Category: Life

Summer’s End

I cannot believe how fast this summer has flown by, are you all feeling the same?

Summer is my favorite season, although as I’ve grown older I have  developed a real love for the treasures of each of the four.  When I was a young girl I dreamed of someday living in the land of endless Summer – for me that was Florida.  As an older adult that goal has shifted – I feel sorry for those who never know the golden light cast on a cool autumn morning as orange, red and yellow leaves swirl about your feet.  The crunch of snow under boots and the sparkle of sunlight on snow on a January day. The song in the heart when the first crocus unfurls from the thawing earth with the promise of Spring.

I’ve been letting myself get all crazy with the freak show that is our current governing body, praying with everything I’ve got that those who still support The Orange Scream will see all the damage he’s inflicting on our integrity, our relationships with allies, our natural resources, the protections from abuse of animals, truth in general…. I’m just too weary of soul to continue with this list.  It’s dumbfounding, the support – just WTF is happening to this country?   So because of the fret over this menace in the White House, in this greed and cruelty gone rampant, the fibromyalgia in my body  has done the same.  I need to walk away from it, but that also feels irresponsible to me… we need to bear witness to the destruction so we can perhaps recognize and assist whatever will be the catalyst to get us the hell out of this mess.

Below is a picture of my ancient Dane, Ben, right now as I type, sharing his bed with Frasier.  They weren’t friends, ever, but now as Ben struggles with the simplest tasks in old age, Frasier has stepped up ❤️. As I am discouraged daily watching humans become more bold with their darker side, I am continuously reminded of the simple Grace of the animals. We still have things to learn from those we consider lesser beings.

I think it’s safe to assume I am now in the Autumn of my life – 54 is middle-middle aged, right?  The lines on my face and the ache in my body tells me so.     Until recently I had an inherent belief that the country I lived in, for the most part, was made up of people who believed we are all equal, that despite our differences, we were one nation, whether under a God or not.  I truly believed greed and racism and hatred for anything that isn’t what we think we are, was dying out.   Or at the very least, not -winning-.     So.. much.. winning.   What I fear most for our country, this land that I love, is that we are in the autumn of our decency, our respect for each other, and others beyond.  This earth is dying slowly, and we’re killing it daily, now untethered, unrestrained because Greed has been given the green light, the hate that flows in the veins of so many has been given permission to flow freely.  Division seems to be the goal, unity be damned.  These are not my assumptions, just listen to the message being sold. And so many are buying it.

I’m going to continue to try like hell to  maintain a little of Summer, even in the darkest nights of Winter, because without hope for the future, we are a lost cause, all of us. We will kill ourselves out in the end if we don’t wake up, if we don’t work hard to save  the gifts we were given from the very start.   Here’s to a return of Summer to the psyche of we, the people of this earth so that we may thrive in harmony, our samenesses and our differences alike.

 

 

 

 

Cape Wonder

I am in love with the house nextdoor! ❤  It just so happens to be the home my husband is building for our daughter and her guy.

When we first bought This Old House and the land around it, we knew there was potential for a few building lots, if the kids decided when they were grown that they’d like to settle in this area.   We are very fortunate to be in the business of building houses, so we can help them do this.  We’re also lucky they don’t mind living near mom and dad.  We’ve made the promise  that we’ll respect privacy so no one feels like the ‘rents are breathing down their neck.   A stand of trees planted in the field between us helps too.

We found a home plan on the internet that’s style is in keeping with the other 200 year old homes in this area, including Grace (our restored home).   The size is perfect, too –  we did some tweaking to the plan and the finished home will have a nice big kitchen and  open family room layout with master bedroom and bath on first floor, an office room which they both need for their jobs, a second half bath mud/laundry room and attached rear garage.  Upstairs, which for now will remain unfinished to keep mortgage and taxes down, has the potential and is rough framed for two bedrooms and two baths, should children come along or they want the additional space down the road.  There is also potential for a bonus room over the garage,  rough framed for now.  It’s a fantastic layout for a retired/empty nester person or couple as well.

Some light fixtures we’ve ordered ….

Their condo is sold and the closing is in a week, so they’ll be moving into Stella by the Sea for the remaining four weeks it will take to complete their home.

 

Do I even comment on the hundreds of atrocities in the news?  How about I just post this…

 

 

Ambrosia

I may do a lot of communicating my views on social media, but I don’t often get too personal regarding whatever my life struggles. Believe it or not, I usually view that as a weakness and I’m not a cryer. This morning I woke with a song in my head and then tears in my eyes, and neither is a normal occurrence. With my hearing loss I lost music as well as language identification.  The the biggest tragedy for me with this handicap? – no music. But the song is an oldie and because of my love for music and my participation in bands in my younger years I remember every inflection, every cymbal, every trill, every beat, every note of most of the songs we all loved in our youth. So this song this morning – Ambrosia – You’re the Only Woman. I wondered why it’s making me tear up now, what heart string is it strumming so deeply that it’s bringing me to tears … and then I realize what this release is and how those words apply …and now I can’t stop the flood.

I am so horrified and heartbroken at all this hate I’m seeing on the news, on social media, even from some of the people I know well – our country is in real turmoil and it’s coming from all angles and all walks of life. I might some day go for that operation that could restore some hearing and perhaps some music in my life… ..and I hope and pray every single day this world finds it’s way back together in some form of peace we can all live with.  As with that operation , the fix might be painful and there are some risks, results not guaranteed, might have to step out of our comfort zone, but isn’t it worth it? Aren’t we worth it? How comfortable is what we have right now for any of us??

This is a beautiful world we live in and I  see it more acutely now that I can no longer hear it. I want to take every one of you in my arms and heal these wounds for all. I’ll pray that we all wake up and smell the coffee, see the value in loving and respecting each other and truly hear the music, inside ourselves and outside in the world … despite our differences. We are so lucky to live here, we should all love this place with all it’s flaws, and fix them. I just want us all to realize that, and to find the path that leads us to loving and respecting each other for whatever time we each have here on this earth..

When the pain of love surrounds you 
And the world may be unkind
I’ll put my lovin’ arms around you 
Take you far from this place and time

Because you and I been in love too long 
To worry ’bout tomorrow 
Here’s a place where we both belong….……………………..

Heavy and Light

New England just experienced an awful heatwave, just like much of the country.  We spent part of it at a week-long  horse show. When the temps hit 100 we opted to give ourselves and more importantly our horse a much needed reprieve from the heat.

I must confess I am conflicted about our involvement in horse showing.  In any sport that involves animals, there is some cruelty in the mix. If you’re an animal lover as I and my daughter are, there is no denying it.  My experience is in the quarter horse industry, but the abuses are present in all disciplines.  I cringe when I see folks celebrating a Kentucky Derby race – if you’re truly aware of what is involved in the horse racing industry, I don’t know how the conscience allows the support of it.  What I can say, and what let’s me support my daughter’s involvement in showing, is we are surrounded by people who genuinely give a damn about their horse. Our show barn family are a decent, caring lot, for the horses in their care, and toward each other.

I’m pretty certain if there is a God, when the time comes, he or she will swing the gates wide open for horse show moms, no questions asked. …..Practice, patience, practice, patience, dirt, heat, cold, rain, laughs, tears, cheers, Dirt, more dirt, and  a few curse words sprinkled in….

Speaking of K – the home we are building next door is coming along beautifully. Because this is what we do for a living, it’s truly a family affair – my husband and son are building it, a labor of love for our daughter and her guy.  That makes it extra special for K, who  has been saving her money responsibly since she was a waitress at a retirement community in HS, and the past ten years as a secretary at a Bank.  She is now seeing the rewards of hard work and thrilled to see it unfold.   And so are we – truly feeling so blessed to be able to help her achieve this monumental goal of her own home with her partner in life.

 

We’ve been enjoying a little relaxation time at the cottage, where the gardens including the tomatoes are insanely happy, despite our doing not one thing to encourage it. Go figure.  I’m thinking it must be the sea air…

It’s not often I get him to sit and relax for 15 minutes.  I think on this day it may have been 20.

Here on the farm, my vegetable garden is anemic despite my efforts in the fertilization and watering department. I have no idea why.  We’re getting small amounts of produce, but nothing like past years yield.  The flowers, however, are prolific.

Regarding our country and it’s current “climate” – Whether we like it or not, the mobs chanting : send her back, send her back, send her back, are our fellow Americans.  The current P0TUS is nothing more than a ringleader of hate. I never thought I’d see anything like this in America.

And if you’re still condoning this level of hatred, I have no use for what’s in your heart. I am so done with any defense of that assh0le. It’s an American Tragedy on several levels, some of it has nothing to do with politics. Hate and division destroys nations. Wake. the Fuck. Up.

– heartbroken

 

 

Happy Birthday, America!

Happy Birthday, America! I’m going to take the liberty of wishing on your birthday candles – My wish is that all Americans will recognize how lucky we are to live in this country, that despite the flaws, we should all have pride for all that we are privileged to enjoy because of the courage and many sacrifices made by those who came before us and those who stand up for us today. It is not any one person who holds office or their slants that represent what this country is made of, we are the thread. Let us weave a stronger fabric, let us learn from past mistakes and find a way to come together to fix the ills of our society, revel in our successes, lift each other and those who need lifting, TOGETHER. 🎂🎊🇺🇸

Please Pass the Torch

Bernie Sanders needs to get off the stage- I don’t know how some democrats are missing the clear message that swinging too far left isn’t realistic and the middle class is fed up with the huge burden of overtaxation and will certainly not vote for an increase.

I liked him, then … but now is too late, Biden needs to pass the torch. Better yet, we need to light a new torch in politics all together. All across the board. Too bad no one in the Republican Party will challenge Trump.

Right now the field is wide open with plenty of players – Kamala Harris, Pete Buttejieg, – there’s common sense truthful politics and the kind of life experience brought to the table that can benefit us all, devoid of the prejudices of the past, which will sadly weigh down others like Warren.

     That’s my two cents.

On the homefront… K & D’s house begins to take shape… framing has begun!  Last night the Mr. and I walked the foundation and imagined the rooms, enjoyed the warm setting sun over the hill and how the light will play on their homestead.

And Speaking of K… she has recently joined our family business full time in the office and we’re so proud of her accomplishments and hard work.  Long time readers of my blog might remember her story – she is a car accident/brain injury survivor who has done the really hard work of getting her life back through years of determination through rehabilitative work, mostly of her own power and resilience.

You see that little pink unicorn on the desktop?   It used to sit on my desk – but I felt K needed a little mascot in her new position.  After all, I now have three dragons in the space that little pink guy used to occupy.  We could all use a little magic, a little whimsy, don’t you think?

You Go, Girl ❤

Pretty in Pink

We woke up yesterday morning to a  soft rosy glow blanketing just about everything.  It had rained during the night and the rising sun was trying to burn through the mist, and most plants in bloom in my gardens right now are pinkish.  It was just so peaceful.

See the rainbow?

We’ve just returned from a four day horseshow – and if that sounds like fun, well it is sometimes.  And it’s also a whole heck of a lot of work, dirty Heavy Sweaty work.  At one point the wind was kicking dust around so bad, we were all covered in about five pounds of dirt/dust/sand after a half hour practice.  When I got into the shower that night, I swear the dirt ringing around the drain could have potted a plant.

K and Miss Leah had some real competition, they made some mistakes and they had some triumphs.   This little horse is just a wonderful guide – she’s patient and calm, the perfect match for K.  In turn, K takes great care with her and is gentle even in her riding style.  It’s great to watch them develop real teamwork.

We’ve met some wonderful people too – competitors helping each other, consoling each other, laughing together. In this sometimes ugly world,  being even a small part of that camaraderie is like a balm for the soul.   If you are as weary as I am of all the crap out there, I recommend you seek  out that camaraderie and nurture it, whatever your interests.

We’ve got the foundation poured for K’s house next door – it’s getting real now!  That’s our home in the background, just a hop, skip and jump.

I hope all is well in your world – and thank you so much for the kind words regarding Ben –    …….. Till soon

 

 

Gentle Ben

 

You know those really fun pictures that are shared sometimes … the little boy with the puppy..  accompanied by the next photo of the  grown young man with the very same now-ancient dog?

 

Well let me tall ya,  It ain’t so fun when it’s not just the dog who’s gotten OLD.  BOY,  what a difference 10 years makes.  *sigh.

About dear Ben, our 11 year old Dane – according to the Vet, he’s ancient for a dog of his size. He used to be 190-ish on a chubby day, now around 150 with atrophy and a more careful diet.  His heart is crapping out, but five pills a day are keeping it ticking for now. The hind end, though.. is what is betraying him mightily.  We’ve built a ramp for him to use to get up into the house from the side porch steps and he spends more time sleeping than anything else.  The vet assures us he’s not in pain, just extremely weak in the hind end due to some sort of failing nerve and muscle situation that is common in the large breed dogs in older age.  He explained it well, but my half-assed hearing didn’t catch most of it and I didn’t want him to have to repeat himself.

PS… You can’t go into a bathroom up here in this old house without expecting you’ll have an audience when you come out, wondering what you were doing in there and why weren’t they invited?!   This was the scene in front of the master bath after my shower this morning.

On occasion Ben looks like he’s ready to hang it up, and we all gather round with heavy hearts and tear streaked faces pondering what we should do next.  And then he perks up again and we say… Not Today.  

We take each day as it comes, and the vet says we’ll just know when it’s his time to leave us.  So hard to watch them deteriorate, and then to lose these members of our family,  well…most of you know the woe.  The love and companionship they provide is immeasurable, and the heartache equally so.  I can’t imagine my life without my animals in it, though, so it’s a price I’ll continue to pay for the bonds we share.

 

We’ve got a horse show in Massachusetts for the next four days – thankfully the weather won’t be GodAwful hot or freezing rain.  In closing, here’s a drink recipe  that looks particularly scrumptious that I plan to make on a cottage day this summer.

 

Coconut Cream and Lime Margarita  

 Ingredients 

  • Kosher salt, grated lime zest and sugar for rimming glass  
  • 2 lime wedges 
  • 2 oz. (60 ml) coconut cream or cream of coconut  
  • 1 1/2 oz (45 ml) blanco tequila  
  • 1 oz. (30 ml) fresh lime juice 
  • 1/2 oz. (15 ml) Cointreau  
  • 1/4 oz. (7 ml) simple syrup

Directions

1. On a small plate, combine equal parts salt, lime zest and sugar and spread in an even layer. Gently rub 1 of the lime wedges around the rim of a rocks glass. Holding the base of the glass, dip the rim into the salt mixture. Place in the refrigerator until ready to use.  

 2. Just before serving, fill the glass with ice. In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, combine the coconut cream, tequila, lime juice, Cointreau and simple syrup. Cover, shake vigorously and strain into the ice-filled glass. Garnish with the remaining lime wedge. Serves 1. 

Daily Grind

Through my life’s journey my daily grind  has varied greatly – the early years consisted of giving pony and cart rides at the zoo,  waitressing at a jewish synagogue  catering hall , scrapping soap at a factory and loading customers trucks with feed sacks, shavings bags and bales of hay while attending college locally. Then I sat at a desk managing real estate papers in a law firm, and for a while I had a windowless office in the export division of a large company that shall not be named. The windowless thing was torturous for this outdoors loving girl. When my kids were older I had an artisan shop with a partner for a few years and that was a big learning experience as well as a lot of fun and creativity.   All those jobs had some good qualities and I learned valuable skills, worked with good people.    Nothing was more fulfilling than my stay-at-home-mom years, though, and with this empty nest we now live in,  I’ve pondered going back to work in some capacity full time.  With a hearing impairment, my options are limited.

Truth be told, I’m finding this mostly home  part time editorial position nudged in among my farm/home/garden chores suits me just fine.  I’m not longing to go back to a daily grind that is not my manure hauling gator ride to the back field after mucking stalls.  I’m liking my morning commute , sometimes in my Pajama pants, from the porch to the chicken coop to the barn to the garden and back in to clean up and get on with the rest of the day. For a while I toyed with the notion that I might be missing out big time by not pursuing -the next big thing-.  I felt guilty that I had the option to not pursue it.    I believe I’ve decided.. the next big thing is the very thing I’m in the middle of, enjoying at this very moment… and there’s not a darn thing wrong with that.   You know that song by  The Eagles, Don Henley – Learn to be Still -?    I’ve always felt a connection to it, like it was explaining something I needed to figure out.

And you know? I think I’ve  finally figured it out – where I belong is where I am right now, doing what I’m doing,  with the people I love most.   What a glorious feeling, to be grounded and satisfied in the here and now.  I hope you are in that same place wherever your life path has taken you, or are on your way there.

My  GOT Flock (Arya, Sansa, Summer, Snow, Daeynerys, Cersei, Melisandra)  have all been set free into the older flock and all is well. Amazing how fast they grow, isn’t it?  You can tell the new from the old, as the GOT girls are slightly smaller.  The coop yard has gotten a new layer of fresh clean sand, too.

 

 

We’ve begun haying the fields – allergies be damned!    And Damn – they’re awful.  Is it me or is this a bad year for allergy sufferers?

After coop and barn chores were done this morning I ran errands around town and then drove down to Stella to mow her lawn.  That’s where the pollen caught up to me and I’ve felt like a slug ever since.

Every rose has it’s thorn, right?  Small price to pay for a daily grind I love.

Completely different subject to leave you with – have you given a listen to Pete Buttigieg yet?  I am really encouraged by what he has to say.  Gives me hope for this country.

Till soon –

 

 

 

 

Scategories

So much to cover here!  But first, an observation.  I love having my own blog, meaning I truly own it, and it can’t disappear someday when Google decides to get rid of blogger.  The downside is, it appears many friends who used to stop in regularly either haven’t found the space or are no longer interested in reading it.  While it’s never been my goal to accumulate a large number of readers, more a journal for me to keep, I have truly enjoyed getting to know the folks who stop in here.  It sort of feels like some good neighbors have moved away and didn’t keep in touch.

So, we’ve been busy around here!  And… I haven’t paid much attention to the goings on in Washington, it’s been blissful!  Although oddly, it also feels irresponsible, which of course it isn’t.

My daughter K and I were at a horse show for a few days, and she and Miss Leah had a great show!  She grabbed her first Blue Ribbon in Western Pleasure with Leah and two 2nd’s.   At the risk of embarassing her here,  I’m so proud of K for her courage and determination. She shows me every day what it means to tackle and overcome some of the hard things life can throw at you, and these pictures are the proof.

I think they should bring back the Tired Grooms class, just sayin.   That morning I was truly running on Dunkin.

The farm this show was held on is beautiful – looks like it goes on for miles.

We spent Sunday and Monday at the cottage,  had a cookout with family and the weather was glorious! I got my first paddle in around the cove, even brought my co-pilot.

This little “island” community of approximately 140 cottages sits on a 360-ish acre shorefront farm owned by the same family since the 1600’s.  They still farm a portion of that property, and often we are greeted by the cows as we drive down the narrow lane to the waterfront.  These cows also have lush fields not visible in the picture, but they often wander down into the marsh to cool off.

Lilacs here on the farm and on island are just about done, Iris are in full bloom and the poppies are gorgeous –  I need to plant more of those, they are so cheery, uplifting , a real splash of bold color.  My vegetable gardens are planted, too – a tiny one at Stella and two raised beds of a good size in the backyard.  My seedlings looked anemic this year, I’m hoping now that they’re in the ground they’ll flourish. The Phlox are gorgeous!

My Spring Chicks are almost as big as the grown girls – notice the mesh that separates them from the adults – soon they’ll be big enough to incorporate into the flock and I can take down this make-shift nursery, which they are indeed outgrowing rapidly.

 

I mentioned my blog neighbors above, well the best news of all is we’re getting new neighbors right next door.  When we bought this old house and farm and resurrected her,  we also had the idea in our heads that if the children chose to live in this area once they graduated and started their adult lives, they could have a lot on the farm and build a house for themselves if it worked for them.  I’m very very happy to report that both have decided to do just that, and have been saving their hard earned money while living in apartments with their significant others (who we also love.) Yesterday we poured the footings for K’s house foundation – So… once again here on this blog you can follow along on a house build.  She’s chosen a charming cape style house that will blend with the old homes in this neighborhood as if it’s been here for 200 years, just like our “Grace”.  The upstairs will remain unfinished to keep the mortgage down, until they have a need for the two bedrooms and bath that will eventually go upstairs.  The master will be on the first floor.   Stay tuned!

 

Last night we took Mom out for a Birthday celebration Lobster dinner, the food was divine and the laughter around the table priceless.  Happy Birthday, Mom – we all love you very much. May we celebrate many more birthdays together, and may the laughter and love  continue to flow around the table as easily as it did last night.

 

Till soon, friends – thank you for stopping by –