And now.. because of those choices he made, he’s exactly where he was headed in the end. Pretty much alone. My conscience won’t allow me to just walk away from the guy sitting in the wheelchair at the rehab facility with his 20 percent heart function that just doesn’t allow him the stamina to walk down the hall anymore, the ever present oxygen nearby if not being worn. I actually have to remind myself every time I step into his room – be kind, kindness, no arguments, just do it, ignore any stupid remarks, it doesn’t matter now. It doesn’t matter now. It doesn’t matter.
What does matter is I have to figure out where he goes next, and if any of you have experienced the title 19 process, it’s hell on wheels. Basically, my father needs assistance for the remainder of his life, medical, physical, etc. etc. He wants to go home – even if for just a little longer – he says. Yet he really can’t. He doesn’t have the money, because he never planned well for these things, or many things at all, for the care he would need. Medicare is almost used up, the rehab place is ready to kick him out of their system, initial discharge was Thursday and yet where is he supposed to go? He can’t – go home-. He can’t just go – out-. There needs to be a plan. They are looking at ME for the plan. It’s a job I didn’t sign up for, and don’t want. But there it is.
Medicaid will allow him to live in a nursing home with the medical and physical support he needs to get through his remaining days comfortably. Title 19 is the only way to do it. Title 19 takes every last thing you own, fair enough. Title 19 takes months to process. Four weeks ago we didn’t know he would need Title 19. So, I had to hire an attorney to facilitate title 19, and help me jump through the hoops to get him into a facility not far from us so I can monitor his care and needs. They have you fill out a workbook with his finances. Their fee? They don’t tell you until they’ve seen the completed workbook. It’s substantial… and…. it happens to be the total amount that was left in his savings account. To the penny. That just feels a little dirty to me. But.. it is what it is, and we need their assistance. The state gets what they aren’t paid anyway. Out of his SS check monthly, the state will take that too, besides his assets, and he will get a $60 per month allowance. That is supposed to pay for his haircuts, toiletries, any clothing he might need, if he wants to buy an ice cream. – really-. *sigh
I meet with the lawyer and him on Friday to discuss all of this, to explain to him what has to happen, and to have him sign over all the last threads of what he managed to hold on to until now. That includes his beloved and decrepit 94 Chevy Cavalier, that he believed he could take to the nursing home with him for the occasions when he gets bored and wants to go for a ride. – *sigh again.
Stripped, and I feel sorry for him, and yet I don’t. And yet….