Most of us hope we achieve – truly old – someday. Of course the -being old- isn’t easy, but it’s a privilege not everyone gets to enjoy. As for my own thoughts on the subject… I hope I am lucky enough to live long, to have family and friends to continue to love, that I don’t carry the burdens of too much sorrow, and I am healthy and sound of mind enough to take care of myself until I just find myself -passed-.
My grandmother lived independently until she was 85. What a gracious woman she was, and so generous to those she loved. Her warm presence is still missed many years later. She put herself together every single day, hair up, nice clothing and jewelry that matched. Never stopped cooking for a crowd. On her last morning, she was in the midst of putting herself together, sat down in a chair in her room, and that was that. We should all be so lucky.
As I am getting older I observe others in the generations ahead of me now reaching that old age. There is a big difference in the quality of the lives of those who lived their younger days in a self-absorbed cloud. Those who shared their lives with others in a generous way, who found nurturing friendships and family relationships to be just as rewarding as nurturing themselves… tend to have more to look forward to each day in their last years of life. The Golden Years are more golden, enriched by those ties that bind, the friendships and family that were cared for and nourished. Those relationships remain and they sustain.
I know from experience it’s a sad thing to witness an old person’s existence after they’ve lived a full life…. but one that was geared around their needs and wants only. It seems to me their world becomes so very very small in the end because they did not nurture relationships with others in a way that would render willingness or want for reciprocation. No real relationships were forged, earned, nurtured, so they don’t exist when they are most important. Being selfish works while you’re still young and capable. But what does it look like when you’re old and need some assistance? Pretty lonely.
My advice is not professional, nor am I awesome with all my relationships. I’ll share with you what I learn as I grow, regardless – I think it’s important to keep yourself open to the ones you love. Don’t let old baggage hold you back from living fully and including others in the things that are your life. Care about others, lend a hand when you can… think about things beyond your own existence and your own needs, no matter how frazzled you are with your own troubles, how wrapped up you are in your own triumphs.
From what I can see…. It matters. You reap what you sow.
