There is major suckitude in the Adobe world, let me tell you a little something.
So…. I have taken back an old position as editor of a local publication, right? Let me be clear that I am thrilled to do so, grateful for the opportunity, thankful that others had faith in me to do it justice. BUT.. I haven’t done this for the past 10 years. * Things have changed.
For one thing, I can’t use Pagemaker, my long lost friend, to put the publication together anymore. Actually when you say that word to any tech store person, they laugh. Apparently, it’s a dinosaur. Extinct. Doesn’t matter, though!… Because I am no longer actually putting the publication together, so to speak, I’m just doing the editorial and -helping- to assemble!
So I’m saying to my little self – AWESOME NEWS!…
Except… there were still glitches. Apparently, the whole world uses ADOBE products now for this sort of thing and a host of other -things- that I might or might not have a use for. Apparently I have been living under a rock. Have you heard of Adobe Cloud? It encompasses a whole lot of capability – Indesign, Photoshop, ILlustrator, lightroom, Acrobat Pro… and there… right there… was were I came across THE RUB.
While in the process of learning the ropes with my new old job, I discovered I would need to get up to speed with those Adobe products in order to share work with my partner in our little publication. So I downloaded Adobe Cloud, which I will pay $30. per month for, because you can no longer just go to Staples and buy the CD… Nooooo… it’s a monthly charge thing that you download from a site! The Adobe site in this case. Yep, they figured out how to make more money off us. Anyway. I download it, right? And I start rummaging around in the Cloud on my computer. One of the key components in my job is the use of Acrobat Pro. It is supposed to come with the Cloud package. For some reason, it wasn’t there. *sigh.
How do you get in contact with Adobe for f*ck ups? Well, you can take your chances in the forums or search 250,000 help articles which they ask you to do ten times before they will actually connect you to a CHAT session with an Adobe tech.
How do I make a long story short here.
First tech:…two and a half hours of all kinds of diagnostics, not getting anywhere, only to have the internet connection cut off and chat session end. (really?)….
Before the disconnect, however…after a lengthy aggravating diagnostic check… We finally figured out one small thing and I said..
well, at least we cleared that up, “D”.. Need a Cigarette? ….
To which “D” replied.. We do not smoke here.
I don’t either, D. It was just a joke.
“D” says… Oh, that is good humor.
What country do you reside in, D?….
Bangalore, India.
Ok D, I’ll quit the American Humor.
*SIGH.
five minutes later, we’re disconnected.
Second tech:… two hours… all kinds of diagnostics, the same as tech one… still can’t figure out what the issue is. I’m red in the face at the end of this chat… which ends AGAIN… by internet disconnect. (Swearing profusely at this point).
Third tech a day later:…. I explain all that has come before this and he apologizes profusely for the inconvenience and he “understands my concern”. ( I don’t really think so ) He explains there are often disconnects due to the internet connection being dicey. Coming all the way from F-ing India, I am not surprised. But we go about the same damned dance one more time, and yet, at the end of another two hour struggle we have still gotten nowhere.
Only.. THIS time.. this tech has the brains to say..
May I ask you.. what Operating System are you using?…
Vista.
OH!.. he exclaims with just a little too much of an underscore of HAPPINESS!…. We can’t help you! Acrobat Pro is not compatible with Vista! You’ll need to contact Microsoft. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Can you pass a Marguerita through that screen and coat the rim with Xanax? If not, there’s nothing more you can help me with today.
Internet Disconnect.
So where do I go from here? Apparently I have to upgrade my operating system in order to get the tools I’ve already paid for and downloaded to my computer. And apparently that would be costly and a royal pain in the a&&. Especially because I have an older computer. So.. this week I’m getting a new computer that has an OS that is compatible with the components I need to utilize in my new old position. THEN, I will need to go back into the black hole that is ADOBE TECH SUPPORT and hope the first tech I talk to can figure out how to install Adobe Cloud onto my NEW COMPATIBLE COMPUTER SYSTEM so that I can get back to work. And not charge me twice for it. What are the odds of that happening without a DISCONNECT-
Do you know why Adobe sucks? They have a monopoly on the design/publishing/photoshop/etc world. There is no other option if you’re in this business. How is that legal? Everyone and their brother and third cousin twice removed plus their dogs, parrot and pet skunk uses Adobe. So, if you want to be compatible with everyone else? You need the Cloud.
And you know what also sucks? That they hire all that tech help overseas. I know plenty of techies looking for a decent job right here in the states. I have nothing against the good people of India… but we have good people right here that need the jobs to stay .. right here. That’s the biggest suckitude in all of this.
I’ll keep you posted.. next time.. from my expensive new computer, hopefully equipped compatibly.