Just so ya know – I typed a whole lot of hateful spew here and then deleted it all. Who needs confirmation of his royal HighnASS’s offenses dujour? It’s getting so I’m afraid to turn on the TV or click on the CNN icon or open my FB page or read my E-MAIL for crying out loud – every single morning I wake up and wonder – what will the offense be today? I’m trying like hell to just ignore it, and yet that feels irresponsible too.
What do you do to divert your attention from things-that-are-driving-you-batshit? Me? I’m taking care of me just a little bit better than I did all winter. (10 extra pounds to prove it… which means I have that damned 20 to lose that I was trying to lose last year. Yeah. That.) Spring has arrived according to the calendar, and in the last few days the temps have begun to rise… as have the crocus!
The dogs and I have been out walking the fields again…
The skies have been so blue….
The horses aren’t quite used to the Spring schedule yet.. This is Max’s – hey, aren’t you supposed to be giving us grain right about now? – look… As the days grow longer, they stay out in pasture longer and aren’t given grain till bedtime, meaning when darkness falls and they’re closed in for the night.
This morning I took a load of bedding and curtains down to the cottage and oh, if I could send you the joy of salty sea air as warm sunshine hits your face as I experienced it today.. I would, my friends, I would.
While soaking it all in, I spied with my little eye….
Can you see it?…..
… a piece of cobalt blue sea glass – a rare treasure around theses parts. Now, if it weren’t such a hard-to-find color, I’d toss it back into the sea for a little more seasoning – but it’s edges are soft and it does have enough scruff to make it a keeper because what are the odds I’d find it again?
When I saw that flicker of blue… that little glass treasure, I felt the Universe was sending me a message …. And that reminded me of something else…
Why I let this get away from me still surprises me. There was a moment years ago now.. when I was sitting outside a hospital on a retaining wall, taking a break from my vigil at my daughters bedside. I was looking up at a window on the 4th floor where all I could see were balloons…. the ones suspended above my daughters bed. I was saying to myself….. How are we here, how did this happen.. look at all these people around me, just going about their day… buying food , God, I can’t even eat…. and they’re LAUGHING… laughing…. while my daughter lies up there with her life hanging in the balance. How do I ever live my life….. And just as important…. IF I ever do get to life my life again, and my daughter is a part of it… please don’t let me forget how precious life is, how grateful I need to be, each and every day, for even the little things.
A funny thing happened on our way to “recovery”. My daughter, through her own trials, found comfort and wisdom in inspirational quotes. Still does. ..and it’s these inspirational quotes that I turn to when I need a reminder. I’ll share them here with you –
Till soon, friends –