…and I’ll share with you some of what’s been tugging at me lately. Those who know me well might have over the years deemed me a bit… oh, shall we say.. restless. I’ve worn many hats and have managed to pursue some interesting and creative endeavors. My jobs outside the home have varied greatly but none are what you would call a bonafide career. I have several talents, but am the master of none. I know all too well what it feels like to be cooped up in a windowless office on a beautiful summer day. And I know the dread of having to meet a deadline… still have those dreams… even the missing homework dreams! I bet you know the ones.
I know what it takes to be a single working mom with a child in daycare, and a stay-at-home mom who’s social life revolves around the grocery store, sticky cheerios, legos, dirty diapers, pooper scoopers and plastic wading pools. I’m intimately familiar with the wonders and woes of owning your own business, of blending well and not so well with another in a partnership. I know the joy of success and the sting of failure.
What I NEVER knew was that all along, no matter what I was doing or not doing… who I was pleasing or not pleasing… as long as I was doing my best, doing what I felt was right, taking care of what needed tending and being kind whenever possible…- being the best me I am capable of being – … It has always been.. ENOUGH. Even now, as I find myself without a specific Job Title or an impressive long career at the age of 47…with no little ones requiring my full attention 24-7 and no clock to punch… I’m not sure what I will be next. And you know.. I think I’m really OK with that.. with all of it.
no apologies, full acceptance.
how can we expect anyone else to believe it?
I wonder the same things myself a lot these days…why couldn't I have been 40 when I was 20 😉 When I was 20-30 I was more interested in pleasing everybody else but myself, trying to make myself what others wanted or needed me to be. Now, at 43, I'm ok with me…even my flaws are a part of me…and I'm ok. I don't really want to be around anybody who can't accept me for me anymore…and it feels so good! 🙂 LOVE the beautiful colors!!!
Great post Karen !!!! Great words also , have a great night!
i loved this post.
Seems to me that you are very accomplished at a whole lot of things…..and you are so right…..let enough be ….enough.
It takes a long time to be comfortable with who you are. You are doing a beautiful job of blooming where you are planted.
I've never been truly satisfied with who I am, or who I am not. I've always felt lacking. The only thing that I thought I wanted, was to be a good mom. As my kids grew up, I began to doubt myself more than when they were little. I can't do it over, so I'm not sure why I agonize over it, but I do.
I LOVE MY WIFE KAREN FOR WHO SHE IS.SHE IS A VERY SPECIAL WOMAN AND WE ALL APRECIATE ALL SHE DOES FOR OUR FAMILY! WHO LOVES YA!
I think hubby said it all.
Well said!
We've had parallel experiences and I think you speak for many of us.
I'm comfortable enough with myself to know that, "I have arrived!" on the other hand, I know I'm still exploring. It's perfect!
Sisters!! It looks like we both get our motivation and reward from inside ourselves … not what others compliment us on. I'm hard on myself, because I know what I am capable of, and I strive most days to live up to my expectations. Falling short most of the time … but trying nonetheless.
What a beautiful post and beautiful pictures! Why does it take us so long to feel comfortable with who we are? I'm still trying to figure it all out!
XO
It takes time to accept who and what we are, doesn't it? It's taken me years to just be who I am. Yes, I've had a career, though I've had plenty of other work experiences along the way. But I have so many other interests that I want to pursue.
I think accepting our true selves is one of the pleasures of growing older.
xo
Claudia
my background sounds like yours….and at 47 myself, i wonder what's in store for me next.
honestly, being a grandmother someday is the job i'm looking most forward to….
i loved the dirty floors, sticky fingers and toys everywhere phase and it went away too quickly.
and i totally love having adult children as they are fun fun fun…..
i guess the day i call myself a photographer and feel like i really mean it, might be what i'm longing for at the moment…..xo
It does take time, and maybe maturity, to get comfortable with us/me/yourself. Be glad it happened! I know soooooo many women that are much older than you that haven't found it and, perhaps, never will.
I've said a million times to myself and anyone who will listen; the day I stop learning is the day I have given up. And that's not happening.
Lovely lovely!
Yay for hubby 🙂
Beautiful post, beautiful pictures.
Seeing ones own worth isn't always what's reflected in the eyes of others but what reflects back to us when we look into our own eyes.
It does take a while to come into our own as we access who we really are, doesn't it? I love all your beautiful garden photos. Happy Wednesday- xo Diana
As I speed thru my life, I have to keep reminding myself that I need to be more in touch with happiness not being the destination – but the journey. Looks like you're getting it!
So well said- it IS too bad it takes us so long to find out we are comfortable in our own skin doing whatever we do. And girl- you do a LOT… a farm and dogs, and horses, and flowers, and well its a long and worthy list- and this is a great reminder to just be 🙂
Enough is a very hard thing for some people. Often it takes a crisis to figure it out, which is sad.
Lovely images from your homestead, Karen. You are such a spring chicken!
I think your sweet husband summed it all up! I am so content in my life right now that I can hardly stand it! Even with all this moving business, I am doing exactly what I need to be doing! Kudos to happy strong women!!!
Such profound thoughts…..and so relatable. I am also 47 years old…..and although I have worked for the same company for 26 years…..I have and often still do feel restless. I have two great kids, however, the older they get….the less I am needed – which makes me proud and sad at the same time. I often feel lost. I usually blame it on hormones. 🙂
I so enjoy your blog…your posts make me smile and for some reason – reading your posts and viewing your pictures makes me feel calm and peaceful. Thank you…
Great post and I am okay with where I am at, too.
Keeping up a daily job is a full time job. I often wonder how u do it all. I think as women we all beat ourselves up too much.
X
C
Words of wisdom, Karen…and at 63 I am still restless, and still on my own journey of self-acceptance. Though I must say I have made progress along the way! You have amazing artistic sensibilities, by the way! Love your photographs!
I've been a lot of those same things that you have been, and now I'm pretty much okay being none of them… just being myself and wishing all women could be comfortable enough with that. Just being themselves. It takes at least half our our life to love who we are… well… except for the extra fat around the waist and hips. LOL I'll never fall in love with that!