I would have liked this post to announce the joys of Spring, renewal, the feeling of Resurrection I associate with Easter and its traditions. Indeed I have begun the cooking and other preparations for this evenings extended family feast here at This Old House. Dyed eggs are in their basket and the sweet bread is on the table with fruit, along with my kiddos Easter baskets full of chocolate and peeps and t-shirts, etc.
Sadly, we received news last night of the passing of a troubled man who had worked for us on and off for many years. He was a good soul, troubled by substance abuse demons he couldn’t seem to kick to the curb. Tim always reminded me of a big kid who hadn’t quite grown up… still loved a good laugh or practical joke, time spent with friends, a fishing pole, a frisbee, tie-dyed t-shirts and the Grateful Dead. He loved his music! He also loved to dull his anxieties with -the stuff- and in the end it did him in. At 45, too young.
Drug and alcohol addiction is a horrible disease. If you think all of those who become ensnared in it’s death grip are loser lowlife no-conscience abusers, you are wrong. It can happen to anyone, some of us are more vulnerable than others. My last encounter with Tim was at the grocery store parking lot… when he saw me coming toward him he jokingly ducked behind his car and then came around and we hugged big. I told him he looked good and I hoped all was going well for him. I meant it.
Be kind the next time you encounter someone you may know is struggling, doesn’t matter that you don’t approve of their situation. You have no idea what they are living with and you never know if it’s the last time you’ll see them. Don’t be afraid or too busy to reach out, either. Sometimes, that is the one thing that saves them. We all wish we had one more chance to reach out to Tim. Just one more.
Today I will cook for my family, enjoy the laughter and the shared stories, the jokes round the table and even the political banter, because we are lucky to be here together. To have this food to share, these stories to tell..and to do it without the demons sitting on our shoulder.