Category: family

Better Together

 

Do you celebrate Cinco de Mayo?  …The fifth of May happens to be our first date 37 years ago. Holy shit – thirty seven years goes by in a flash.  A lot has happened in those 37 years… mostly good, some great, and some awful.  We have our differences, like big ones..  we were married, divorced and remarried all in our 20’s.  But… we come together in the most important ways and as I get older I value that more than anything else.   As anyone who has lived for a while knows….Life can be hard at times and having your best friend by your side through it all is a lifeline.   Better together.

 

Speaking of friendships, love and  lifelines… have you read the book or watched Firefly Lane on Netflix?  I loved it, I think in the  series they got it perfect, the love, the laughs, the trials, triumphs, the heartbreak even.  Give it a look or read  if you haven’t already.

I keep glancing at the political news and I just cannot believe all the dumbfuckery, the cruelties, the hypocracies  and the deceits.  Where can the truth be found… and trusted?  Where are the consequences?   And it’s hard to fathom that we don’t have better candidates to refresh our political landscape with something more logical, forward thinking,  honest,  folks with a –better together –  mentality.  Jeeezus, all the corruption.  And  all the old men should just go. Just… go.

I’ve been walking with Kai on local trails, hope to expand our horizons elsewhere in the state soon, the ticks have been brutal already.  I have yet to find an all natural spray that actually repels them all, but maybe it’s helping somewhat.  If you have suggestions, please leave them in the comments.  The trails, the woods, the fields, the rock outcroppings, the shoreline… just beautiful.  It’s where I recharge and I love having a dog to share the hikes with, he motivates me to get out there, keep moving.   Better together.

Our grandson is doing well, despite being born so early he is tiny but mighty and growing, thankfully.  Almost two months old 💙 Our granddaughter is due in a few weeks! Say a prayer for a safe and healthy delivery for mama and baby, will you?  To watch both my children become parents at the same time, and us becoming grandparents! (which we just love beyond  description!) .. is such a gift.

 

 

I like to make a fruit/greens smoothie at breakfast time occasionally – a favorite mix is frozen dark cherries, a banana, some honey, a handful of blueberries and a handful of spinach.  Delish!  and good for you. Try it!

This farm continues to give me peace as I tend the critters and the barn, appreciate the gardens and walk the fields and give thanks for our journey  to here.

I hope all is well in your world,  thank you for stopping by.

Till soon,

 

We’re all just walking each other home

 

….. one of my most favorite quotes, attributed to Ram Dass, an American spiritual leader of the 1970s.  This country and the world at large is in big trouble on so many levels, all because of the flaws in humanity.  Recently I am making every effort to focus on the uplifting things, and that quote is one of them.  It truly helps me to believe in that simple concept and gives me inspiration to do whatever little good  and truly see it anywhere it can be found.

I don’t have much to say here right now, just that I am enjoying my new grandson immensely and watching my daughter become the wonderful mother we all knew she’d be.

We’ve had some glorious weather and I’ve been out in it, soaking it all up, getting some exercise, enjoy this farm and the woods and the shoreline trails.

Till soon –

 

My Sunshine

 

Being a grandmother is something I have looked forward to since my kids grew into adults.  I have missed the baby stage and all those in between.. with the exception of the moody teenager who knows everything everywhere all at once, with attitude.  Our grandson was born six weeks early and spent two weeks in the NICU just to be certain he was strong enough to come home with his parents.  He was and he is thriving, having had his first pediatric check up yesterday with a glowing report.  He is my little sunshine and I am so very proud of the mother my daughter became instantly.   I love that my own mother gets the chance to be a great grandmother, too.

My daugher-in-law is due with  baby girl in May, stay tuned!  She sent me a picture she found of a beautiful easy-to-make spring centerpiece and I absolutely love it.  So easy to throw together, too…. use a clear vase – almost any shape will do… a bunch of carrots with the greens still attached, a handful of tulips… put the carrots in the vase with greens sticking out of the top, place tulips in the center of the greens, and fill with water 🥕 🌹

The above is mine, and below is my neighbor’s 🐇 – love the purple tulips!

With the warmer weather I’m more inclined to get out for walks/hikes and get those recommended 10,000 daily  steps in.   That’s harder than it would seem, but I have been managing to come close and if I take an extended hike/walk I surpass it.  Of course, I’m using my phone health app to monitor and I don’t wear my phone on my person at all times, so it’s possible I’m getting quite a bit more in than what’s recorded.  A recent physical indicated elevated cholesterol, which runs in my family, but a subsequent scan of arteries reveals no disease  and I really really want to stay away from statins so I’m tweaking my diet (plenty of room to improve!) and sticking to a decent exercise routine.  Can you believe I still haven’t lost the 25 pounds I’d like to lose? Oh, it comes off in little bits and then jumps right back up to that yucky number.  I’m not giving up though… for me, it’s what I’m putting in my mouth, not a lack of working out.  Ask me how much I love food though!  It’s my drug of choice and I like to cook and bake for others, which kinda sucks when there’s a weight loss goal to be achieved.

Bob’s Pond  and Hammonasset River Trail with my trail buddy, Kai.  Yesterday was a beautiful spring day, so we took advantage of the inspiration and explored land trust trails.

 

The sight and sound of the roiling river was music to my soul.  As a hearing impaired person, to be able to still hear this force of water is a gift 🙂

I could talk about the horror of the newest school shooting and that hideous fact that death by fire arms is now the leading cause of death for children in this country, but I am so weary and so disgusted by the lack of any action by the powers that be… and for all the wrong reasons… but I’ll leave it here with my mother’s words below…

*Thoughts and Prayers*
Let’s send thoughts and prayers again.
It worked the last time
and the time before that and the one before that.
It did work, it must have
because we haven’t done much of anything else!
Thoughts and prayers because it can’t be guns.
The NRA says it’s not and they would know
and tell us the truth.
They don’t benefit from a flush gun industry.
Do they?
Thoughts and prayers because….
the Second Amendment says that’s all that’s allowed
according to the NRA and many legislators.
Besides guns don’t kill people, people kill people.
People kill children.
People kill children with guns.
We can put flowers outside the schools, the churches,
the synagogues, the mosques, the supermarkets.
That’s allowed,
Along with the thoughts and prayers, of course.
Just not sensible gun laws.
Meaningful legislation is not necessary.
It will upset the NRA, the Gun Lobby, the Insurrectionists,
the White Supremacists.
Limited magazines not necessary, background checks at gun shows
not necessary!
So, here we are, left with thoughts and prayers
And flowers.
Always the flowers and the candles, against the fences.
As for more mass shootings
Well, tomorrow’s another day.
Mourning in America!
I’m not a religious person but I find myself praying for us all .. often.   I hope all is well in your neck of the woods, thank you for  taking the time to stop in here, your comments and thoughts are always appreciated .

 

Just Call Me GRAM ! ❤

My first born had her first born on Saturday!! We are over the moon in love with our precious grandson.  He was in a hurry, apparently, so he is six weeks early. However, and Amen… he is healthy and doing great!   So is his mother, whom I am so very proud of ❤

 

    There’s something about being in a hospital that gives you such a diverse slice of humanity. So many stories passing by- the joyous, the tragic, the troubled, and everything in between. The highly educated and skilled and affluent, the poor and struggling, the healthy and the unwell, the families, the elderly, the living and the dying. Those who love their jobs no matter how demanding and draining and fraught with difficulty, both emotional and physical , and those who begrudgingly get through their shift.
I can of course only speak from my own experiences and being so hard of hearing, I pay much more attention to those around me than I suppose the average person might. What I notice are the wealthiest among us are not for certain those walking around with Gucci bags and a stellar wardrobe and a fine education and important meetings and places to be. It’s not even the healthiest among us, although that’s a treasure one should value above all … Nope. It’s the people who have enough love within that they freely shine it on others regardless of their circumstances, in the warm greetings and casual smiles in passing, the little courtesies, the big ones, the sharing of stories and commiseration , the compassion shown to strangers, the nurses and healthcare staff who are exhausted, who have seen so much heartbreak, but still show up and shine their light and do the hard things, and do them with kindness. It’s the people who embrace without effort the notion that we are all in this together , that truly get the most out of life. They have what matters most.
Till soon –

The Happening You Must Focus On

 

 

     It is easy to mourn the lives we aren’t living. Easy to wish we’d developed other talents, said yes to different offers. Easy to wish we’d worked harder, loved better, handled our finances more astutely, been more popular, stayed in the band, gone to Australia, said yes to the coffee or done more bloody yoga.
     It takes no effort to miss the friends we didn’t make and the work we didn’t do and the people we didn’t marry and the children we didn’t have. It is not difficult to see yourself through the lens of other people, and to wish you were all the different kaleidoscopic versions of you they wanted you to be. It is easy to regret, and keep regretting, ad infinitum, until our time runs out.
     But it is not the lives we regret not living that are the real problem. It is the regret itself. It’s the regret that makes us shrivel and wither and feel like our own and other people’s worst enemy.
     We can’t tell if any of those other versions would have been better or worse.      Those lives are happening, it is true, but you are happening as well, and that is the happening we have to focus on. ~Matt Haig
(Book: The Midnight Library) 
    I love that passage so much!  I also read the book, and while it wasn’t one of my favorite reads, it’s a good one… and that group of text above? Spot on.  Who among us hasn’t dreamed another dream, had a few regrets, wasted too much time on what isn’t.  And we all know, life is short and too precious for such nonsense.  I am a firm believer in making the best of every day, even when I catch myself doing anything but.  Then I readjust the sails.
     The new barn has been a Godsend here on the farm. Both of our girlies are very pregnant and I’ve taken over all barn chores again, which means a lot of water buckets and hay bales and stall mucking etc. etc.   With the yoga and stretching/meditation I’ve taken up, my body is faring better than I had expected. 40 plus years of all that work  has left me with some arthritis and worn parts, blah blah. But it’s also made me a strong work horse and I’m grateful to  still be able to do it. And I love those animals so.  They are my heart and my peace and my salvation often.  We got our first real snow of the winter on march 1st.  In New England, that’s just strange. But it’s made all that work easier on this older girl.
      I have always felt the sky is like  a painting we live under, it’s landscape always changing, and all we ever need to do is look up to see the mood of the moment, the beauty of nature, the temperament of the weather gods.  Who hasn’t marveled at a full moon rising, the night stars on a cloudless night, the rolling roiling storm clouds coming across the horizon or the gorgeous colors of a beautiful sunrise-sunset.  On the hill and fields of this farm we have what I call big sky country, a big patch of blue  with  many glorious sunrises and sunsets.
  I made a few more recipes from The Lost Kitchen files…
New England baked beans and brown bread –  first time I ever bought a slab of salt pork, had to ask the butcher where to find it at the store.
 And Waldorf Salad – with apples, celery, Fennel, arugula, lemon juice and zest,  candied walnuts, mayo, salt & pepper… SOOO GOOD!
     The Mr. turned 59!  We had a lovely family dinner at one of our favorite restaurants near our Stella by the Sea.  Our mothers are still with us and we are so grateful they are here to meet their first great grands.
 Cheers to many more years!
 I completed the Woodstock, VT  Middle bridge painting, whose true angles are a bit skewed in any photo taken, so this was a real challenge and it’s far from perfection, but I’m glad I attempted it.  The bridge for me  represents many happy family memories there  and hopefully more to come.  The lighted star up on the hill is the first thing I look for when we drive into town.
   Had a physical this week, and it’s clear I need to get serious about cleaning up my diet.  Cholesterol numbers less than stellar, weight – about 25 pounds overweight.  Bleh.  I get plenty of exercise, so… as the doctor has often said… it’s what you put in your mouth.   Each new day is a chance to get it right.. right? I’m making a concerted effort to improve those numbers.  Being a food loving person and one who likes to cook and bake for others, it ain’t easy.
      I hope all is well in your neck of the woods – till soon 🌹

The State of Things…

 

I don’t even watch the news anymore, rarely skim the headlines, truly shy away from anyone posting political crap on social media, and I used to be one who chirped.. a lot!  I just cannot believe the utter shit show across the entire political system, our governing bodies.    I decided my sanity and well being is more important than absorbing all the toxic noise, misinformation, ignorance.  And we all know in our deepest well of knowledge that we don’t change the heart or mind of another person who will believe what they want to believe, no matter the detriment to themselves or others.  So I stopped trying to do that, too.  And I must admit, I’m not so sure those I trusted are trustworthy enough.

It’s freeing!  I’m spending more time improving the quality of the work I put into my day job, this farm, the critters in my care, my family, myself. I picked up the paint brush again and completed a piece for a friend, and I have a new one on the easel.  It all feels like the right thing to do.

The completed piece –  this tells the beginning story of an immigrant who was born in this house ( no hospitals anywhere near) and raised here until his family moved (legally!) to this country for a better way of life.  They have worked very hard for a long time with two successful businesses now  and just built a beautiful barn and home  here in town.  He wanted this painting made as a reminder of their journey.

New on the easel… when completed it will be a snowy scene of a Vermont covered bridge in a  town we visit often, many good memories and hopefully more to be made.

The weather has been good and bad and iffy and good and bad again. In between raindrops or frigid temps I’ve been walking with Kai again, and recently my son and I have gone on a few short hikes. It feels good to keep going.. and we’ll get more hikes in when weather permits.

This is Deer Lake Reservation, which has just been sold by the Boy Scouts of America after a lengthy campaign by locals and state representatives to save it from development, to Pathfinders, which will keep it as a camp and public recreation area and wildlife refuge.  There are extensive trails, too.. this is a BIG WIN for nature, for campers and the general public who appreciate and recognize the value of open space.  There are many cabins the scouts and other campers used, and they will be kept up by the new owner and used in summer camp programs.

This quartz wedged in a large boulder looks like teeth!

We’ve also been down to the shore for some winter walks…

This next scene is going to be my next painting, on a bigger canvas for the living room if it comes out decent.  I am so grateful for this New England lanscape, diverse and beautiful in all seasons.

Our girls are in the second trimester of their pregnancies now, we are all so exciting for  Jonathan and Mia to arrive.  The eternal worrier in me keeps praying all will go well for both moms to be and their babies, and the dads as well!   Baby showers being planned, I’ve already got a shelf full of childrens books I’ve been collecting for many years ( I’m a big fan).  The baby clothes nowadays are so much more fun than when we were young mothers!  and the baby equipment too.

I hope all is well in your neck of the woods or piece of the plains,  spit of sand on the shore or your stamp on suburbia…  what have you been doing to stay sane in these troubling times?… creativity, better health, new horizons, perhaps travel again?    Covid is running rampant again around these parts, my son and daughter-in-law just got over it.  People are masking up again….just.. ugh.

closing this post with a few pieces I’ve found inspiring or profound…

 

Till soon-

 

Merry Happy

So many people going through so much stuff, life is definitely not a cake walk for just about anyone… don’t judge the book by it’s cover and all that.  The holidays can exasperate whatever is troubling, so my wish for anyone still reading my drivel  here is that you are finding some joy and peace of mind this holiday season.

 

I am a sentimental fool,   and while that trait brings along with it some pain,  it’s worth it to have the heart.  I have traditions in this old house and the ones before it… some recipes from ancestors long gone, traditions I’ve kept with my kids from the time they were little…decorations reminiscent of my grandmother’s home, ornaments my mother had on our childhood tree.   My favorite collection, though, are the people around the table.  As life rolls along, we lose some of our loved ones, and we gain new members. The circle of life.

I love my mom’s holiday spirit! Her mother, my Nana… used to do the same.. she decorated ALL THE THINGS..  even including little red bows on picture frames ….

Christmas Punch!

The barn renovation is complete – and all horses, goats and chickens are moved in.  For this aging body, having done barn chores for the bast 40 plus years, it is a beautiful thing to have it all consolidated into one building. When we moved to This Old House from our previous farm, I thought I was winding down my farm animal operations and focusing on other things.  But… my daughter continued her interest in showing (we’re done with that) and I found chicken keeping entertaining and fruitful!… and then .. well, goats.  The small outbuildings we brought in for them worked… but going from one to the other especially in storms or winter weather was more work.  We converted our three stall row shed type horse barn to a full center aisle barn with chicken coop/goat stall/ horse stalls all in one building and with this past few days 19 degree temps and freezing water, etc., it’s been a welcome improvement during chores.

Both my daughter and my daughter in law are expecting babies in the Spring, we are over the moon excited to welcome baby Jonathan and Baby Mia to our family.  I’ve tried on all the common grandmother names… Gigi, Mimi, Nana, Nanny, grandma, Nonni, Nonna, loli, Lolly, and  I’ve decided I am really just a Gram.  If I had my way, everyone and anyone would just call me Karen or Mom, but not everyone is comfortable with that, so be it.  (not the new and bastardized politicized meaning for Karen, by the way.  Ugh, that is disappointing).

If you’re so inclined, tell me what’s new in your neck of the woods, what brings you joy these days, any traditions you care to share – leaving a few things below that bring me inspiration… wishing you all good things in the coming year, and THANK YOU for stopping in –

                   

 

Till soon –

 

33

 

My oldest baby is 33 years old today.  Holy cow, time flies.  She has overcome and continues to wrestle with an obstacle no one sees or can fully understand (TBI from car accident many moons ago) and she THRIVES regardless – building a beautiful life for herself and her little family as she goes.  Cheers to many more years and many more good things to come 🥂🍾❤🌻🧁

Meanwhile… back at the ranch, can you stand a few more fall pictures?  New England at her finest – and I just keep saying to myself as I walk the fields and woods, drive the country roads.. man, there just has not been a more glorious fall in all the years I can remember.  I see from your comments in the previous post you are finding the same where you live.

Leah and Max enjoying the glorious weather

The barn project continues… we are trying to get it all done before the snow flies this winter…. oh how I hope this comes to fruition because right now with the horses in temporary housing on the hill and the turn out routine,  feed supplies and mucking tools scattered.. it’s more work and my neck and shoulders are bitching.

My son’s dog Leo loves going to work with “dad”.

 

And below.. the old barn gutted… to be rehabbed into the new.

There is more good news hopefully on the horizon, but I can’t yet share it out of an abundance of caution.  What I can say is, living with fibromyalgia as I have for many years, I have learned some of the triggers for a flare, and one of the big ones is stress and worry.  And Lord, I am a worrier.  I haven’t yet discovered how to loosen that thread from the fabric I am made of.  But this mantra helps remind me when a new “worry” arrives …. there’s even a magnet on my fridge with these words……

    Easier said than done, I know it.  But in my older years I am trying to let go of some of the old habits that don’t serve me well.  This is one of them. Let go or be dragged.     I know you know the woe.    Another is losing that extra 20 or so pounds I really really hate dragging around.  It doesn’t sound like a huge problem, but mentally it drags me and on this small frame, physically too.  Bleh.   I’ve tried various things, and I am very active.  What it really comes down to is stress and worry eating… and I love to cook for the people I love (which includes me, lol).

And you know, I really do like me and it took me far too long to realize this.  Why does it take us so long to arrive at that destination?  Think of all the problems it would solve if we were born and grew up liking/LOVING! ourselves and knowing our worth.

Wishing you all good things, and thank you for stopping in.

A Glorious Fall

Oh how I love this season!  I don’t really have a favorite season, do you?  There is something magical in each, if you ask my two cents worth.  This particular fall is one of the most glorious I have witnessed so far. The summer’s long dry spell and the sudden onslaught of heavy rains for days must be the right combination of “stuff” to make the leaves turn magical here in New England.  The colors are just extraordinary!  How is it looking in your neck of the woods?   The Mr. and I took a ride this weekend to one of our favorite spots after picking up sandwiches at a nearby deli… and I snapped some pictures along the way.  Just.. So… Gorgeous.

Here on the farm, we’ve been working on some projects.. replacing rotted fencing… it’s been TWELVE YEARS since we renovated and moved into this old farm house and property and the split rail needs replacing.  Holy cow, time flies, friends.    So far we’ve managed the dog yard, which is a pretty big area.  AND, we’ve installed a gate at the driveway entrance because Google maps or whatever alien life designates the streets on those things has decided our driveway is a road to somewhere else.  And it is not.  And then the drivers get annoyed because they aren’t getting where the map tells them they should be as we wave them down and tell them to SLOW DOWN and  please go back to the road because they’re on private property.  Which annoys them.  Imagine!   Hence.. the gate.

We’re also giving the horse barn a big facelift!  In our 35-ish years together, M and I have had four farms, built four homes and four barns.  When we took on This Old House I thought we would be winding down the livestock part of our farm endeavor, so we built a relatively small barn for the horses.  Then came the goats.  And the Chickens.  And another horse.. or two.  With those critters came their small outbuildings.  And in winter, when the snow flies and accumulates, let me tell you… … it’s a lot of work shoveling and moving hay and grain and shavings and water to where it needs to go, and this Mother Hen is no spring chicken.  *ahem.    So.. the new barn is being added on to the old structure and will be much more efficient than the current system we’ve had.  All those outbuildings have a new home with another chicken farmer.

In other news, my daughter just got engaged! These two live right next door and we are thrilled for their happiness!

With the evenings longer and more time spent indoors, I’ve been finding some time to read again for pleasure.  Gladys Taber is an author of years gone by, and one of my very favorites. I have at least seven of her books pertaining to her beloved Stillmeadow Farm in Southbury, CT and whenever I need a reprieve from the larger world and it’s “heavy”, I pick up a Still meadow book and read, and relax into her world of  grace, peace and country sensibility.  It’s like watching  that old movie, White Christmas with Bing Crosby et al.  Her books are no longer in print, but they are still found in old book stores, online and if you’re really lucky, while hunting through someone else’s discarded treasures.

I hope this finds you well and contented, and if you’re so inclined, let me know how things are going with you and yours!

Till soon –

 

Showing Up

The drought this year has been brutal, hasn’t it?  Our lawns are literally crunchy. Of course this was the summer we decided to tame our back yard garden, tossing what got way too large for it’s space, planting many new perennials and a few  flowering cherry trees.  So, that’s meant watering watering watering,  we are thankful for a very good well here on the farm.  Down at Stella by the Sea, we gave up on any ideas of green grass. I have managed to keep the potted geraniums and sweet potato vine alive and the tomatoes from that little garden have been heavenly.  Up here on the farm, the yield has been.. meh.  And it’s already spent.

Stella tomatoes…

A Stella Sunset taken last night by another photographer with a drone at extreme low tide… where you can walk across the entire cove without getting your waist wet.  The water rises about six feet at high tide, so the boats that use our cove have to navigate when they should  come and go.

Miss Molly is doing very well here with us, she and Lacey are definitely a team now, and she continues to astound us with her navigation abilities.  She knows our voices and whinnies when we come to the barn at feed time, she knows where the gate is and comes right to it to be led in to their stall.  When she wants to find Lacey in their paddock she stands still and listens for the bell tied in lacey’s mane, and walks right over to her, as if she had sight.  It truly, truly amazing.

More wedding photos, the photog versions have arrived….. Indeed the whole darn lot of us had some good old fashioned fun ✨

Mom and my son…. (she was the JP)

Cousins, Me, Sister, Niece 💕

 

Boyz to Men   –  They all grew up together, went to school together, played sports together, and two have joined the group by becoming family… I just love this photo for so many reasons.

The night goes so fast, as they always do when you’re having fun.  It was something we all needed, and we all cut loose.  It’s times like these that remind us how it feels to be really alive, all in, enjoying each other’s company, casting worries and stress aside.    We definitely showed up.  When you get the chance… take it.

Leaving you with these wise words right here… I am ALL ABOUT THIS from here on out…  So done with the self criticisms, I am so grateful to be here to experience the whole process.    We’re winning, friends….  every single blessed day… we are winning.

 

Till soon, friends…