Author: admin

Where do we go from here

    If you’re not living under a rock here in the US, you know what just happened down South.  Brief recap in case you really didn’t see it… Some assh*le plowed into a crowd of protesters standing up to  a wh*te supremac*st hate group at their rally.  That assh*le was another holier-than-thou wh*te supremac*st  who apparently had nothing better to do than to kill one truly decent human being and maim at least 7 others critically. 
     Sadly, but expectedly (and that’s even worse), our commander in chief  blamed “all sides” for this violence, and made sure no one could blame him, adding “this isn’t because of Obama or Trump”..  ( LOL, really, dude?)  But…. but… and here’s the important part… he did not denounce, until two days later after he was called out on it by many sources… the haters who actually committed the violence and murder.  He did not name them until today.  He tried to peg it on violence from “all sides”  Why?  Because he knows they are part of his base supporters.  Kinda like Russ*a.  And ain’t that a scary, scary deal.
      Regardless – Why so much hate among those people?  They weren’t born with it. Perhaps they were raised with it, I don’t know.  What I do know is each and every one of us bares some responsibility to help right that ship. It might take ten thousand days and ten thousand ways… but each of us can do something, somehow, somewhere… to say we are not those people. We will not tolerate intolerance.  
      If you are reading this and you have racist tendencies, stop the nonsense.  If you’re religious and a racist.. LOL.. well, there’s a bit of irony, huh?  not sure how you rationalize the hypocracy in your own mind.    We are the sum of our actions, not the sum of the pigment in our skin, the origin of our ancestors. The history of the white man is not really something to be proud of – we enslaved people, took them away from their own culture and literally enslaved them to do our dirty work.  We slaughtered the people who were here before us so that we could take the land they were living on. Hell, slaves built our President’s home!  (you know.. the dump.. according to 45).  And.. how can anyone.. anywhere.. knowing the horrors what were N@zi, Germ*ny…. idolize such a thing.    So unbelievable and yet very very real – that in this day and age, we’re still dealing with this ignorance. 
    If we were living in the days of slav*ry, if we were living in N@zi Germ@ny,  what would you have done then?    What are you doing now…. 
    Lately, it feels like we’re being assaulted in so many ways… and this ain’t no snowflake complaining here.  What are YOU doing to combat what’s being thrown at us from all angles?    We’re not getting reinforcement from the top, hell no.  So I guess it starts with all of us.. .at the bottom and up through the middle … let’s do this… let’s be the light in these dark times… Any suggestions?  I’d love to hear your words, your ideas on positive action, positive change.
 
   
  
     
 

True Beauty

 What does true beauty look like?  Do you think it’s Scarlett Johansson or Rita Hayworth or Daisy Duke or the Victoria’s Secret model of the month?  Anything I see in Vogue magazine just looks weird. What’s up with that? 
  When I was the younger me, I wished I had what was considered more “conventional” good looks.  I didn’t fit the usual molds,  and I surely wasn’t looking inward at all for beauty – I was looking at my not-blonde hair, my not-quite-green eyes, my thicker-than-I’d-like thighs,  my small boobs, what I thought was short chubbyness at a mere 118 lbs.  (OMG, that’s seriously mental). 
   I remember sitting at a bar with my very blonde blue eyed tall legged friend, who was attracting all the attention from the guys.  One of my favorite Carly Simon songs includes this verse… Me and Penny… twinkle like Crystal and Pennies… two hot girls on a hot summer night, looking for love…..  That was us. She was the crystal, I was the penny. ..but you knew that, right?    and then this…    Thanks for introducing us… Dwight said polite and I waved goodnight… I wondered why it wasn’t me… I guess it’s just that the time’s not right…     I can’t tell you how many of those nights occurred, but I can tell you they stung and to this day I remember the pain. 
   It took me many years, and into middle age to appreciate what I was given without wishing for something different.  What a waste of precious time.   It took yet a few more to learn that true beauty comes from within. It’s not the external “stuff” we manipulate and fuss over so.  That may be the icing, but it’s not the cake.  No.. the cake is truly liking yourself, let alone love…despite any flaws – and we all have them.   Being contented in the life you’re living, being grateful for all that is good in your world, acknowledging what’s less than perfect but moving forward in a positive way despite obstacles.. and remember, no one is obstacle-free, despite the picture you might see from the outside looking in.   No one can do this for us, either.  It has to come from within.  So… why ever not.. give yourself that gift? 
  The younger me never smiled in photos because I thought I had an unattractive, unnatural smile.  So with my guarded “smirk” I looked sad, withdrawn, looking at the camera lens warily, not embracing much of anything at all if you believe that snapshot of an instant.   
   In this middle middle age, I have come to embrace the act of smiling, laughing out loud, letting the photo be snapped, taking some selfies even!  I am so much happier than I ever was when I was “the perfect weight”, wore makeup, my hair was full and shiney and youth was on my side.   Real beauty shines through at any age when you set yourself free from all those negative thoughts, when you allow yourself to just be, do, live.   Who were we trying to impress, anyway?  Ourselves?  Well then, let the inner critic be damned – so that we may live happily ever after.

   This beauty recognition extends beyond just the self – I see it in others – I see real beauty in the face of a generous soul, a happy, contented soul , a kind soul- inner and outer – regardless of what criteria their physical being meets. 

   I doubt I have young readers here – but if by chance I do… love YOU now, not later.  Embrace your life because life itself is a gift – and for heavens sake… smile big, laugh often , Love.. much. 
For my friends who stop here now and again- I hope you’ve come to love you too.  I hope you allow others to photograph you, and I hope you smile big in the process.  Love this life with all it’s imperfections – in particular, love you.
  

The K List

   Pickles wrapped in bacon – Yuck, right?  Nooooo.. it’s the bomb!!… Seriously, try it.  All you have to do is grab a jar of your favorite dill pickle – either the little whole ones or the long slices… and wrap them in bacon – maple bacon especially! … bake them in a  425 oven in baking dish of your choice until bacon is done – about 20 minutes or so.. ovens vary. oooh man, are they good.  Make a dip of your choice to dunk them in, even better. 
 Little Sally is part of the family now, all the dogs get along, although there are the occasional sibling jealousies.  And K’s new pup, Rex is just a love bug – already adored by us all.  For a brief little while I said to myself several times a day….. What.. Did you DO!?…. but I’m over it.  I just love her, and so does the husband (BIG bonus right there).   I think I can say for certain though, not doing a puppy again. Adult dog adoptions only from here on out. 
 We’re having dinner tonight at my daughter’s condo…
we’ll get to play with this adorable scruff too. 
In between farm and work related chores and errands, we’ve been scooting
down to the shore for dinner and a swim…
I have a little plaque down there on the wall that reads..
The Ocean Fixes Everything 
I do believe it’s true. 

 Isn’t this a cool idea?… bird bath – glass top, sand and shells – BOOM
Awesome seaside table for porch/ patio/sunroom..

  I just finished a great read – well written, fascinating true story.  I highly recommend it for all my book loving friends –  Thanks, Hilary.. for the recommendation.   I’m looking for the next great read – what’s on your nightstand? 

It’s a beautiful thing

   So.. some happy news here to start off.  My daughter had to put her much loved rescued cat down last week after Phoebe had developed a rapidly growing mouth cancer.  While she is still grieving the loss and wasn’t looking to replace her,  a friend’s relative was in a tough spot with housing and school schedule and needed to find a home for her also much loved dog.  They asked if Kristen might be interested in adopting, as he was a very friendly dog who was used to apartment living and might be a great fit for K.   My advice was  that while she was still hurting over her loss and this was not intended to be a replacement for Phoebe, she should at least go meet the little guy in case there was a strong connection.  K loves to be a care giver to her animals and I knew she would miss having a critter at her feet to love on. 
    So, they met… and  just look at this precious face.  Needless to say it was love at first sight, and they are living together very happily as I type.  Rex is thrilled to be getting attention and regular walks, etc.. from not one, but two people – K’s BF loves him too…. and he’s even sleeping on their bed at night.  
 The BF, “D” is a big Star Wars fan.. and he sent me this… .. Our Dog, the Ewok. 
We had company here at the farm the other night and a visit with Florida cousins… family and friends we don’t see often.  
This picture is with my MIL, still a beautiful woman in her mid 70’s – 
 Our Florida Peeps… 
 Best Friend Cousins here since the very beginning…
We all smothered Baby A with cuddles.  Oh, those precious little toes… 

The cousins went out on a double date adventure… 

Wishing this new little family the very best. 
 Great to visit with them 💖

In between visits and work chores, etc etc… I’ve made my first ever peach blueberry jam, and I gotta tell ya, it is DELICIOUS.  So simple too, except also a lot of work preparing the peaches… the peaches are fresh off our tree in the yard.  The Ingredients are simple – many many peaches, blanched and chopped, blueberries, Sugar, Pectin, lemon juice.  All cooked together and put in sterilized jars, then processed again in boiling water for ten minutes.  I am loving that combination.  Are you a canner or do you love jam? What’s your favorite combination?  I’d give you my recipe but I really did just wing it. 
   We’ve had some beautiful summer days, and have been taking full advantage of Stella being so close by.  After work or farm chores or whatever is on each of our agendas, we head down there for an evening swim and dinner on the deck frequently.  The kids often drop in after work, too.  Mom is staying down there for a week right now and will have some friends join her as well.  
    If you’re contemplating a second home, a little getaway somewhere for respite, I highly recommend finding something not far away, believe it or not.  I’m finding we get much more use out of it because we can get there and back quickly.   It’s also easy to include friends/family as they are also nearby.  For us, anyway, that works. 

  Thanks so much for stopping by.  It’s a new day, all – let’s make it a good one. 

You Can’t Make This Sh*T Up

   Is your head spinning yet?  ‘Cause whether you support the Orange Scream or you’re like me, saying or thinking a whole lot of WTF’s….  Seriously… WTF… this stuff has to tax your common sense thinking  just a little.   Besides N. Korea tantrums which could be pretty f-ing serious, Russia.. the state of our Health Care system…  The trans ban- I’m not sure what to say about that.  It just feels real discriminatory and unfair to me.  A 45 supporting friend said to me – the military shouldn’t pay for their gender operations!  Apparently 8 million dollars has been spent on that subject.  $78 mill has been spent on Viagra and Cialis for their erectile dysfunction.  Let that sink in.   
   This past week alone, just tip of iceberg stuff here –  we’ve got one atrocious speech in front of the Boy Scouts of America… another atrocious speech suggesting more police brutality is in order, shall we even bother with the appointment of Scaramucci?  He’s so slick I’m surprised his suit stays on him. Maybe that’s why the knots so tight.. to hold it in place/  Jeez in his first week in position he suggested Sarah Huckabee needed help with her makeup and hair – what an absolute ass.   He’s such a turd his wife of three years  just filed for divorce.. apparently very unhappy about his dance with the new White House.  I can’t say that I blame her and  I wish her  the very very best.  Smart woman. 
 If foul language offends you, don’t glance below. But if you’re a 45 supporter, I guess this doesn’t bother you at all….. 

UPDATE:   He’s OUTTA THERE!  That has to be a record.

 I have some happy news to share, but I’m not polluting it in this post.. more later.   

Life Boats

    Yesterday started out kinda lousy- just about every part of my body hurt from this damned fibromyalgia nonsense.  I was also concerned for my daughter, who was away for a few days with her boyfriend and family and would soon return to a cat sicker than just a few days before, her much loved Phoebe.. a cat she had adopted from a shelter several years earlier.  in the past month she had developed an aggressive mouth cancer.  Surgery would mean removing her lower jaw and then chemo and radiation.  Prognosis, 6 months.  K made the wise decision not to torture the cat with all that nonsense, but that meant soon, a time would come to end her misery.  
    The husband suggested we go down to the cottage after farm chores were done – to cut the grass and chill out for a while.  We did just that.  The humidity had disappeared and the temps were in the high 70’s, lovely breezes.  As soon as I saw the water, I decided to get in it.  Donned that bathing suit again!.. ( so proud of my new resolve to live every day fully and without apologies for my less than perfect self. That is SO silly and a waste of time – if you’re doing it too, stop.  Be. Do. LIVE). 
  The water was so refreshing, my muscles eased as my body relaxed into the salt water.. and I floated.  Stared up at the sky and said.. whatever will be, will be. Let go or be dragged – so I let go. 
   We sat on the platform as the water lapped at our feet (high tide) and the neighbor asked if we’d like to hop on his little boat and head out to tour the Thimbles…. and So We Did.   What a treat!  With the wind in our hair and the salt spray on our face, we cruised out and then slowly motored through the thread of islands – a fascinating place with so many houses, all different styles, and beautiful rock outcroppings – a few bridges spanning one island to the next too…  These pics below are not mine – taken from the internet as I had no camera onboard… 

      It was the shot in the arm I needed – a life boat for the day.  We came home refreshed.  
    Today, I accompanied my daughter to the veterinary hospital with her beloved cat. She made a very humane and selfless decision to end the cat’s suffering, even though she would miss her terribly and hated to let her go.   The veterinarian and her staff were so caring, so compassionate.  Another life boat. Miss Phoebe is now resting eternally among the pines on the side of this old house,  with no more pain.   My daughter is hurting, but grateful for the ability to release Phoebe from that awful disease. 
Rest easy, Phoebe girl.  In your last years you knew love. 
Spoiled, pampered, Love.  That – is a beautiful thing. 

Salty Dogs

 Yesterday was one of those sweltering July days here in New England.  The humidity is what gets me, bleh.   I took Frasier and Sally down to Stella in hopes of a swim, but when we arrived – the low tide was the lowest I think I’ve ever seen it.. .and believe it or not – walking all the way across the cove to the other side would only get me less than waist deep.  So, only wading – no swimming.  We did that anyway.
 
Our beachfront consists of sand and muck and seaweed, oyster and clam shells. Lots of rocks too.  Water shoes are necessary to get out into the water to swim.   Frasier likes the water and will walk around in it shoulder deep –  Sally?  Not so much.  She was in my arms when I snapped the pic below and she continued to “paddle” until we were back up on the grass.   Here you can see the high tide mark – the dark coloring along the stone, steps and seawall.  The difference between low tide and high tide in the cove, in a matter of hours!.. is 6 feet.  That’s amazing to me. 

 M Jr. came down for supper and went clamming to enhance the meal..

K showed up after work too and together they began our next project  – clearing the many rocks that have accumulated on our little tiny beachfront so that the water can push in more sand when we want to walk out to swim or  sit in a chair there.  There are two oyster beds on either side of our little stretch of “beach”. That’s where we’re putting the extra rocks – they fortify the oyster beds. 
  While Jr. was clamming, he pulled up this little guy – whom we tossed back in the ocean after taking a few pictures…  His body is about the size of the palm of your hand, so he was a BIG hermit crab. 

 Little Sally is getting used to cottage life too –   (who remembers Blueberries for Sal? One of my favorite childrens books)  She’s got salty breeze-naps perfected. 

  Meanwhile, back in Tr*mpland, the mysterious ties and lies deepen.  I don’t even know where to begin here, so I think…. I won’t.   Drip   Drip    Drip…..

 It’s a new day, all. Let’s make it a good one –  thanks for stopping by.

Sometimes you just gotta say it….

   F*ck it. 
    Let me start off by expressing my utter disgust at my little self –  I have been less than stellar in my weight loss journey this year. Oh, I’ve given it the old college try every now and again ( like, back in college, when I was young and fit and could drop ten pounds with a few extra sneezes) … but it’s been now… and again… ever since.     My  husband has lost 60 pounds since January… 60!!! SIX  OH.   He looks and feels fantastic.   I’m so happy and jealous for him.   What’s MY problem?   FOOD.   The general love of it, the preparing of it for others,  STRESS.  Having fibromyalgia doesn’t help matters either.  When you hurt 24/7 and an hour of every single day is spent doing physical work out in the barn/coop/garden/yard shoveling sh*t among other things, it’s kinda hard to say… “Body?  I know you just did all that for me and I thank you profusely for soldiering on despite the constant pain and ache while we together care for the 200 animals I insisted on taking in over the years.  But.. can we just push it a little further?  Like four miles on the treadmill?   Let’s lift a few hundred more pounds, shall we?”
….    you  know what Body says, right?

This had me laughing out loud…. ’cause you gotta keep your humor, hear me? – 

   To be clear, I’m not saying F*ck it to the diet or the exercise . No, we all need to keep doing that, even when it hurts.  Use it or lose it, right?    This is something different, and equally important…
 We had some glorious weather this weekend and spent a good part of it down at the cottage once farm chores were done. Both sets of kids came and went as their schedules allowed and I love the time we all spend there.  
  On Saturday I watched as others swam, water skied, cruised in boats, on paddle boards,  bobbled on and around giants floats – there are several in our cove neighborhood.   It was hot.  A great time to jump in the water.  A great time to don a suit and just jump in.  What did I do?….
I stuck my feet in the water off our cement dock pad and wished I hadn’t been such a slouch this spring in the eating and exercise department. 
Sunday.. another glorious day… THIS TIME… I took a good look around, saw (damn it) the neighbors were all in attendance and entertaining guests, even(of course!)    And I thought of how foolish I’ve been.  I’m 52 years old, damn lucky to be here.  I’m 20 lbs overweight and I don’t look as good as I used to in a suit.  WHO CARES.  WHO… CARES.    And if someone does care?  It’s their problem.   I’ve got enough of my own.

 My son was sitting in my kitchen the other day and I did the standard complaint –  He said Mom, you say that all the time, you’ve been saying it for years.  “Jeez, I’m so fat, that’s it, I’m gonna diet starting right now”.  Stop the complaining, mom, just do it.    He’s right!  I don’t want to be the complainer.  I want to be the doer.  Change only comes if you change what you’re doing. 

So…  Sunday,… to start… I said F*ck it.  I went inside and put on that suit and marched right back out, head held high,soaked up a few rays before slipping into that cool blue water.  The kids joined me and it was SO refreshing. – the water, the letting go, the moving on.    I’m not abandoning my health goals – some weight loss, more exercise, better eating habits.  But I’m done beating myself  up and missing out on some of the real pleasures in life, like enjoying the water on a hot summer day. 

 What.. you thought I’d give you the full body shot?  Not.

  Meanwhile, back at the ranch… I made a BIG decision and it feels right.

Till soon, friends – 






  

Another installment of the K List

  .. .meaning this that, and the other too. 
   Little Miss Olivia Penny Sally Maddie Scout is doing just fine.  Even though I had her name tag engraved OLIVIA… I’m not feeling it.   I  also gave her too much credit for being potty trained so soon in life- silly me.  Now that she’s comfortable here… yeah.   So.. the REAL potty training is in full force.  The great news is she sleeps through the night without having to go out – and without messing in her crate.  Bonus!   I do believe in crate training, it’s not cruel, it’s not dangerous, and it’s not to be abused or it can be all of the above.  I only use the crate for over night and when I have to get busy somewhere else and need her to be safe and not in a potty zone. For the most part she has the run of the house with the other dogs. 
   
The dogs are getting use to her – here they are under my desk in the little bed a bought for her because she likes to hang out there when I’m working… they kicked her out and took over, but at least their butts are allowed to touch.  Progress! 

   I saw something beautiful on pinterest or facebook… a sea glass artist who makes beautiful creations from sea glass, shells, sand and windows.   Mine is much more simple but I love it regardless.   I bought an old window at a junk shop for $5, took some of my  shell and sea glass collection and scored a big vase full from a friend,  and in two hours time put this together and will hang it in my dining room window as soon as the husband has time to help. It’s heavy and I don’t want to risk not securing it well enough.  Better to be able to blame him if it falls (kidding!!  but not really!!).  This is a super inexpensive craft you can do – cost me $16. total – and what a gorgeous accent to anyone’s home.  
      As I’ve said before, I’ve been trying not to delve into the political state of things lately, but some things can’t be ignored.  I have a good friend who is a decent man, an intelligent man… who loves all things Tr*mp.  How those two realities co-exist is beyond my comprehension.   He believes all negative news is fake news and repeatedly tries to defend him no matter what the obvious offense.  It astounds me, how anyone can love him.  LOVE him, not just tolerate him because -agenda-.   He thinks the government deserves what they’re getting from Tr*mp and to be honest?  The government and the media had lessons to learn.  They’re learning alright.  But to who’s expense.  Ours, in my opinion.  This is the leader of the free world, supposedly.  This isn’t just a lesson.   My friend has said over and over again there are absolutely no truths to any of the inklings that the Tr*mp team and Russ*a had any collusion whatsoever regarding our election.   While this will not get him arrested… it is the tip of the iceberg.  It is.. truth.  Is it illegal?   I guess not.  But the son of the President was willing to work with the Russ*ans, felt comfortable doing so… do undermine our election.  That’s enough sleeze for me.  If you’re a Tr*mp supporter and you’re reading this.. you would be SCREAMING if it were Chelsea Cl*nton.    First… lets stop all the hypocrisy.  
     One thing I’m pretty confident is the truth….  Tr*mp is a master manipulator.  He knew how to play what would be his base by using the distrust and fedup attitude of many towards our government.  The downside to that is, he got in and I don’t think he every really believed he would.  His own good friend, Howard St(rn said he had hoped his friend wouldn’t win the election because he didn’t think he really wanted the job.  He was too thin skinned for what would come with it, he would miss is old life, his mental health would be in serious jeopardy.  NO  KIDDING. 
 45 himself said he misses his old life.   So.. what are we getting?  A bitter, self-absorbed bully narcissist who’s missing his old life and saying FU to whatever and whomever isn’t riding along on his magic carpet with high praise for his majesty.    The POTUS works for us, we don’t work for him. He’s forgetting that very important aspect.  If he were a corporate exec, he’d be fired by now with all that hideous twittering and false facts.  
   We the People deserve so much more.  The world stage demands so much more.  What damage will be done…   and oh how I hope I’m wrong about all of it. 

The Family that Hays Together.. Stays Together

   Sunday here on the farm was Hay Day.  Those two little words invoke pure happiness (oooh, the sweet aroma of fresh cut hay, and  hooray for a full loft of hay for the horses!)…. and it also invokes heavy sighs and eye rolls (allergies, a lot of heavy lifting and tossing and sweat.)  
    This year, our kids’ significant others joined in and I gotta say, both have proven once and for all they are in-law material. Kidding!.. but really not! 
    Decent feed hay around these parts now costs $10 per bale- and those aren’t the big bales.  By making our own hay, we have saved about $4000 to feed our horses this year – well worth the sweat equity and seed cost last year. 

  Have I told you lately how much I love my kiddos?    And while we aren’t a full working farm in the way many of our ancestors may have been- more of a farmette  compared to the previous occupants of this land, despite the work it takes to keep the place up and bring in the few crops we manage – it’s a good life, a reaffirming life.  I appreciate every single day we get to do this.  
Meanwhile.. back at the house – little Sally  AKA  Scout, Maddie, Olivia, Penny…. is doing just fine.  The other three dogs are accepting her slowly and she is just a love bug.   Now, if we could only decide on a name that suits her…..