I’ve been a worrier since I was old enough to remember. With chronic worry comes the physical and mental toll, especially as we age. Seven years ago now, several very sad and terrifying things converged on our family at the same time and all hell broke loose with my body, mentally and physically. I had a headache for a year straight – MRI, CT SCANS, meds after meds after meds, nothing wrong technically – but nothing got rid of the pain. My blood pressure was above acceptable numbers and my anxiety peaked. I began having panic attacks. If you’ve never had one of those, they are awful. It’s as if you’re dying, that’s what it feels like. And it comes out of nowhere at any given time for what seems like no reason at all. I could be walking in the grocery store or sitting in a restaurant, and the feeling of being unable to breathe, racing heart, sick stomach, certain doom!… came over me like a heavy wet blanket. My body ached all the time, all over. I was plagued by Acid Reflux. Dr. visits, an ER visit or two or three!… and bad reactions to medications left me feeling absolutely spent and hopeless. My husband gets kudos here for helping me through it all… there were many nights when I woke up in panic or violently sick in the bathroom and he rubbed my back or held my hair away from my face at the toilet. How’s that for a visual.
What broke the cycle? Well, the heart ache of a loss was less sharp as time went on, and the healing of a child was so appreciated and such a gift it was hard to stay in the negative. But that wasn’t enough. I changed what I was eating too. Visualize whatever you put in your body is either polluting it or nourishing it. You’re either feeding your body or feeding a disease….. it’s that simple. With that mantra, you’ll think twice before scarfing down that junk food. I stay away from Gluten most of the time, and boy do I feel better when I do. I limit dairy too.
I also decided I didn’t want to live in a medication induced fog, didn’t want to live in constant fear, had to get control of my mind again by doing what I knew needed to be done. Getting off the meds if possible. One of the suggestions that I had always scoffed at, because hey, I am so unbendy , can’t stop the mind from thinking 100 miles an hour, let alone CLEAR IT OF ALL THOUGHTS – HA!… …. was YOGA. Well let me tell ya, once I gave it a try, and stuck with it….. what a difference a 20 minute simple easy routine for beginners makes. Because of my hearing impairment, a yoga class is out of the question because I can’t hear the instructor, much less get in the pose while still trying to read her lips. So I have several DVDs and a yoga mat and I do my routine at home. I try for at least four times a week, just 20 minutes at a clip. Anyone can find time for that, and I sure do recommend it.
