family – Page 4 – This Old House 2

As I set the table on Thanksgiving morning the stark reality of what this particular day’s table looks like settled into my gut. Not only was that table far less crowded due to pandemic precautions, ( our mothers and any extended family stayed home) … but the man who sat at the far end head of the table is no longer with us because of the same virus that keeps us apart. Dad wasn’t a church goer- but he took pride in saying grace before the big meal, and so it was his job each Thanksgiving. That moment was the hard one, and became a moment of silence instead.

Sending love from our house to all of yours, a hug to those who observed the empty seat, and for those who couldn’t join with their families in the usual traditions. May Grace and gratitude find us all in the days to come, there is truly so much to be thankful for

This and that and out and about

Just when we thought 2020 couldn’t get any more bizarre……

I need to make this clear before I go any further… I don’t wish harm or illness on anyone, ever. That being said… it’s no surprise that the POTUS contracted Covid, is it? As well as almost half his staff and a family member or two. Not to mention the myriads we don’t know about who attended his maskless rallies in recent months and the myriads of dead (over 200,000 now and counting) because he chose to treat the whole thing as a “Democratic Hoax” in the initial, crucial first months. He has no one to blame but his own arrogance, ignorance, greed. It’s mind boggling. A day ago I thought to myself….. perhaps… this experience will humble him some and he will come out of it with more empathy and smarts for the rest of us moving forward. No… yesterday’s photo-op in a sealed car where he is again putting his secret servicemen at risk proved otherwise. When he was initially diagnosed he also attended an event knowing he tested positive.. without notifying anyone until he was back at the WH. He is so unfit for the position he holds.. on so many levels. There are no excuses worthy of keeping him there. I implore anyone reading this.. PLEASE.. vote him out in November. Please.

The debate? What a sh*t show. What a shame. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

My son’s house just over the hill is almost complete – move-in day is just two weeks away and I am so excited for them. As with my daughter’s home next door, the upstairs will remain unfinished for now, an effort to keep the mortgage down, expenses manageable. When either start a family of their own, the second floors will be finished. When we bought This Old House and renovated her beginning in 2009, this was exactly what we had envisioned for the property – Being in the home building business, my husband has a good eye for property potential and I have been in love with this old house (“Saving Grace ” or Gracie as I call her) since my teen years. We are so very lucky to have been able to acquire her and bring her back to life, and turn this farm into a family compound. That both of my children are as enthusiastic about this farm as we are is more than just icing on the cake.

M & M… at the granite/marble warehouse picking out counter granite…

Installed last week, and it is beautiful… She is also an “M”… when she saw the kitchen almost finished she said… I am not worthy of this kitchen!… but she absolutely is, in spades. Not only has she worked hard to pursue a career in the optics field, she is already a good cook as well. I couldn’t be happier for my son, who has chosen a great partner to share life with. More announcements on that front in the near future.

Meanwhile… I continue to find respite on this farm, my Saving Grace. The GoatGirlz, Star and Bella are thriving here. We are all enamored with these two silly girls and their calls to us whenever they spot us nearby.

Leah has become very comfortable with being a “home” horse instead of a show horse… and we’re thinking we aren’t going to return to the show world in the near future. The Sh*t Show is still out there.

On the health front, I have lost a solid 10 pounds in the last month, the next ten will be harder. My relationship with food is complicated. I love it, I love to make it for myself and especially for others, it is my anxiety and boredom reliever and has been for my entire life. Bad habits are hard to break! But.. with less sugar and carbs in my diet, I am feeling better overall – the fibromyalgia pain is less. Onward…

We have not gotten as much use out of our little seaside cottage this year, too much going on around the farm and work, and of course not having the bigger gatherings there due to Covid concerns. Stella continues to be a refuge regardless and next year we’ll spend more time there for sure.

I’ve been trying to instill this next thought in my husband’s mind for 32 years now. All work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy. It actually makes him a very grumpy, overworked overtired boy. Last weekend I did manage to get him to take a day trip to one of his favorite destinations, Vermont… and he actually smiled for a while and took a few deep breaths. We came home with apples, cider and a pie from the Scotts Farms Orchard in Dummerston and cheese from the Grafton Cheese Factory – it was a very good day. The colors are not quite peak here in New England, and after the recent tropical storm, here near the shoreline there are a lot of BROWN trees from the sea salt-stained winds.

Wishing you all good health and the happiness to be found in the places we call home, the family we love and the time we make for ourselves – it’s so important.

Till soon –

This and that on a rainy Sunday

Not very creative with the blog post title, ay? But it is raining on this Sunday afternoon and I can justify sitting here to blog for a bit.

How have you all been, what’s it like in your neck o’the woods regarding pandemic living? Here in New England, many are abiding the mask wearing in public tight quarters spaces. Our town Hall is still only open by appointment and working via e-mail, phone, etc. for the most part. Businesses are open with the restrictions many of you are familiar with. Strange times. I don’t yet feel comfortable sitting indoors in a restaurant, but we have dined at a few with outside patios.

I feel sorry for the teachers who are dealing with a mess of kids wearing masks (talk about awkward and frustrating) … and the fear some of them are feeling being so exposed if they’ve been very vigilant in their own social distancing. And I feel sorry for the youth who have been so restricted in their socialization and education experience. Parents are trying to assuage their fears, balance work and home and childcare needs, a nightmare, really. Healthcare workers are now seeing the second wave, according to my friends in that field. Every sniffle, every achy muscle day (for me that’s always, damned fibromyalgia) every scratchy sore throat brings a little thread of dread – is it the virus? The bad kind, the mild kind or the no symptom kind? .. should I quarantine? Should my husband and I be sleeping in separate beds? (hey, sometimes that’s actually appealing anyway) Jeez I wore my mask, washed my hands,…. the anxiety of it all rolls on and on…. I no longer wipe down every single surface of every item I bring home from the grocery store though, as I did initially. That got old and tedious and felt like overkill. Washing the produce and washing my hands after handling feels like it’s enough.

We’ve been getting stuff done around the farm, my daughter and her significant other love their home nextdoor and it’s a joy to see them mowing lawn, weeding garden, seeing the back door light go on at night while they let the dogs go potty. And having my daughter nearby to share the barn chores again is a huge blessing. My son is building his home on a lot at the back of our farm. I may have mentioned it’s what we do for a living, home building, so this is one area where we -get stuff done- in rapid succession and at a more reasonable price than the typical homeowner.

A glimpse of my son’s home to be – the red “barn” is his garage… the interior of the home being done slowly as materials, labor and bartering come along, the upstairs will remain unfinished until they become a young family. The goal is to have as minimal a mortgage as possible (young couple and all that goes with it).

The joy these two goat girls give us are immeasurable. They are so friendly, talking to us all the time, from a distance and right up close. Truly they are like two toddlers looking for our companionship and attention whenever we are outside.

The upcoming election – oh, man. ( here’s where you skip the next two paragraphs if you still remain a 45 supporter, I’m not looking to insult anyone) – It has taken a toll on me, watching what I believe is the slow unraveling of America as we (I? I shouldn’t speak for you) believed it to be. I’m sad for us all. I’m not a huge fan of B*den but I also recognize he’s not the slow sleezy do-nothing some would have you believe. His running mate choice was his best option in my opinion. I look forward to watching K*mala debate the deadwood P*nce. I am encouraged by some of my republican friends who are now saying there is no way in hell they would vote for Tr*mp again. One dyed in the wool republican neighbor said 45 is a trainwreck he’s ashamed he voted for and he will vote B*den come November. I’m hoping there are many many more out there like him. And yet…. there’s the uncertainty of what will happen should he lose. I doubt he’ll accept the results, no matter what they are, unless he is the winner. And there are so many nuts threatening civil war, it’s frightening. We are at a crossroads, this country… and I hope and pray and beg and plead for our collective soul to rise and rid itself of all the corruption, hate and fueled divide – especially the politicians, including the current P*TUS, who feed it relentlessly. We the people deserve better.

Yesterday it was reported the P*TUS lost his younger brother, of which he was close. I would imagine that is a very tough loss for him, and even more so now. While I despise what he’s doing to our Country, I find I have empathy regardless. Although the reason for his brother’s passing has not been revealed, I suspect he may have contracted COVID-19. When he was first reported as ill was precisely the same time the P*TUS started wearing a mask occasionally in public. I don’t know if we’ll ever know the truth of it. After having dismissed initial warnings about the virus and playing it down repeatedly for a length of time, well.. the irony and indeed the tragedy of it is what comes to mind. Of course, I’m speculating only.

Stella by the sea remains a respite for all of us. We each use it together and separately when free time comes up. It does my heart good to see the kids enjoy the kayaks, the grilling of burgers and hotdogs and roasting of marshmallows in the firepit with their friends (small safe gatherings are possible outdoors). I am loving my new kayak – the one that is discontinued and I bought for a bargain price. She glides through the water easily and while a little more tippy than my old steady Ruby, she’s fairly stable regardless and is more agile, lighter to carry. I have yet to come up with a name for her that feels right- but every vessel must have a proper name…… suggestions welcome. She’s red orange and yellow.

A photo I took while kayaking – some of the Thimble Islands out in the distance..

We finally laid my father to rest thanks to the kindness of dear friends who have a lovely old 1976 Egg Harbor boat. It was a small gathering, just my sister and I, my husband, my niece, and the lovely couple who took us up the Connecticut River to the mouth of the river into LI Sound – just beyond the lighthouse at Saybrook Point. Since it’s not technically legal to dump ashes there , that’s not technically what we were doing . There was the traditional burial Psalm 23 reading, we tossed white roses out into the waves along with what wasn’t really my father’s ashes in a biodegradable urn, and read the following below as well… my tears were for several reasons, but the most important one was the overwhelming knowledge in my heart that it was exactly as my father would want it – exactly where he wanted to be in the end. I felt a sincere closure for him and for me, and that is such a blessing.

Wishing us all good health and peace of mind during these trying times –

What remains

Just picked up my father’s personal effects – I cannot express adequately how strange it is to see his wrist watch in a bag, the ancient but still working glow in the dark dial, still keeping time as he was taking note not long ago…. the band that his wrist lived in for so many years. The gold chain and Anchor that he didn’t ever take off, from his boating /Staten Island guido days. A small delicate gold chain with a tiny anchor, heart and key in a gold box, all tangled, like the mystery of it’s owner. It must have belonged to someone who meant a lot to him for him to keep it, and yet I don’t know whose it was. How is that possible? I’ve spent an hour trying to untangle it, as if that will give me some answers. (Update: I managed it.) The worn wallet always in his jeans pocket. The body that anchored those things now ash in a biodegradable urn on a shelf waiting for the boat ride to his final resting place- his request. The photo books we made for him are worn, indicating frequent thumb throughs. I haven’t yet touched the clothes or the things he kept in his nightstand.

Even when you thought you did all you should do so that there would be no regrets, trust me, you’ll find a few.

Take the Virus seriously, please people……. it’s no joke, it’s not the flu, it’s not a hoax or political ploy. It’s real and still out there and needs your healthy respect.

💔

Observations from a Person of a Certain Age

I am editor of a small town publication and I sometimes ask Mom to write a piece for me when I feel a topic needs mention but submissions or my own writing don’t cover it. I have to be careful not to inflame, my job is to stay neutral, and in a small town like ours that’s monumental. With all the racial upheaval, I felt somehow it needed to be addressed in the next issue, and yet I knew it’s nearly impossible not to insult someone. I wasn’t looking for finger pointing or shaming or blaming, but an acknowledgement of some sort. So… I tasked my mother with this difficulty… and I think she nailed it.

Observations From a Person of a Certain Age – by Kathleen Amoia

As a white middle class woman of a certain age, I spent my childhood and teen years within the safety of what those adjectives implied. In the late forties and throughout the fifties, my friends and I felt simultaneously free and watched over. We had an unspoken sense that the future would treat us kindly and our comfort and success could be taken for granted. In our ignorance, we imagined most kids lived the same way.

But as our teens morphed into young adulthood, we saw another America. Our TVs brought racial injustices and brutality into our living rooms. The childhood and teen years I had experienced were the polar opposite of what black children my age had lived. The Civil War was only yesterday, and Jim Crow was now.

By the time we were taking on the responsibilities of career, marriage and families, we were also facing multiple protest movements and assassinations. I was teaching fifth grade when an ashen and shaking principal came to my door and told me that John Kennedy had been assassinated. I was teaching third grade when Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy and Malcolm X were assassinated.

Our city streets were afire with the anguish of inequality and its blow back. Marchers were beaten, hosed, attacked by dogs and jailed. Fires were set, city blocks destroyed. Black and white civil rights protesters were murdered. Through the fire and pain, President Johnson, a Southerner, a Texan, pushed Congress to act on his Civil Rights agenda and bipartisan progress was made. It was slow, sometimes ugly and painful, but it was made.

The struggle for racial justice is front and center again, sparked by the killing of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer. It is hard to predict just what will galvanize a mass movement, there have been similar cases very recently. But Floyd’s death triggered this one.

The marchers today are more numerous and significantly more diverse. Positive interactions with police and National Guards men and women have been encouraging. The movement is being carried into all corners of our democracy. And with some unfortunate and regrettable exceptions, the protesting has been remarkably peaceful.

The understanding that systemic racism needs to be eradicated wherever it lives is gaining wider recognition and acceptance than ever before. From my prospective as a witness to both the 60s and today, I think we are in a better place to get this done than we were then. We are starting farther down the road and therefore closer to bending that arch of history toward justice.

What I have seen throughout my life is that good people usually do good things. Most often they are our family, our friends, our neighbors, our local officials. There is no perfection here. Mistakes will be made, fault lines will surface. “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in. ” (Leonard Cohen.) But I think we can come out of this movement a stronger and better nation. It is not guaranteed, but if we are willing to do the hard work ahead, thinking of ourselves as “each other” and not “the other,” we can get there for ourselves and all our children.

“ It is in the shelter of each other that we live,” an Irish blessing for the times.

No. 15

My father passed on June 6th of complications from COVID-19. He was No. 15 on the death list in his nursing home and there were 66 residents out of 100 who were Covid-19 positive at the time of his passing. More than a few employees of the facility were also sick.

The facility itself had a good record initially – 2 months in lock down and no cases. We got daily e-mail reports. No cases. Then, someone brought it in somehow, and it spread like wildfire despite the many precautions they had in place.

My Dad had some hobbies and habits that were just a little reckless in his lifetime – not significantly so, but enough that I would not have believed a virus would be what took him in the end – and just 5 days after being diagnosed without symptoms. We hadn’t been allowed to visit him and he hadn’t been allowed to leave the facility or his ward even for those two months. He had been tested several times for the virus along with all other residents and his initial test was negative. Just last week it came back positive – but he had no symptoms. A few days later he had a fever and felt weak so I asked them to send him to the hospital because I wanted him monitored there in case he took a turn for the worse. They sent him to a clinic instead because he wasn’t struggling for breath, where they built him up with fluids (he was dehydrated) and gave him tylenol and oxygen. (his O2 was low). We were not allowed to accompany him but we were in touch with the Dr. as he treated him. He felt dad was not in distress and sent him home with instructions to remain on 02 and fluids and tylenol…. the only line of defense available.

They asked me repeatedly if I wanted to keep the DNR in place he specified years ago. So I asked Dad what he wanted because he was totally lucid, after all. He said – Keep the DNR in place, but I want hospital care if I get worse.

That whole time he did not appear to be too sick. He had no breathing difficulty and his color was good. He was comfortable. Just the nagging fever that came and went, peaking at around 102 but coming back town with Tylenol, and some mild weakness that came and went. We kept in touch with him via cell phone.

On June 5th I received a text in the afternoon that he was failing quickly.

What?..we just talked to him.

The text came back – you may come for a window visit. You can’t come inside but you can go to his (first floor) window. We’ll have his blinds up.

Are you telling me he’s dying?? we ..just… talked to him.

Yes. come. His labs are not good.

And so we did. What we found was my Dad, sitting in his recliner next to the big window in his room – looking like his normal self. He was joking around, he was taking calls (I had family call to say their goodbyes without him knowing that specific reason) he stood up to adjust his clothes and he looked .. normal. Through the outside window we had a decent visit and I honestly thought he was going to kick it, he seems pretty OK considering. I thought the labs weren’t giving the whole picture. I should have known the nurses of course know what they’re looking at. I asked him one more time – Dad you seem comfortable but would you like to go to the hospital where they have more options for care should you get worse? No, I’m comfortable here, I want to stay. It seemed reasonable, he wasn’t in any distress and seemed.. really ok.

At 5:30 am the next morning there was a voice mail on my phone and I knew without glancing at it that he was gone.

We’ve had a difficult relationship, my father and I. I don’t really have the right words here. What I know is, I tried to do right by him, and I think he tried to do right by me.. in the ways that he was capable. There was anger I don’t have reasonable words for. From both of us. I have struggled with that whole deal my whole life, and while I thought I was doing my best to do right by him in his last years, I am finding now that he’s truly gone that there are still… regrets. Nagging little regrets. Probably 15 differently little regrets that I could have done things just a little better. The very thing I tried to avoid, but there it is.

_______________________________________

I know you’re not just resting in peace, Dad. If there is truly any concept of a Heaven… well, let’s face it… you’re in pergatory, where I would most likely land, myself. So I hope you’re slapping another round of cards on the table among departed family and friends, telling a tale or two or three, throwing in a joke you’ve told a few times before. I hope Sandy met you at the gate with tail wagging, and I pray for calm seas and smooth sailing from here on out for you –

With love – your daughter xo

Two Goats and a Wedding

Bella and Star have arrived! And oh, we are so in love. 💗

Star, now about three months old… see the little Star on her forehead…. She is the baby who was rejected by her mama at birth, kicked with a resulting broken leg. She lived in a cast for a while and was nursed along by the dairy goat farmer, who let us adopt her once she was healed. She does have a limp but she can run along with her playmate and I think once the atrophy from cast living has had time to build up strength again, she’ll get even better, although as long as she’s happy we’re fine with a gimpy goat. She is super friendly, having lived her first few months in the house of the farmer, hanging out on the couch watching TV on his lap at night.

This is Bella… the silver dots on her head are still visible, where she was humanely dehorned before coming here. She is 7 weeks old, her mama just weaned her naturally ( they start kicking them away when they try to nurse) and so she came with Star and they are already best buddies.

It’s been raw and rainy for their first few days here so they’ve been wearing dog sweaters /coats to keep the chill off, now that they aren’t with their herd of babies and moms.

About that Wedding! My Aunt P was widowed a few years ago after her dear husband of many years passed on, and she moved back to our state to be near family and friends. Slowly she began the hard work of building her new life, missing my Uncle terribly still…. and reconnecting with old friends, volunteering at a Therapeutic riding facility too. A few years into life as a widow, she met a lovely man, also a widower, who is a kind, gentle soul. They found they were kindred spirits, sharing a love of family, long walks, meals together, and they both longed for a shared life with someone they cared about. After a happy courtship, they decided to wed. Plans were made, and then COVID-19 appeared. Plans sadly cancelled, as their children and grands are spread around the country and not only was a large gathering unsafe, the travel even more so.

After a little time passed and some thought was put into the dilemna, a plan was hatched. A very small ceremony was held yesterday at Parmelee Farm here in Town. My mom is a Justice of the Peace and she officiated. I was the photographer, Aunt P’s son and daughter-in-law were the witnesses. It was a true Family Affair. We all live in separate houses ( the pictured couples live together) so we observed safe social distancing protocol.

💗 Love Wins 💗 🥂

Strange Times Indeed

So how are you all faring in these strange and scary times? I go back and forth between OMGOMGOMG ventilators, deaths, hospitals without supplies, WTF! … and figuring out how to go to the grocery store without hyperventilating. The husband and I have had our typical Spring allergy symptoms and of course that leads to thoughts of… is this really allergies or the other dreaded “C” word? Do I have a fever? (no) Dry cough, trouble breathing? (no) So I’ve stopped watching so much of the updates on the news and I’m certainly not watching the blithering idiot in Chief as he blunders and blusters his way through his press conferences.

I’ve been walking the dogs, exercising some, disinfecting the house, fretting over whether I will have a job when this is all done. As editor of our small town publication, some ads have been pulling due to businesses already shuttering for good (that’s really sad) and events having been cancelled. If this goes on for a while, and I suspect it might, there will be no publication with not enough ads to sustain it. There are so many people who are suffering economically because of the damned virus. And there are so many people on the front lines taking care of us all – Doctors, nurses, grocery store clerks, truckers, postal workers, feed store owners, liquor store owners and dog groomers (because in the state of CT, apparently they are absolutely essential).

In our construction business, we’ve closed down the office where tenants come to pay rent or rent facilities, apartments, storage units. All work is being done online, e-mail, phone. If this drags on, our business will be hurt as well, as tenants who have not been able to work or draw a paycheck will not be able to pay rent, etc. I think this is going to have an effect on all people in ways we haven’t even thought of yet in the long run.

Strange times.

The good news? People are being forced to get back in touch with and tend their relationships, their home life, their cooking skills, fitness, reading, the great outdoors, crafts, art, quality time with children, the list does go on, and it’s a good list, at least.

Thank GOD for Netflix, AmIRight? I’m watching Outlander for the second time because I just can’t get enough of it. Even being deaf, I’ve started walking around the house practicing a wee bit uv a Scottish Brogue, do ye ken, because closed caption reflects the brogue and before I was deaf I had a keen ear for these things. It’s just fun. 😂

These two people have such crazy good chemistry I am very surprised they did not become a couple in real life, but alas, they did not.

I’ve been doing some cooking with simple ingredients I keep in the pantry… two recipes from the New York Times I’ll share with you here – They are super easy, delicious and you might have the stuff you need without venturing out to get them. They were both a hit with my family.

Pasta e Ceci – recipe HERE. I didn’t have escarole or Kale on hand so I used spinach and it was fine.

No-Knead Bread – recipe HERE. (this one is not my image) Absolutely delish and SO easy to make. You just need a little patience as it does require rise time.

A simple tip – wash those plastic grocery reusable totes in hot water in the washing machine and then toss in the dryer for a few minutes. They’re germ catchers, and this really works.

Some humor in these trying times…

Welp. That’s all I’ve got for today… wishing us all good health and good riddance to all the coronavirus madness in the near future, praying and begging pretty please to all the powers of the universe. And seriously, praying for all the people on the front lines who are taking care of business so that we all can still function through this test of all we hold dear.

karen

St. John, USVI – March 2020

We went, we saw, we conquered, and if I had known the whole world was going to turn into a shit show overnight due to coronavirus concerns, I probably would not have….. But since we did go… I will say we had an extraordinary time in an absolutely beautiful, stunning, magnificent place. Peter Bay, St. John, USVI.

Travel report– There were no reported cases of the illness two weeks ago on the islands, but that has changed since. Sanitizing wipes handed out in airplanes, most people brought their own and were wiping down all surfaces in their seating area, many masks, gloves, some hazmat suits, no joke. On the islands the airport did the same. JFK looked like a chemical war zone but that’s ok, people were being responsible. I have never appreciated my elbows and feet so much when using a public bathroom, didn’t even want to breath in there but you gotta do what you gotta do.

The islands of St. Thomas ( where we fly in) and St. John are definitely still suffering from the 2 hurricanes a few years back. The effects are still very obvious, some businesses still shuttered, there are still some gutted homes, some ruined cars and boats on the sides of some roads. Just google Caneel Bay 2019 and you’ll see a once beautiful resort in ruins. It sits there exactly like that today due to litigation and an uncertainty of what precisely can be done there.

That being said, what a naturally beautiful place, St. John. A particular member of the Rockefeller family deserves much credit for that. Laurence S. Rockefeller, a wealthy philanthropist and conservationist who died in 2004 , with a small group of his friends is credited with preserving St. John’s natural resources by sowing the seeds for V.I. National Park.
St. John Administrator Julien Harley said that without Rockefeller’s foresight, St. John would look vastly different than it does today.
“If the land was private, we wouldn’t be able to walk on the trails.
Thanks to the national park’s presence, St. John has a healthy economy that lures more than a million visitors a year.”

We rented a beautiful Villa for the week, something we don’t do often and it was such a beautiful location, an experience of a life time. I am so grateful that I got to do this with my children and their significant others. The villa was located on Peter Bay in a private community just 10 minutes from Cruz bay, the main hub and only tourist town on St. John. We were right around the bend from the world famous Trunk Bay, one of the most photographed beaches in the world. We swam with turtles in Maho bay, snorkeled among beautiful tropical fish like tangs, wrasses, angels, puffer fish in Trunk Bay and a sand shark cruised by my legs while standing around oblivious until he was about five feet away. It’s one moment I was grateful to freeze in near panic. We rode horses on the beach, we ate fabulous food and drank fancy fruity drinks. We slathered a gallon of SPF 50 Reef Friendly lotion on our limbs and still came home tan because the sun is that strong, the water that reflective. There are actually free lotion stations at the beaches, I kid you not, like the hand sanitizer pumps at hospitals mounted on the walls.

The icing on the cake was.. my son’s best friend came with his GF for a few days and they got engaged at the beach!

I took a zillion pictures, hard to choose what to share here ….. maybe half a zillion would do?

Image may contain: people sitting, table, sky, outdoor and water

Chef Lori came for two dinners and two breakfasts and she was the loveliest person! Delicious healthy food too –

Image may contain: 5 people, including Daniel Gilmore, Kristen Milano, Mackenzie Dostie and Mike Milano, people standing and people sitting

Image may contain: plant, outdoor and nature

Image may contain: tree, house, plant, sky and outdoor

Image may contain: sky, tree, plant, outdoor and nature

Image may contain: living room, table and indoor

My son on the right and his best bud since kindergarten days…

Image may contain: 1 person, standing and indoor

We had two iguana couples living among us – a pair by the pool and a pair in the trees next to the roofed patio… the males always kept a watchful eye on us. Those holes in the rocks are their cave.

Image may contain: pool and outdoor

Image may contain: plant, outdoor and nature

Peter Bay beach is private, for use by Villa owners and renters only – such a gift to have a beach this pristine and not crowded with people. Often we were the only ones on the beach.

Image may contain: tree, sky, plant, outdoor, nature and water

Image may contain: one or more people, child, outdoor, nature and water

Image may contain: Mike Milano, Mackenzie Dostie, Baillie Violano and Jimmy Yakimoff, people standing, tree, outdoor and nature

Donkeys live freely on the island – motorists are advised to drive slowly on the steep winding roads to avoid hitting them… and are asked not to feed them also.

Image may contain: cloud, sky, mountain, outdoor and nature

Dana of Carolina Corral is one hardworking woman who takes in all the rescues on St. John, including the horses she uses to provide trail rides for tourists. Her farm has been hard hit by the hurricanes and she relies on tourism and donations to take care of the animals in her care and make the repairs still needed. If you’d like to make a donation in any amount, and I can guarantee you it would be for an excellent cause and a very decent, caring, hard working woman… hit the donate button on her website… it will be put to great use and is very much needed. The horses in the picture below wouldn’t be here on this earth without her intervening. Water is scarce and she often has to buy it to give the animals. There are donkeys, goats, pigs, chickens, sheep, dogs and cats in her care as well – many dumped or injured with her as the only island rescue. And she’s doing it all by herself.

horsesstjohn.com

Image may contain: 1 person, cloud, sky, outdoor and nature

Image may contain: Daniel Gilmore and Kristen Milano, people standing, ocean, sky, mountain, outdoor, water and nature

Image may contain: 2 people, including Karen Amoia Milano, sunglasses, sky, outdoor, nature and closeup

Image may contain: 2 people, people standing, ocean, sky, outdoor, water and nature

Image may contain: 1 person, standing, plant, tree and outdoor

The LOTION STATION… I wasn’t kidding!

… one of these guys is not like the others…

Image may contain: 1 person, standing and outdoor

The newly engaged couple💕

Image may contain: 2 people, people standing and outdoor

Image may contain: one or more people, sky and outdoor

Image may contain: plant, flower and nature

Image may contain: Mackenzie Dostie and Mike Milano, outdoor and nature

Image may contain: Mackenzie Dostie and Karen Amoia Milano, mountain, outdoor, nature and water

Image may contain: one or more people, people standing, mountain, sky, outdoor, nature and water

Image may contain: Kristen Milano and Mike Milano, people sitting and outdoor

Image may contain: sky, outdoor and nature

Image may contain: ocean, outdoor, water and nature

Image may contain: water, ocean, outdoor and nature

Image may contain: Mackenzie Dostie and Mike Milano, people sitting and outdoor

No photo description available.

Image may contain: plant, sky, tree, outdoor and nature

Did I share with you in an earlier post my dear husband’s comments when I was trying on bathing suits to ask his opinion before our vacation? “That one’s good. It breaks it all up”…..

Believe you me, I wrung the hell out of that one with photos sent home…

“Breaking it all up here on Peter Bay”…..

Image may contain: Karen Amoia Milano, standing, outdoor and nature

So we’re back home, re-entered Coronazone… where the husband has had a cough for a week and I have allergy symptoms and it’s scaring the hell out of all of us… all of it, everywhere. I’ve been to the grocery store and dropped off groceries to mom, Dad is on lock down at the nursing home, and we are practicing hand washing to the Nth- degree and safe social distancing and hoping the allergy symptoms and cough aren’t the dreaded other dreaded C word. Seems a lot of people have a lot of symptoms they are monitoring, which is all we can do, besides being responsible and staying home when possible.

Stay healthy and sane, all – and WASH YOUR HANDS

Image may contain: plant, outdoor, water and nature

Karen

Should I Stay Or Should I Go

Due to business and farm obligations and a husband who is a very capable person who gets a lot accomplished but has an aversion to stepping out of his comfort zone which means going anywhere that he is not familiar with, which means no further than our state lines or the next state over more often than not, we don’t travel much. On occasion, I have managed to talk him into a nice trip somewhere outside “the zone”. Much goes into the actual taking of that trip, ’tis no easy feat, let me tell ya. I make sure all travel plans are laid out well in advance, the destination is mutually agreed upon well in advance, the accommodations are not complicated or iffy in any way, shape or form so that all hopefully runs relatively smoothly and the Mr. can actually relax.

That doesn’t mean the panic doesn’t set in on occasion, regardless. Case in point – Last time we went on a family vacation to St. John, USVI (ten or so years ago now) all was going well, we arrived on St. Thomas after a loong car ride to the insanely congested JFK airport, then an uneventful plane ride, non stop!… then landed on a tiny island airport runway that JEEzus CHRIST really didn’t look possible but hey, we made it, obviously … And the Mr. was still sane. You’d think the scary part was over, right?

We grabbed a van taxi that took us to the ferry dock to board the ferry that would bring us to the island of St. John. The Redhook ferry is not a huge boat – We’re not talking the Staten Island Ferry here – if memory serves me correctly there are two decks, upper and lower – and you could throw a ball in a game of catch from the front to the back if you wanted to. We had a pile of luggage and there were seven of us – we boarded the boat as the luggage was handed to the employees of the ferry – and somehow the Mr. lost sight of us for about 35 seconds. There was only one boat, we were all on it, and you could get a good scope of everyone on board in about 2 minute’s time. You’d have thought we left him on a deserted tropical island with Wilson the volleyball as his only companion for a month.

Then!… after the scorn was laid upon us thick and we reached our destination island, we walked up the street to pick up our rental Jeep. The Mr. suddenly became aware that everyone was driving on the wrong side of the road – and it was determined right in that same moment that I would be the designated driver for the week. Upon arrival at our rented villa, it was also determined that holy-mother’a God the driveway was so steep with no guardrail going down a cliff that said Mr. did not want to trust his wife to navigate, however, the fear of the driving on the wrong side of anything was just too much… and SO… he was indeed stuck with me driving Miss Daisy for the week.

And here we are… preparing to go on another family vacation to the same destination… and I saw the warning signs a few weeks back.

“Ugh, I’ve got so much work piling up, I don’t know. ”

” Jeez, this really isn’t the best time to be going on a vacation, you know? SO MUCH WORK. ”

” This is ridiculous, the stuff just keeps piling up! How can I go away and get anything done?”

Then (when he’s truly already made up his mind and there isn’t going to be any negotiations here at all) … “ I just don’t think I can go with you”.

The corona virus was all he needed to put a big exclamation point on the ordeal, feet dug into the mud of it. “I’M NOT GOING”.

And he’s not. And maybe that’s OK, less stress for me. I’ve done it before without him because the above scenario is not a new one. And.. he can watch the house and look after the animals. But also.. .maybe we shouldn’t go either? I’m on the fence. I’ve asked a few people who travel often, I’ve asked the local Pharmacist, too. They have said – just use the standard precautions – and WASH YOUR HANDS A LOT.

If we don’t go, we will lose all of the money we paid for this trip. And as I’ve said already, we don’t vacation often, we’re really looking forward to it. Anyone have any opinions or advice you care to share? In the meantime, I’ll be keeping an eye on the travel recommendations on the CDC website. So far, travel to the USVI’s is still green lighted.

Also in the meantime, here’s an awesome dessert being shared online that would be perfect for a St. Patrick’s Day Celebration…

Bailey’s Chocolate Cheesecake Pots

Ingredients

8 (+-140g / 0.59cups) double chocolate Digestive biscuits (in the US Graham crackers are a good equivalent)
360g / 1.5 cups full fat cream cheese, chilled
60ml / 2 fl oz double cream
60ml / 2 fl oz Bailey’s Irish Cream liqueur
100g / 0.42 cups caster sugar
30g / 0.12 cups cocoa powder

To serve

125ml / 4.2 fl oz double cream
½ tsp caster sugar
½ tsp vanilla extract
Chocolate sprinkles

Method

Roughly chop the biscuits with a sharp knife. Tip: We prefer doing this so that you don’t end up with fine crumbs and powder as you get when you crush them.

Spoon the crumbs into 4x 250ml preserve jars. Set aside. Tip: If you don’t have preserve jars, you could also just use small bowls or drinking glasses.

Place the remaining cheesecake ingredients into a medium-sized bowl. Using an electric mixer beat on low speed just until dry ingredients are combined. Scrape down the sides of the bowl then beat again on high speed until the color is uniform and mixture is smooth and has thickened slightly for 1-2 minutes.

Spoon the cheesecake mixture into the preserve jars on top of the biscuit crumbs, close the lids onto each jar, then refrigerate until serving time. Tip: The quickest and neatest way of filling your cheesecake pots is to use a piping bag. Fill a large piping bag with the cheesecake mixture, cut the end of the piping bag off, and then squeeze the mixture into your preserve jars.

Spoon generous dollops of the whipped cream on top of each cheesecake pot, then decorate with chocolate sprinkles.

Cheesecake pots can be kept in the fridge for up to 3 days, but the biscuit crumb base will lose its crunch after the first day. Still tasty, though!