Category: Uncategorized

Mothering

   I have been mothering things since I could walk, I’m pretty sure.  It started with my favorite Winnie the Pooh, which I still have… .. He and the Pooh my 3 year old son picked on our first trip to Disney World reside on my dresser. 

  The mothering moved up to pets we had in my childhood home, including dogs, cats, fish, parakeets, a hamster or two, a goat (long story for another day) and fancy silk mice I hid from my mother disguised in a P& G crate in my room. 
   I love being a mother!  It’s my most favorite thing in this world.  As for MY mother – well, she put up with one heck of a stubborn teen, and there may have been a grocery throwing incident or two and some pathetic grades from a reluctant student, but we came out of that tunnel with a treasured relationship.  The reason I believe I can do what I set my mind to is in part because my mother told me I could.  There’s no greater gift than that. 
   My kids are grown and we remain close.  I hope they will always come to me when they need something, anything. 

 I won’t ever stop being their mother, for sure the mothering instinct continues… but the daily coddling had to find another outlet… hence.. the critters on this farm serve an important purpose. For I can only be me. The Mother. 
Currently out in the little greenhouse, there are three chickens.  Our little greenhouse has become the chicken hospital.  They are looking a little iffy… sick with something but I’m not sure what. I’ve consulted a vet and all the chicken illnesses you can google on the internet.  So far, nothing really matches their symptoms exactly.  Chickens are tough to diagnose and fall prey to many illnesses.  It’s very important to keep their housing clean and give them proper nutrition.  These guys just look like they feel yucky, and one has a messy vent.  The vet advised against an antibiotic for now, with apple cider vinegar in their water and probiotic supplement in their feed.  
 Meanwhile.. back at the Eggplant on the other side of the garage… The young chicks and my older girls are doing well and as soon as this rain lets up I will bleach the hell out of the coop just for good measure.  The littles are still living in their own section ( under the tarp) until they reach the same size as the others. 
Let’s talk about rain – boy have we gotten our share.  This morning the horses are tucked into their stalls with grain and hay and an open top door for fresh air. 
 The mothering of anything will never be described as glamorous, we can say that for certain, can’t we.. …     Me at 6:30 this morning as I mothered the crew on the farm.  I’m not showing you my pajama bottoms soaked to the ankles…. yep, sometimes that’s how we roll around here. 
  Because of the torrent of rain we’ve been getting, everything is so vibrantly GREEN. We’ve planted the second half of the Garden beds, now I can only hope the tender plants don’t drown. 
  As I sit here typing this blog entry, my three “other kids” lie around me – This is the thing they do every day – whatever room I’m working in.. they find a spot to settle, moving with me through the house as I tackle the tasks at hand.  It’s a good life, the best life I could have hoped for, full and rich with  mothering.  
Happy Mother’s Day to you, my friends.  If you are a nurturer in any way, you are a mother of this earth. Celebrate you! 

Fire and Nice

  Jeez, I keep starting out with a nice garden post and just as I’m about to hit publish yet another fire breaks out in the swamp.  How’bout that Comey firing!….  this oughta be interesting. 
   Meanwhile.. back at the ranch…. 
  We’ve had a chilly spring so far in New England – as you drive along the roads and skim the fields and forest,  the trees look like they’re afraid to unfurl their leaves.  We did manage to plant half of our garden beds a few days ago…praying we don’t get a frost. 
 Planted on the left, the right still needs weeding and tilling.  Someone told us planting rye over the winter is good for vegetable garden beds.  I’m thinking not. 
 
 In the planted bed we have romaine, eggplant, yellow wax beans, yellow squash and those 500 or so onions.   I plant a row of marigolds at the base of the raised bed every year, as they help keep the bugs off the plants. It really does work and by mid summer produces a beautiful show of yellow and orange. 

 See how anemic the leafery looks just about everywhere?  Yet the grass is growing like crazy.  We’ve had plenty of rain.   My border garden tulips have come up again, good to see  the voles have not destroyed them. 
  On Staten Island back in the day, my grandfather Al had beautiful garden beds. His little house with it’s beautiful tiny lawn and blossoming cherry tree and tulip beds actually graced the cover of Scott’s turf bags and brochures.   The Tulips in the spring drew crowds, no kidding.  We weren’t allowed to pick them, but I had a favorite teacher, Miss Ferragano, who knew of his gardens and loved them.  He would bring me out to the garden bed with snippers in hand and let me choose the ones to snip. I would proudly go to school the next day with a beautiful bouquet for my favorite teacher. To this day a vase full of tulips reminds me of  Grandpa Al, a hard working,  kind and humorous soul who certainly  had his own trials in life, but you’d never know it by his attitude.  
 My “seaside real estate”  garden at the side gate is thriving, the phlox taking over and the new dawn rose climbers have taken over the trellis.  It’s called this because having resigned ourselves to the fact that seaside real estate had gotten too expensive to fullfill our dream of owning a little piece of it, I collected rocks and shells from our adventures and deposited them here.  Little did we know, the affordable opportunity to buy Stella would become a reality down the road. 
  The horses are loving their spring pasture grass… and the hay fields are flourishing too. 

 
Speaking of seaside real estate… Now that the renovation work is done at Stella and the grass seed has been sown, the new tender grass shoots are rising. 
  Have you ever come across “as the crow flies” destination totem poles?   I made one for Stella, we’ll “plant” it this weekend.  

A Voice from the Past

   Below is a link to a fascinating and horrifying article/Interview aired on 60 Minutes regarding War and Humanity.   After my previous and fairly heavy post, (thank you to all who participated)  I wanted to share my garden with you to lighten the load…but this came up in the news and I feel it’s so very important to share..   This is a must read for anyone, and it’s not a political statement, it’s a humanitarian statement. 

  I bet you join me in this…. I’ve often wondered “How could so many people follow and carry out the hideous orders of a man like H*Tler. How did that atrocity happen not so long ago? Especially in a well educated and supposedly enlightened Europe?… This man  in the article/interview below was in the heart of it, has perspective none of us possess.

 We need to learn from history and stop repeating mistakes.. we need to stop turning the other way, avoiding making contact, afraid to make waves because it’s a little uncomfortable.   We need to trust our gut instincts and have faith in truth prevailing. We need to voice our concerns in any way we are capable and willing to do so…even if it’s a little blog like mine or a facebook status. We can’t move mountains by ourselves, we can’t toss boulders, but we can at the very least toss pebbles, those little ripples traveling farther than you would think.   It matters, it’s important, let’s not allow our humanity to fall at the hands of the few elite who have use of the bigger platforms and abuse them. 

Please take a few minutes to click on the link and read. 

I am what a Pre-Existing Condition looks like

      Have you been paying attention to just exactly what this is that the idiots in Washingt*n are trying to pass off as Healthcare? Some members of the GOP admit they didn’t even read the damned proposal before they voted.  Holy sh*t, isn’t that what they’re getting paid very well for?  Isn’t this thing important enough to read the fine print, let alone the big print all the way through ?    If you voted for the Orange Scream, is this what you hoped for?  Basically, if you’re a woman, you ARE a pre-existing condition.  If you’re poor, if you’re sick, if your child is sick.. you’re f*cked.  One idiot in particular said in slightly different words, if you’re sick it’s your fault – poor choices!  
  WTF. 
  I don’t know how any member of the Rep*blican party can feel good about the soulless group currently representing them… how did such a ruthless, soulless, heartless, clueless group obtain such power again.  Apparently we don’t learn important lessons from history, we are doomed to repeat them.  When did enough of us decide that decency, democracy, fairness, common sense, truth, justice and THE AMERICAN WAY… was worth throwing under the proverbial bus because -change -.   What -change- did we bring on that was worth forgoing our core values, our very decency.  Why are we turning a blind eye?  Why is nepotism suddenly OK.  Why is the POTUS lying about little things, big things, getting our HISTORY wrong,  pissing off world leaders at random, tweeting ridiculousness in the middle of the night…  and getting away with it –  how is this OK?  What happened, America?  WTF happened?  
   You know what’s worse than the joke below? …. 
the fact that it’s  actually what he said.  
****************************
 The further a society drifts from the truth…
The more it will hate those that speak it. 
–George Orwell
  Funny thing – when I talk like this, I am often accused.. and I use the word accused… of being a Liberal. A Democrat.  As if those are dirty words.  I’m actually none of the above.  But hell, when you express concern for human beings, for decency, for fairness… for inclusion, … if that’s what you want to call me?  It means the republican party doesn’t represent any of these things.   So I’ll take it. 
  Believe people when they tell you who they are. 


     

Invisible

   When you’re not extremely old and your voice sounds fairly normal,  being hearing impaired is an invisible handicap that can frustrate others as well as yourself.  I’m not using the word “deaf” because I do still hear some things….this hearing impairment of mine is such a strange thing.  According to the various hearing specialists I’ve seen,  I am deaf.  Language deaf in particular.  What -language deaf- means is I don’t hear all the parts of speech anymore, so when someone is talking to me it sounds as if they’ve got both hands over their mouth or like I’m hearing their voice through water.  I’ve lost all mid and high tones completely, so I hear only the base of things, music included.  To top off that annoyance, I have tinnitus…  bells and whistles, crickets, chirps and tweets go off all the time in my ears, 24-7.   That’s my brain’s way of  creating the sound it knows I should be receiving from my ears. Since no sound is coming from my ears, my brain MAKES the sound to compensate.  Crazy, right? 
     For me, the loss of music is the worst. I used to play instruments and absolutely loved music, so many forms of it, too.  Sometimes I can still tell you what song is playing in my vicinity just by the base it presents. The song itself I know only from memory. 
     So.. the invisible part.  When you have a handicap that’s invisible.. more often than not, you are on the receiving end of other people’s frustration with you, not their sympathy.  Now, I don’t want people’s sympathy – Lord knows there are worse things in life than being “deaf’.  I am so grateful for the life I have, in so many ways.  There’s no denying, though, that the frustration displayed by others on occasion gets old.   
   A few days ago I was at the grocery store and apparently the clerk asked me if I had any “gold coins”.  I didn’t hear her and kept looking down at my purse trying to find my scan card.  When I looked up she was staring at me with a pissed off look.   I recognized the look and said “I’m sorry, I’m hearing impaired. Did you say something?”… She then repeated the line, and because she wasn’t using her mouth much I couldn’t read her lips.   Not her fault, but I had to say it again… “still didn’t get what you’re saying, I apologize… can you try one more time? ”   and she said loudly and clearly.. “are you for real?” The person behind me  kindly touched my arm, looked me right in the eye and spoke clearly using her mouth expressively… and I got what she was saying.  One stupid line took three minutes and a snarky comment to get past.
  My part time job is as editor of a local publication.  Part of my job is having to interview people to highlight their business here in town.  I have a very understanding employer, and because of the hearing issue, I conduct interviews through e-mail and it’s worked out really well… most of the time.   I send a series of questions,  simple questions that are easy to answer, which are answered in return e-mail.. .. and I spin an article out of the info.  Sometimes… the message is lost on the person I’ve contacted for the interview.  
Recent conversation via e-mail:
 Good morning! Below you’ll find a few questions regarding the profile article that will appear in the ____.  Please answer at your convenience in return e-mail and I will put together an article and get it back to you for review. 
 *I prefer to interview in person – call me. 
 I understand, but as we discussed earlier, I am hearing impaired and prefer to gather information via e-mail so that I have all the details correct.  Should only take a few minutes of your time, you have a week to get it back to me. Thank you! 
  *Can’t you just call my secretary then?  I hate typing.
  I can’t call her but if you forward this e-mail to her or give me her e-mail, she can answer the questions too. Whatever works is fine with me. 
*  How about you just come in and we can talk in my office? 
I understand that might be easier for you, but I will still be attempting to read your lips and write on the paper at the same time, I fear I won’t get the information correct, really need the article to be accurate. 
* OH, I see.. just bring a tape recorder and you can write it down later! 
I won’t be able to hear the tape later.  Any chance you can just type the answers to the few questions in an e-mail?  I pulled the rest off your website. 
    Mind you… all this was e-mail back and forth. Already he had typed almost as much as if he had just answered the questions initially in e-mail.  I haven’t heard back yet… probably because he’s frustrated. 
  Last Saturday night I took one of our dogs to the emergency vet. The jury is still out on whether she’ll be OK, we go back to the vet today.   Anyway… the receptionist had multiple piercings on her lips, big hoops and little studs, my God that had to be uncomfortable.   As you can imagine, I’m staring at her lips to try to decipher what she’s saying. I do this with anyone I meet.  She doesn’t know this, of course, and by her demeanor it’s clear she thinks I’m staring at her piercings and has taken offense.  I realize what’s happening and say “I’m sorry – I am hearing impaired and need to read your lips to get through the conversation, that’s why I’m staring at your mouth, I  should have explained, I apologize”.     She then smiles and says.. .OOOH…. that’s ok then!  I thought you were being rude. 
  I was chaperoning at one of my son’s dances. A few other moms I had not met previously were there as well.  The next day I got an e-mail from a good friend –  “Hey,  I guess you were chaperoning with  (insertname) last night. She called me this morning and said – Wow,  M’s mom is a real bitch. Several times when I tried making small talk she just flat out ignored me!.   My friend has a great sense of humor, laughed and said –  She’s deaf!!…. and I had to laugh too. 
*sigh.  I hate rude people. I hate looking or behaving like a rude person, yet that’s the impression people get around me on occasion. Sometimes I think I should just wear a sign that says – I’m deaf.    Out of frustration I actually had a tee shirt made that says  Deaf on the front, and Still Deaf on the back.  Then I realized it sounds like I’m frustrated, so I never wore it. 
     For my family, it’s just as annoying for them as it is for me.  Can you imagine having to repeat yourself sometimes three and four times to get a simply line of communication across? Daily?  Or how about that closed caption scrolling across the bottom of the TV screen, always.   
    What I have to stop doing is the apologizing.  Bad habits are hard to break, though.  It’s not other people’s fault that they can’t see my handicap, but it’s not my fault that I’m deaf either.  I can’t change my hearing status, but I can certainly stop apologizing for it.    NOTE TO SELF. 


   
  
 
  
  

Cottage Life & Family

   Friday and Saturday weather was glorious, Spring is in full bloom and for whatever the reason, my allergies aren’t bad.  I use Nasacort spray every few days and it seems to be keeping the allergy misery at bay.  I am also happy to report that since I began taking a small dose of  Melatonin  each evening, my sleep is indeed improving.  Boy what a difference that makes… proper sleep. 
   
   On Friday evening we invited the moms down to Stella for dinner as the temps were in the 70’s and sunny most of the day.  The kids showed up too, and it was such a joy to share the evening with all.  M and I feel blessed to still have our moms around to enjoy the place, and we love the close relationship they have with our kids.  Not a day goes by that M doesn’t miss his father, who passed too young from Lung cancer, and we often think of what we all  have missed out on, what he missed out on, having left us too soon when the kids were still very young.  Because of that experience, we cherish those who are still among us, and the times we get to spend together. 

 These two are my true joy.  The fact that they get along even better as they mature is a beautiful thing. I know they will always have each other’s back and that is such a gift for a parent. 
   
My mother makes the best Gin & Tonic with a fresh twist of lime.. ever. 
The secret is in the ingredients… fresh lime squeeze, and Beef Eater Gin. 
Any other Gin just doesn’t cut it. 
 I’m pretty sure it’s in the dictionary next to the word refreshing. 
 I made that Trisha Yearwood Banana Pudding I posted previously (it’s in the recipes if you browse that tab on my blog)  I substituted the meringue on top  with fresh whipped cream enhanced with a little vanilla and a little sugar – absolutely delicious, wow.  Also hard to believe that was the first time I ever made  pudding from scratch.  When I make icebox cake, I use the Jello Cook and serve variety but what a difference, the pudding from scratch, and what a delicious and easy crowd pleasing dessert this is. 
 Frasier has gotten used to cottage life very quickly too.. he has his own set of bowls and bed and a gate on the deck so I can keep him up there if I’m working in the little yard and don’t want to worry about him chasing the many  rabbits.  At that moment he was wondering if I was going to share a little taste of that pudding.  This after he had already been given a hotdog and a hamburger.  He’s just a little chubby like his mama right now.  *sigh   We both adore food. 

Yesterday while the sun was  shining with  the temps in the 70’s,  my son and I ventured out in the kayaks and did a little exploring.  The water was still chilly at 40 something degrees but it was clear and refreshing and the salt air scent was intoxicating.  Cormorants were resting on the rocks, wings expanded, sunning themselves. The leaves on the trees are just coming out along the shoreline, but we saw many people enjoying their yards and decks, busy  with the spring opening rituals that are a part of cottage life.  I love watching the “island” wake up for the season and feel so very grateful that we are a part of it.

Blossoming

 New England has seen one wet Spring so far… everything’s pretty soggy ’round here.  The leaves are beginning to pop and pollen would coat everything right about now if it weren’t so rainy.  The grass is a vibrant green and the horses are loving the pastures… 

 My tulips are blooming in the border gardens and the peach trees are just bursting… 

 The vegetable garden beds so far have yielded an abundant weed crop… and the 500 onions are coming along…   we’ve got some work to do out there. 
 The chicks were moved out to the garage a few weeks ago, and now reside in their own little section of the Egg Plant.  There is bird mesh separating them from the big girls until they are about the same size – approx five months old.  The Mr. built a small make-shift coop for them so they are protected at night.  It’s basically a big plywood box with a door and holes in it.  
Amazing how fast chicks grow – this little girl (Florence) is  a Dark Brahma, the feathers on her feet are adorable.  
 I’ve been letting the big girls out to free range when I’m out there cleaning… it’s so good for them but the coyote and hawk population around here makes it treacherous. 
 And because I gotta be me,  let’s talk about this unpleasant subject for just a moment….  how’bout that interview 45 gave Reuters yesterday in regard to his first 100 days?….   I said from the very beginning…. I don’t think he wants the job!  (And I really didn’t think he’d get it)…. Why would a man of his temperament want all the restraints the POTUS position will bring to his life?  He would hate it!…. 
So I have to tell you… I do get just a little satisfaction from reading this yesterday… 
*sigh.    He’s gotta be him, too. 

Cleaning House

      When I started this blog years ago I had many followers because we were doing a major reconstruction of this old house, and folks from all over enjoyed following the process from start to finish.  We even had a person of importance contact us to photograph the house, unfortunately it beared no fruit in the end.  Boy, when I look at that post now, the house was decorated so differently, I guess I like to change it around now and again.   Stella of course was a much smaller scale project.

     During that time, I contemplated adding in “ads”, with the thought that if I were going to spend time devoted to this blog, I might as well make a little money doing it.  But then when I saw the actual ads on my page, I hated the look, the distraction, the noise. The creative side of me was revolted, and so I stripped it all down to bare blog again. Ah, much better.  If you come here now and then, you’ll notice the look of my blog changes frequently.  My creative restlessness is obvious – and it was one of the main reasons I considered moving over to wordpress.  After doing some research, I’ve come to the conclusion  it would just be too big of a pain in the a** to change it over, and I like the idea of FREE with blogger. I just hope Google doesn’t decide to ditch it all some day, now that would suck. 

    
     What attracts you to any given blog?  For me, getting the sense that the author of the blog is real in their expression of their experiences and what they are sharing is key.  I love learning about regions other than the one I live in, the sharing of ideas, recipes, political exasperations (because lately that’s all there is), gardening and health advice, family values, issues, trials and triumphs.  I like the friendships that inevitably form if you stick around long enough, and it’s a stress reliever in some ways – a creative outlet, a place to share.  My blog face has changed once again, all the “clutter” is at the bottom – blog roll, labels, search box, etc.    When you visit, I don’t want you to be assaulted by a bunch of stuff all at once.  I hope I finally achieved a soothing pallet for your viewing pleasure – if not in my words, at the very least in the visual.

      Because I am procrastinating once again as I glance over my shoulder at the dog who needs walking (actually it’s ME who needs walking) and   I hear the whisper of the laundry pile sitting on top of my bed with a soggy little dog sitting on top of that…  (yep it WAS a clean pile) …. let me share just a few more things with you today.

 Great recipe below  I’m going to make and bring down to the cottage this weekend for the family – because can we all say a collective Hallelujah to the approaching sunny 80 degree temps?  We’re actually going to drag the kayaks down to the waters edge and maybe even get in them for the first time this season….

Skinny Zucchini Casserole

 That’s the healthy part of this  weekend’s meal plan… and this is the other part…

Trisha Yearwoods banana Pudding   because Dang…..

 Now, off to walk that dog…..  Till soon, friends…. thanks for stopping by.

Summer neighborhood

     After barn chores and coop chores and a haircut for Frasier on the back deck, a wellness check at the vet in a nearby town for Frasier and Bailey,  and a major cleanup effort when I arrived home to find a shelf in the fridge had broken while the husband was -lookin-for-somethin-  and therefore  the glass jars of pickles, vinegar, relish, jam, syrup.. had shattered all over the floor leaving every bit of every thing in the vicinity  sticky and glass shardy and he-who-had-a-meeting  couldn’t do a proper job cleaning it up so just do it, K? … 
   After that…
…  I said Frasier?.. waddya say you and I go down to Stella and see what’s going on in our Summer ‘hood.  I need fresh air, don’t you? 
    He agreed whole heartedly so we hopped back in Emma (my Jeep)  and off we went. Do you name your cars?  When I moved to CT from NY my plate was Ema and a number.  I have kept that plate ever since  (30 years now) and therefore, the car I drive is Ema.  (pronounced Emma). 
Emma and Stella  amongst the Forsythia…  a sight for sore eyes. 
 As soon as we got there we met with a neighbor, a lovely older woman who has been summering at her cottage for over 60 years, since the age of 6.  I gave her a little tour of our progress and she was over the moon – as was I at the prospect of such a lovely person just up the hill, on the other side of  Father Jim’s place.   
    Once inside,  I took note of the cluttered sitting area in the cottage and moved all the stuff, because I hadn’t already done enough to my aching back so I knew I should push it just a little more for good measure.  I think it looks better now, more balanced, less cluttered.  If you’re wondering why I placed an off-white rug in a summer cottage space where there will indeed be sandy feet traffic regularly, I don’t have a reasonable answer. 
 Then I finished setting up my husbands sand jar collection… for many years when a friend would travel he would ask if they would bring back a bit of sand or rock, etc. from their destination.  We’ve done the same when we vacation.  The collection is quite exotic now, none of the exotic locations having come from our excursions.. with sands from Ireland, Bermuda, Australia, India, Greece, Cuba, Hawaii, the Hoover Dam, Bali, etc… and the collection sat in a big box in the basement for all this time.   I’m thinking I should have nicknamed Stella “The Sand Box”  now that she’s given the collection a home.  

       So after shuffling all that stuff around, I almost sat for a moment to enjoy the view out the window, when I caught a glimpse of my rear in a mirror… and remembered right quick why the walk was the most important goal of the day.   (*sigh) 
As we walked the lane there were daffodils everywhere…. 

At the rock jetty Frasier did a little wade-in….. which he quickly surmised was foolish given the frigid water and new haircut status.

Along with the daffodils were a lot of these in the woods… 
I believe these are Lesser Celandine… 
More daffs….
 and as we rounded the last bend heading back to the cottage,
we met another neighbor who lives there year round..
 another warm and welcoming person who’s gardens
are beautiful… 
Speaking of gardens…
this weekend we  top soiled, hayed and seeded the little lawn
and planted the road side border –
All shade loving plants as this side of the house
is full shade with just a little diffuse sun
Astilbe, Hosta, two hydrangea bushes, 
coral bells.
 I’m back home now,  contemplating dinner… 
reminding myself of that rear reflection in the mirror earlier today. 
The Struggle Is Real. 

Grab the Coffee and donuts

    First up – WordPress vs. Blogger –  any advice? What’s your experience?  As a creative person, I know Blogger is limited, but I’m used to it.  And Blogger is Free… that’s kinda nice. But did you know… Blogger is owned by Google.. and that means your content is owned by Google… and at any time whatsoever, they can just turn it off, be rid of  it, bye bye.  That means your blog and it’s contents. Gone.  *sigh… did not know that, kinda defeats the purpose of being a log for you, your friends and family over the long haul.

     Wordpress is more “technical”.. not as easy at first, needs some patience, of which I am in short supply, always..just my nature. And.. it’s not free. If I understand correctly, the most basic costs about $100. a year.  If that’s all I’d have to spend on it, it’s worth it to OWN your content and know it is not going to be erased by parent company. However, their security isn’t as high (google has much bigger security program) , bigger chance of hack with WordPress. Then there’s the tricky issue of transferring your blog to WordPress… not easy from what I have read.   Can any of you tell me your experience?  I think a few of my blog friends use WordPress. 

   *warning – If you didn’t know already, I  curse sometimes.  Blame it on my NY upbringing, except the rest of my family isn’t afflicted.  I know it’s not ladylike, but for me it fills the need, underscores the offense in the way I need to express it, a little satisfaction when talking about a less than satisfying situation, like a quick punch in the gut. Since I hate physical violence, the curse word does the job. 
   Next…how about B*ll O’Re*lly being fired from F@x!.. Ha!… Nothing turns me off more than an arrogant holier than thou a$$h*le, couldn’t have happened to a better guy –  don’t let the door hit ya! But let’s be honest, he’s being let go because of multiple sexual harassment issues –  and F@x didn’t fire him until sponsors started dropping like flies.  He also got a hefty 25 mil golden parachute… so they lose points there. It wasn’t their ethics that took him down.  No.. once again.. money.   I do feel at least the vernal pools at the edges of the swamp are beginning to drain.  There’s that. 
   Speaking of the swamp, how many flagrant outright lies, hypocricies, conflicts of interest,outright abuses of his priviledges and incompetencies is Agent Orange going to get away with before we collectively say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.  If you’re still proud of your new POTUS, I have to hand it to you, you’re able to overlook an awful lot for the sake of  the “agenda”… although.. does anyone really understand the Agenda?  If you do, please explain it to 45, because clearly, it’s lost on him.  Never in the history of EVER has there been a POTUS who flubbed, lied, mispoke, lied, abused his power, lied… and still had a base unwilling to acknowledge ANY of it.  So.. freak’n… strange, this acceptance or ignoring of the obvious ills.  SO strange.  It’s no longer about left vs. right.  Morals vs  none is more like it.  And his tweets?  Honestly…..  on some level 45 is mentally ill. No other explanation for it. 
    
    
    On a health note – Because I had some worrisome symptoms I went through a bunch of tests recently and thankfully all turned out well. Just minor annoyances of menopause , which I have apparently hit full steam ahead.  My advice here – get the health screenings regularly. Don’t skip them, they are important… especially as we age.   I turned 52 and my body said.. OK girl, time to throw some sh*t at you, just a reminder you’re no spring chicken.  
      Sleep is still  currently an issue for me – if I get five hours all in a row, it’s a good night.  My fibromyalgia reminds me on a daily basis that’s not enough sleep, so I am trying to find methods for getting more of it.  Currently my fibro doc has me on melatonin, and my OBGYN has put me on low dose of estradiol and progesterone.  In the long term these things aren’t great – they up your cancer risk. But to get me back on the right track they want me to try them short term.  They had me try a low dose of antidepressants as a sleep aid, didn’t work.  I already employ good sleep habits, I read before bed, I don’t eat shortly before turning in, no caffeine,  we go to bed at a decent time, always have been up before dawn but that’s not the issue.  I fall asleep without a problem, but staying asleep is another story…. have you had any of these struggles?  and what have you tried that actually works?   Things like Advil PM don’t have much effect, and you don’t really want to get into a pill taking habit either.   I can knock myself out with Benadryl, but I am a zombie the next day. 
       As for our current weight loss goals – the Mr. and I started Nutrisystem in January and he has lost 45 pounds – I kid you not.  The program works if you stick with it, strictly.  He looks and feels so much better.  So why didn’t I stay on it?  It’s full of prepackaged food, not all of it healthy – snacks are oreo type cookies, chocolate cupcakes, meals include pasta, rice, sodium, sodium.   Sounds unlikely, right?  It’s the portions that make the diet work.  I just really want to eat real, fresh, whole foods – so … I quit it.  I have not yet lost the 15 lbs I want to lose.  Now that I know I’m not dying and I can push myself with the exercise, I have started the weight loss goals again, let’s see where I get by summer.  One thing I did learn through nutrisystem is… it’s all about calorie intake – and .. PORTIONS.  
     Last but definitely not least… my boy, my baby, my youngest child, has turned 21. Oh, how time flies…. 
     The family spent Easter giving a large donation to the Tribe at Mohegan Sun – a delicious buffet lunch and then some obsessive lever pulling, button punching slot machine worship ensued.  I think half  the state of Connecticut was in attendance as well. 
     I love this boy beyond measure, he is kind, considerate, appreciative, inquisitive, and just as stubborn and thick headed as his mother….but thankfully he has not picked up my tendency toward profanity.   I’m also very grateful for this extended family of ours – we are so very lucky to live near each other, to be able to spend time together, to recognize the value of doing so.        –  It’s all good.