Are you a Big Fan of what some call the -Lovers Holiday – ? I have to admit, I’m not really the romantic type. Oh, I love People and things, like my husband and kids and animals and extended family, etc…and seaglass and puppies and horses and Marthas Vineyard and vacations on warm sunny beaches with my toes tucked in the sand…. But I’m not particularly demonstrative in the mushy way that some go about Love. Is that good, or is that bad? I don’t know. I’m not an ice cube, to be clear, but over the top, or even anywhere near that summit, I am not.
There are many forms of Love.. many ways to show it, many reasons for it. Romance to me isn’t so much the hearts and flowers and mushy love letters, poems, chocolates, declarations…. nope.. over the years romance is more about the daily interactions – going to the drug store on a bitter cold night to get your significant other the cold remedy they need, or getting up at 1 a.m. to feed the baby or let the dog out or check the fire…. or going to that darned family reunion you don’t want to go to because your partner wants you there. It’s needing something from someone but recognizing they aren’t in a great place at the moment so you let your own needs go so as not to overwhelm them. It’s believing in someone enough to help them follow their dream, even if it’s not quite your own… or having their support as you challenge yourself or follow your own dreams… It’s knowing someone has your back, always…and returning the favor.
I usually make something yummy and chocolate – this year I made pumpkin spiced iced cookies, recipe HERE... but I saw a few other fun recipes on Pinterest (love me some Pinterest) … that I’ve saved for future reference..
Something I’ve learned about LOVE over the years… it has to start with you. By you I mean… you gotta love yourself. That was a tough lesson I had to learn, took me many years. Why? I couldn’t tell ya, and I even had some therapy sessions to try to figure it all out. Ultimately, I don’t think it was the therapy that got me to a better place. For me, when I sat in the therapists chair, she was telling me things I already knew, and I nodded my head politely to get through the 45 minutes. No…. I think there came a time when I took a good long look at my life, at my life’s patterns… and discovered I could forgive the mistakes because they weren’t made intentionally, I should forgive the mistakes of others because holding grudges is like drinking poison.. and the person I was as a whole was genuine, kind most of the time, decent and true. If I could use those words to describe myself and know it wasn’t bull, then why didn’t I think I was worthy of my own admiration. Why didn’t I believe it? Life is hard, for all of us in one way or another. We sure as hell don’t need to make it harder for ourselves.
So.. I say…. The “lovers holiday” is not just for those who are romantically linked. And Hey – if you’re the romantic type, and you’ve got that romantic person to do those romantic things with that you see in the movies, have at it! Enjoy. Hallmark loves you especially. If you’re NOT one of those and you’re just wishing for this event to be over with…. I say use this day to acknowledge your own worth.. an appreciation for who you have come to be. For once, don’t focus on any of the things you might have done better, don’t focus on the love you don’t have… blah blah blah. Pay tribute to -you-. Do something nice for yourself.
My husband and kids will get cards (mushy! even) and small gifts from me, plus that plate of cookies on the counter… and a nice dinner. There will be a fire in the fireplace as the temps drop to close to zero overnight and the dogs will be at our feet as the husband and I sip a glass of wine, or Baileys, and watch a movie – (or a rerun of Law and Order Special Victims Unit – because right now we’re hooked) To me… being able to count on that… is my romance. I love it. Every simple part about it. And loving the me I have become… (and it’s still hard for me to even type that without feeling it’s narcistic) … is the icing on the chocolate cake.
Cute Kids craft…
One more thing… if you were to give yourself something for this holiday, what would it be? (Besides the wish for good health and happiness, something we all wish for regularly)… No, I want you to be materialistic right now with your wish… what would it be? If I could get away with it? I’d add a dog to the family – a pomeranian. Oh, how I love these little dogs. The only things that stop me are 1) the husband 2) I’d need to -rescue- it. Buying a dog now that I have been in rescue for a few years just doesn’t feel right. But look at these precious pups…
