One of the toughest things we are asked to do in this life is to “forgive”. It’s wonderful to hear stories of forgiveness, even of some of the most heinous crimes. We are so inspired by the people who have the grace to rise above the evil act to forge ahead without malice or ill will, but when it is asked of us individually, that row can be tough to hoe. Anger and blame are eager to keep a firm grip on our ability to do so…. and don’t ever underestimate it’s power to hold you back from living your best life. Did you know that many studies have shown that one of the keys to a long life and good health is a habit of gratitude and letting go of things that have hurt us instead of holding on to them?
I recently learned something about someone I love that initially really hurt me. Anger and blame… yep, my first reactions. But as I sat with myself and this roiling boil of anger, if I’m being honest I have to remember that the person in question is a good soul in so many ways. The issue itself was not an intentional wound inflicted on my being.. it was a typical thoughtless behavior when one is ‘caught up in the emotion of the moment’. And you know… sometimes you might have contributed to the reasons the offense happened in the first place. I’m not implying that’s always the case, but when it is…it’s hard to admit to oneself that it might be truth.
Then there is the judging which is ooh, so easy to do. Have I been a model human being every step of the past 49 years? Hell no. Have I hurt others, even if it was unintentional? Yep. Most of the time, every fiber of my being wants to avoid -hurting- anything… but somehow I have managed now and again. And there’s that feeling.. you probably know the one… of dragging around that weight of anger…. so damaging to your own self – it’s really just not worth it.
I’m getting better at this forgiveness thing as I get older. And part of that process is forgiving myself for not being 100 percent of what I WANT to be made of 100 percent of the time. We are human, we are imperfect, we all make mistakes. The key is to learn and grow from them. And to forgive when it’s possible, forget if you can… or at the very least.. acknowledge it, because you have to…. and then…. let it go.
One of my favorite places to escape to unwind and throw my wounds to the wind is the ocean.
I swear I was a mermaid in another life.
