Age and Beauty

They don’t  travel well together. 

It would seem, in the eyes of our culture, that once we have gathered an abundance of one (if ,indeed, we are LUCKY enough) ,   we lose the other.  Does it bother me that nowadays my skin is always dry, I’ve got grey hairs where I never thought they’d appear, my muscles ache and the frown lines and age spots are permanent?   Hell yeah.  Do I want to fret over it, let aging  define me, now that I’ve stepped over the line of middle middle age?  Not if I can help it.  It’s a waste of time and energy.  And you know… there really is something to be said for experience that comes only with age.  A feeling of being more comfortable in your own skin, dry, drooping, wrinkled and spotted as it may be.  There is liberation in allowing yourself to be exactly who you are, no apologies.  I didn’t give myself that permission during my youthful years.

  I read an interview last night with Demi Moore – You know… I feel sorry for her right now, she’s just been hospitalized for exhaustion, etc. and I applaud her for getting the help she needs during what is surely a horrendous time in her life.  I can’t image the pressures of being married to another celebrity 15 years your junior in that world of dominating youth and glamour and perceived bodily perfection.  In the fish eye lens, everything they do is scrutinized… their relationship status, their mental  status, their body weight, their flaws, etc. etc. etc… the media circles like vultures waiting for the animal to start the decline.  Is the glory in that profession worth the agony?

 Anyway… the interviewer asked her how she felt about her body and this is part of what she had to say… the part that stood out and deserves applause.

  “I think I sit today in a place of greater acceptance of my body, and that includes not just my weight, but all of the things that come with your changing body as you age. I am now experiencing my body as extremely thin, thin in a way that I never imagined somebody would be saying to me, “You’re too thin, and you don’t look good”.   I find peace when I don’t see my body as my enemy, when I step back and have appreciation and look at all that my body has done for me.  It’s allowed me to give birth to three beautiful children,  allowed me to explore different roles as an actor, allowed me to be strong.  You can’t look at yourself  in the mirror and tear your body apart. You have to look at it and say….

“Thank you.
  Thank you for standing by me,
 for being there for me no matter what I have put you through”. 

I will admit here that I hesitated to post this next picture.. because it’s a very raw ME.
Just out of bed, No makeup to cover dark circles, no moisterizer to conceal fine lines…
but it’s honest.  
 As I look in this mirror, I am honestly saying.. THANK YOU.  

  

35 thoughts on “Age and Beauty”

  1. I think you look great!
    The good thing about aging is that we now have enough wisdom to know that the wrinkles, sags and lumps are not important, thank goodness. When I think back to my younger days and what bothered me, I laugh, if only I knew what awaited, I would have been THRILLED in my skin. How fortunate we are to grow old, so many are not given that chance.

  2. I needed to hear that! In my late 30s I began to gain weight for the first time in my life and I didn't mind because I had always been a little too thin. Anyways I am now 51 and my body has been through hell in the past 4 years due to a ruptured colon from diverticulitis. I was mad at my body for letting me down and gaining 50lbs over the years which made it extra hard to recover from 3 subsequent surgeries. Maybe I need to thank my body for still being here through the bad times and maybe I owe my body more than I have given it through the years!
    Oh and by the way…you do look awesome!

  3. Growing old(er) gracefully is a challenge, I think. There is much of it that I don't mind, but I could live without the aches and pains when I do things I enjoy. You look fabulous in your t-shirt!

  4. good post, Karen. at some point in time, thirty years ago, outward appearances/beauty meant a lot to me. not so anymore and not so for a long, long time. what matters to me is the inside stuff; the stuff that stands tall when cancer strikes, when death comes, when heart breaks. Dave used to tell me, "I wish you cared, just a little bit, about what people think of you." To which I'd reply, "I do care what people I respect think of me; the others, not one whit."
    we're all somewhere in the middle: we're never going to be the thinnest, the fattest; the prettiest, the ugliest; the shortest, the tallest and that's okay. what matters is being comfortable, happy, satisfied with ourselves; knowing when our head hits the pillow, we've done our best, with God's help, to live a life worth living.
    A life well lived…not a bad objective.

  8. Growing older has its challenges for sure, but I still think people now look feel healthier and look better at an older age than they used to. I like it because I don't feel the expectation to look great. I'm 56 and when I walk in a room it's the 25 year old beside me they look at (and judge). I'm comfortable in my own skin and it looks like you are too! I got over it a long time ago. You are beautiful just the way you are at whatever age you are. Anyway, I think that beauty is not in the face, it is a light in the heart.

  9. Such a great and true post, our bodies do not need to be our enemy, yet I struggle with this too! Love the last photo, raw is far more beautiful than anything a cosmetics company can try and sell us!

    Kat 🙂

  11. I feel badly for Demi. I think though, that she had to have known that someone 15 years her junior, doing Nikon ads with VERY young and attractive women would eventually get the better of his testosterone and that she would lose him.

    I don't enjoy the aches and pains of growing older but have much better health than a lot of the gals I knew back in high school. Genetics plays a large role in how we age, as well as exercise, eating habits and attitude.

    You look PERFECT to me. Love ya!

  12. This is so well written, Karen. And you have explored very common territory in a new, fresh way. I have never looked at my body in the way that Demi looks at hers, thanking it for all it has done and been through. On the contrary, I do a lot of lamenting over the damage the years have caused. That's self defeating! So I am inspired to view myself in a different way and that's a good thing.

    I think you look fit and healthy and you can't ask for much better at our age. Thanks so much for your burst of honesty and openness!

    XO,
    Jane

  13. Well you do look great! I usually don't wear makeup, but I do have age spots now. I also dye my hair.

    I heard Demi Moore was doing whippets – if so, that's crazy! She is not a teenager!!

  14. I'm with you, Karen. Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder where the old me went. I don't mind aging but I do mind some of the diminished capability of being able to work round the clock to "geterdone". You look lovely to me! xo Diana

  19. So well said by you and Demi. I can remember when I was young that I constantly criticized my body and looks. Now, I'm accepting and the liberation feels wonderful.

    hugs
    Sissie

  20. You my dear, are just as BEAUTIFUL inside as you are outside!!! I love the quote from Audrey Hepburn …"Happy girls are the prettiest!"

  21. Raw is beautiful, and you are incredibly photogenic.

    We all struggle with this to some degree. We must all try to be happy, because smile lines are much more becoming on an aging face than frowny wrinkles.

  24. Here here!! I feel sorry for people that can't accept their natural aging. Not saying it is always easy but a relief once you go with it!! 🙂

  26. You are brilliant and beautiful! I worry so much about raising a daughter in this society of plastic barbie girls, but I am hoping to always keep it real for her. I have to admit my guilty pleasure of watching all the Real Housewives and it has made me so grateful for who I am and what I have. Those show me that you can have all the money, plastic surgery, cars, home, toys… in the world and you can be a miserable person. I am so happy with who I am!

  27. You can do that with no fear. If you looked like I do, you might be more hesitant. LOL!

    My age doesn't bother me nearly as much as my aging body. No, I haven't made peace with it.

  35. You look great! Your family loves you no matter what.
    I love your blog your home is beautiful. God bless.
    Kelly

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