Category: Life

Let them

I have been struggling with something that was for me a shock and a painful realization. 60 years of living teaches you a few things, though… . So take this or leave it, if it helps you navigate your own situation, I’m glad I shared my thoughts for what they’re worth.
You are not ever going to get everything right or please every person who travels through your orbit, inevitably that’s the nature of this human experience. We all have our stories, our beliefs , trials, scars, our fears, joys, triumphs and sorrows…. and our own way of navigating our lives. You are the only person who will ever know all your true intentions, and your heart. If you know absolutely that you move through life doing the best you can where you are, and are a genuine friend to those who give you their friendship, it’s enough. What other people will value or not, what they will say or the opinions they will form and for whatever their reasons, those things are their choices to make in the life and experiences they are living.   – Let them.

Harkness and Seaside

Yesterday was one of those early May days that remind a person of the simple joys of being alive and being able bodied to *just do things*.  It was warm, sunny, breezy…  T-shirt weather, my favorite.   I got my barn chores done early, took a quick shower and hopped in the car with my doggo, Kai…

The air smelled of fresh earth and spring blossoms and because I headed down to the shoreline, salty balmy air.   I wish there was a feature on this laptop to transport the scent along with the photos.   When I do these walkabouts I breathe deep and slow, sort of  nourishing my lungs and my peace of mind with all that goodness, flushing out any lingering toxins.

Harkness park is such a jewel bestowed on the residents of this state, and the now abandoned Seaside Sanatorium is an eerie contrast, just down the road from it.  Seaside has an interesting history…. you can read more about it here if you’re so inclined.

First,  behold Harkness Park….  It never ceases to amaze me and truly my gratitude overflows for people who had the forethought and the generosity to bestow their properties to the general public, for the welfare of all.  Amen for those beacons of light, for the humanity they embody and share with us all.

   On to Seaside – it was an eerie experience, haunting, really.  I was glad there were a few other dog walkers there.   Hard to imagine why this property didn’t flourish for generations to come as a hospital, a respite, a recovery centery, an elderly housing complex …… any of these things could have been beautifully done here and right on the water, surrounded by a nice neighborhood and nearby bustling town.

I had a physical last week and thankfully all is as well as a 60 year old can expect.  I still have 20 pounds to lose but I did lose a little weight, and the sugar and cholesterol numbers improved.  Had my eyes checked a few days ago and all good there too, just a small bump in the reading glasses number.  I’ll take it.   The hiking and walking and barn chores and light weight training is helping me stay strong – I always remember what a dear older friend of mine said some years ago…. I asked her what her secret was to staying so fit and strong as she approached 80.  She said… KEEP MOVING.  KEEP DOING ALL THE THINGS.  DON’T START BEHAVING LIKE AN OLD PERSON.    And so I plan to do just that.  I hope you’re taking care of you, too – it’s so important to find something you enjoy doing to help your body and mind stay active… if you’re not already doing so, it’s never too late to start.  Just do it.     Sadly…. she ended up with dementia in her late 80’s, but she is lucky to have strong family support and the money to live in an excellent facility near that family with her own apartment.

On that subject… I have several friends who are living with and caring for their spouses who are suffering from either dementia or alzheimers… and several community members have either died from or are living with the same awful disease.  It seems more prevalent now than ever -scary!   What I have learned from both of them is…. family and friend support is so important.  One of them has very little of either and at this point feels very isolated and alone, feeling trapped in her home as she cares for her husband.  The other has tremendous family support and has found a support group that really helps her in various ways.  It makes all the difference.   If you know someone who is in the same position, please reach out in any ways that you are able.  …. and no small deed is too small.    If you are unfortunately IN that position as care giver…. remember…. you matter too.   Reach out, don’t suffer alone…. and carve out time for self care, whatever that looks like to you.  It’s not impossible, and it might at first feel uncomfortable to ask or seek, but do it… for you.   You are just as important as the patient.

I hesitate to say anything at all about the present political climate….. I and many others are sad for this country and hoping with all we’ve got that eventually most of this country will right the ship and lean in to decency, grace and humanity again…..    We deserve so much better, we are capable of so much better…. The world deserves better from us.

Onward.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Peace of Wild Things

It’s hard   to find the balance when it comes to how much news to digest right now in this current whirlwind of upheaval.  How to react and not react, to take some kind of action or to let it go, to remain silent or speak up. I tend to speak up.  A lot.  Trying for balance though….    Let go or be dragged is one of my little mantras…  little quotes  I use when I’m feeling the weight of it all to remind myself when I need to do just that.  Also… keeping an open mind when you find your thoughts are completely at odds with those of others you respect and even love.  Right now in particular, that can be a hard thing and some folks are losing relationships they valued for decades because of it.

In my older years (I’ve just arrived in my 61st year)  as some of the responsibilities and pulls of a younger life  wane, I take to the woods or beaches more often to ground myself and for better health.  I’ve heard the term “forest bathing” but I’m not sure it’s that for me, exactly.  The peace  is in the trek and the observance of nature and its beauty… especially with my dog, Kai. He is a gentle timid soul who has known abuses I’ll never understand fully. But since coming to me as a 2 year old, he’s learned trust and love and to be (mostly) comfortable in his own skin.  We are definitely a team… with my significant hearing loss, he is my ears on the trails and our surroundings.   Having gone through this transformation with Kai, our bond is a strong one and I am forever grateful he’s in my life, and for the rescuer who trusted him with me.

Speaking of “Older”….  you’ve probably heard the saying… aging is not for sissies.   And maybe you’re at the age where you can relate.  Inevitably, we all experience a breaking down of this or that, some worse than others.  If we’re lucky, we get to keep going, reasonably sound, for a while to come.  Not everyone is that lucky and we never know when our time on this earth might be coming to a close… So.. I choose not to be too freaked about the lines in my face, the eyes that look weary, the extra pounds I’m constantly fighting… the aches of a life lived in an active body.  I no longer have a uterus or any semblance of normal hearing.   Every one of these things in, so far,  sixty years,  is a privilege, not a right given to all.  I’ll take it, with gratitude.

The wild voilets, trout lily,  fern and swamp marigold are all in bloom this week. I look forward to these signs each Spring heralding warmer days ahead.  Finding that first yellow bloom with the dappled leaves beneath it leaves me a little giddy and a little hopeful.  Don’t we all need a little of that.

The grands are of the age now where they love to explore… and so they, too, are enjoying little trail walks with us. Keeping them from getting completely soaked in the little streams is the challenge of the moment, but their wonder and excitement is contagious❤️

I’ll close this post with a breakfast shake I like to throw together… it’s delicious and good for you….  Spinach, banana, blueberries, honey, hemp seed hearts and ice… however much of each you prefer, and switch it up with any number of other healthy options you might have in the fridge.  Just toss it all in a blender, pour in a glass and drink up the goodness.

Till soon –

 

 

It’s been a while

Almost a year since I’ve been here, so much to cover and where do I start?  I guess right where most of us are struggling at the moment or at least have some concern.

This world and this country in particular are in quite a state.   Depending on your leanings, most likely  you’re either cheering or you’re horrified by what we are all witnessing.  There doesn’t seem to be much in between.  The division among us and how intense it is, is frightening.  The mistrust and misuse  of our government and our news sources  even more so, their integrity in tatters.  My son asked me the other day…. “do you think we’ll ever come back together as a country?  The divide seems so huge, runs so deep, it seems impossible. ”  There are times I think that’s the likely truth… but as I said to him… I’m reminded that this country has been in upheaval before.  Just magine the divide during the civil war… where the north and south had completely different views on slavery and it was a very big part of the south’s way of life and prosperity.  We all know how that ended.   And the young country did seem to move on, eventually, mostly and for the greater good.

I am an unaffiliated voter, my husband a dyed in the wool Republican.  Many an argument has infused our cohabitation since M*G* has arrived  and right now the air is so thick with the discord we could cut it with a knife here in this old house. I can’t deny our governing bodies have been ignoring major problems for a long time… overspending, over taxation of the working middle class, immigration reform, healthcare reform, our crumbling infrastructure, corporate greed… the list goes on and these are the things the Mr. brings up when I question his loyalty to his party’s current path.  The failures of both parties for a long time are why we now have an orange nuclear bomb dropped right in the middle of it and the fallout reach is everywhere with it’s tentacles in absolutely everything.   That is where my significant other and I are in agreement.   And that’s where it ends…. because as I watch the reckless behaviors and actions and attitudes of this Tr*mp. 2 administration, as I watch women’s rights being yanked back and the rules of law being blatantly ignored, abuse of power rampant (and they are giddy with it)…. the previously trusted relationships  with our allies shredded, our environmental protections discarded, our public lands under siege,  the words diversity, equality and inclusion pummeled, when facts no longer matter….. I cannot help but be appalled, embarrassed, ashamed for this country.  And that brings profound sadness and even disbelief that we are where we are.

But you see how far down a rabbit hole one can be dragged, and so I have to remind myself to let go on occasion and search for peace within and out there in the universe of our lives. To do good things where I am, to grow where I’m planted…  to assist where I can for the greater good.  No matter where you stand on all of this… I hope you’re able to do the same.

 

I completed my 60th year this month!   Holy shit!  But I’m not complaining one bit.  Sixty is not old… it’s damn lucky.  I’m still pretty active and I plan to continue for a long time if life permits.   I hike or take long walks regularly with my best buddy/rescue dog Kai.  Getting out in nature is my respite, my recharge.

  My  barn chores and grands keep me busy.   My arthritic neck and hands remind me I’m not a spring chicken, but it’s all part of the luck of still being here and having more good days than bad. I’ve cleaned up my diet some and try to get in more greens and berries and whole foods, much less processed crap.  One of the things many older people hear when they end up at a clinic with illness is that they are dehydrated.  So I’m making a concerted effort to drink more water because it’s not something I crave.   Hydration is important so if you do just one thing for yourself in your current state of being, drink more water.

And be grateful for every.single.day.   Don’t take any of it for granted, it all goes by so damned fast.

Farm update – with the sale of our little cottage by the sea, Stella…. we’ve had more time to focus on improvements here.  Up at the barn we’ve still got our mini horses, our two quarter horses, two goats and 16 or 17 chickens depending on the day’s count and my patience for doing it.   We brought home a rabbit and my granddaughter Mia immediately named her Hoppy.  She’s very friendly and a welcome addition to our farm family.

The grands – they’re now 2 years old and almost 2, my daughter’s son and son’s daughter.  Being a “Mimi” – a name my granddaughter chose for me, is such a wonderful chapter in life. We get to experience young personhood and all the wonders and discoveries over again through their eyes, but with less responsibility, LOL.  A third is on the way!  I am their caregiver for a portion of each week as both moms went back to work part time and it’s so true, they keep you young!  ish….

We converted my office into an art studio with a little side of toddler toys now that I am retired from my editing/writing/family business responsibilities and I have been able to dive back into my art inclinations.  I’ve set oils aside and have begun exploring the world of water color, a completely different universe.

 

A recipe I’ve tried recently and really like –  This one is so delish and refreshing.  I don’t really have an opinion about Meghan, but so many do.  I’m glad I don’t live anywhere near the spotlight.    I give this a thumbs up.  I did use spinach instead of shard and shaved parmesan instead of feta.

Meghan Markle Sussex Veggie pasta salad
Ingredients
For the pasta salad:
12 ounces paccheri or fusilli pasta
Kosher salt
1 cup English peas, shelled
1 bunch Swiss chard (about 5 cups loosely packed leaves), chopped
Optional: 1/2 bunch lacinato kale, ribs removed, chopped
3/4 cup snap peas, sliced
Optional: 1/2 zucchini, chopped
1 cup feta cheese, plus more for garnishing
2 tablespoons fresh mint leaves, plus more for garnishing
1 tablespoon fresh dill, plus more for garnishing
For the vinaigrette:
1 shallot, sliced
2 garlic cloves, grated
2 lemons, zested and juiced
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon dried chili flakes
1/3 cup olive oil Kosher salt, to taste
Freshly cracked black pepper, to taste
Method
1. Create a bowl of ice-cold water and ice cubes to shock your vegetables to stop the cooking process.
2. Bring 4-6 quarts of water to a boil and season with ¼ cup salt. Blanch peas for 30 seconds and move to ice water to shock.
3. Blanch Swiss chard leaves for 45 seconds to a minute, until tender and move to ice water to shock.
4. Add enough salt to the water so it “tastes of the sea” and boil the fusilli until fully cooked according to package instructions.
5. Drain the pasta and set aside to cool.
6. Dry peas and Swiss chard on a towel until ready to use.
7. Chop chard into bite-sized pieces.
8. To make the vinaigrette, combine the shallot with the dried chilli flakes in a large bowl.
9. Add cooked and cooled pasta. Toss to combine, add chard, peas, snap peas, feta, and herbs. Toss and season to taste.
10. Serve, garnishing with more herbs, feta, and lemon as desired. Enjoy!

I don’t keep track of the traffic here  anymore when blogging, but if you’re visiting and are so inclined… let me know what you’ve been up to, and if you keep a blog, where to find it!   I hope all is well in your neck of the woods –

Till soon –

 

Maine… what a catch!

 

The first few times  I  traversed the Maine landscape was with an old boyfriend when I was 20 years old.  His aunt lived in the Bangor area and we explored Bar Harbor and attended the Fryeburg Fair.   Loved it!  For whatever reasons, when I married and we grew our family, Maine points weren’t on the radar for vacations… we headed over to the cape and I fell in love with Martha’s Vineyard, so there is where we spent our coastal region getaways.  We will still visit in July, I need my fix of Vineyard time…  but!….

I actually convinced the Mr. we’re not spring chickens and time is of the essence… we need to start slowing down the work machine and take time to explore and enjoy and relax. One never knows when that time has come and gone, right?

SO.  Ogunquit, Maine was recommended to us and it’s just a three hour easy drive up the coast.  I booked it.  We went… we LOVED it… and we loved it so much we’ve booked a few days in September, a girls trip next time with my mom, my daughters and my grands.

In short, the people were happy and friendly and helpful with local information, the businesses all take pride in what they do, that’s so obvious.. the beaches and waters are clean, the air fresh, the food just phenomenal!    We were told it gets much more crowded once the kids get out of school and I believe it.  May, however, is perfect timing.  Marginal Way is a wonderful walkway into Perkins Cove, Ogunquit Beach awesome for kids, especially little kids. I’m really looking forward to the return trip in Sept.

 

I hope all is well in your world.  Tune out all the noise at least sometimes… it’s a wild, troubled world we live in, and we can’t let the undertow drag us all down, ok?   This life, this time right here is all we’ve got. Make the most of it ❤  Onward and till soon….

 

Spring sprung!

We’ve had some crappy April weather, truly. But yesterday it was downright summer-like!  Of course, being New England.. we’re back to the crappy weather this morning but oh, the things are greening!  The garden on the hill is planted, and my new kitchen herb raised garden is planted, with a little mini fairy house and yard in the middle 🌞

 

Sunset behind peach blossoms last night….

a hike with two of my girlies, accompanied by Leo and Kai….

I try to buy non toxic products and non-animal tested.  Some of the companies I have trusted over the years, I wasn’t aware have been sold out to corporations, and because money is their biggest concern, not our health, they tend to change up the ingredients to cut their costs and boost their profits.  If this is important to you, too… check out this list, and then check their ingredients and practices.

During our good weather weekend I took a drive to a dairy farm that is known for it’s outstanding chocolates… Thorncrest Farm in Litchfield, a family owned small dairy farm operation that makes award winning chocolates.  They ship!  Worth treating yourself or someone you love.  They really care about the humane treatment of their cows -they graze them at night for heat and bug stress relief, and their barn is immaculate.  That’s important to me, too.

Our patio with my new kitchen herb raised garden in the background…

My two little cherubs – a year old already!   Grandparenthood is a wonderful, wonderful chapter of our lives, such a blessing ❤

I hope all is well in your world –  Till soon ……

Hitched!

What a weekend! Family and friends arrived from far and wide to celebrate the union of my daughter and her beau.  The weather was typical New England fickle early Spring, everything went mostly as planned although we had to move the ceremony inside instead of out on the hill sloping down to the water,  because BRRRRR.   We all had a wonderful night under the big top, dancing our fool heads off thanks to a DJ who knew how to read the room, enticing young and old  to join in the fun.   I’ll share more photos when we have the professional shots but here’s a sneak peek.

At around 2 am after everyone had retired for the night… three of us came down with the nasty stomach bug (norovirus) that’s been going around the midwest and northeast.  It was ugly.  Then a day later, it hit the rest of us here on the farm.   Oddly.. and thankfully.. this particular outbreak did not spread to our guests.  Amen for that…. and the miracle that it didn’t hit us just 12 hours sooner.  We are all feeling better after two days of being mostly in bed if not in the bathroom.   Fun times!

Yesterday before the rain I headed out into the woods to hunt the tiny spring blooms I look for each year – they are the message sent from mother nature that indeed the growing season has arrived, if a little  fickle with a bit of back and forth. Winter has been reluctant to loosen it’s Grip!  That old saying is very true though –  if you don’t like the weather in New England, wait a minute or two…   Tonight we expect more heavy rain and some wind.  Having already lost a few of the towering pines at the front of our property, I hope we don’t lose more of them. They were planted at least 50 years ago in rows, so we have a literal pine forest out there that is aging.

The tiny blooms along the trail out behind the farm fields here….

Long spur violet

nightcap

Trout Lily

And so far in the garden on the hill  we have planted the potato trenches and the garlic is thriving… the warmer days make outside chores more enjoyable and my soul is lifted, face to the …. well not the sun very much lately, but I remain hopeful! LOL.

The Mr. rarely takes time off but this year upon his 60th birthday I told him I’m going on a few adventures whether he comes with me or not. It’s time we expand our horizons at least a little bit and do more of what brings us pleasure instead of nose to the grindstone 24/7.  We’re taking a few days to explore a bit of southern Maine in mid May and I’ll report on that then. I’m excited for a happy change of scenery, a little adventure –  I hope you find time to do the same in whatever way is enjoyable for you –

A delicious salad recipe I haven’t seen before…

This Blackberry Avocado Arugula salad makes the most of fresh produce with cucumber, avocado, hazelnuts, vegan feta and a lime mint vinaigrette!🥗
Ingredients:
Produce
• 5 cups Arugula
• 1 Avocado
• 1 cup Blackberries
• 3/4 cup Blueberries
• 1 1/2 cups Cucumber
• 2 tbsp Mint, fresh
Condiments
• 2 tbsp Lime juice, freshly squeezed
• 1 tbsp Maple syrup
Baking & Spices
• 1 Pepper
• 3/4 tsp Salt
Oils & Vinegars
• 1/3 cup Olive oil
Nuts & Seeds
• 1/3 cup Hazelnuts, toasted
Dairy
• 1/3 cup Feta, vegan or regular

Till soon –

 

 

 

 

The Atheist

I love this so much.

A rabbi was asked by one of his students “Why did God create atheists?” After a long pause, the rabbi finally responded with a soft but sincere voice. “God created atheists” he said, “to teach us the most important lesson of them all – the lesson of true compassion. You see, when an atheist performs an act of charity, visits someone who is sick, helps someone in need, and cares for the world, he is not doing so because of some religious teaching. He does not believe that God commanded him to perform this act. In fact, he does not believe in God at all, so his actions are based on his sense of morality. Look at the kindness he bestows on others simply because he feels it to be right. When someone reaches out to you for help. You should never say ‘I’ll pray that God will help you.’ Instead, for that moment, you should become an atheist – imagine there is no God who could help, and say ‘I will help you’.”    — Martin Buber, “Tales of the Hasidim”

 

Of Weddings and Elections and Goals, oh my…

Two weeks to go until my daughter’s wedding! What??!!!    Seems like yesterday we started thinking about it and man, TIME FLIES.  If you’ve done this before you already know… some of the planning is fun, some of it tedious and some of it downright nerve racking.  All of it is expensive.    I don’t know if this is unusual because I haven’t done this much, but in our case, the grooms family hasn’t really participated in the planning, by their choice.  I’ve certainly reached out and asked if they would like to share ideas or suggestions or input of any kind, but they are just a different and distant sort of folk, for lack of a better way to describe it and wanting to be respectful.  SO… as a result… this entire wedding is pretty much what my daughter and I put together with input from the groom of course. We certainly want him to feel this day is his as well as the brides.

When my daughter said yes to the dress, I  quietly had some reservations.  Elements of the dress were beautiful, and some elements didn’t compliment her. Not surprisingly, she felt the same when the actual dress in her size  arrived and we pondered what to do about it.   When we met with the tailor for the standard alterations, we made a great team, the three of us.  We made some big changes that really brought it together beautifully  thanks to the tailors talents, of course…. and I am so happy for my daughter, she loves it and I love that!   I’ll show you the before and afters, after the wedding.

Regarding the state of the world, of all the upheaval, the greed, the corruption, the absolute evil,  the continued erosion of our environment and culture and government and want for truths and justice and equal rights for all, affordable living for all,  freedom to live as we wish, women’s rights… the list goes on and on and on….. this crazy crazy election season (WTF is the best and easiest way to express it)  and the cult environment I would never have believed possible had I not been witnessing it myself….. it leaves me almost speechless when I try to make sense of it all, and that’s one heck of a statement because I don’t have trouble speaking my mind.   I wouldn’t have believed where we are now was at all possible… I always thought of us as a forwarded moving country, building a stronger, kinder, wiser nation.  Sadly, we’re going backwards in so many ways, and so many people are cheering it on and even hoping for civil war, willfully ignoring the dangers of all of it and also ignoring the lessons of past history.  How it’s lost on these people that they, too, could lose everything that means anything to them should something of this nature break out,  is beyond my comprehension.   We are capable of  better healthcare, an end to homelessness, fair tax laws, fair wage, freedom and equality for all, border control, better education, repaired and stronger  infrastructure, and on and on and on.  But our government can’t get out of it’s own way, our party system has become cult-like, it’s failing us all by not functioning together like two wings on the same bird.  Ultimately, human nature is apparently failing us all.  Except not all of us are guilty of it. But it takes the whole village to want it and to cooperate, and that we do not have.

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that for the time being. You see how that train of thought’s tracks run all over the place.

Goals… I’ve still got the same ones… better health tweaks I sometimes do and sometimes don’t, lose some weight, keep going with the exercise,  find inspiration where I can, do good where I can, live my “dash” as fully as is possible.   Below is the latest painting on my easel, still work to do on it, but I haven’t decided how I want to round it out….. I’ll come back to it as inspiration rises…. This is swan hill overlooking the Connecticut river, a hike I’ve taken a few times, admiring the view.

Till soon,

 

 

 

59

Well, shit.

This is the weekend of my 59th birthday, and while I certainly feel it, I’m also so grateful I’m still here with a body still willing to carry me on ahead for a great while longer… that is my ultimate hope, anyway.  I have vowed to take better care of this vehicle, and while I haven’t abused her horribly, there’s room for tweaks and there to  I shall go.

Yesterday my faithful dog, Kai and I took a 3 mile hike through some very pretty trails, an easy trek with no scrambles through Pine forest and supply pond with swans and turtles and even a skunk making an appearance. No photo of that particular encounter.  The weather was gorgeous and there were others out there enjoying it too. I love those days when it’s obvious everyone is in a better mood, spirits are lifted, faces to the sun 🌞

Later in the day, the Mr. and I had a  late lunch/dinner at a friend’s restaurant on the water,  I chose a healthy meal of fish tacos and then threw it under the bus with a chocolate orange martini.      It is what it is.

Tonight the family gathered  around our dining room table for a celebratory dinner, and it is these moments I am always most grateful for.

And may I say… this grandmother chapter of my life… and I have had several friends concur regarding theirs too… is truly the best chapter in some ways, just truly such a joy💗 .

Saw this next image on Facebook and honestly… do I have to say anything at all here?    Well maybe just… ugh, ugh ugh ugh ugh.  I’ll continue to pray for us all.

Some spring inspiration for this St. Patricks Day….

Till soon –