In this season of joy and celebration, my thoughts turn to all those people out in California affected by the wildfires. When I think of their current reality – displaced by the fires and their tremendous losses, I am also reminded of those who have nothing to lose – like the homeless. Imagine what these holidays must be like for them as they watch the rest of us bustle around with work parties and errands and shopping and indulgent eating and cheerful family gatherings, etc. etc. Throw in those who have lost or are losing a loved one, suffering debilitating illness whether mental or physical… indeed, the holidays can be anything but joyful for many.
Since my father has being living in a nursing home (assisted living and rehab facility is the more politically correct term) I have seen some pretty sad scenarios. Around the holidays the realities for some residents are stark. Fortunately his facility runs an excellent recreation program – there’s always something upbeat and entertaining going on and all residents are encouraged gently to participate. Surprising to me, my father is one of their best customers. Their decor is beautiful too. Despite these things, there are many residents who are relegated to their bed or wheelchair due to their mental and physical infirmness and they spend day after day sitting in that chair out in the halls or in their room with very little interaction due to their limitations. They don’t receive many visitors, if any, and I wonder if they are aware of how very different their life has become. Would they choose to exist in that state if they could make the decision for themselves? It doesn’t seem kind to let them linger but who am I to decide where the quality is in a life – therein lies the thorn. It weighs heavy on me when I see it, especially when most of the world is in seasonal celebration mode.
I am a natural gift giver, and by that I mean I absolutely *love* buying or making things I know the people I care about will use, need, eat, appreciate or love in whatever the ways. In reading your posts, I know many of you in blog land feel the same. While I realize my good fortune at having the means to do so, this was also true when I was very young – I would make toys out of bits of yarn and twigs for our cat and spread peanut butter and seed over pine cones or “itchy balls” for the birds outside, hanging them high in the hopes that our cat wouldn’t get the birds in their attempts to collect their treats. My sister and I made crafts for relatives with the help of my mom – like macaroni wreaths spray painted gold, ceramics from ceramic class, and handmade cards that I learned recently my now deceased Aunt had kept for all these years.
Most years I have my gift buying and making and wrapping done early – and 2017 is no exception. My daughter’s old room upstairs is currently bedecked with wrapped presents and all the “stuff” one needs to get that job done. I will bring it all down and place it under the tree shortly…and cross my fingers that the new pup won’t eat anything. I’ve caught the (grown) kids peeking in “the Christmas room” a few times when they visit and I love that they still feel a little of the excitement, the wonder that goes along with the spirit of childhood Christmas.
I’ve started my holiday baking… have you? What are your favorites? Mine are my Aunt Virginia’s Sugar Cookies and a sand tart recipe I can’t give out as it’s a family friend’s heirloom recipe that he wishes to keep close. I made the peppermint fudge I shared in the previous post and it is so easy , delicious and it looks pretty on a plate.
We’re expecting snow in the next day or two. Already the skies are grey and heavy. I’m looking forward to the snowfall this year, although I worry about the workload it entails for my guys. It means more work for me up at the barn and coop, too. I feel like the air, the atmosphere, the political climate, the season needs a cleansing. There is so much unrest – A fresh snow fall might do the trick with a little Christmas magic thrown in. The world slows down when there is snow, out of necessity of course, but also within ourselves, do you notice that?
I’ve donated a little cash to each of the incredibly selfless dog rescue folks I know – each of whom have little in the way of material things and give all of what they’ve got to those in need – people and animals. They are among the real heros we encounter in life. I will take the time as I’m blowing through the lobby of the nursing home to stop and chat with those I see in the chairs and I will thank the staff who make their lives a little brighter (more heros). I will thank those who provide services – like the mail guy who tackles his fear of big dogs and puts that package on the woodpile under the porch roof despite the 190 lb. dog staring at him, and the garbage pick up guy who always waves at 5:30 a.m. when I’m letting said 190 lb dog out as he’s emptying pails. I’ve sorted through old clothes and dropped them off at the Salvation Army and donated to food pantries. To the grumpy woman in the grocery check out line I pay a compliment out of the blue (the color of your scarf really brings out the green in your eyes!) and her big smile says enough. Perhaps she’ll pay that compliment forward to someone or maybe whatever’s got her feeling grumpy won’t seem quite so heavy a weight.
Gifts don’t have to accompany a fat wallet. Many of the most important gifts we can give are free or cost very little. A small tin of your grandmother’s vintage recipe cookies is worth more than a cashmere sweater from “Needless Markup”, as is a pleasant conversation, your time spent, talking to someone who is mostly alone.
May we all find peace and love in the varied ways we need it. May we give it, too, in the ways that we can.
