Actually, you don’t have to… because I’ll probably just send you a text. Hopefully not while driving or having dinner with my family. But if I’m being honest here, I can’t even guarantee that. And that’s what has me concerned, for a lot of reasons.
I left the house yesterday morning with a list of errands. About 15 minutes down the road I realized I had left my cell phone at home. A wave of panic flew over me and I actually contemplated adding a half hour onto my drive time just to get the damn cell phone. And that made me think. Ten years ago I did not own a cell phone. Communication was basically land line at the house, snail mail and WOW NEW THING – E_MAIL!…and that was awesome…and sufficient! How did I become so attached to my cell phone ? (now an iphone, which I love and can’t imagine living without ).
To be fair, what I love about it the most is the clear communication of text because I’m hearing impaired and it’s easier. Even more importantly, there’s the access to my kids, especially when they are out and I want to check on them. But even THIS has it’s down side for me. Because now that I have “instant access” to the knowledge of their wellbeing and whereabouts (within reason, I’m not stupid) …sometimes, if they aren’t near their phone or it’s turned off.. there’s a new wave of panic, and that’s just silly. I do remember my own childhood, afterall, when there were no cell phones. Basically after breakfast on weekends we did our chores begrudgingly, and headed out into the neighborhood. “Be back when the streetlights come on”… said my mother. When I was a teen, I’de have track meets after school. I’de get on a city bus that would take me to where I had to go, come home at some point and that’s when I’de touch base with my mom again. That’s it! It worked and I’m still here to blog about it. In raising my own children I wouldn’t call myself a “helicopter parent”.. but in some ways and thanks to cell phone technology, I suppose that shoe fits.
I don’t generally text and drive. I preach this to my kids on a regular basis. Honesty hitting me square in the face again and forcing me to come clean, though… not long ago MY SON said to me.. “Mom, stop texting and driving”… and I looked over and said “I’m not, I”m just reading a text ____ sent me”… and he said “SAME THING! If you saw me doing that when I get my license you’de scream at me”. and he’s right!. That conversation shamed me… how can I preach safety to my kids if I’m not practicing what I preach. I’m glad my son called me on it, and every time I’m tempted I remember that conversation. I’m sorry it had to happen in the first place.
Not long ago we were sitting in a Texas Long Horn restaurant. Across the isle were another family.. five children ages approx. 7-18 and two adults. ALL of them… all of them… were texting continuously, rarely stopping to throw a sentence at each other. This continued for a full hour until they got up and left. When I walk down a city street (I noticed this in NYC) people are texting, talking, reading while walking. Totally connected to whoever it is on the other end of their gadget… totally DISconnected from the world around them. I see teens gathered at sports events, standing together but silent.. texting someone somewhere else. NOT connecting with each other. What is this going to do to the new generation’s ability to socialize, interact face-to-face? We’ve become so -connected- we’re not even speaking to the person next to us or enjoying the moment we are living in, doing whatever it is we are doing in that moment. Even on my recent rail trail ride on my horse… I had the cell phone in use, even though I was enjoying a beautiful day with two friends on a scenic ride in a new place.
It’s ironic, this new world of total connection.
Where is this all leading?.. because it’s not going away. We do have the power to put the phone down, though.. and it’s something I’m going to try to do more often.
All photos courtesy google and whoever took them.
I don't know how to text. I don't want to learn. I detest seeing people in stores and restaurants on their damned phones. Rudeness knows no bounds. Every time I hear all this noise, I rush back home to my sanity and my sanctuary. Because I have had problems with noises since early childhood. It is part of another disorder, where I don't seem to have "filters" to protect me. It socially isolates a person, because they cannot deal with the outside world in its current chaotic state. So I shall for the most part stay home. It is where I feel safe.
Brenda
I totally hear you on this topic. Both Walter and Davis wanted to give me a smart phone in September for my birthday, but I turned them both down. I know how addicted I would be and how rude I would behave. I don't want to be any worse than I already am.
I worked non-stop with 20-somethings the last three months. These folks would rather call and ask where the WalMart is instead of looking it up in the phone book or text even if I am in the next room. I'm trying to reel myself back in to real connectedness by sitting with a real book and a real cup of tea while occasionally glancing our my real back door at my real lake.
Thanks!
I'm glad you wrote this post. It should knock some sense into me now!
<3
This is a very thoughtful post. Enjoyed reading it.
Oh my this post is perfectly timed for me!!! Last night I couldn't get a hold of my daughter for 3 hours, she normally calls us on her way home from work, and I was panicked! Like you I grew up being gone all day and into the night once I was home from college, and my mother only got panicked if we were out sailing and weren't home by 2:00 am!
I have a Droid and I have to force myself to put it down sometimes. And kids do gather together and then just text. When they are at my house, at least they leave their phones sometimes and go out in the kayaks. Yikes, you are so right, many people have lost the ability to carry on a decent conversation and I said to my husband the other day, "I wonder whether our someday grandchildren will be able to sit and read a book?!"
Thanks for this post!
Kat 🙂
Wow – I couldn't agree more with this post, Karen. I don't have texting on my cell, and the kids know that if I'm driving I won't answer it. They can laugh all they want. It's becoming a true epidemic and I really feel for those little ones coming along; have to agree totally with Kat on the issue of the grands (and greats) on reading a book. Even Hunter uses her play phone to call her 'play' boyfriend, and then wants me to talk to him. LOL
Have a wonderful weekend!!
P.S. LOVE your new header; you always have the most beutiful ones. 🙂
beutiful – see that's why I don't text. LOL
I have a cell phone and used to be on it constantly. One day I forgot it and I "got by". I have a hands-free cell phone built into my car. It is voice activated and I use it when I am driving. But..when I leave the car I must grab the phone itself and take it with me. All of a sudden I realized that I am getting ALL my calls on my cellphone and that I don't want to carry it with me 24/7. So, I have started leaving it in the car. Guess what? I didn't die! The world kept on functioning just as it always did. IF someone needs to get ahold of me I do have a land line.
My son works for AT&T. We have the best there is phone wise. I refuse to text. I want to live in the real world and not be a bunch of mispelled words held in someone's hand. I think for others-it is fine. For me? Not so much.
It's a different world today and I think sometimes kids in certain situations need phones just for their own safety….and that is sad, just sad. Hugs, Diana
It seems we were on the same wavelength! I share all your concerns, as I wrote in my post yesterday. I well remember, by they way, being out and about during the day and my mom saying be back when the streetlights go on. Things were much simpler then, weren't they?
xo
Claudia
I 'hear' you one the texting part, since we are both hearing impaired. I am also one of those rare people who really don't like to be on the phone just chatting, so other then checking up on the kids, I rarely use it. I wish others were more like me. I hate when people use their cell phones when driving.
I decided where we are going to eat tonight by reading your post…and we don't have to go to Texas! Well, neither did you! Ain't it grand?
XO,
Jane
wow, Karen….great post.
Owning this is tough…..but we must..if not now, then later, and it will be harder……
Great post! I find it a VERY interesting subject. What concerns me more actually? Is all the katrillion waves that passing through our bodies every second of the day and night. WHAT will be the fallout of THAT 5 years from now? I am frightened.
I LOVE texting (especially since I got my BB Bold), but it makes me sad when I see people WITH people and everyone is texting someone else like the family you saw. 🙁
Is Texas Long Horn like Texas Roadhouse? We went there last night. Mmmmm to the ribeye.
We have one cell phone that my husband and I share. He detests cell phones and will only use one if absolutely necessary. Now, his iPad…. well, that's a different story. Can't get it out of his hands.
I keep the cell phone with me when I drive anywhere but rarely use it. We buy $100 worth of minutes per year and don't even use them all up. It's just not a necessity in our world.
I watch people back out of their driveways and before they even turn onto the street they are on the phone calling someone. I just laugh at them and their silly addiction to it.
Di
Oh, and I have never texted in my life and have no plans to learn how.
Amen. You hit the nail on the head. I am on the dumb phone all the time if I am driving or just around the house if Jemma is off doing something. I text some, but not a ton. I do not ever text or read text while driving. I saw a public service announcement on youtube from England about texting and driving, and I swore right then and there as I sat crying at my computer that I would NEVER text while driving. I completely agree with the whole socially isolating ourselves. It is crazy to see a family at dinner and they never speak. I also despise that kids can't spell or use punctuation. Drives me batty!!! I am making a vow right now to put down my cell. I am not going to use it in the car and if Jemma is awake. I am going to see how I do for a week! I'll check in with you! I am
Very good PSA Karen! I HATE texting and driving…or talking on the phone while driving…me or anybody else. We had a horrific accident here where five cheerleaders were killed just before they graduated…they had their whole lives ahead of them and they were texting while driving. Go to Oprah.com and sign the No Phone pledge…I am a firm believer. I LOVE the simplicity of texting…just to get a quick answer! It really is so much easier than picking up the phone and waiting for the person to answer and it takes much less time! I remember the days growing up…never had phones and we all lived. I guess the one thing we have to remember is that we do live in a different world now and for the safety of ourselves and our kids…we just have to have a phone. Sad but true. I also use mine alot for short little videos or pics!! My husband absolutely refused to learn how to text and thinks it is the stupidest thing ever! I tell him he needs to get with the program! Ha!!!
Well, that's progress for you. I guess it's not to be stopped. Just yesterday we were having dinner with friends and this was topic of conversation. We might think it is not normal to have a phone glued to your ear or to our hands 24 hrs a day, but the next generation doesn't know any better/different.
Please be careful with using your phone while you drive 🙂 It is against the law in the Netherlands, but I do see lots of people holding a phone while driving a car. Not a good idea. As you well know!
😉
It's against the law in Nova Scotia to use the cell phone when driving. Common courtesy usually goes out the window when people have cell phones. I can't stand listening to people talk on the phone when I'm trying to have a nice meal in a restaurant. Some of their conversations should remain private, and not shared with a room of people. Needless to say, we don't own a cell phone. And you should see the looks I get when I'm asked for my home phone number, and then my cell phone number….and I tell the person I don't own a cell phone. Yes, I live in the dark ages and am loving it!
So many changes happen in our lives…I can remember my mother trying to limit my time on the regular telephone…and how my sister and I begged for an extention phone in our bedroom…which we never got…One phone for the house was enough! This leads me to believe that there will certainly be yet another invention beyond the cellphone and texting which we will all have to adjust to…I may not text but I can't wait to see the next new thing:) …and hope I live to see it:)