Aunt Karen

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:

 ” Please ask your parent to tell you a story with a moral ending”.

 The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

 There were all the regular types of stuff, spilled milk and pennies saved.

 William was the last boy to tell his story.

 “William, do you have a story to share?’

 ‘Yes ma’am.  My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen.
 She was a pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit.  She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a  flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

 She drank the whiskey on the way down cause she knew the bottle was gonna break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 enemy  troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of  bullets,killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and  then she killed the last of them with her bare hands.’

 ‘Good Heavens,’ said the horrified teacher. ‘What did your daddy  tell you was the moral to this horrible story?’

William gave her a look like it oughta be obvious, and said..

‘Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she’s been drinking!’