Normal, uneventful, ordinary

   I had a conversation with another mom today that brought powerful emotions bubbling to the surface.  There was a time when those emotions were strong enough to bring me to my knees and make me beg for Mercy… from anywhere I could get it.   This mom and her family are in the middle of a long road to recovery for their son, who suffered a serious brain injury.  It’s a road I’ve traveled, and so we commiserated and fretted together, spoke of the horrors and the baby steps toward sanity once “the chances of survival” improved.  Weeks of this.   Months.  Uncertainty throughout.  Two steps forward, one step back.  Time will tell, is all they can give you.   
   There are many of you who know this agony either through illness, accident, loss of a loved one,  mental illness, addiction, abuse, whatever the formula…. you know what I mean when I say there is a time when you LONG for a normal day.  An uneventful, ordinary, nothing special kind of day.  There is a time when you think that this will never be possible again.
   But life marches on.  Things resolve, or they don’t.   There becomes a new normal… and if you’re really lucky, time eventually heals most wounds.  That’s what I had to say to this scared mom today.  Because it’s true, although SO hard to see when you’re adrift in the middle of  that shit storm.  
I hung up the phone…
took a deep breath and remembered……
and then I let it go….
and stuck my hands in the dirt.  
How I am loving
this awesome, wonderful,
normal, uneventful, ordinary day.

28 thoughts on “Normal, uneventful, ordinary”

  4. The pain and struggle can sometimes feel unbearable and then one day the new normal feels like such a comfort. After a lot of loss in my life, the routine of my life is exactly what I need.
    What is it with your home and all the delicious food? 🙂

  9. What's normal? 😉

    Believe it or not, you are a special person. You've been blessed. How… well that's for you to say and share.
    Everyone you touch may see & feel it differently.

    Btw… Happy St.Patty's day! 🙂

    I'm half Irish and French.

  10. Your flowers look great !! looks like you had a great day. My thoughts are with the mother you mentioned may her days get better soon

  11. I try to savor the 'normal' days and never take them for granted. I know from experience that a phone call or something received in the mail can change my 'normal' in an instant.

    Glad you encourage this mother and then let it go.

    Beautiful photos!

  12. Karen- I am sending you a hug because I have been through times like that when you think you will never know "normal" again…and you don't really…but there becomes a new normal for you and you just keep moving forward through the pain until you find it. xo Diana

  14. I know of what you write–I'm there again, waiting with much trepidation till daughter's baby arrives—praying all goes well for there are still serious complications.
    Seems like there is a book out there called "The Gift of an Ordinary Day"–or something similar. Truly an ordinary day is an extraordinary gift.
    V

  15. Your words are so familiar. We do what we can to get through the tough days … minute by minute, and must try hard to cherish days that can be measured in larger chunks. Normal and ordinary are FABULOUS … here's a hug for you, to celebrate YOUR ordinary day.

  18. Wise and wonderful and probably exactly what your friend needed to hear. And your normal, looks pretty fantastic to me 🙂

  19. I love normal, simple even boring days! What super great photos, especially that purple pansy one! Never plant them but after seeing yours, I should! Glad you and Opie got some "me time" for your b-day!!! Was a glorious sunny Sunday!

  20. Ah Karen,

    I believe that we go through these trials so that we can in turn comfort those around us. Your understanding of what this mother is going through will be so different than others just looking in. You won't just hear of her pain, but you'll be able to listen with your heart. I think it's a hard gift that we have of having lived through the valley of the shadow of death. It's a gift because we know to value the 'ordinary' and it's also a gift to be able to comfort others….but there it still stings…and can give you a sick feeling in your gut.

    I'm rambling now…but will keep this momma and her child in my prayers and will think of you as you continue in your journey.

    Here's to sunshine, children laughing, messy homes, and animals going to give birth to new life this spring…here's to the ordinary!

    Hugs to you, friend.

  23. I understand hell and what it has been like through situations of my own, but reading this really made me think about how wonderful normal is! I loved it especially when you said that you let it go. That is so profound yet so hard to do sometimes. Thank you for this lovely reminder.

  24. Wonderful, thoughtful post, Karen.

    I guess there are different definitions of normal — everyone has their own I suppose.

    You are right in that getting back to normal after a tragedy is often hard.

    Lovely photos of your weekend — love the pansies! 🙂

  25. Yes yes!

    I've had some people laugh at me, but when things get tough, when things are spinning out of control for me, that's when I clean my damn house.

    Doing those simple tasks, watching the progress, then enjoying the result makes me feel calm in this, perhaps only, part of my life.

    You are a good friend; I know it.

  26. Happy Birthday Sweetie!!!! You certainly deserve a special day & I hope that it was. I am grateful for you in my life…a sweet flower in the landscape of my life. Blessings & love!
    ( and yes, those 'normal' days are still weird for me yet.)

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