Category: Life

Recovery

So.  I don’t normally get this kind of personal up in here, but I feel like writing about it will be therapeutic.

At my last gyno check up it was discovered my uterus walls had “thickened” and polyps were present.  One very painful biopsy experience later, it was determined the old girl needed to be removed to avoid future cancer possibility and they needed to be sure there wasn’t any lurking.  While I hated the idea of major surgery, I’m all for cancer avoidance where ever possible.

Monday was surgery day – and I’m here to say all went well, pathology benign much to my relief, but man, it feels like I was punched in the gut for 10 hours straights.   It surprises me that this is practically a drive-thru surgery – I mean, they’re removing an organ through four holes they make in your abdomen, and then some elsewhere.    I’m no fan of hospitals, being home is probably safer in the germ category.  But jeez, you’d think they’d want to make sure all your systems were GO again, after such a shock to the body.  As soon as I was awake and able to stand, they had me clothed and escorted to the waiting car.   I don’t even want to know what positions they put you in during surgery, my back is still screaming of it.

So I’m home, not lifting anything more than 10 pounds, resting, walking, drinking fluids, taking as minimal an amount of pain meds as possible because my stomach never likes them.  God bless Peapod grocery delivery.   My family is doing much of what I usually do, they’ve been great – and the frustration is obvious too, because they do have all their usual “stuff”.   I think once I’m healed and back to normal activities they will have a little more appreciation for all I get done around here on the regular…. just sayin.

I have rewatched Virgin River, because I LOVE VR!!… and might rewatch the last season of Outlander because DITTO!!.   Watched the first season of True Detectives with Woody Harrelson and Matthew Machonagy (that’s spelled wrong, I’m certain) – loved it.   Watched 1000 pound sisters and BY GOD I’M DETERMINED TO LOSE THIS EXTRA 25 pounds!!!!!!!!!.    That’s a sad show – I feel they are being exploited.  Watched  The Marsh King’s daughter  – worthy!    I have books on my night table but haven’t felt like picking one up for some reason. Lazy, I think. It’s probably the drugs.

So that’s where I’m at.  Looking forward to a better week ahead and the week after that, getting back to more normal life here on the farm.  I hope all is well in your world –

oh just one more thing…. I cannot believe… I just cannot…. that we have before us the possibility of another four years of absolute integrity disintegration and  mayhem with The Orange Scream in the oval office.  I just…. can’t.      Canada is looking so attractive.  Maybe the Amalfi Coast, though.  Where would you pick up and start over again if you could take all those who matter to you, with you?

Till soon –

Robins in Snow

 

Just now as I’m sitting in my office/studio pondering what to tackle while the granddaughter sleeps… I looked out at the gentle snowfall (always my favorite kind of snow… and the quiet that generally accompanies it)  and witness such a beautiful thing – Robins eating the holly berries on the corner of the  porch.

The barn chores take a little more time in winter, this is where I start to feel my age… the ice chipping, the frozen water bucket hauling, the frozen manure, the winter blanket maneuvering.   All the layers of clothes even.  But… as much as it can be a hassle, I wouldn’t give up the animals for an easier existence nor the  seasons to go live six months of the year somewhere balmier.  I’d probably weight 200 pounds if I did.   The occasional reprieve will do.    I do know many who love that yearly  migration.    I would just miss my family too much, I am a home girl through and through.

Our old boy, Max… 29 and looking fine.

We have some exciting news… our daughter is getting married in April!   We’ve been busy with wedding plans and most of it is fun!  Some of it anxiety inducing!    I hope to lose 15 pounds to fit into the dress I found and bought and love.  Stupid way to plan on the dress for the occasion but I’m going to give it my best shot, because I really do love the dress. And it didn’t come in my current chubby size.

I’ve had a few paintings on the easel this year…. my favorite is called “Organized Chaos”… a scene from our perennial gardens here on the farm….  I like to incorporate a creature into my paintings when appropriate… can you see the bee?

This one done for a friend, who built and runs that sugarhouse for the community  and is in the picture along with his grandson –

Currently on the easel – still a lot to do here, this is just the base layer…

Things I find inspiring…..

A photo taken by Michael Blanchard on Martha’s Vineyard – the island has gotten hammered in recent months with severe storms that have brought an angry sea to wipe out many of the dunes on the beaches….  Michael has been through some very trying times and has beaten and continues to beat back alcohol addiction, helps others now, and has written some inspiring books on the subject, with his photography.

Thankfully the Mr. agreed to a summer getaway to my favorite nearby island in July –  Looking forward to walking this beach again.

This sink showed up in my newsfeed, isn’t it beautiful?  Would make my least favorite chore so much more enjoyable.   Can’t help but wonder though, Wood and water usually = rot eventually.

Have a good weekend and an even better week ahead –  Till soon!

Four days later….

 

Two posts in one week?  Welp… it’s dark and damp and chilly outside and while the barn chores beckon, they can sleep for another hour, yet I cannot… so here I sit.   Middle middle age has not been kind in the sleep department.   I wish I had a good solution for that.

I used to talk politics a little (well, mostly my outrage) here on this blog but I’ve tried to get away from it as much as is responsibly possible for my own sanity.  What I will say is I am truly so discouraged by the state of things in this country regarding our governing bodies.  The infighting that prevents solving our critical issues, the division between civilians, not just our elected officials.  The corruption, the egos, the greed, the failures.

Out of that rabbit hole we go…  On to  more cheerful things…  and one place I find solace is in the writings of a now deceased author who’s words still ring true for me in all matter of things,……. Gladys Taber.    I wrote more about her  here in THIS blog post if you’re interested.  AND.. if you’re a Gladys fan already, I just discovered I ordered a book of hers that I already have in my collection. So, I’ll happily ship it off, once it arrives,  to one of you if interested.  Let me know in the comments and one lucky person will receive it.  The Best of Stillmeadow is the volume I refer to.  Her books are no longer in print so I find them occasionally on old book seller sites.

Some snapshots of my days here on the farm….

These photos above and below taken days apart – New England weather fluctuates tremendously. No jacket one day, hats and gloves the next.

Sometimes you just buy your own damn flowers 🙂

Sunset on our hill

My heart 💗💗

My favorite folksy artist… Jane Newland out of the UK

Words to live by……

      Till soon –

Tap tap tap ….. is anyone out there?

 

There was a time some years ago when I blogged daily – it all started when we bought this ancient farm house and began the renovation. I thought some people might like to follow along and this was an easy way to share the journey.  So, this blog was born and back-in-the-day,  grew to  about 400 visitors to the blog daily.  I enjoy writing and it has been part of my career, so blogging was a good creative exercise for me. I also met some friends I still cherish to this day, fellow bloggers, some of whom still blog at least occasionally.  I’m not sure what I want to do with it now, but this morning I decided to visit this space and so here I am – and I hope all is well with you!

Our two grandchildren are now 8 and ten months old – they are such a joy in our lives and we feel so blessed that they live here on the farm with their parents.  The moms work part time, so I am their part time daycare and I get to spend some real quality time with them.  Another blessing.

Christmas was wonderful with these little babes and I am so proud of our kids as they grow into their roles as parents. They’re doing such a great job at it and that warms my heart 💗

I retired from my role as Editor of our local news publication  and have spent more time focused on the farm/barn needs and the grands.  We sold the seaside cottage because it become more work than enjoyment and this farm takes effort too. Looking back, I don’t regret the decision, it feels like it was the right thing to do.  I’d like to travel at least occasionally before I die, so that helps the plan. When you own a second place, it tethers you to feeling like you should spend all your free time there in that one place.

I’ve gone on more hikes with my  rescued dog and good buddy Kai, a better walking partner I have not ever had.  He’s not a puller, a gentleman for sure on leash.  That’s huge for me.    I wouldn’t ever be accused of being a gym rat – I don’t enjoy treadmilling it or spending an hour in a gym with 50 other people … but walking and hiking and seeing the beauty of the land and different scenery is something I can get behind and really enjoy.  So if you’re like minded, I highly recommend it.  No matter where you live, you’ll find interesting places to explore.  And when you enjoy the exercise you’re doing, you’re more likely to DO IT.   I love the phone app  Alltrails – an excellent tool for navigating trail systems just about anywhere.

 

I’ve been cooking a lot.. here are two tried and true recipes that are easy to put together and are definitely family approved.

Italian Beef Soup

 I bought a decent chuck roast to use in it. I also used Romano Cheese as throw on, not Parm. Plenty of leftovers – perfect for a winter supper.
(Serves 5 )
INGREDIENTS
4 lbs. Boneless Beef Chuck Pot Roast
2 tbsp. Extra Virgin Olive Oil
14 oz. Carrots, peeled and diced
5 oz. Celery, whole stalks
1 Onion (6oz.), peeled and cut in half
2 tsp. Salt, plus extra to season the meat
1 tsp. Black Pepper, plus extra to season the meat
4 cups Low Sodium Beef Broth
4 Cups Water
1 Cup Tomato Sauce
1 lb. small Pasta, I use ditalini
Grated Cheese to Garnish, I use Pecorino Romano
METHOD
Season both sides of the meat with salt and pepper. Heat up the olive in a large soup pot. Put the meat in the pot and sear for about 4 to 5 minutes on both sides and remove from the pot. Add in the onion, celery, carrots and season with salt and pepper. Cook on a low flame for about 5 to 8 minutes.
Add in the broth, water and tomato sauce. Be sure to scrape the bits off the bottom of the pan with your wooden spoon. Add the meat back to the pot. Put the lid on the pot, only leaving a small part open to let some of the steam out.
At three hours mark take the beef out. Using two forks, shred the beef.
Add the beef back to the pot and simmer for a half hour. In the meantime, boil your pasta.
Serve the soup with the pasta and garnish with grated Pecorino.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Thumbprint cookies – Google Allrecipes thumbprint cookies for the recipe. These are so good.  I used blueberry preserves this time but any jam will do!
Some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten were four simple words…
Let go or be dragged. 
        It’s time to head out into the winter chill to feed horses, goats and chickens and muck stalls.   Been doing it for 40 or so years and while my body complains a bit, the work also fortifies me,  body and soul.  Hard to explain and my husband often says “I don’t know how you do it, over and over and over again”  especially when the weather is yuck.  My connection with the animals is why I do it…. and  if you know, you know.
     Wishing you, me and everyone we hold dear a healthy, happy 2024 and beyond – If  I’ve still got any readers here and you’re still blogging,  leave your blog address in the comments so I can visit you later on today.
 Till soon –

Better Together

 

Do you celebrate Cinco de Mayo?  …The fifth of May happens to be our first date 37 years ago. Holy shit – thirty seven years goes by in a flash.  A lot has happened in those 37 years… mostly good, some great, and some awful.  We have our differences, like big ones..  we were married, divorced and remarried all in our 20’s.  But… we come together in the most important ways and as I get older I value that more than anything else.   As anyone who has lived for a while knows….Life can be hard at times and having your best friend by your side through it all is a lifeline.   Better together.

 

Speaking of friendships, love and  lifelines… have you read the book or watched Firefly Lane on Netflix?  I loved it, I think in the  series they got it perfect, the love, the laughs, the trials, triumphs, the heartbreak even.  Give it a look or read  if you haven’t already.

I keep glancing at the political news and I just cannot believe all the dumbfuckery, the cruelties, the hypocracies  and the deceits.  Where can the truth be found… and trusted?  Where are the consequences?   And it’s hard to fathom that we don’t have better candidates to refresh our political landscape with something more logical, forward thinking,  honest,  folks with a –better together –  mentality.  Jeeezus, all the corruption.  And  all the old men should just go. Just… go.

I’ve been walking with Kai on local trails, hope to expand our horizons elsewhere in the state soon, the ticks have been brutal already.  I have yet to find an all natural spray that actually repels them all, but maybe it’s helping somewhat.  If you have suggestions, please leave them in the comments.  The trails, the woods, the fields, the rock outcroppings, the shoreline… just beautiful.  It’s where I recharge and I love having a dog to share the hikes with, he motivates me to get out there, keep moving.   Better together.

Our grandson is doing well, despite being born so early he is tiny but mighty and growing, thankfully.  Almost two months old 💙 Our granddaughter is due in a few weeks! Say a prayer for a safe and healthy delivery for mama and baby, will you?  To watch both my children become parents at the same time, and us becoming grandparents! (which we just love beyond  description!) .. is such a gift.

 

 

I like to make a fruit/greens smoothie at breakfast time occasionally – a favorite mix is frozen dark cherries, a banana, some honey, a handful of blueberries and a handful of spinach.  Delish!  and good for you. Try it!

This farm continues to give me peace as I tend the critters and the barn, appreciate the gardens and walk the fields and give thanks for our journey  to here.

I hope all is well in your world,  thank you for stopping by.

Till soon,

 

We’re all just walking each other home

 

….. one of my most favorite quotes, attributed to Ram Dass, an American spiritual leader of the 1970s.  This country and the world at large is in big trouble on so many levels, all because of the flaws in humanity.  Recently I am making every effort to focus on the uplifting things, and that quote is one of them.  It truly helps me to believe in that simple concept and gives me inspiration to do whatever little good  and truly see it anywhere it can be found.

I don’t have much to say here right now, just that I am enjoying my new grandson immensely and watching my daughter become the wonderful mother we all knew she’d be.

We’ve had some glorious weather and I’ve been out in it, soaking it all up, getting some exercise, enjoy this farm and the woods and the shoreline trails.

Till soon –

 

My Sunshine

 

Being a grandmother is something I have looked forward to since my kids grew into adults.  I have missed the baby stage and all those in between.. with the exception of the moody teenager who knows everything everywhere all at once, with attitude.  Our grandson was born six weeks early and spent two weeks in the NICU just to be certain he was strong enough to come home with his parents.  He was and he is thriving, having had his first pediatric check up yesterday with a glowing report.  He is my little sunshine and I am so very proud of the mother my daughter became instantly.   I love that my own mother gets the chance to be a great grandmother, too.

My daugher-in-law is due with  baby girl in May, stay tuned!  She sent me a picture she found of a beautiful easy-to-make spring centerpiece and I absolutely love it.  So easy to throw together, too…. use a clear vase – almost any shape will do… a bunch of carrots with the greens still attached, a handful of tulips… put the carrots in the vase with greens sticking out of the top, place tulips in the center of the greens, and fill with water 🥕 🌹

The above is mine, and below is my neighbor’s 🐇 – love the purple tulips!

With the warmer weather I’m more inclined to get out for walks/hikes and get those recommended 10,000 daily  steps in.   That’s harder than it would seem, but I have been managing to come close and if I take an extended hike/walk I surpass it.  Of course, I’m using my phone health app to monitor and I don’t wear my phone on my person at all times, so it’s possible I’m getting quite a bit more in than what’s recorded.  A recent physical indicated elevated cholesterol, which runs in my family, but a subsequent scan of arteries reveals no disease  and I really really want to stay away from statins so I’m tweaking my diet (plenty of room to improve!) and sticking to a decent exercise routine.  Can you believe I still haven’t lost the 25 pounds I’d like to lose? Oh, it comes off in little bits and then jumps right back up to that yucky number.  I’m not giving up though… for me, it’s what I’m putting in my mouth, not a lack of working out.  Ask me how much I love food though!  It’s my drug of choice and I like to cook and bake for others, which kinda sucks when there’s a weight loss goal to be achieved.

Bob’s Pond  and Hammonasset River Trail with my trail buddy, Kai.  Yesterday was a beautiful spring day, so we took advantage of the inspiration and explored land trust trails.

 

The sight and sound of the roiling river was music to my soul.  As a hearing impaired person, to be able to still hear this force of water is a gift 🙂

I could talk about the horror of the newest school shooting and that hideous fact that death by fire arms is now the leading cause of death for children in this country, but I am so weary and so disgusted by the lack of any action by the powers that be… and for all the wrong reasons… but I’ll leave it here with my mother’s words below…

*Thoughts and Prayers*
Let’s send thoughts and prayers again.
It worked the last time
and the time before that and the one before that.
It did work, it must have
because we haven’t done much of anything else!
Thoughts and prayers because it can’t be guns.
The NRA says it’s not and they would know
and tell us the truth.
They don’t benefit from a flush gun industry.
Do they?
Thoughts and prayers because….
the Second Amendment says that’s all that’s allowed
according to the NRA and many legislators.
Besides guns don’t kill people, people kill people.
People kill children.
People kill children with guns.
We can put flowers outside the schools, the churches,
the synagogues, the mosques, the supermarkets.
That’s allowed,
Along with the thoughts and prayers, of course.
Just not sensible gun laws.
Meaningful legislation is not necessary.
It will upset the NRA, the Gun Lobby, the Insurrectionists,
the White Supremacists.
Limited magazines not necessary, background checks at gun shows
not necessary!
So, here we are, left with thoughts and prayers
And flowers.
Always the flowers and the candles, against the fences.
As for more mass shootings
Well, tomorrow’s another day.
Mourning in America!
I’m not a religious person but I find myself praying for us all .. often.   I hope all is well in your neck of the woods, thank you for  taking the time to stop in here, your comments and thoughts are always appreciated .

 

Just Call Me GRAM ! ❤

My first born had her first born on Saturday!! We are over the moon in love with our precious grandson.  He was in a hurry, apparently, so he is six weeks early. However, and Amen… he is healthy and doing great!   So is his mother, whom I am so very proud of ❤

 

    There’s something about being in a hospital that gives you such a diverse slice of humanity. So many stories passing by- the joyous, the tragic, the troubled, and everything in between. The highly educated and skilled and affluent, the poor and struggling, the healthy and the unwell, the families, the elderly, the living and the dying. Those who love their jobs no matter how demanding and draining and fraught with difficulty, both emotional and physical , and those who begrudgingly get through their shift.
I can of course only speak from my own experiences and being so hard of hearing, I pay much more attention to those around me than I suppose the average person might. What I notice are the wealthiest among us are not for certain those walking around with Gucci bags and a stellar wardrobe and a fine education and important meetings and places to be. It’s not even the healthiest among us, although that’s a treasure one should value above all … Nope. It’s the people who have enough love within that they freely shine it on others regardless of their circumstances, in the warm greetings and casual smiles in passing, the little courtesies, the big ones, the sharing of stories and commiseration , the compassion shown to strangers, the nurses and healthcare staff who are exhausted, who have seen so much heartbreak, but still show up and shine their light and do the hard things, and do them with kindness. It’s the people who embrace without effort the notion that we are all in this together , that truly get the most out of life. They have what matters most.
Till soon –

Wonder Women

To all of you out there, cheers to women everywhere. We are life makers, life savers, love makers, career builders, home makers, soul mates, worry warriors, the sounding board, the bulletin board, the safe place, the calm in the storm.. the storm itself when need be…the soft landing, the tough love, the easy love …the Love. And we each know how damn hard that can be at times. But we do it anyway, even when our own reserves are depleted, we find it. Cheers to you, to me.. to all of us ❤

The Happening You Must Focus On

 

 

     It is easy to mourn the lives we aren’t living. Easy to wish we’d developed other talents, said yes to different offers. Easy to wish we’d worked harder, loved better, handled our finances more astutely, been more popular, stayed in the band, gone to Australia, said yes to the coffee or done more bloody yoga.
     It takes no effort to miss the friends we didn’t make and the work we didn’t do and the people we didn’t marry and the children we didn’t have. It is not difficult to see yourself through the lens of other people, and to wish you were all the different kaleidoscopic versions of you they wanted you to be. It is easy to regret, and keep regretting, ad infinitum, until our time runs out.
     But it is not the lives we regret not living that are the real problem. It is the regret itself. It’s the regret that makes us shrivel and wither and feel like our own and other people’s worst enemy.
     We can’t tell if any of those other versions would have been better or worse.      Those lives are happening, it is true, but you are happening as well, and that is the happening we have to focus on. ~Matt Haig
(Book: The Midnight Library) 
    I love that passage so much!  I also read the book, and while it wasn’t one of my favorite reads, it’s a good one… and that group of text above? Spot on.  Who among us hasn’t dreamed another dream, had a few regrets, wasted too much time on what isn’t.  And we all know, life is short and too precious for such nonsense.  I am a firm believer in making the best of every day, even when I catch myself doing anything but.  Then I readjust the sails.
     The new barn has been a Godsend here on the farm. Both of our girlies are very pregnant and I’ve taken over all barn chores again, which means a lot of water buckets and hay bales and stall mucking etc. etc.   With the yoga and stretching/meditation I’ve taken up, my body is faring better than I had expected. 40 plus years of all that work  has left me with some arthritis and worn parts, blah blah. But it’s also made me a strong work horse and I’m grateful to  still be able to do it. And I love those animals so.  They are my heart and my peace and my salvation often.  We got our first real snow of the winter on march 1st.  In New England, that’s just strange. But it’s made all that work easier on this older girl.
      I have always felt the sky is like  a painting we live under, it’s landscape always changing, and all we ever need to do is look up to see the mood of the moment, the beauty of nature, the temperament of the weather gods.  Who hasn’t marveled at a full moon rising, the night stars on a cloudless night, the rolling roiling storm clouds coming across the horizon or the gorgeous colors of a beautiful sunrise-sunset.  On the hill and fields of this farm we have what I call big sky country, a big patch of blue  with  many glorious sunrises and sunsets.
  I made a few more recipes from The Lost Kitchen files…
New England baked beans and brown bread –  first time I ever bought a slab of salt pork, had to ask the butcher where to find it at the store.
 And Waldorf Salad – with apples, celery, Fennel, arugula, lemon juice and zest,  candied walnuts, mayo, salt & pepper… SOOO GOOD!
     The Mr. turned 59!  We had a lovely family dinner at one of our favorite restaurants near our Stella by the Sea.  Our mothers are still with us and we are so grateful they are here to meet their first great grands.
 Cheers to many more years!
 I completed the Woodstock, VT  Middle bridge painting, whose true angles are a bit skewed in any photo taken, so this was a real challenge and it’s far from perfection, but I’m glad I attempted it.  The bridge for me  represents many happy family memories there  and hopefully more to come.  The lighted star up on the hill is the first thing I look for when we drive into town.
   Had a physical this week, and it’s clear I need to get serious about cleaning up my diet.  Cholesterol numbers less than stellar, weight – about 25 pounds overweight.  Bleh.  I get plenty of exercise, so… as the doctor has often said… it’s what you put in your mouth.   Each new day is a chance to get it right.. right? I’m making a concerted effort to improve those numbers.  Being a food loving person and one who likes to cook and bake for others, it ain’t easy.
      I hope all is well in your neck of the woods – till soon 🌹