Adjustments, Flexibility, Change

Life is all about adjustments, isn’t it.  The structure of that sentence deserves a question mark, but it’s not really a question.  Nothing is set in stone, nothing is forever, nothing is permanent, and nothing should be taken for granted, I think it’s safe to say.   How easily or begrudgingly we make adjustments – or refuse to make them – determines the flavor and tone of our life’s path. Let’s not leave out the word “flexibility”, of which I am not always the best example.

When I was young, I lived in a busy suburb of the Big City…and I couldn’t wait to make an adjustment. As soon as it was possible, I high-tailed it to the country and have never regretted that decision. Then came marriage and the adjustment of living with someone who is in some ways my polar opposite. Oh, there have been trying times, but over the years the adjustments and some serious flexing on both of our parts  have created a life that  flows forward  most of the time in a satisfying and good way.

When children enter the picture there is a whole ‘nother world of adjustment… all good, in my opinion.  Easy?  Heck, no.  To be a good parent you need to be flexible, sometimes bending in three different directions at the same time, but it’s all worth it. Most recently, I’m trying to accept the idea that just because my children have more options than I had at their age, it doesn’t mean they have to take them.  Adjust.
I’m slowly changing the behavior of breathing down my kids necks with
worry, no easy feat.   My son said yesterday.. “hey mom, you handled my
late arrival last night pretty well, I appreciate you staying calm,
thank you”.     He’s almost 18 and he’s been pretty responsible and
respectful.  A little diversion brings him home a little late..on a
school night?   Flex. Adjust.

In my late forties, I need to change my habits some to give my body the best chance to carry me another  40 years or so, If I’m very lucky. So I’m accepting that I need medication to help regulate my fluctuating hypertension issues, and I’m  tweaking my exercise routine and choosing  better eating habits most of the time… (don’t browse my blogs  recipe list just now, OK?). I’m also  helping my husband jump start his efforts too.   Adjust.

Another adjustment at this stage of the game… my parents and relatives are aging, and some dear relatives have passed away. You start to feel your own age progressing as you lose those who you have loved and have played a supporting role throughout your life.    My father now needs assistance in various ways.  Our relationship has always been a strained one and I’m not honest if I don’t say that there has been resentment and anger in our equation.  The bottom line is, now he needs me and I can hold on to that heavy stuff or let it go… Adjust, flex.   I’m finding it’s easier on the soul to do so…and he has found a way to appreciate it.  He, too, is adjusting. 

Friends old and new have taught me  that through  their own difficult circumstances, whether they are dealing with life threatening or debilitating illness, loss of loved ones, financial troubles, etc… their remarkable ability to adjust, to flex, to accept change and make the best of their life circumstances has allowed them to live a full and rewarding life regardless. Vicky… Dawn… Vickie…. Kate… Hilary… Sally…. Sandra…my own daughter K… and so many more.
      
Regardless of the specific circumstances, which are different for each of us –  We alone are responsible for the flavor and tone of our life’s path. If you don’t like what you’re living, it’s not someone else’s fault, no matter how easy it is to cast blame.   I’m figuring out that adjusting, being flexible, being open to change and sometimes being the
catalyst to change.. these are definitely key components to a contented
life.

  Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time…  We are the ones we are waiting for.. we are the changes we seek.