Category: Life

The Lights are on and Everyone’s HOME

When we bought this run down old farm, our goal was to restore it and create a family gathering place for many years to come. With our kids now grown and making their way in the world, tonight I see the bonfire up on the hill with the boy and his cousin and long time friends gathered round the fire once again as they have since their high school days, all college graduates and professionals living near and far. Next door, I see the lights on for the first time, my daughter and her boyfriend’s first night in their new home. I have a husband with vision and tenacity who saw this all through, and I’m grateful for every second of it. ♥

A little tour of the new home…

 

Wishing my daughter and her partner in life many happy years here!

While the new home owners were unpacking, the Mr. and I went down to Stella by the Sea to sit on her now vacant deck once again and enjoy the early fall breezes.   (more like… he enjoyed the breezes and took a nap while I did laundry, picked tomatoes, dusted, vacuumed and  packed away bedding  for the coming winter months.)

I did manage to stick my feet in the water and absorb a little more  Vitamin Sea.

The last of the seaside garden tomatoes… those four plants yielding more fruit than my 10 or so here on the farm – go figure.

I’m too exhausted by all the noise coming out of Washington to dive into it much here…  – Bonfire of the Vanities –  sums it up, new meaning of course.

Apple Slab Pie with Maple Icing – link HERE. 

Till soon –

 

Goodbyes and hellos

 

We laid to rest our dear Dane, Ben.   At 10.5 years of age, (ancient for a Dane) his hind end gave out.  We are lucky to have a very good vet who came to the farm so that there would be no added stress to poor Ben, and he had a peaceful passing.   We miss the big guy, he was a horse in the house and there’s a big hole in our hearts and hearth where he once took up space.  I don’t know that we’ll bring home another giant dog, they don’t live long enough and their decline is so heartbreaking to watch, although that’s true of any living thing.

New England has experienced many  perfect weather days in recent weeks. Fall is unfurling slowly into the morning and evening light, the leaves beginning to change color.  Some Autumns are a dud as far as foliage color depending on weather conditions, and some are just glorious.  We’ve had many Monarch butterflies in the hay fields and in  our Zinnia patch!

We will soon tuck our Stella by the Sea away, as her 2019 season has come to an end.  Closing up a summer cottage is a reluctant good bye, thankfully just a temporary one.

In this glorious month of September, my sister’s youngest son was married on their farm.  The bride and groom were so clearly happy and in love, and the wedding was a fun event – with fall decor and comfort foods and a great DJ who got the crowd dancing, rocking the house all night.  The wedding cake wasn’t a cake at all – it was DONUTS!… a nod, no doubt, to the groom’s profession – a police officer.  Wishing Brian and Kate many many happy years.

My kids, my niece and my other kids……

Mom and sister, Sue

I think my most favorite picture of my mom, ever… in my sister’s Sunflower patch on that day…

On the better health front, I’ve lost 10 lbs of my 25 lb weight loss goal so far, and the rest ain’t gonna come off easy.  Menopause sucks in some ways, this is one of them.  A nutritionist has helped me sort out why I overeat and how I can make changes that are doable for the rest of my life, to keep the weight off.  I’m still tweeking, because Lord I Love To Eat.  And Cook, And Bake.  But… slow and steady wins the race.   This below is a good mantra to keep in your arsenal for making positive change in your life.

In closing,  I’ll give you a sneak peak of our daughter’s new home, right next door to this old house on the farm.  By September 30th, they’ll be in!

Till soon, friends…

 

 

Nine Eleven : Then and Now

 

Written by my mother, Kathleen Amoia  ❤️

Nine Eleven: Then and Now

There we were

Under blue skies
White clouds, clear air,
Surrounded by star sparkled water,
A people and place
Renewed by autumn’s grace.

And there they stood,
Magnificent in their arrogance;
Reaching above their sisters,
Symbols of commerce
And a nation’s invincibility.

And then they came
In their silver bullets,
Crazed martyrs for a regressive world order.
And they plowed into that magnificent arrogance
And brought it down.

Others came
In uniforms, rescue trucks.
On or off duty, there!
Rushing in to save, to put out fires,
Manage the unimaginable.
And they too were brought down.

Then we came,
Grieving and betrayed,
Yet rising to the occasion;
Doing and giving,
Kinder, if not wiser.
Answering the mournful wail of bagpipes,
We bore witness
On endless funeral lines.
And became a better people.

For a while.

Two Weeks Later
This ferry ride was unlike hundreds I’d taken.
Sorrow sat on every bench.
Silence screamed its presence.
No commuters here,
We had all come to bear witness

Zombie-like we left the terminal.
Still no voices, yet an unfamiliar noise
Assaulted our ears:
Huge generators plugged into the
Heart of commerce.
The smell was of wet cement,
The sight, army tents in Battery Park.

Four deep, we walked the washed sidewalks
Toward the epicenter,
Passed windows coated in the
Grey sands of death:
Passed smiling photos of the missing, presumed dead.
In a dust filled shop two Pakistanis (perhaps)
Watched over ruined merchandise,
Their faces masks of despair.

Putting one foot in front of another, we advanced,
Gently prodded by grieving cops.
And then it was there,
An eerie skeleton,
Diminished, off balance, smoking still,
Twisted steel a stand-in for twisted minds.

We heard trucks removing what had been and
No longer was;
Saw ambulances awaiting those
Who would never need them.
Our only comfort
The commonality we saw in each others’ eyes.

Will it be enough ?

Five Years Later

Here we are today:
Awash in opportunities lost
Cynically divided
Called unpatriotic supporters of terrorism
Should we point out the obvious
Led by shallow ideologues and a
Constipated Congress that lacks both spine and statesmanship.

We have allowed:
Form to triumph over substance
Lobbyists to write our laws
Simplistic slogans to influence when
Critical thought was needed
Science to be denigrated
Fundamentalism to hold sway
Fear mongering to win.

The question has become:
Do we have the wisdom or the will
To work for the broader public good
(Assuming we still know what that means)
Take honest stock of the effects
Of capitalism as Holy Grail
Plan a future worthy of the legacy
Of our founders
Participate in our democracy
As the responsibility it is
Call to the fore, by a renewed sense of purpose,
Leaders and statesmen worthy of the titles
Rediscover our commonality
And again, become a better people?

 

Summer’s End

I cannot believe how fast this summer has flown by, are you all feeling the same?

Summer is my favorite season, although as I’ve grown older I have  developed a real love for the treasures of each of the four.  When I was a young girl I dreamed of someday living in the land of endless Summer – for me that was Florida.  As an older adult that goal has shifted – I feel sorry for those who never know the golden light cast on a cool autumn morning as orange, red and yellow leaves swirl about your feet.  The crunch of snow under boots and the sparkle of sunlight on snow on a January day. The song in the heart when the first crocus unfurls from the thawing earth with the promise of Spring.

I’ve been letting myself get all crazy with the freak show that is our current governing body, praying with everything I’ve got that those who still support The Orange Scream will see all the damage he’s inflicting on our integrity, our relationships with allies, our natural resources, the protections from abuse of animals, truth in general…. I’m just too weary of soul to continue with this list.  It’s dumbfounding, the support – just WTF is happening to this country?   So because of the fret over this menace in the White House, in this greed and cruelty gone rampant, the fibromyalgia in my body  has done the same.  I need to walk away from it, but that also feels irresponsible to me… we need to bear witness to the destruction so we can perhaps recognize and assist whatever will be the catalyst to get us the hell out of this mess.

Below is a picture of my ancient Dane, Ben, right now as I type, sharing his bed with Frasier.  They weren’t friends, ever, but now as Ben struggles with the simplest tasks in old age, Frasier has stepped up ❤️. As I am discouraged daily watching humans become more bold with their darker side, I am continuously reminded of the simple Grace of the animals. We still have things to learn from those we consider lesser beings.

I think it’s safe to assume I am now in the Autumn of my life – 54 is middle-middle aged, right?  The lines on my face and the ache in my body tells me so.     Until recently I had an inherent belief that the country I lived in, for the most part, was made up of people who believed we are all equal, that despite our differences, we were one nation, whether under a God or not.  I truly believed greed and racism and hatred for anything that isn’t what we think we are, was dying out.   Or at the very least, not -winning-.     So.. much.. winning.   What I fear most for our country, this land that I love, is that we are in the autumn of our decency, our respect for each other, and others beyond.  This earth is dying slowly, and we’re killing it daily, now untethered, unrestrained because Greed has been given the green light, the hate that flows in the veins of so many has been given permission to flow freely.  Division seems to be the goal, unity be damned.  These are not my assumptions, just listen to the message being sold. And so many are buying it.

I’m going to continue to try like hell to  maintain a little of Summer, even in the darkest nights of Winter, because without hope for the future, we are a lost cause, all of us. We will kill ourselves out in the end if we don’t wake up, if we don’t work hard to save  the gifts we were given from the very start.   Here’s to a return of Summer to the psyche of we, the people of this earth so that we may thrive in harmony, our samenesses and our differences alike.

 

 

 

 

Cape Wonder

I am in love with the house nextdoor! ❤  It just so happens to be the home my husband is building for our daughter and her guy.

When we first bought This Old House and the land around it, we knew there was potential for a few building lots, if the kids decided when they were grown that they’d like to settle in this area.   We are very fortunate to be in the business of building houses, so we can help them do this.  We’re also lucky they don’t mind living near mom and dad.  We’ve made the promise  that we’ll respect privacy so no one feels like the ‘rents are breathing down their neck.   A stand of trees planted in the field between us helps too.

We found a home plan on the internet that’s style is in keeping with the other 200 year old homes in this area, including Grace (our restored home).   The size is perfect, too –  we did some tweaking to the plan and the finished home will have a nice big kitchen and  open family room layout with master bedroom and bath on first floor, an office room which they both need for their jobs, a second half bath mud/laundry room and attached rear garage.  Upstairs, which for now will remain unfinished to keep mortgage and taxes down, has the potential and is rough framed for two bedrooms and two baths, should children come along or they want the additional space down the road.  There is also potential for a bonus room over the garage,  rough framed for now.  It’s a fantastic layout for a retired/empty nester person or couple as well.

Some light fixtures we’ve ordered ….

Their condo is sold and the closing is in a week, so they’ll be moving into Stella by the Sea for the remaining four weeks it will take to complete their home.

 

Do I even comment on the hundreds of atrocities in the news?  How about I just post this…

 

 

Ambrosia

I may do a lot of communicating my views on social media, but I don’t often get too personal regarding whatever my life struggles. Believe it or not, I usually view that as a weakness and I’m not a cryer. This morning I woke with a song in my head and then tears in my eyes, and neither is a normal occurrence. With my hearing loss I lost music as well as language identification.  The the biggest tragedy for me with this handicap? – no music. But the song is an oldie and because of my love for music and my participation in bands in my younger years I remember every inflection, every cymbal, every trill, every beat, every note of most of the songs we all loved in our youth. So this song this morning – Ambrosia – You’re the Only Woman. I wondered why it’s making me tear up now, what heart string is it strumming so deeply that it’s bringing me to tears … and then I realize what this release is and how those words apply …and now I can’t stop the flood.

I am so horrified and heartbroken at all this hate I’m seeing on the news, on social media, even from some of the people I know well – our country is in real turmoil and it’s coming from all angles and all walks of life. I might some day go for that operation that could restore some hearing and perhaps some music in my life… ..and I hope and pray every single day this world finds it’s way back together in some form of peace we can all live with.  As with that operation , the fix might be painful and there are some risks, results not guaranteed, might have to step out of our comfort zone, but isn’t it worth it? Aren’t we worth it? How comfortable is what we have right now for any of us??

This is a beautiful world we live in and I  see it more acutely now that I can no longer hear it. I want to take every one of you in my arms and heal these wounds for all. I’ll pray that we all wake up and smell the coffee, see the value in loving and respecting each other and truly hear the music, inside ourselves and outside in the world … despite our differences. We are so lucky to live here, we should all love this place with all it’s flaws, and fix them. I just want us all to realize that, and to find the path that leads us to loving and respecting each other for whatever time we each have here on this earth..

When the pain of love surrounds you 
And the world may be unkind
I’ll put my lovin’ arms around you 
Take you far from this place and time

Because you and I been in love too long 
To worry ’bout tomorrow 
Here’s a place where we both belong….……………………..

Heavy and Light

New England just experienced an awful heatwave, just like much of the country.  We spent part of it at a week-long  horse show. When the temps hit 100 we opted to give ourselves and more importantly our horse a much needed reprieve from the heat.

I must confess I am conflicted about our involvement in horse showing.  In any sport that involves animals, there is some cruelty in the mix. If you’re an animal lover as I and my daughter are, there is no denying it.  My experience is in the quarter horse industry, but the abuses are present in all disciplines.  I cringe when I see folks celebrating a Kentucky Derby race – if you’re truly aware of what is involved in the horse racing industry, I don’t know how the conscience allows the support of it.  What I can say, and what let’s me support my daughter’s involvement in showing, is we are surrounded by people who genuinely give a damn about their horse. Our show barn family are a decent, caring lot, for the horses in their care, and toward each other.

I’m pretty certain if there is a God, when the time comes, he or she will swing the gates wide open for horse show moms, no questions asked. …..Practice, patience, practice, patience, dirt, heat, cold, rain, laughs, tears, cheers, Dirt, more dirt, and  a few curse words sprinkled in….

Speaking of K – the home we are building next door is coming along beautifully. Because this is what we do for a living, it’s truly a family affair – my husband and son are building it, a labor of love for our daughter and her guy.  That makes it extra special for K, who  has been saving her money responsibly since she was a waitress at a retirement community in HS, and the past ten years as a secretary at a Bank.  She is now seeing the rewards of hard work and thrilled to see it unfold.   And so are we – truly feeling so blessed to be able to help her achieve this monumental goal of her own home with her partner in life.

 

We’ve been enjoying a little relaxation time at the cottage, where the gardens including the tomatoes are insanely happy, despite our doing not one thing to encourage it. Go figure.  I’m thinking it must be the sea air…

It’s not often I get him to sit and relax for 15 minutes.  I think on this day it may have been 20.

Here on the farm, my vegetable garden is anemic despite my efforts in the fertilization and watering department. I have no idea why.  We’re getting small amounts of produce, but nothing like past years yield.  The flowers, however, are prolific.

Regarding our country and it’s current “climate” – Whether we like it or not, the mobs chanting : send her back, send her back, send her back, are our fellow Americans.  The current P0TUS is nothing more than a ringleader of hate. I never thought I’d see anything like this in America.

And if you’re still condoning this level of hatred, I have no use for what’s in your heart. I am so done with any defense of that assh0le. It’s an American Tragedy on several levels, some of it has nothing to do with politics. Hate and division destroys nations. Wake. the Fuck. Up.

– heartbroken

 

 

Happy Birthday, America!

Happy Birthday, America! I’m going to take the liberty of wishing on your birthday candles – My wish is that all Americans will recognize how lucky we are to live in this country, that despite the flaws, we should all have pride for all that we are privileged to enjoy because of the courage and many sacrifices made by those who came before us and those who stand up for us today. It is not any one person who holds office or their slants that represent what this country is made of, we are the thread. Let us weave a stronger fabric, let us learn from past mistakes and find a way to come together to fix the ills of our society, revel in our successes, lift each other and those who need lifting, TOGETHER. 🎂🎊🇺🇸

Please Pass the Torch

Bernie Sanders needs to get off the stage- I don’t know how some democrats are missing the clear message that swinging too far left isn’t realistic and the middle class is fed up with the huge burden of overtaxation and will certainly not vote for an increase.

I liked him, then … but now is too late, Biden needs to pass the torch. Better yet, we need to light a new torch in politics all together. All across the board. Too bad no one in the Republican Party will challenge Trump.

Right now the field is wide open with plenty of players – Kamala Harris, Pete Buttejieg, – there’s common sense truthful politics and the kind of life experience brought to the table that can benefit us all, devoid of the prejudices of the past, which will sadly weigh down others like Warren.

     That’s my two cents.

On the homefront… K & D’s house begins to take shape… framing has begun!  Last night the Mr. and I walked the foundation and imagined the rooms, enjoyed the warm setting sun over the hill and how the light will play on their homestead.

And Speaking of K… she has recently joined our family business full time in the office and we’re so proud of her accomplishments and hard work.  Long time readers of my blog might remember her story – she is a car accident/brain injury survivor who has done the really hard work of getting her life back through years of determination through rehabilitative work, mostly of her own power and resilience.

You see that little pink unicorn on the desktop?   It used to sit on my desk – but I felt K needed a little mascot in her new position.  After all, I now have three dragons in the space that little pink guy used to occupy.  We could all use a little magic, a little whimsy, don’t you think?

You Go, Girl ❤

Pretty in Pink

We woke up yesterday morning to a  soft rosy glow blanketing just about everything.  It had rained during the night and the rising sun was trying to burn through the mist, and most plants in bloom in my gardens right now are pinkish.  It was just so peaceful.

See the rainbow?

We’ve just returned from a four day horseshow – and if that sounds like fun, well it is sometimes.  And it’s also a whole heck of a lot of work, dirty Heavy Sweaty work.  At one point the wind was kicking dust around so bad, we were all covered in about five pounds of dirt/dust/sand after a half hour practice.  When I got into the shower that night, I swear the dirt ringing around the drain could have potted a plant.

K and Miss Leah had some real competition, they made some mistakes and they had some triumphs.   This little horse is just a wonderful guide – she’s patient and calm, the perfect match for K.  In turn, K takes great care with her and is gentle even in her riding style.  It’s great to watch them develop real teamwork.

We’ve met some wonderful people too – competitors helping each other, consoling each other, laughing together. In this sometimes ugly world,  being even a small part of that camaraderie is like a balm for the soul.   If you are as weary as I am of all the crap out there, I recommend you seek  out that camaraderie and nurture it, whatever your interests.

We’ve got the foundation poured for K’s house next door – it’s getting real now!  That’s our home in the background, just a hop, skip and jump.

I hope all is well in your world – and thank you so much for the kind words regarding Ben –    …….. Till soon