Mom says it best

Lately I’ve tried to stay out of the political fray because I am so very tired of the bickering amongst we the people, let alone our governing forces. Who would have ever thought we’d see such a polarizing POTUS….or that he could get away with so much utter crap. (how about that forged doctors letter! – that is just bizarre). One small comfort I take is – our government needed a shake up. It needed a reality check – we the people were not being represented in our best interests for a variety of reasons and in several big arenas. TR*MP isn’t wrong in calling out some of the very big issues we have faced for years and have not fixed. The following came up and I want to share it, even though I’ve been enjoying the hiatus – which I’m returning to after this post, lol. I welcome opposing views as long as comments are respectful.

I’ve spoken here before about living in a house politically divided. I’m not affiliated with a particular party because I’m one of those who walks the middle ground in my views on a lot of issues, so that helps just a smidge. Until the election of DT – because TR*MP. So, in order to avoid World War 3 on a small scale up here in this house, we don’t talk politics often. The other day, the Mr. thought Dr. Charles Kra*thammer shared an opinion that should please us all and he sent it to my mother and I. Turns out the piece is falsely credited, the author was actually another political columnist. If you’re interested in that piece.. you can find it HERE. with the snopes correction.

Since he threw down the gauntlet and started the conversation, we both replied politely (really!) on what we thought of the piece. My mom said it best – and I’ll share it here with you. In it’s simplest form, the piece calls TR*MP a pragmatist, not a republican or democrat, who is just what this country needed. It was clearly written by a conservative republican, because while it lays blame on both parties for the ills of our society today (I agree!!) it labels Cl*nton and Sanders as Crazies trying to out crazy each other and speaks of being liberal as if it’s a disease. While I didn’t agree with Cl*nton and Sanders on all points, nor do I think Cl*nton was a stellar choice for President, they certainly aren’t lunatics in any sense of the word and being liberal is no more a disease than being a conservative republican. There’s another little blurb about those of us who haven’t achieved greatness or -done anything ! – we apparently can’t understand or appreciate true greatness and the confidence 45 displays because we haven’t achieved anything – (wow, dude).

Anyway – my mother’s response to the piece in the link above……

I agree that Trump is not a Conservative. He is a pragmatist in the
sense that what is good for him is what he wants. He is also a
pragmatist in the sense that he will keep on the issues that he feels
will keep his base loving him. There is no question in my mind that
both established parties have left the mass of the people behind,
sometimes out of ignorance, sometimes out of arrogance,often just to
ensure they got rich.

We need a new paradigm for the new age we are
facing. Globalism is not going away unless there is a planet wide
catastrophe. I see that as being a viral or bacterial pandemic, nuclear
war, or the more gradual effects of unaddressed global warming.
Pragmatism and straight talking is helpful, but that is not what we are
getting and I think the author of the piece knows that. What we’ve got is a bull in
a china shop thrashing around. He may break some things that need to be
broken but he is not discriminating. Breaking the Justice Department and
the FBI will have consequences. Encouraging the dog whistles of racism
will have consequences. Hyper-divisiveness will have consequences.

We are hopefully in for a sea change in our political life over the
next decade and if it is more pragmatic, transparent, and genuinely
aimed at strengthening the economic position of the middle and working
class, then we will all be better off. The other possible changes of
which there are signs around the world are less democracy and more
fascism. We are at a tipping point and could go either way. Trump by his
very nature leans fascist.

Well said, mom. Thank you –

Glorious Day!

Glorious morning turned to a glorious day! – even the chickens were excited when I turned them out for a few hours while doing barn chores. Bugs everywhere ! – a chickens dream come true.

It feels so darn good to MOW THE LAWN again! I wasn’t sure mother nature was ever gonna let that happen , like.. ever.. again! I don’t mow the lawn here at the farm – it’s acres worth so I leave that up to the menfolk. But Stella – well, her little postage stamp grass plot is totally doable – even with a manual push mower – you remember those, don’t ya? I get a lot of satisfaction out of that little chore, believe it or not.

Once the water is turned on for the season (any day now) we’ll spend more time down there giving her a thorough Spring Cleaning and some repair work to the cement dock/launch pad.

I did this again too –

I actually felt guilty sitting down at waters edge for no more than 15 minutes, knowing I had chores waiting for me here at home – how silly is that? Truly – we all need to grant ourselves permission to stop and smell the roses – for more than 15 seconds. The recharge is necessary for our well being, our sanity. Why all the effort if we can’t relax and enjoy the fruits of our labor? Does it sound like I’m trying to convince myself here? Yep and yep again.

I discovered there are now FOUR eggs in the porch nest at the cottage – and they are Robin eggs, not a catbird. Momma Robin was there today very annoyed with the racket I was making.

Meanwhile, back at the farm – this picture taken just minutes ago of the Purple Finch babies in the nest behind the lantern porch outside my office door. Can you believe the difference in just a few days? Birds are amazing for so many reasons.

Do you like to cook? I ordered this cookbook on Amazon, have already made three recipes out of it, and it is my favorite already. This is gooood home cooking from scratch but not too complicated.. absolutely delicious, fresh food. I am not paid to say anything on my blog, no ads here, just honest recommendation when I find something I love.

So far, the Parker House Rolls (so damned good they oughta be illegal – you know, that buttery, crusty, salty combination of a good roll that melts in your mouth – so good it’s bad! ) , Beef Chili and Chicken Cacciatore are divine! Delish! Picky Husband approved! And there is everything in this book, from apps to soups to salads, dinners, desserts and even drinks…

Some moon shots I took the other night – still learning some of the more technical settings that would require manual reading – bleh, not a strong suit of mine, map reading, ditto – thank the lord for Nav in the car. …. .

Today – My husband just returning home from a long day of work, and this is what I saw –

Apparently sometimes those last 30 steps to the house are just too much….

So go… sit for a spell – somewhere that brings you peace of mind. Someplace that lets you breathe deep and exhale slowly. Thank the powers that be and your own power – for all that is good. Don’t forget to record the moment and take a selfie without worry of no-makeup and unbrushed hair and wrinkles and fat rolls .. and.. and. Because we’re just so damned lucky to be alive and relatively well. That’s the cake – The rest is icing.

Till soon –

Cottage Days

Yesterday was glorious – the sun shown bright and it’s warmth on our skin was a much needed reprieve from what has been a very long, cold winter into spring.

M and I went down to Stella and cleaned out the rest of the little perennial beds and raked the lawn yesterday. What’s truly awesome about a little place like this is, it takes very little time to winterize, and open her up for the season. Little accents like fresh annuals in the pots, now refurbished with new soil, and a few more perennials to fill out the beds will come around Mother’s Day – the usual ‘safe date’ for spring planting in New England. Come Mother’s Day, the garden centers around here are bustling with people itching to get out in the garden and add some color to the ‘scape.

The forsythia is finally blooming, daylilies making their way up….

And the hosta is returning, having multiplied some.

We have a Catbird nest and so far, one egg on Stella’s porch…

I am so happy to see how very clear the water has been this year in our cove, therefore the Sound and out to the Atlantic. The Save The Sound efforts of the last 20 or so years have been successful. Any improvements in our environment are something huge to celebrate.

After this winter’s ice storms, we need to repair our cement “deck” down at the waterfront. The ice broke it up pretty good – those repairs will happen soon and a hand rail will be installed so swimming and kayak launching will be a little easier. The water was so clean and the temps warm enough to tempt me to test the waters, so to speak.

These were Happy Feet –

for about 30 seconds.

We came home to find our son out in the garden, planting the artichokes he had begun from seed. Kale already growing in two rows. I joined him, soaked some Dragon tongue beans in water while I sowed two rows – and planted those seeds as well. Are we a bit hasty? I hope not. As you can see, the leaves aren’t even out on the trees yet – just the red haze of buds that are a promise.

This morning, rain again.

Frasier, Sally and Bailey have the right idea, I think.

I’m going to try like hell to resist

the urge to bake something.

Because the eating of it would come next.

Will power of a flea, truth.

I’m also trying to ignore the urge to rant about
that egomaniac who can’t shut his own mouth
long enough to pay decent tribute to Olympic athletes
without insulting them.
*hard to watch ….
actually, my description for this entire 45 Presidency
can be described with those three little words.

Have a good day, All – thanks for stopping by.

A Sense of Place

According to wikipedia, that term has several meanings, a sense of place. I relate it to a feeling of belonging, of being comfortable, contented where you are. While I enjoyed my childhood neighborhood and Staten Island upbringing, I knew from a young age it was not where I was meant to settle. As soon as I was old enough, I hightailed it to where I wanted my roots to take hold… in a more rural setting. The rub in the want for “rural” is that I also couldn’t imagine being too far away from the water. I had family in Connecticut I could live with temporarily so I was very fortunate to land in a good mix of a country setting near shore life. 34 years later, I’m still here… just a half mile down the same road from where I came in for a landing all those years ago. I’ve had no regrets.

I loved reading your comments yesterday, learning a little about you and where you’re from, where you find your sense of place, and in a few cases, where you long to be. It’s clear in many of your answers, you have also found your sense of place, in some instances right where you’ve been all along. It’s a good feeling, a settled feeling, one that helps balance out all the other aspects of a life.

I also find my sense of place in the act of caring, always have. It started with my childhood pets, then an abandoned race horse I adopted and brought with me to CT… Every nickel I could rub together with another back then went to the care and comfort of my horse and gas in my car, let me tell ya. Wasn’t the most sensible thing to do but I managed alright regardless.

Shortly after, we started our family, my husband grew his business and we built a small horse farm – and I’ve been tending family and farm needs ever since, sprinkled with part time jobs and volunteer work, a short stint as an Artisan store owner, and 7 years as editor of our small local news source. I am forever grateful that I was able to raise my children as a stay at home mom. It occurs to me that I could have done more with myself by other people’s standards. I haven’t closed the door on that possibility yet – although being 3/4 deaf makes a few things much more difficult. But what I have been doing, what I do now… well, I feel at home, I feel I’m where I’m supposed to be, I feel productive – and that’s a gift, a real blessing I appreciate whole heartedly, will not allow myself to undervalue or overlook. I’m wishing you the same.

This morning I was reminded of all this as I worked my way through morning chores – Cloud, our rabbit who lives next to the Chickens got a freshly raked yard and was thrilled to be out in it after yesterday’s rain.

Old Max, Below – now 32 years old!… got a good shedding out, too.

Owned by a friend, he has been here with us for 7 years now.

He can no longer chew hay, his teeth ground down to almost nothing.

He gives it the old college try but it inevitably ends up

clumped around him, so we pump him up with three different grains and

grass out in the fields, which sustains the old boy pretty well.

The side porch that we all use most of the time to come and go from has an interesting new development. See the trellis with gate? It’s covered in New Dawn roses now, just a beautiful sight when it blooms. Robins are not the smartest of birds, I’ve concluded over the years. We often find Robin nests in less than desirable places, clearly they are confused by their Sense of place.. or lack thereof. A pair are currently building a nest right in the busy traffic lane here at This Old House.

They are undeterred by our comings and goings from the gate in the center of the trellis, inches from their nest. I’ll keep you posted on their.. tenacity? Stubbornness? Stupidity, but that’s such an unkind word.

Meanwhile, just a few feet from my desk out the window here on the front porch – the purple finch babies behind the lantern have hatched!

Speaking of birds and nests, the girlchild is coming home to our nest tonight

to have dinner with the ‘rents. I love when that happens.

I’ve got that Mountain Dew (Sprite) cake

on the counter just waiting, because Mama Bird I will always be.

Till soon, friends –

Thank you for stopping by 🙂

What’s Soda got to do with it?

A long time ago we were big soda drinkers. A staple on my husband’s family’s dinner table when he was young – a bottle of orange or coke or rootbeer soda. We smartened up years ago, and only occasionally enjoy the original Coke or a good Root Beer. But.. there are some fun recipes that are thoroughly enhanced by the addition of soda, like this cake below, using (my teeth ache just thinking about drinking this stuff) Mountain Dew! This is a nice light cake – not good for you at all in the healthful eating sense, but sometimes you just gotta give yourself a treat that has no other benefit than the YUM factor. Because CAKE.

Mountain Dew Bundt Cake

Ingredients

1 box Duncan Hines Lemon Supreme cake mix

1 (3.4 ounce) box Lemon Jell-O instant pudding mix

4 large eggs

1 (12 ounce) can Mountain Dew (equal to 1 1/2 cups if you’re pouring from a bottle of pop)
** I used Sprite instead of Mountain Dew

1/2 cup oil

Glaze

1/2 cup unsalted butter

1 cup sugar
10. 1/2 cup Mountain Dew

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. (yep, 325) Grease and flour a 10-cup Bundt cake pan/tube pan
. In a large bowl, combine the cake mix with the pudding mix. Add the eggs and oil, then
slowly add the Mountain Dew. Mix at medium speed until blended. Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 45-50 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in
the center comes out clean. Let the cake cool in the pan for five minutes, then transfer cake to a wire rack.

Glaze directions: While cake is still slightly warm, melt 1/2 cup unsalted butter in a saucepan over low heat.
Add 1 cup of sugar and 1/2 cup Mountain Dew to the melted butter. Turn up heat and bring to
a boil, stirring often. Boil for two minutes and remove from heat.
8. Poke holes in cake with a wooden skewer or the tines of a fork, then spoon hot glaze over
cake. Cool completely before serving.

This photo, taken at Barbara Bush’s funeral services, makes me smile for several reasons. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

*yesterday he was admitted to the ICU, doesn’t surprise me that he

might go so shortly after her passing. They were a team in every sense

of the word. Life without her must be unimaginable for him.

I’ve been debating changing blog platforms to WordPress, simply because Blogger is free and powered by Google and therefore there are no guarantees it will be around forever – think of seven years of blogging all gone should they decide to fold. Anyone out there have experience with WordPress? Opinion? It seems like it might be more technical than I’d like. I am NOT tech savvy, and blogger has been relatively easy.

Another blogger with a much larger following posed the question – where are you from? I enjoyed reading the answers and learning where her many readers hail from and live now. So, I’d like to do that here. Years ago this blog had a lot more traffic as we documented the resurrection of The Old House. Now, on average, approximately 150 readers stop by here daily as you browse blogs and a handful of you leave comments on occasion, which I enjoy reading. If you’re so inclined, in the comments, leave your city or state or town of origin, other areas you’ve lived and where you live now (just what you’re comfortable with). I’d love to hear from you.

It’s a new day, all – let’s make it a good one. PS – the sun is SHINING here again today – Amen!

Here Comes the Sun

Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It’s all right

Star magnolia tree in our side yard,

a mother’s day gift from my daughter

a few years back 💗

We are rejoicing in the reappearance of the sun. Temps are still on the chilly side.. but we have green. We have warmth, we have that golden glow in the sky. Amen.

The chickens are sun and dust bathing again…

The horses grazing…

We have a little side deck off the kitchen sliders – the wood heats up when the sun is out and ooh, does it feel good to lay out there, back pressed to the wood, soaking up the rays – which we did quite a bit of yesterday, me and the dogs, and for ten mintues, even the husband.

The grass is greening up, the horses are shedding their winter coats and birds are nest building with some of that horse hair. Egg laying has commenced.

Purple finch eggs behind our porch lantern

The forsythia is just beginning to bloom, weeks late, ever so hesitantly – and daffodils that are not planted in the shade are blooming. The others still need convincing. The seeds my guys planted are out in the little greenhouse sprouting away, too soon to safely live out in the garden plot, so we wait. These below are purple peppers I ordered from Bakers Heirloom Seed Co. I look forward to tasting this new-to-me variety come summer.

I was never overly fond of the Bush Family, but I have certainly admired Barbara Bush for her strength and tenacity, dedication to literacy of our children, her devotion to her family and to the grace and dignity she brought to her position over the years. May she rest in peace –

Let me tell ya – we can laugh about the following little ditty… but it’s absolutely true up here in this house.

Sharing this Good-For-You meal found in Family Circle, perfect for Spring and Summer –

Zucchini Noodles with Asparagus, Peas and Bacon

1/2 pound asparagus

1 yellow pepper, seeded

8 ounces bacon, cut into 1-inch pieces

2 pounds spiralized zucchini

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1 cup milk

2 large cloves garlic, grated

1 cup frozen peas, thawed

1/4 cup basil, very thinly sliced

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Directions

1Trim woody ends from asparagus and peel bottom 2 inches if needed; slice on the bias into 1/4-inch-thick pieces, leaving tips intact. Cut pepper lengthwise into 8 pieces, then slice crosswise into 1/4-inch strips.

2Heat a large stainless skillet over medium. Add bacon and cook until crispy, 8 to 9 minutes. Transfer to a paper-towel-lined plate. Pour off bacon fat, then return 2 tbsp fat to skillet.

3Meanwhile, heat a large nonstick skillet over medium and cook zucchini and 1/4 tsp salt, covered, until crisp-tender, 5 to 6 minutes, stirring occasionally. Drain zucchini.

4Add yellow pepper to bacon fat; cook 1 minute. Add asparagus; cook 1 minute more. Sprinkle vegetables with flour and cook 30 seconds, stirring well.

5Stir in milk and garlic. Add peas and half each of the bacon and basil. Cook until sauce thickens, about 4 to 5 minutes. Remove from heat.

6Add zucchini, 1/4 tsp salt and the black pepper, and toss to coat. Transfer to a serving dish and sprinkle with remaining basil and bacon. Serve immediately.

Have a good day, all – and thank you for stopping by.

Little reprieves, a Seaside Stroll and a healthy recipe for Bikini Season (ha!)

Still real chilly around here. 30 degrees on April 20th.

Ask me how much I love Friday mornings, when my daughter comes to the farm to do the barn chores and I get to lounge around a little before getting on with the day. I’ve been taking care of horses for 34 years now. For 34 years, no matter what the weather, twice daily, I have been up and out to the barn to feed and water and muck and rake and turn out …then to do it again in the evening. That’s on top of raising a family, holding down whatever jobs I’ve had (worn several hats in that department) and hold down the family fort.

There’s no doubting – animals (in particular, livestock) are a huge commitment. Eight years ago I added chickens to the mix and I absolutely love them. I wouldn’t trade it, it’s a life I chose and worked for and defend now and then… but there are moments when I look forward to an easier life. That won’t happen until my geriatric crew has all passed on, for I won’t give up on them up in their golden years . They’ve all been with me a long time, done their jobs, brought me much joy (ok maybe not on those really frigid mornings and evenings when my boots are soggy and fingers stinging cold before I’m halfway through. )

Someday, we will move down to live at the summer cottage from June through September of our golden years, when we don’t have the herd up on the hill to tend to. I might just bring a very small flock of chickens and of course, my dogs, with me.

For now, we’ll enjoy Stella as we currently do – with day trips and evening strolls and dinner on the deck and swimming and clamming and kayaking in the cove. 💗

Despite the cold and snowy rainy weather, I’ve been taking the dogs for walks when it won’t soak me. Frasier and I went down to the cottage two days ago to explore a little beach we hadn’t known was open to all residents and get our exercise in. Although it was yet another gray day, we saw signs that the Island is definitely beginning to wake up. Our neighbor, just in from her own walk, had deposited mulch bags around her spring garden, and another was opening up windows, airing out her cottage.

Garlic Mushroom Quinoa recipe HERE.

Always looking for healthy meal choices,

this looks pretty good… and bikini season
is just around the corner, don’t ya know.
Time to work off the donuts.. (ha!)

Till soon, friends –

Rambling Rose

Because sometimes a post title just doesn’t come to ya.

Happy 22nd Birthday to my boy, who I adore more than it seems possible. We’re so proud of the kind, responsible, hard working young man he’s become. I’m one of those ridiculous moms who’s children are literally my everything. My children are truly my greatest accomplishment in life. Is it ridiculous? I don’t know, I bet most of you moms feel the same way most of the time. ( we all have those “other” moments) My life is busy with my editing work, farm chores, volunteer activities, my hobbies and family life – but “family life” is on the top of my importance list, always. 💗

Since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia last year, I’ve been struggling with the diagnosis, which is a tricky thing because after all the tests and all is said and done, they can’t tell you why you’re experiencing so much pain and inflammation everywhere – it just is. What??…. that’s frustrating.

If you suffer the same affliction, I can tell you this. Diet helps. Cut out the crap, literally. Sugar and Gluten are not your friend if you suffer from fibro. Too much dairy consumption also isn’t great. I’ve cut down big time on all three things (didn’t totally eliminate) and it has helped. Also… exercise. That’s a big one. It’s real hard to make yourself work out, go for long walks, run on a treadmill, insert whatever form of exercise you prefer… when your body is telling you OW THAT HURTS..with every move you make. But.. it’s important to do so if you want to keep moving, and even feel better.

A wonderful physical therapist I was sent to this fall has taught me some very valuable tools. He said…. “Those who improve from this condition do the hard work – they keep moving, keep exercising, and work on their diet continuously. Those who give in to the pain and don’t do the hard work, don’t improve, they get worse. Also, when you’re exercising, tell yourself that nothing is actually broken, even though your body is sending you pain signals. Work through the pain, and it will gradually decrease.” He was so right. I have now been in a steady work out routine here at home for a few months and I am feeling better. Not awesome, not perfect, not pain free – but better. Amen.

What I currently do is watch my diet (but I do slip up here and there – not much willpower, I love food!), I’m using the WW app to track my food intake, and I’m light weight training in the gym at least five days a week, have even increased the weight, three sets of 12 reps of a variety of lifts I was taught by a good friend (Joey), and I either take the dogs on a long hike or sprint/jog/walk on the treadmill on crappy weather days (MANY LATELY!!).

What can I say about the current state of political affairs here in our country… Holy cow, what an absolutely bizarre point in our American History we have reached, on so many fronts.

For those who still embrace the 45 Cult, man, I give you credit for standing by your man. Sorta like Melania… can you imagine what their cosy evenings at home must look like now? And I’m not making fun of her, she didn’t ask for the three ring circus she now lives in. Truly feels like he’s just throwing all the sh*t against the wall and hey, let’s see what’ll stick.

The thing about 45 is, I don’t totally disagree with some of the things on his “list to fix”. He just can’t get past his giant ego and his sordid past to lead this country in any sort of respectable, commendable, responsible, honest way. Sad thing. He is truly his own worst enemy. That he knowingly had that past history, and didn’t figure out that it would ALL come home to roost for him if he won the presidency, is remarkable. People in Cult 45 still clamor for 2020, but I bet 45 wants nothing to do with it, now that he sees what this position he holds has done to his and more importantly, his family’s formerly fabulous unfettered life. He and they are now in the fishbowl and who knows what price they have yet to pay. What he did to Obama and others is now being done to him, tenfold. And he keeps asking for more. Strange times.

33 degrees here in Connecticut today – I donned hat and gloves yet again, mid April! to do barn chores this morning. Our friends in Canada and Vermont still have snow! We planted seeds, which are now in their containers in the greenhouse – growing, growing, with nowhere to go until we see REAL spring temps. The forsythia is trying to bloom.. weeks late… but the attempt is half-hearted.

Come on, Spring.. the world NEEDS you!

Till soon, friends…

Take Out

Yesterday the Mr. and I met down at the cottage to clear out a few pieces of furniture we are replacing with new stuff that suits the little living space better. If you can believe it, Mom and I had yet a second successful couch sit last week after I spied a couch for sale on FB at a really cool small home store on the Shoreline. As soon as I saw the photo I knew I had to ~~drag~~ accompany mom to the shop to see if she felt the same about the piece.

She was a good sport once again, and together we purchased the small couch AND a recliner especially for my guy, because we would indeed be removing his much loved but out-of-place wing back chairs we acquired when we bought and renovated This Old House, then transplanted to Stella as we threw furniture in there to get through the first year. We found in a tiny space, those wing backs are just too tall and overbearing, and they weren’t very beachy. The cheap couch we had bought for the same space inside Stella was just -blah- not particularly comfortable either. These pieces work well. The price was reasonable and the fabrics we chose are durable – (not what is shown in the photo) … we went with a hardy driftwood colored fabric for the couch and a pale sea green blue hardy fabric for the chair.

Stellas little “living room” before we removed the old furniture… a mix-match of perfectly good furniture that just doesn’t belong here in this space.

Stay tuned for the reveal.

After We moved the “stuff” out, I took some photos around the island (which is not really an island but that’s what it’s called) and below is what I captured…

A handsome duck

A momma Osprey in her nest…

Some graceful egrets fishing in the wetlands…

These two chillin on a rock…

and this fellow who hit the jackpot as far as Lunch is concerned..

a large fresh conch…

He saw me about 50 feet away standing behind my tripod and camera

and decided instead of dining at the restaurant,

this lunch might best be treated as Take Out.

I hope all is well in your world –

and thank you for stopping by.

Harry’s Farewell Party

The Mr. and I went to a wake last night in his childhood hometown. The services were for a well known and loved man who had run a bakery for many years there with his entire family. One of the most generous men you’d ever be lucky to meet – Harry would feed the homeless out the back door of his bakery, lend money to friends he’d never see returned, give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. The line was down the block and although it was a freezing cold day with winds whipping off New Haven Harbor, there was so much -warmth- among the people in attendance. Part of that was because of Harry himself, he brought people together by nature and he was always up for a party. But also… it was about where these people come from.

M and I both grew up in the congested suburbs of bigger cities, New York and New Haven. Blue collar families, police and fire families, immigrant families of different ethnicities as well as white collar families coexisted comfortably in close housing of all kinds. Mostly modest homes, postage stamp lots. As children we went out to play in the neighborhood and no one had to worry about our safety – we were among friends everywhere. That’s not to say there weren’t issues in the ‘hoods, but somehow it all blended in to a comfortable community.

We saw that camaraderie again last night as we waiting in that long line, all of us chattering Harry stories, consoling each other in the fact that we’ll never see him again. We half expected him to be standing at the door ushering people in with a joke and a cigarette and his pastry on a nearby table. People of all ages, ethnicities, economic levels were kind and affectionate with each other. Folks who hadn’t seen each other in 40 years embraced with tears and hugs and love. That kind of togetherness, that blending of so many differences into a likeness – a kindness – a friendly way of being… isn’t really seen as often where we live now. The more affluent shoreline communities certainly have plenty of good folks doing good things, but that relaxed “my home is your home” feeling, not so much.

What’s evident when we visit both our childhood communities is a deterioration of the old home structures, businesses too. Seems we lived in those areas in their hey-day. Sad thing and I’m not sure what economic realities are causing that to happen, or what can be done about it. I just know, growing up in those communities made us a more caring lot of people, an experience no amount of money can buy. It’s all in the heart, and both M and I are grateful for our community upbringing.

Harry died as we all hope to – in his mid eighties, peacefully asleep on his couch. He is being buried as he lived – surrounded by his loving and beloved family, his 1,000 friends in attendance, multiple family pictures in his casket, a pack of cigarettes, a picture of his favorite entertainer, Marilyn Monroe, his wedding ring on his finger – the lifetime love of his life and wife of 60 or so years by his side to help others say goodbye. This quote is Harry all the way –

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”

― Hunter S. Thompson,