I cannot express without sounding a tad ridiculous how very difficult it is for me to “diet”. With the exception of the trauma and recovery of one of my children from a horrific accident years ago, this is the most difficult thing I have ever tried to do. To sound even more ridiculous… it bothers me so much, that if I could wave a magic wand and lose the 25 lbs I need to lose and that weight would stay off for the rest of my life and be able to eat whatever I want regardless… or.. have my hearing restored, I would chose the weight loss. Not even blink an eye, the decision would be easy. Oh yes I know it, that’s undeniably, certifiably….. nuts. But it would absolutely be my choice, given the option.
I started Noom at the beginning of January, and I can tell you it’s a great program for calorie counters, for those who love setting a goal and get excited about meeting that goal each day. It’s similar to WW if you’ve done that too. Been there, done that ! There’s also a great online presence of fellow users of Noom on facebook. Except there are a lot of whiners on that forum, (yep I know I’m currently whining, shush. )
What ultimately happens and in fairly short order for me is… I become resentful of the restriction and then I cheat just a little. And just a little more. And then I don’t log every single thing I eat because it’s just one hershey kiss and it’s just an apple and it’s just a handful of nuts and it’s just a scoop of chocolate ice cream – blah blah blah blah blah. All that adds up, of course, and then the cheating feels awful, and the app become ineffective because I’m not really following the rules and off we go to the races.
I’ve tried the talking to myself approach – Every time I pick up something to east I say to myself… Is this FIGHTING disease or AIDING it? Is this HELPING me lose weight or HELPING ME FAIL ? I’ve looked in the mirror before helping myself to a snack. I’ve gone dairy free for a while, I’ve gone sugar free for a while, I’ve gone processed food free for a while, and reduced meat consumption by a lot. It all helps a little, but ultimately I cave somewhat. Menopause makes it all that much harder.
It’s not about what I’m doing exercise wise – I’m pretty active. As my General practitioner has said to me often, it’s what I’m putting in my mouth. And Jezus H. Christmas, it is soooo hard for me to reduce significantly what I’m putting in my mouth. Such a simple thing, really… and yet.
Food is comfort for me, I love to cook it, bake it, I love to serve it to my family etc., I love growing it, I even love shopping for it. Oh, I am fully aware one can do all those things in moderation and be successful at weight loss…. I just haven’t figured out the combination to that lock yet. I keep spinning the dial hoping to get the numbers to line up just right.
******SIGH…..
Just keeping it real here. And if you are like minded but found what works, please… any tips appreciated.
Here’s a Healthy recipe that looks delish – I’m going to give it a try this weekend.
Sweet Potato & Black Bean Chili
Ingredients
Directions
-
Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add sweet potato and onion and cook, stirring often, until the onion is beginning to soften, about 4 minutes. Add garlic, chili powder, cumin, chipotle and salt and cook, stirring constantly, for 30 seconds. Add water and bring to a simmer. Cover, reduce heat to maintain a gentle simmer and cook until the sweet potato is tender, 10 to 12 minutes.
-
Add beans, tomatoes and lime juice; increase heat to high and return to a simmer, stirring often. Reduce heat and simmer until slightly reduced, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in cilantro.
Tips
Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate for up to 3 days or freeze for up to 3 months.
Note: Chipotle peppers are dried, smoked jalapeño peppers. Ground chipotle chile pepper can be found in the spice section of most supermarkets or online at penzeys.com.
Karen
I used phone app LoseIt! 2 years ago. Lost 20 lbs. Gave it up when a series of losses knocked me to my knees. Started back up in December. Actually lost weight over Christmas and a grueling trip to Disney World.
It’s counting calories. I like to stay 200 or so below my daily limit. My son list 50 lbs when he had an AFib episode and was told lose weight or else. He walks 3 miles a day now. Try it. Free nothing to lose but lbs.
25 lbs.?!?! Based on the photo in the last post, you look fine, certainly not 25 lbs. overweight.
The podcast Hidden Brain recently had an insightful episode called “Creatures of Habit,” and has interviews with various psychologists about the ways we can sabotage our efforts to change.
I was thinking about this during a Pilates session with a bunch of enviably trim French women of various ages. They mostly want to lose weight. But they don’t NEED to lose weight. It’s vanity, not a health situation. How do they stay slim? By constantly being reasonable. They all swear they don’t snack. Already, snacking is viewed very negatively here, except for elementary age or younger kids. No eating in public, except in a restaurant, at a table. Walking down the street and noshing is considered gauche. So already they take the time to eat correctly, and they have similar rules around what goes on their plates (well-balanced), and they have rules about when and where to eat. They tell me they never take seconds (I eat very healthy but definitely fall down on seconds–my biggest problem is quantity). They will drink one glass of wine but not two, and usually only on the weekends. They will have dessert but usually only on weekends and usually shared with their husband. In other words, nothing is off limits, they don’t count calories, but with all these other rules they manage their weight by not going overboard on quantity. Obviously there are exceptions–some women are more zaftig, they like to eat, they like sweets, etc. But believe me that there is societal pressure to obey the rules, which helps a lot.
Anyway, the podcast talks about setting up your life so good habits take hold and bad habits become more difficult to keep up. I am trying some of the tips, and so far so good. Down 1 kg.
PS: Menopause… A younger woman at Pilates has a FitBit and so do I. We have the same height and weight. I can do 10K steps and not crack 2K calories in a day; she burns way more. The algorithm that guesses at our calorie burn is taking into account how much my metabolism has slowed because of age/menopause. Bummer!!!
Oh, I think that photo is deceiving. In person, you’d see the 25 lbs clearly. It’s pudge. More around the middle than anywhere else. The proverbial spare tire. Bleh.
Karen, you definitely don’t look as if you need to lose. However, have you ever tried the low carbohydrate deal. I first learned about that from my dad. He’d eat whatever until basketball season came around; then he’d cut carbs. It’s the only thing that has ever worked for me (and, I need to be doing that now). The first time I tried it, I didn’t eat enough carbs and starting feel very shaky.
I weigh more now, and can really feel it in my clothes. So, maybe when I come back from W. FL I’ll try it again. Over there, no way Jose’ – they cook sooooo good.
Weight Watchers – I went one meaning only one time. LOL
xoxo
Low carb definitely works. My high drive to eat them regardless is the fail.
oh I hear you dear I hear you…lets not even discuss med issues with weight. sigh – a battle I am losing every day, and I count everything and stay within 1200-1500 a day and I can still gain, as I am so limited in mobility compared to how I lived for years. Luckily I have DRs who says it is not just THIS or THAT but a combination of factors specific to you and you alone. I have had friends who could eat ten tiems what I ate and never exercise beyond raising a glass of wine and never gain a pound. Now either they were secretly bulimic or they had miracle metabolism. Sooo, you look fabulous and I would think that even if I didn’t know and like you 😀 – and if your current wardrobe fits, you and loved ones are healthy and your family loves you, perhaps that will have to do. But no harm in eating healthy and being active and enjoying your life. Things can turn on a dime as you know 😀
Don’t those people just suck??… LOL… but your advice is spot on, my friend.
changing our eating habits is a mindset. it is all about the habits and changing the bad to the good. it has to click in our heads that we are going to do it, not matter what. I chose the give up the food I could not handle, which is sugar. I gave up sugar January 26, 2017 and have had nothing sweet since that day. I also gave up white flour, but not 100 percent. if I ever eat a cookie or anything sweet, the 65 pounds will leap back. most people have a trigger food, one that sets them off. find that food and make a decision to give it up. that works for me but no one wants to do it. a few of my friends lose by cutting portions. but there again. mindset to change how we eat. what Taste of France says they do over there is the best way to do it.
I’m listening, I do appreciate the tips. I think giving up sugar would be very good for me. I’m having the hardest time doing that, and I have no one to blame buy myself.
You’re preaching to the choir, sister! I took about a year and a half managed to lose between 25 and 30 pounds (depending…) and it is NOT easy. It really is all about food, or bottom line, calories in and calories out. You don’t have to exercise at all and you can still lose weight if you reduce your calories. As someone who has zero will power, I just had to not have it in the house. I’ve been known to eat the chocolate chips out of the baking drawer because I needed something sweet (heck, I’ve eat the butterscotch chips and they’re pretty awful). For what it’s worth, I used the My Fitness Pal app (the free one – didn’t even pay for premium). Again, this isn’t easy – you’ll have good days and bad – you’ll find yourself obsessing over food, thinking about food, being mad about food. Throw being 50 plus years in there and you’ll think you’re fighting a losing battle, but it CAN be done. More power to you! -Jenn
Well.. you did it, exactly what I’m trying to do.. so, perhaps I should purge the crap I always have in this house – right now there are chocolate chip cookies on the kitchen island that I made yesterday and a Lime pound cake the day before. Uuuuuuuuugh. They are made for my family coming and going, but they are a horrible temptation.
Well, I agree with the above……I think you look fine…..if you’re trying to weigh what you did in high school, you should forget it. I think you should concentrate on being healthy, and I think you should love yourself the way you are. I lost 30 lbs last year on WW, and have gained 10 back….so now I am trying once again to eat “consciously” but it is hard. I, too, love to bake and cook, and eat. I believe, like in everything else, BALANCE is the key. Eat the cake, then next meal, have the salad. Try not to be so hard on yourself.
No, believe it or not I weighed 115 in high School. I just want to weigh 130. For my height, that’s reasonable. (5’4) And I think I’d feel better physically if I could cut out the sugar all together. Your advice is spot on, Hilary, as always.
I know you are active, you can work circles around me! But you may need a little ore activity. The only thing that ever worked for me, was after working 8-10 hours at my factory job, I would walk 1 to 2 miles a day, every day, rain or snow or heat of day. I started with a quarter mile and worked myself up to 2 miles. Every other telephone pole I would do a little jog. In 4 months, I walked almost 70 pounds off. When they say the weight melted off, it literally melted off. I would get home and be so fagged, that I didn’t even want to look at that cookie or dish of ice cream.
I kept the weight off for several years, thru fibroids, uterine cancer surgery, carpel tunnel surgery, even ganglion cyst removal surgery of my right knee. I would try the treadmill at times, but there is no comparison to breathing in fresh air and getting pelted with ice crystals, I loved it!
What stopped me was bone on bone in both knees. They are both replaced now…yippee! But, the right hip started it’s screaming so I had that replaced. (much easier to replace than the knees! My ortho said that hip replacement is toughest on the doctor because he has to lift and swing that big old leg around…lol!)) The not so good thing? One of my legs is longer than the other and my gait is off so I use a cane for long distance…but I really don’t want to walk with a cane (and look like an old lady!) so I am not getting in my walking and the weight is rolling back on.
The plan now is to get my ass back on the treadmill but I find it soooo boring. Mind over matter I guess!
Good luck on your struggle, it’s real and you are not alone. I personally think you look great but we are our own worst critic, aren’t we?
hugs to you woman – when the joints wear out it really is challenging
YES!!.. That, too… thankfully my joints are holding up but the fibro makes the muscles very cranky. Ah well – onward, right? 😕
Cheryl – Thank you for the kind words, and I am wishing you the best in your continued good health goals! You’ve been through alot! Kudos to your continued efforts – Onward!
Good lord can I relate!
I lost 30 pounds under a doctor’s program of low sugar/low carbs but hit a wall when I still have another 30-40 to go.
I struggle with portion control, lack of time to adequately meal plan/cook and a love of eating.
Right now I am working to maintain the progress and will try to get back on the program in the spring.
It sucks and is hard!
BTW, I wish I was your size 🙂
Well you’ve done a great job – 3o lbs. is nothing to shake a stick at! Keep up the great work toward your best health goals 🙂
Lots of advice here! I struggle, you struggle, others are just physiologically thin, some women are gym rats, others weigh their food. That’s not to say that we can’t make goals or try to change our bodies, I just can’t stand trying one more diet, sweating it out at a gym, walking 3 miles a day…whatever everyone is recommending or doing, and I never seeing a change. I’ve actually said, “Screw it all!”, eaten a patty melt and ice cream for dessert, and the next day weighed myself to find I lost three pounds. It’s the way of the world.
I hope you lose that 25 pounds because it sounds like you really want to. I’ve lost before and it’s such a good feeling, physically, mentally, just full on joy and confidence. But I’ve also learned not to fret when it’s not happening. For the time being!
Thanks always for your candidness. 😘
Jane
Jane, I think we are very similar!! I do really want to lose the weight, and I do really want the patty melt and the ice cream sundae!!!…………………………
*sigh
Hello,
It is hard to believe you need to loose any weight, your photo looks great. I have cut out soda, even diet soda. Smaller portions of everything and just walking. I feel like I have been on a diet since my teens, dieting is hard. Good luck! Enjoy your day, have a great weekend ahead!
Those are excellent habits to take on – soda is bad for all of us. I hope you’re having a good weekend too 🙂
I want to ask all of Karen’s followers to join me in encouraging her to enter her photos in some of the venues available to her where we live, our town library being the first. The blackbirds on the ice coated branches is just one of her great shots. You’ve all seen many others on her blog. The answer she always gives me is “Oh mom, anyone can do that.” I haven’t met that Anyone yet.
I am afraid that weight problem and just eating one more that becomes six more is inherited from me. Karen’s father could care less about food and has always been thin. But Karen, I would magically give you your hearing back before I”d give a fig about the weight. mom
Love you, MOM. xo
I had more to say yesterday, but had to take a phone call before I was done with my comment. you look to me to be the perfect size. When you are the size for you age and height, it is very hard to lose. did you ask your doctor what you should weigh? I asked mine and she said since I have been at the weight I am now for 1 year and 5 months and holding, that my body says it is where I should be.. that is what I did not say yesterday, maybe you are where you should be.. you look great to me and you are active which is the most important part. good luck, keep up the fight against cookies
Thank you for your kindness, and yes, my doctor, who has known me for a long time, thinks I should lose at least 15 lbs. But 30 would be awesome.. LOL.
You are telling my life story. I’ve done them all. I’ve seen photos of you and I’d be inclined to agree with the others who have commented on that above. I heard the same Hidden Brain that Taste of France did. It’s pretty interesting.
I made it through the holidays with no gain, so that’s good. The losing is another thing altogether.
Congrats on the no-holiday-gain!! I can’t say the same. I had good intentions… sigh.
My advice to you is to “just” start loving what you look like. You certainly are not OBESE!!!! You see 100 – I mean 25 lol – pounds and everyone else sees a beautiful woman. PERIOD. Food fads/strict clean eating clearly don’t work for you mentally and that’s truly the only way to get that weight off but keeping it off? I’m thinking it’s your mindset. Stop working on losing and start working on accepting. Put your energy there instead of into the beating up mode. Accept where you are. You look great in clothes. Summer swimwear? It’s only a few times/summer. I know you’re like — yea yea yea BUT BUT BUT. No but. Love your strong body. Accept it. If you continue to torture yourself, where’s the quality of life? Always beating yourself up. Always criticizing your looks. It’s counter productive. IT’S EXHAUSTING! And let’s face it – no one’s looking at US anymore! LOL!! We are the only ones who see ourselves as unattractive. Eat the cake! Enjoy the journey. Now if it’s a health issue? That’s a whole n’other ballgame. A whole other conversation. But be honest. Is it how you feel about the way you look or is it a health issue? I say it’s about how you look. Everyone in our age group (give or take 10 years) has SOMETHING going on. And it’s been proven time after time that food is the answer to eliminating inflammation that creates health issues. If that’s not motivation enough than live with your choices and enjoy them along the way. No sense in making those choices and then beating yourself up but not following thru on it. Life’s too short. This comment is made with love…
Joey, you always know what to say. And because I have thankfully minor health issues BUT they are ones I could improve with a better diet… I REALLY REALLY NEED TO FIGURE THIS OUT. Thank you for your kind words. You’re spot on, as always. Love you –
If you can figure out a way to get those pounds off easily, let’s patent the process and get rich, okay? Story of my life.
LOLOL… Deal!
I have to agree with a couple of other commenters – you look perfect! I was in Georgia with one of my sister-in-laws (I have five!!) visiting and we were outside on the patio talking about body image and how we feel. I’ve known this woman for 15 years and she has a super cute figure. Probably a size 6 or 8 at probably 5’7″ or so? She confessed that she has always felt fat because she doesn’t weigh the same as she did when she was 18 or so. WAH? She has a delightful figure.
Although I do know that what makes us happy makes us happy. End of story. I am so chubby now I’m sad sad sad dad! I was in the emergency room in Vegas (long, hilarious, and tmi story) and my blood pressure in the ambulance was crazy high. So now I’m on medication (just started) and the doc said flat out, “yeah, it might be time for a few life-style changes.” I’m in there with you girl! I know what to do, but I never seem to do it. I’m right here in your corner.
The damned blood pressure is an issue for me too… hence part of why I want to get this extra weight off. It might help, I hate the meds! Bleh! And you know I’m curious about that story.