Be the Light – This Old House 2

Another light goes out

I don’t have any words that feel any sort of adequate when it comes to the violence we are all witnessing in this distraught world. Between a rhode island mass killer still at large, jews being assassinated on a beach as they celebrate their holiday of Light and Rob and Michele Reiner reportedly killed by their troubled son, and none of us can ignore the state of our current political climate to boot, ……. it all feels like a very dark world indeed.

Rob Reiner was a very gifted artist in the entertainment world , an Individual whom many of us first met as Meathead a/k/a Mike Stivic in the TV series All In The Family, his progressive views reasoning with Archie’s obvious ignorance I could relate to even at an early age. They were teaching us even then, and he continued believing in the goodness of people and championing equality and fairness for all as he moved through life unapologetically and with gusto, as did his parents before him. He and Charlie Kirk stood at the opposite ends of the political spectrum, yet his words when Kirk was assassinated, were the grace we all needed, the grace this world needs to find, and quick.

I don’t know how to fix broken people and ugly ideologies, but I know the power we each have to choose a kinder and more responsible and tolerant way to tread through this world and I hope this society, this world we live in, starts leaning in to that, in every corner of our existence.

A glorious October

Despite predictions that New England would have a drab fall foliage season due to the drought we experienced over the summer months, there’s been plenty of beautiful color. My walks and hikes with Kai have been fragrant with crunching leaves underfoot, the strong scent of pine needles along some of my favorite paths, the swirling breezy wiffs of autumn that always bring me back to childhood and fond memories – leaf pile making and jumping in. “Dog shows” on the front lawn with neighborhood kids and their pets. Making little trails in the leaves with rakes for my breyer model horses – For in the ‘burbs’ there was no room for real horses.

In our yard there are three shrub varieties that are beautiful this time of year… If you’re looking to add color to yours, these are a great addition.

Flaming azalea…

CrapeMyrtle –

And Snowball Viburnum – in spring months the flowers of this shrub are wonderfully fragrant.

Out on the trails and around the farm, the golden hues have been intoxicating…

Sometimes kai and I traverse a town instead of beach or woods walks. The Town of Essex does a spooktacular job during Halloween season, one of our favorite strolls.

The grands continue to bring me so much joy, and the holidays come alive again in a whole new way when we get to share it with them, and see their excitement and wonder and thrill –

Another joy of mine is getting to witness my kids become loving and engaged parents. Daughter K has her second child due in January – grand No. 4!

Two simple recipes Susan Branch has shared weaved into her art –

We had a celebrity visit here on the farm a few days ago…. If you know, you know. Well the picture helps if you don’t know 🙂

The Mister and I have visited a few farm markets, this month was the last hurrah for the farm market season and we took advantage… We are sixty-ish now and it shows, but those smiles and lines and gray hairs represent a lot of living that I am grateful for. Amen… and Amen again.

Up at the barn, it’s blanket season! Max is now about 30 years old, we don’t want the old boy to have to work his body too hard to stay warm… and Leah, bred for show… doesn’t grow a strong winter coat so we give her a boost as well.

I am tempted to dive into the tangle of current events, so much of it alarming… but I think I’ll leave this post as a reminder that there are many many things to be thankful for, and our peace is worthy of protection. Keep doing all the things you do to make the world a better place, even the smallest acts of kindness send a ripple out into the world. Hug those you love, love on them well and tell them often. Take care of yourself, too.

Cheers to hope for the future, from our moms, who are still with us, (so thankful for that)…. to you. To all of us! 🥂

Till soon –

We are The United States of America

We are the United States of America

not the United States of Republicans or Democrats. And like it or not, our differences over history have also been our strengths. Balance is the key word here. We shouldn’t have “sides”, there should be no – us and them – there should be a collection of voices that together hammer out the massive problems we have so that we all actually survive… and the goal of course .. to thrive.

So many external forces would love to see us crash and burn, and currently watching all the vitriol, we are on a course to hand them that victory. It’s not rocket science. And please please please… at every turn and in every party at every election from now on , elect officials that walk and talk Unity amongst us all, not the us versus them rhetoric that will be our demise if we dont figure that out.

I did not like some of what Ch*rlie K*rk had to say… some of it was pretty hateful and should have no rightful place in the fabric of this country, yet it’s there. But you cannot preach what I said above if you are not willing to hear any of the messages from a different perspective or you can’t have empathy and indeed horror for a hideous act.

Here’s what I hope America learns and keeps in its soul after the awful deaths of recent political figures both Democrat and Republican. And let’s not forget the children slaughtered in schools because we have yet to do anything about the hate and mental illness epidemic we have in this country.

Let these words of Charl*e K*rk be his lasting contribution to a better America – “When people stop talking, that’s when you get violence. When people stop talking, that’s when civil war happens, because you start to think the other side is so evil and they lose their humanity. What we have to get back to is being able to have a reasonable disagreement where violence is not an option.”

Amen to that –

Heaven is Here

Pardon the poor spacing in various places here… wordpress can be maddening and I’m done wrangling it for the day 🙂

It’s late August and fall is knocking on the door with cooler nights and the leaves on some trees are actually starting to turn. Around the farm with not enough rain, our tomato plants, grape vines, raspberry bushes and so on petered out early.

Molly and Lacey eating breakfast

The girls at the EggPlant enjoying some free range

With current events what they are, I’ve been distancing myself more often so that I can enjoy my time on this earth as best I can, and the people I love that are in it. We live in remarkable times, both good and bad. Here’s some of the good….

A dear friend of mine posted this a few nights ago. He has had some remarkable adventures, some incredible highs and some very deep sorrows but he always finds his way to a better place regardless. With his musings he brings me and anyone else lucky enough to read or hear his stories along for the ride. I keep telling him he needs to retire and write a memoir… he’s my modern day Charles Kuralt. Michael, I hope you’ll forgive me for sharing.

“On a late August evening where the calendar said summer, but the air had that hint of Autumn; I went down to Lynnie Lou’s Ice cream in Naples, New York for the last “Car Cruise Night” of the Year. It’s a summer staple every Wednesday night in June, July and August and I’d yet to make it to one this summer.

Aside from the ice cream (peach sundaes were plentiful), the fare was burgers, fries and rings along with music and joyous, exuberant (but very bad) Karaoke. The crowd was decidedly older (as am I) but the evening and night were perfect. Everywhere I looked people were smiling, having a grand old time whether eating, looking at the cars, getting ice cream, bravely doing Karaoke, dancing or just chatting with friends.

All sorts of old 50’s cars…. some Corvettes and old pickup trucks…. even a 1969 Dodge Charger Daytona, complete with a huge rear spoiler and dressed in a can’t miss me color of “Hemi Orange.” Occasionally one of these old beauty’s would fire up…..go for a spin and head up Rt. 21 with tires squealing and glass pack mufflers echoing a sound I had not heard in years. A sound of my youth. Lynn the owner of the ice cream stand was cooking away at the grill singing to the music while young high school kids waited on the many hungry customers in line for a burger.

Scenes like tonight take place all over small towns across America. Sitting there soaking it all in on a perfect summer night I was as content as I’d ever been. The line from Field of Dreams came to mind where the numerous ball players ask Ray Kinsella…. “Is this heaven?” Tonight if I’d been asked that question I’d have answered…… “No its Naples!”

There are small towns that dot the landscape of America all across this great land….and I’m very happy that I chose this one. Thanks, Lynnie Lou’s for a special evening that made me feel right at home (and oh, I really do think this is heaven.)”

I’ve been painting more of my “tiny painting series” in preparation for our upcoming artisan market. This is our 10th year of collaboration to put on this show, and I am so grateful for all the volunteers who come together to help us make it happen… and especially my market partner, Linda, who is more organized than I will ever be. We make a good team and that is such a gift. With over 90 quality artisan vendors and some really awesome food selections, it takes a village.

Mia’s Rocks… My granddaughter and I picked some rocks on the beach in Maine and we made this heart at waters edge. I painted it as a keepsake ❤️

This is a scene another dear friend took while on his boat watching fireworks… he has already collected this tiny painting, a reminder for him of a wonderful night he spent with his wife and friends in his favorite place.. on the water in a boat he’s restored.

When the season from summer to fall begins to change I spend more time in the kitchen and begin the hunt for new-to-me fall recipes. Having good food on the table for my family brings me tremendous satisfaction. The cleaning up part, not so much, LOL. I also bring out the big binder full of recipes I’ve been collecting since my early 20’s – many of which are from family and friends, some of whom have departed. The handwritten ones are my favorites…. and each time I make their dishes it feels a little like bringing those loved ones back into my kitchen to say hello.

My daughter brought this home from first grade class and it’s a wonderful bread to have on the counter in fall months.

Aunt Ro was a wonderful cook who could whip up a big four course meal for the whole extended family – If you like Brushetta, this is a good recipe. She left us last year in her 90’s.

Marge was the mother of a man I dated briefly. We became life long friends and she also lived into her 90’s. Marge was a fountain of optimism, I always enjoyed time spent with her, her enthusiasm for life and good old common sense were golden rays of sunshine even on the dreariest of days . She loved horses and dogs, too… and the state of Montana, which she and her husband visited whenever they could travel out west to visit a few of their sons.

Till soon, friends –

And Just Like That…..

… it’s August.

We welcomed our third grandchild last Friday! Much to his parent’s surprise, he has a shock of beautiful red hair. We are all over the moon, full of joy for this little guy, who joins his sister M and cousin J, all of whom are being raised on this family farm.

My daughter and her son… my son and his daughter in our vegetable garden on the hill behind our house.. This picture captures the dream my husband and I have been building for 37 years and not a day goes by that I am not grateful for this blessing.

Speaking of blessings… the fruits of our labor were on the dinner table last night…

Not pictured is my most favorite summer food… a simple garden tomato sandwich with mayo, salt & pepper. Sometimes some greens.

More garden shots…. I think planting things in your surroundings and nurturing them is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.

If you’ve been visiting this blog for years, you’ll remember our cottage at the shoreline.. Stella. That was a wonderful renovation project and we enjoyed Stella for six years. What we discovered along that journey is having two places to manage/maintain when our main homestead takes up so much of our time and energy isn’t ideal. I found that most of my time spent at the cottage was doing the upkeep chores instead of the rest and relaxation it was intended for. So ultimately we decided to sell it. Mom had been renting a summer cottage down on the island for five years previously, and this year the opportunity to rent that previous cottage came available…. and so we headed down to the island again, moved mom in for a little over a week… and enjoyed what initially drew us to the area – rest, relaxation, sea air, shore birds, and a few refreshing gin & tonics.

Who knew cormorants had such beautiful greenBlue eyes! They are the color of jadeite –

Have you ever seen an American Oyster Catcher? They, too, have beautiful eyes. All of these shots I was able to get while out in the kayak in the cove.

Back on the farm… smoke from the Canadian wildfires has made our sunrises and sunsets eerily red lately. Sometimes we can smell the smoke of it….

One of my favorite quotes – “We’re all just walking each other home”….. I keep reminding myself to keep this mentality when I allow myself to peek at the news headlines or glance at the TV screen as the noise blares. And there is SO… MUCH… NOISE. I’ve not ever enjoyed politics, largely just keeping it out of my life other than to exercise my right to vote and cast my pebble into the ocean of what feels like the right trajectory for us and our fellow countrymen. I knew there were many things our governing bodies were not getting right, many things that needed change and action that wasn’t coming – and that blame lies across the entire political spectrum.

That being said… I would not ever have believed an administration and a leader who is so thoroughly corrupt right in front of our very eyes in every facet of the human existence could muster the kind of cultlike support he has managed to create. It’s mindblowing. Ignoring it feels like a cop out, so I can’t.

If your entire political identity is built on hating “the other” – immigrants, queer kids, people of color, women who speak up – then maybe it’s time to ask who really broke this country. Because it certainly wasn’t progressive ideas… and let’s be honest about what that actually means, those progressives… the idea of progress. Specifically, it refers to social progress, the process of a society lifting itself out of ignorance, injustice, and inequality, toward a future that promises enlightenment, prosperity, equality, and environmental sustainability. Why does that notion offend anyone at all? The answer to that isn’t comfortable.

No… what broke this country was the normalization of cruelty, the elevation of fear over fact, and the celebration of power over principle. We didn’t drain the swamp, we added pollution to it.

Loving your country doesn’t require hating its people. If your politics demand cruelty and hate, you’re not patriotic. That’s parasitic.

And I don’t regret losing a few “friends” because I choose to speak up about what we are all seeing and being honest about it. Because I know… where I come from is a place of fairness, justice, truth, equality, safety…the desire for economic and environmental soundness…. FOR ALL.

If you’re still with me, this blurb below is true too…. ” we are all saving each other every single day in tiny, seemingly insignificant ways”…… that. Keep doing it wherever you are. Let’s grow where we are planted, and water others along the way. That is where our power lies, in the every day interactions.

till soon –

The Peace of Wild Things

It’s hard to find the balance when it comes to how much news to digest right now in this current whirlwind of upheaval. How to react and not react, to take some kind of action or to let it go, to remain silent or speak up. I tend to speak up. A lot. Trying for balance though…. Let go or be dragged is one of my little mantras… little quotes I use when I’m feeling the weight of it all to remind myself when I need to do just that. Also… keeping an open mind when you find your thoughts are completely at odds with those of others you respect and even love. Right now in particular, that can be a hard thing and some folks are losing relationships they valued for decades because of it.

In my older years (I’ve just arrived in my 61st year) as some of the responsibilities and pulls of a younger life wane, I take to the woods or beaches more often to ground myself and for better health. I’ve heard the term “forest bathing” but I’m not sure it’s that for me, exactly. The peace is in the trek and the observance of nature and its beauty… especially with my dog, Kai. He is a gentle timid soul who has known abuses I’ll never understand fully. But since coming to me as a 2 year old, he’s learned trust and love and to be (mostly) comfortable in his own skin. We are definitely a team… with my significant hearing loss, he is my ears on the trails and our surroundings. Having gone through this transformation with Kai, our bond is a strong one and I am forever grateful he’s in my life, and for the rescuer who trusted him with me.

Speaking of “Older”…. you’ve probably heard the saying… aging is not for sissies. And maybe you’re at the age where you can relate. Inevitably, we all experience a breaking down of this or that, some worse than others. If we’re lucky, we get to keep going, reasonably sound, for a while to come. Not everyone is that lucky and we never know when our time on this earth might be coming to a close… So.. I choose not to be too freaked about the lines in my face, the eyes that look weary, the extra pounds I’m constantly fighting… the aches of a life lived in an active body. I no longer have a uterus or any semblance of normal hearing. Every one of these things in, so far, sixty years, is a privilege, not a right given to all. I’ll take it, with gratitude.

The wild voilets, trout lily, fern and swamp marigold are all in bloom this week. I look forward to these signs each Spring heralding warmer days ahead. Finding that first yellow bloom with the dappled leaves beneath it leaves me a little giddy and a little hopeful. Don’t we all need a little of that.

The grands are of the age now where they love to explore… and so they, too, are enjoying little trail walks with us. Keeping them from getting completely soaked in the little streams is the challenge of the moment, but their wonder and excitement is contagious❤️

I’ll close this post with a breakfast shake I like to throw together… it’s delicious and good for you…. Spinach, banana, blueberries, honey, hemp seed hearts and ice… however much of each you prefer, and switch it up with any number of other healthy options you might have in the fridge. Just toss it all in a blender, pour in a glass and drink up the goodness.

Till soon –

Hope Floats

I’d like to see a bit more of this world before I leave it, and I still hope to do a little of that… but I have to be realistic in that I married a man who has a hard time being comfortable outside of his well trodden box. In recent years to help ease my wander lust I’ve taken to hiking the trails that are in abundance around our state, amazed at how many there are for the public to enjoy. The diversity of the geography of Connecticut as a state gives me a lot of options and it’s a great way for me to get exercise, too . I’m not a gym rat, I just don’t enjoy spending a lot of time in one place running or walking to nowhere. But when out in the woods or along the beaches, there’s always something to marvel at, to discover, to appreciate. And nature brings me peace.

When checking out a new trail system in Essex, CT I discovered a little free library at the trail head. I browsed the books and found a gem to take home – Following Atticus, by Tom Ryan. If you’re a nature lover, a dog lover, a lover of old souls however complex… I highly recommend his two current books and especially subscribing to his blog or “substack” a new term to me. He’s currently on a five month hiking journey driving across country with his two rescue dogs, which has become an annual trek. His photography is just beautiful… He describes his journey, the landscapes, the people he meets along the way, with kindness and an honesty that is so needed.

An excerpt from Tom’s post this morning…. and if you’re not familiar with E.B. White.. he gave us Charlotte’s Web, Stuart Little and many other stories….

_______________________________________________________

……..In 1973, White received a letter from a man who had lost his faith in humanity. Many of you have undoubtedly read White’s response, but for those who have not, here it is.

North Brooklin, Maine,
30 March 1973

Dear Mr. Nadeau:

As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate. Hope is the thing that is left to us, in a bad time. I shall get up Sunday morning and wind the clock, as a contribution to order and steadfastness.

Sailors have an expression about the weather: they say, the weather is a great bluffer. I guess the same is true of our human society — things can look dark, then a break shows in the clouds, and all is changed, sometimes rather suddenly. It is quite obvious that the human race has made a queer mess of life on this planet. But as a people we probably harbor seeds of goodness that have lain for a long time waiting to sprout when the conditions are right. Man’s curiosity, his relentlessness, his inventiveness, his ingenuity have led him into deep trouble. We can only hope that these same traits will enable him to claw his way out.

Hang on to your hat. Hang on to your hope. And wind the clock, for tomorrow is another day.

Sincerely,
E. B. White

____________________________________________________________-

If you’re so inclined… his two books are Following Atticus, and Will’s Red Coat. If you would like to check out his Blog/Substack… it can be found here. I highly recommend a subscription. The visuals of his travels alone are so beautiful.

https://tomryan.substack.com/

So I’m looking at the start of a new decade and with this one in particular, the aging process really kicks in physically and mentally. There’s no question I have let myself latch on to some excuses and some fears when it comes to pushing physical boundaries to reach better fitness- I’ve let the pains that come with living an active life slow me down and I got lazy too. My number one goal is to stay relatively healthy and active till the day I die, like most of us, I suppose. I’ve contemplated many things that go hand in hand with that goal, but no. 1 for me now is to stop letting fear ( will I make my arthritic neck and hands worse?) and complacency stall me. At this point most of us have some issues- mine is some arthritis from all the years of horse and barn work, significant hearing impairment and the stress that comes with it, and the pain associated with “ fibromyalgia” , whatever that really means. Also, My stress reliever is making and eating food. Not always the healthy kind. My face is puffy, I’ve got a menopause gut, and I could lose 25 pounds and not be too thin. It’s time to stop complaining, stop fearing age and hold myself accountable. My hope is to come back with another picture that shows progress in a few months and a better path to healthier aging. Some simple changes I’ve made in recent months are increasing my hikes and walks, drinking more water and eating and preparing more healthy meals- greens, berries, nuts, fish in more abundance. Less meat, much less processed foods. Now I’m coming back to the gym just for 20 minutes of light weight training about four times a week.

Till soon, friends…

The Atheist

I love this so much.

A rabbi was asked by one of his students “Why did God create atheists?” After a long pause, the rabbi finally responded with a soft but sincere voice. “God created atheists” he said, “to teach us the most important lesson of them all – the lesson of true compassion. You see, when an atheist performs an act of charity, visits someone who is sick, helps someone in need, and cares for the world, he is not doing so because of some religious teaching. He does not believe that God commanded him to perform this act. In fact, he does not believe in God at all, so his actions are based on his sense of morality. Look at the kindness he bestows on others simply because he feels it to be right. When someone reaches out to you for help. You should never say ‘I’ll pray that God will help you.’ Instead, for that moment, you should become an atheist – imagine there is no God who could help, and say ‘I will help you’.” — Martin Buber, “Tales of the Hasidim”

59

Well, shit.

This is the weekend of my 59th birthday, and while I certainly feel it, I’m also so grateful I’m still here with a body still willing to carry me on ahead for a great while longer… that is my ultimate hope, anyway. I have vowed to take better care of this vehicle, and while I haven’t abused her horribly, there’s room for tweaks and there to I shall go.

Yesterday my faithful dog, Kai and I took a 3 mile hike through some very pretty trails, an easy trek with no scrambles through Pine forest and supply pond with swans and turtles and even a skunk making an appearance. No photo of that particular encounter. The weather was gorgeous and there were others out there enjoying it too. I love those days when it’s obvious everyone is in a better mood, spirits are lifted, faces to the sun 🌞

Later in the day, the Mr. and I had a late lunch/dinner at a friend’s restaurant on the water, I chose a healthy meal of fish tacos and then threw it under the bus with a chocolate orange martini. It is what it is.

Tonight the family gathered around our dining room table for a celebratory dinner, and it is these moments I am always most grateful for.

And may I say… this grandmother chapter of my life… and I have had several friends concur regarding theirs too… is truly the best chapter in some ways, just truly such a joy💗 .

Saw this next image on Facebook and honestly… do I have to say anything at all here? Well maybe just… ugh, ugh ugh ugh ugh. I’ll continue to pray for us all.

Some spring inspiration for this St. Patricks Day….

Till soon –

Two steps forward

9 days after surgery and I am feeling so much better. The healing is going well and I feel human again. This came across my facebook feed this morning and I think it’s one of those vital thought processes if you’re dealt something hard – And aren’t we all at one point or another, in this one precious life we are given.

Not a day goes by that I am not grateful for the close proximity we have to our family – with both kids and their spouses and children in their own homes here on the farm and our mothers still alive and living just up the road a bit, these are gifts I don’t take for granted.

Watching the news, sometimes it feels so hopeless and helpless, being witness to all the problems and the rages and the total dysfunction of our governing bodies. That sink hole keeps getting bigger, the divide wider, and for sure I do not have the answers. Not being able to trust the information sources, talk about erosion! So…. more and more, I tune it out. Which also feels irresponsible. But I have found, when you are helpful in your own circle of life, within your community, your family, friends, your areas of interest, it renews one’s faith in the absolute beauty of life, and there is still so much of it. It restores some of that withering faith in humanity, for there is still an awful lot of good out there. We’ve all heard this simple phrase – Look For The Good.

A nice bunch of roses for $7.99 at the local grocery store… Buy yourself the flowers, you deserve it! When the price is good, I do it. Always remember to snip the bottoms off when you bring them home and put them in water. Helps keep them fresh longer. And, if it’s tulips you’ve got – put two pennies in their water, they last longer.

A worthy recipe…

French Onion Mac & Cheese

Ingredients

6 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 Spanish onion, thinly sliced
kosher salt
8 ounces cavatappi or other small cut pasta
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 12oz can evaporated milk
1 cup whole milk
4 ounces gruyere cheese, freshly grated
6 ounces swiss cheese, freshly grated
2 ounces parmesan cheese, freshly grated
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 375ºF. Butter an 8×8 inch baking dish.
In a large skillet, melt 2 tablespoons of the butter over medium-low heat. Add the onions with a pinch of salt and cook, stirring occasionally, until they are golden and reduced, about 40 minutes.
Bring a pot of salted water to a boil and cook the pasta according to the directions. Drain and set aside.
In the same pot you used to cook the pasta, melt the remaining 4 tablespoons butter over medium-high heat. Add the flour, whisking until combined to create a roux. Cook for 1 to 2 minutes until it’s golden and smooth. Slowly pour in the milk, whisking constantly, about 5 minutes. Slowly pour in the evaporated milk and whisk until thickened. Reduce the heat to low and add the gruyere and swiss and all but a couple tablespoons of the parmesan. Stir until all of the cheese is melted. Stir in the nutmeg, mustard and salt and pepper to taste. Stir in the cooked pasta and the onions.
Transfer the mixture to the buttered baking dish and top with remaining parmesan. Bake until the top is golden brown, about 25 minutes. Cool for a few minutes before serving.

Till soon,