Uncategorized – Page 26 – This Old House 2

*sigh

This week has had some horrible headlines.

49 people killed by an insane axxhole who’s wife knew he was planning a mass attack and yet let it happen. She even visited the site of his crime with him several times and “tried to talk him out of it”. …. She should be arrested. She should be on a terror watch list. Oh wait.. HE was on a terror watch list and had been investigated at least two times… and yet he had a permit go carry and buy guns. He was employed.. as a security guard. This time the axx was a homophobe. And actually, now it appears he may have been secretly gay… maybe he just couldn’t stand himself and his reality and so he lashed out at a people who would have embraced him if he could have embraced himself. Really, people, we all need to get over ourselves and even our chosen religions. Before religion there were just humans. Before segregation there were just humans. Before travel became a thing and we weren’t stuck to just one region where everyone looked the same, we were just humans. The world was a kinder place then, despite the lack of all the convenient technology that is supposed to make life so much easier. We all need to be – just human- again…

The anti-gun restrictions people are full of hysteria over – it’s not the guns that kill, it’s the people. Don’t take my guns away, blah blah blah blah. We own guns in this house, to be clear. We would pass criteria checking on our mental health status and our criminal record or rather, the lack of one. I don’t mind someone checking into that. If you have guns, I want you to pass that checklist too. Why is that such a hard pill for gun owners to swallow? It may not stop the madmen from their act, but it would sure make it harder. Doing nothing is not the answer. It’s not any answer at all. When the politicians and the religious leaders say “Let us all pray for the families of the victims”… well prayer is nice and good and maybe even comforting, but it sure as hell isn’t enough. It’s becoming a joke, that statement, used by those who have the power to do more about it, but don’t.

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Last night a family was enjoying Movie Night on the beach at the Grand Fl*ridian Disney resort. Their 2 year old boy just yards away from them, was splashing around in less than a foot of water at the lagoons edge. A sandy beach lagoons edge. You’ve probably read it already – he was taken by an alligator right in front of his parents. They’re still looking for his body. What a horrible, horrible thing. Already, insensitive people are chirping about the ignorance of the family who lost their boy in one of the most horrific ways you could imagine..right in front of them as they tried to pull him from the jaws of the alligator. Disney has “no swimming” signs posted along the beach, but they truck in loads of sugar white sand to encourage people to gather there. No signs say “WARNING: ALLIGATORS”. You can bet the ranch if any of us saw a sign that says that, we wouldn’t be chilling on that sugar white sand beach making sandcastles, right?

M and I, years ago along the shores of that same lagoon…. Look like alligator territory to you? Back then there were no “no swimming” signs either.

I feel so badly for the families in Orlando today – all of them.

Chicks.. on several levels.

Some girls grab a book and head to the beach to relax. Me? You can find me at the coop with another kind of Chicks and Buns…. This life I live ain’t always easy – it looks beautiful, but it’s also hard work and my aching neck tells that story well. There are some real perks, though. This is one of them.

My mom is a breast cancer survivor, as are several of my friends, Pam Fox is one of them. Pam is an amazing person – a true champion for the Underdog – canines and humans alike.

She’s walking the Avon walk in NYC to help raise funds – Won’t you please consider a donation in any amount, even $5. gets them that much closer to a cure. Link for donation below..

http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk/NewYork?px=8114340&pg=personal&fr_id=2486

Banned

So the Mr. and I decided to take an evening ride down the shoreline on Saturday night, because it was such a glorious (summer!) evening. We went semi topless, as that’s a heck of a lot easier than taking the entire top off the Jeep. The evening was enjoyable, relaxing, a welcome reprieve… until…

Here’s where it got ugly.

I take pride in being one of those Jeep Wrangler owners who participate in the long standing tradition of the Jeep Wave. If you’re interested, here’s some insight from a serviceman on it’s origin… If not.. scroll down to the post, continued…

New Jeep owners soon discover a tradition that has been around perhaps as long as Jeeps, the Jeep wave. Some may think its strange or even silly, but before you judge perhaps take a moment and consider this.

During WWII the Jeep was always on the move, often running back and forth from the front lines delivering vital supplies or urgent messages, or carry wounded soldiers, attempt rescues or bring reinforcements. Some say this is where the Jeep wave began as a way to know friend from foe or acknowledge an officer without a salute that might alert enemies of a high ranking official. Or perhaps it was just a simple gesture from soldier in one Jeep to another Jeep as they passed. A sign of camaraderie and respect between courageous souls in dark and dangerous times.

Others say the Jeep wave began after the war when the soldiers returned home. During the war the Jeep had earned a place in the hearts of many soldiers and as a result, many of those who made it home, wanted to own their own Jeep. Often the drivers of Jeeps passing on roadways would wave at each other, as they knew most likely each other had served.

Finally some claim the wave began only when civilians started buying Jeeps and taking them off road. They shared fun and excitement of tackling seemingly impossible trails and obstacles in the nimble Jeep, naturally builds a kinship with other Jeepers. The wave acknowledges that shared understanding and appreciation of the Jeeps amazing capabilities and the enjoyment ownership can bring. So next time you see a Jeep, give a wave and if you don’t get one in return, don’t be offended. Just consider it a wave for the ‘One and Only Jeep’ and what it represents, our freedom and he brave souls who fought for it!

Being a Military Service Member myself, I think the wave started in WWII where many brave souls gave us our freedom we cherish to this day. For without what so many did for this country, we as fellow Jeepers would not be able to enjoy the freedoms of off road parks, trails, and just the simple freedom of driving down the road in the summer, top down and cruising.

So, particularly on Memorial Day Weekend, you see why the wave is increasingly important to uphold, right? Apparently.. the Mr… doesn’t wave. He’s one of those who thinks it’s silly, and if YOU are one of those, just hush.

My mistake was I let him drive. Every Wrangler we passed – and admittedly there are many – I could tell those who were going to wave as they approached. I can spot the snobs a mile away now, no kidding. I said, please wave.. don’t be a snob. He.. Did.. Not. I began waving FOR him as we rode down the waterline, the shoreline neighborhoods, The Boston Post Road. There are several waves, to be clear. Some hold up their hand, some stick them out the side window, a side wave. Some give the peace sign (me) and some lift there hand and wave the full out wave, side to side. He started holding my hands down, giggling!!… The nerve.

SO… He is no longer allowed to drive my Jeep, which while in my possession will represent the upholding of the time-honored tradition of the Jeep wave.

To all the service men, women and service animals who have given of themselves over the many years of our country’s history, Thank you for your bravery and courage. Thank you for the freedoms we have, Thank you for your service.

Reaching out, taking in…

So.. last weekend we had another adoption event – 64 dogs out of 69 found homes. That’s no easy feat, considering each adopter is screened thoroughly before they can take their dog home – by their vet references, and personal references, and approval from Landlord if there is one. Connecticut has some very generous folks, I’m proud to say. You know the reputation New Englanders have – cold, snobby, aloof? I don’t see it, I see generous people.

My favorite dog at last weekends adoption event was Ollie, an American bull dog mix. He would have come home with me if not for my 180 lb. horse, Ben. He has hit the jackpot with a wonderful home and sibling. It’s a beautiful thing. One of my favorite fb sightings are the after pics of shelter dogs in their new homes, finally the life they deserve. I’m so grateful to know the people who are cogs in the wheel that together make these things happen . Life lessons- think beyond just your own needs- Surround yourself with positive people, reach out to help whatever cause that holds meaning for you, it doesn’t have to be monetary, it can be actions, deeds- and your life becomes that much more rewarding.

This morning was another stunner… the mist coming in off Long Island Sound traveled a few miles upland and landed in our fields… the scent of sea air was intoxicating… another life lesson – (can you stand me this morning?..lol… )

Enjoy the little things.. notice them, take them in, don’t let them pass by you unappreciated. I had a conversation recently with a photographer friend. We were talking about picture quality and how so many people don’t really see the beauty that is all around them, and you can tell by the way they take a picture. It’s not even about the subject.. because there can be beauty in a simple, simple shot.. like this one below.. it’s just a hay field and misty blue sky, nothing dramatic, no clear subject. Look closely at all the nuances, there are many layers if you truly –see-.

Have a good day, All – and as always, thanks for stopping by.

Glutened

I’ve been wrestling with the same issue for years now. My will power, or more accurately the lack thereof… is pathetic. Having led a fairly healthy lifestyle for my entire life, i.e. no smoking and not much drinking, moderate exercise but perhaps not enough of it, you’d think it would be no big deal. Plenty of fruits and vegetables but also some of the crap, like chips and donuts and cakes and cookies and CHOCOLATE.

What I discovered a few years back, while dealing with chronic IBS type symptoms and bloat and headaches and muscle ache and anxiety and hypertension……… after doctor visits and naturopath visits and natural supplements and physical therapy and finally diet change…. was that the only thing that had a real effect.. was the diet change. I went gluten free and dairy free for the heck of it, cut out most sugar but not all, stopped eating processed foods for the most part… and within months MOST of my symptoms were gone or minimized greatly, plus.. I lost the extra 15 lbs I was lugging around. My blood pressure also dropped, a good thing, since I have hypertension.

Fast forward to today … I got lazy. I fell off the gluten free dairy free less-sugar diet. I do physical labor every day with the horses and farm work, etc. I still eat far less gluten, but I picked up the dairy again and occasionally snuck a little bit of a gluteny thing. I slacked some on the exercise and yoga. I gained back 20 LBS, not 15… and yesterday I picked up donuts from a new source that has THE BEST F_ING DONUTS YOU HAVE EVER DEVOURED…. and I caved and ate a few. *ahem. Then last night the guy and I went out.. and instead of ordering the salmon for dinner, I ordered a Reuben, because hell, already ruined it with the donuts, might as well go for the gold and get back to dieting tomorrow, right.

Well, tomorrow is today.. and I have such a gluten hangover from all that crap. I feel fatigued, anxious, like I’m coming down with the flu, my stomach hurts, my head is foggy, my muscles are sore. And yet some doctors still don’t believe that there is such thing as gluten sensitivity if you’re not a Celiac, which I am not.

What’s frustrating is that I KNOW what works, and yet PIZZA.

If you have struggled with any of the same issues, or conquered your bad eating choices and mastered better health, tell me how you did it, I really want to know.

Clowns to the left of me…

.. jokers to the right.. here I am.. stuck in the middle with you.

(you’re humming that tune, aren’t ya)

Kinda how I feel right now … what with the Hilary/Trump decision looming. And the kids-leaving-the-nest situation glooming.

Thank you all for your comments and commiseration and kind words and wisdom through experience. We moved my daughter and her boyfriend into their new condo and they are settling in to figure out whether they’re good together for the long haul. I happen to think that’s a very wise choice. M and I did nothing of the sort because it would have been frowned upon by his family and he did not want to rock the boat. So we jumped in with both feet, rocked our own boats dramatically and had a baby a year later. When you do that sort of thing, you had better hope it was a wise choice, because you could also find yourself looking at the other, saying “WHO the HELL are YOU?”. And you know.. by then it’s kinda difficult to extract yourself. SO… I cheer them on and wish them well and miss the clatter of their feet up and down the hallway stairs and the morning chatter and even the bickering when they ask your opinion but don’t really want it. (That’s one of my favorites).

K’s new kitchen..

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.. the manchild and his GF went on their first major shopping excursion last night, because they will need just about everything. I can’t really throw them a “living in sin” party, either… SO…. They decided they really want a new comfy sectional sofa, not the old couch we have in storage.. so they financed it. It’s his first major purchase besides his vehicle, but a good way to build credit. Now, this is the kid who would have to visit three sneaker stores before deciding on a pair… even when he was SEVEN YEARS OLD! I knew what they were in for. … So.. last night while they were out shopping, the text went like this…

Me: How are you making out?……

Him: Struggling.
Sneaker problems.

Long story short, a couch was purchased in espresso, not the off white they almost got.. because I think I brought home the point that eventually someone with new blue jeans was going to sit on that white couch and leave blue dye smudges all over it, and heaven forbid blue jean baby has a glass of red wine in hand and does an oops…. or perhaps the dog will get into the Valentines chocolate box sitting on the sofa table and smear it all over said white couch while you’re out to dinner with your significant other who PAID for it… the couch and the chocolates… (I wish I could tell you I’m not speaking from experience.)

I’m happy for them, and I’m getting used to the idea, and doing what I usually do when I need a distraction. Spend. New blue hydrangea bowl on the dining room table, because *s*t*r*e*s*s*

In the midst of the moving, we’re having some beautiful days… here are a few shots from the garden…

The pansy pot was found out in the woods, it’s a perfect pansy pot, don’t ya think? …. Just to give you an accurate picture of ME right now… picture fingers in my ears… singing La la la la la la la.. and just looking around not really focusing on any one thing… because THIS….

I’m looking at the woman in the mirror

I shouldn’t write this post today, because the emotions that stormed in on me this morning are still brand new and raw. And yet here I go… can’t help my inclination to dump out the emotion du jour, as immediately as possible.

See this chick? That’s me this morning… before the bomb dropped. I took the picture because my profile pic in a few places is so -last year-. I’m currently growing my hair long, just because holy shit, I’m 51 !!!… and how long can you get away with long hair, you know? Some women pull it off in older age rather well. My grandmother Elsie wore hers in an elegant bun and it looked blond and fabulous till the end. I hate buns, and ponytails and clips and barrettes and headbands and scrunchies… because I can’t stand the feel of them on my head. … so that’s not going to be an option lest I go insane trying to deal with the phobia.. or headache of those contraptions.

Oh, the serenity.. the contentment that all was right with the world after some stressful times …… even liked my hair!!!…… it was a fine moment this morning…. lasted almost half a day.

We’ve just learned we are going to be (GASP)……

EMPTY NESTERS.

I envy those of you who actually LOOK FORWARD to the day. Oh, the happy dance I’ve seen some of you do when the last chick flew the coop and you settled in with a glass of wine or scotch on the rocks out on the porch to enjoy the quiet, to come back to the YOU or the TWO OF YOU that you were all those years ago, before the kids came along. Some of you are wishing for the day to hurry up and arrive, bemoaning the hustle and hassle that is often family life. That’s never been me. NO.. I rued the day.

Truth, I love my guy. Second truth – I have always identified strongly as a mom with all the mom stuff that comes with the territory of raising kids and having them, you know.. AROUND a lot. I like a house full of family. No, I love it. And now we’re going to be just two again… the kids out on their own, hopefully happily moving forward into adulthood and all it’s responsibilities.. and the two of us will rediscover what it is to be the two of us. I have faith in my kids for sure, and they won’t be very far away… but still.. the .. Empty… Nest.

We resurrected This Old House six years ago with all of the family still in -growing up- mode. Now, the entire second floor will be … vacant. As much as I love this house and we put every fiber of our being into bringing it back to life.. I look around today and feel the weight of it’s size.

Weird, this. The woman I see in the mirror… someone different now. Reluctantly. Why does a song from Metallica keep playing in my mind…

Here I go…. turn the page…..

Rain and Relationships with a Garden Tour for good measure

Come take a walk with me as I mull over family issues and do morning chores here at the farm… I’ll show you how my garden grows, or doesn’t… too.

First stop is the hen house and rabbit hutch.

Harley (black bunny) had an episode of colic recently and because he looked like he was about to die in ten minutes, off to the vet we went. Did you know that too much of a commercial rabbit pellet diet is not good for them? I sure didn’t. Collard greens, celery, carrots sparingly, parsley, berries, and lots of Timothy Hay are what they should be eating. The pellets you see in pet stores are not meant to be their main diet. I’ve always given my bunnies lots of greens and such, but they always had a big bowl of the pellets as well. Hence, the colic. Harley is better now, and loves his collard greens.

The girls want OUT into the lush grass, but it’s only allowed when I’m out there paying attention to hawk whereabouts. Not happening on a rainy day like today. Their egg laying has been prolific latelely, have I mentioned how much I adore chickens?

Next stop is the barn, where horses have already been banging buckets because they’ve heard me down at the coop.

They don’t like being in, would prefer to be standing out in the rain, truth be told.. but when it’s still this chilly I keep them in until the rain clears. Admittedly, it’s more for me than them. Kinda like their blankets in winter.

The ancient pear tree that is half-hollow is full of blossoms again this year. I loath the day it keels over, but for now it still appears very happy up there on the hill. Thank you powers that be.

After barn chores now that spring has arrived, I head over to the garden to do whatever needs tending. The Arugula is coming up, but not much else. I’m concerned all the rain and cold air temps have thwarted the seed efforts. Time will tell.

Same thing happening in our little greenhouse… slow growing.

I planted six purple sweet potato plants… we’ll see how that goes, first attempt at potatoes. Any advice?

The ancient stand of lilacs are thriving.. Mike limed them last year and it helped.

Will anyone move in to this $7. bird house?

So far, nuthin.

My grandfather was a gardener.. and oh, what a spring tulip

garden he had across his front lawn.

I remember each spring he would take his scissors

outside with me and careful cut a bouquet for me

to bring to my teacher the next day.

When I look at my garden beds this time of year,

I am reminded of him and his love for his gardens..

and the birds, even the squirrels, who he fed peanuts

out of his hand while sitting on the back porch.

So, the rain in this post is obvious, but not the reference to relationships.

Rain IN relationships is inevitable, we’ve all figured that out by now, haven’t we. I have always been a worrier and as a mother that is tenfold in my being. I don’t like it, as the old saying goes… worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere. But it’s not something you can just set down like a heavy purse.. if you’re a worrier. No, it’s more like an extra skin that you can’t shed.

Being a mom, and particularly that mom... when my kids are hurting, I hurt. I always believed the teen years would be the most difficult, and they did have their challenges. I niavely assumed as they got older the worry would subside, the protective instincts. But ooh, nooo… the circumstances just change, not the concern. As they grow into adults they have their own relationships and they need to learn as they grow, just like we did, how to make them work, what doesn’t work… who is worth the effort, who isn’t. It’s painful to watch them struggle when things aren’t going well, but as my wise mother said, no one gets through life without struggle and pain and loss. It’s part of living. The hard part is leaving them be, letting them sort it all out without interferring, because you want to FIX IT for them. Raising children to be good, strong adults means letting them do for themselves, not just being there to FIX. As it should be… but Lord, it ain’t easy.

American Museum of Natural History

Last weekend mom and I and a few of the kids took a trip into NYC and the AMNH. As is usual on a sunny spring Sunday, the city was jammed. We drove in, because parking is pretty easy at the museum and also at the Marriott Marquis, and I like the idea of being in control – ha. The passengers in my vehicle may have had a different experience. I am a people watcher through and through – and there were thousands of interesting people to… watch. Driving and watching, unless we’re talking street signs and signals… don’t mix when every two seconds you need to make a decision.

Anyway! We’re still here to talk about it. What a feeling it is… to look at the same exhibits I first viewed 40 years ago – (did I just say that?) And of course there were new exhibits, as the museum rotates special ones out periodically.

As you enter the museum at it’s main entrance, a statue of Theodore Roosevelt on horseback greets you. Standing on either side of him are an American Indian and an African American, meant to symbolize the continents of Africa and America.

The buildings and the architecture in this part of the city… with Central park at it’s core.. is just beautiful.

The Dakota, a residence just down the road, also flanking Central park.. is just one example.. quite a history if you’re not familiar with it… also the place John Lennon lived and was shot in front of. If I had to live in the city, which I love but would never want to inhabit… this is where I’d like to be, although my finances beg to differ.

Inside the museum… We walked through the butterfly exhibit, which houses thousands of different species of butterfly…

And viewed the same stuffed animals I saw as a child myself… staring through their glassy eyes at the millions of visitors who pass before them for many years now. Funny thing… my son had a look on his face and shook his head slightly… I knew exactly what he was thinking, cut from the same cloth, you see. ” Dead animals”. “They were killed just to be stuffed and mounted here for decades. Whole Families!”… said he. Sad fact… the Black Rhino is among them… now.. extinct.

Museum Selfies…

The Dinosaurs are truly amazing and the museum has quite a collection, I’m guessing the largest available.

A new exhibit is the Titanosaurus…via the museum website… ” In January 2016, the Museum added another must-see exhibit to its world-famous fossil halls: a cast of a 122-foot-long dinosaur. This species is so new that it has not yet been formally named by the paleontologists who discovered it. Paleontologists suggest this dinosaur, a giant herbivore that belongs to a group known as titanosaurs, weighed in at around 70 tons. The species lived in the forests of today’s Patagonia about 100 to 95 million years ago, during the Late Cretaceous period, and is one of the largest dinosaurs ever discovered.

The remains were excavated in the Patagonian desert region of Argentina by a team from the Museo Paleontologico Egidio Feruglio led by José Luis Carballido and Diego Pol, who received his Ph.D. degree in a joint program between Columbia University and the American Museum of Natural History. One of the 8-foot femurs, or thigh bones, found at the site is among five original fossils on temporary view with The Titanosaur.

To stand next to this baby is hard to describe… see the size of the folks in the picture? Godzilla comes to mind.

The Hayden Planetarium is a sight to behold – no pictures allowed while viewing.. on the right is a self sustaining living sphere, whos eco system works in harmony so that no outside influence is needed.

Outside in the park, people, dogs, horses, cyclists, joggers, enjoyed the good weather with spring in the air. We illegally fed pigeons pieces of pretzel while two of my people strolled in the park – they are in the V of the tree, do you see them?

After our museum visit we drove to the Marriott Marquis in Times Square and mom treated us all to a delicious dinner at the revolving restaurant at the top – The View. The elevators go up 45 floors…traveling very fast, it was a scene out of Star Trek, I’m telling ya.

It takes about an hour for the room to revolve completely, so the view changes as you dine.

A good day was had by all.

In the Toilet

Target is getting huge flack for allowing Transgender people to use the bathroom they feel comfortable using. This is what I wrote on their FB page –

Congratulations for being a company with a conscience. I don’t know what it’s like to be born with a mixed gender identity, nor do I know what it’s like to be born with black or red or lily white skin , blue eyes, mental illness or a physical handicap or gay. What I know is none of these things is a choice, we are who we are. Treating those who are not made exactly like we are with hateful behavior is ugly, prejudice, small minded. I think a separate bathroom for ignorance might be a good idea though. Target, I like you even more now. Thank you for standing up tall and treating all with the same respect. As for worrying about your kids and grandkids in public bathrooms- you shouldn’t send your kids into a public bathroom alone – creeps come in all shapes and sizes. Just read some of the comments on this thread. – and there were many nasty comments on that thread.

I’m sure some of you disagree with me. I ask you this – and these are questions that would have to be answered if you continue to go down this thought path logically. Who is going to monitor the “gender” of people as they enter bathrooms? Who’s going to verify the integrity of the monitor and who’s responsible for paying them? I guess they need to be EVERYWHERE, right? There are thousands of documented cases of priests, teachers, coaches… who are PREDATORS. Hell, some of them chose their profession because of it’s access to vulnerable victims, often children. Where are the stats on Trans?… is it such a non-issue that there aren’t any? Therefore…bare with me and keep going down this path of thought… should there be separate bathrooms for adults and children? Should there be separate bathrooms for priests, teachers, coaches?….. Sounds ridiculous, right?…. kinda not do-able at all. So where are you drawing the line? Transgender people were born feeling they were something different than what their parts told them. That alone doesn’t make them dangerous. One thing is clear – Their life ain’t easy if they choose to be what they feel is their genuine self – because of how some people perceive them – as freaks. They may be different than you and I, but that doesn’t make them predators.. or freaks. It makes them different than you and I.

Bottom line in the public restroom procession is…….you’ve been peeing next to trans all your life, maybe you just didn’t know it. It’s not a new phenomenon. It’s becoming more prominent because they are tired of hiding in the shadows. I can’t understand what it is to be them, and neither can you. We can only try understanding, show compassion, humanity. Every being deserves that.