She was a talented seamstress to begin with. As her family grew, she became not only the thread, but also the fabric of our family and Italian heritage. She brought us all together.
When I was young and she was able, her house was the center of the Christmas Feast. Six courses, all prepared for days before the family’s arrival, soup to nuts and everything delicious inbetween. Sisters and brothers, cousins, uncles, aunts, all together under one roof, gestering wildly with flying hands, laughter… laughter… all because of her efforts. I couldn’t appreciate it then as I do now… .but I will never forget. I’m so glad I have told her that over and over again.
When I was young and she was able, her house was the center of the Christmas Feast. Six courses, all prepared for days before the family’s arrival, soup to nuts and everything delicious inbetween. Sisters and brothers, cousins, uncles, aunts, all together under one roof, gestering wildly with flying hands, laughter… laughter… all because of her efforts. I couldn’t appreciate it then as I do now… .but I will never forget. I’m so glad I have told her that over and over again.
For a while she was my other mother when my own returned to work. I spent many days playing with spools of thread and bins of buttons, watching her sew and cook. There were usually chocolate chip cookies in a tin on the pantry shelf, sometimes I’d steal a few before lunch. She’d play my cousins little 45’s for me when they were at school… my favorite? Sugar, Sugar.. by the Archies. We’d sometimes dance and twirl on the linoleum kitchen floor. She made my communion dress and knitted my first super cool poncho with fringe, do you remember those? She always used Ivory Soap at the sink. The men in our family all worked at Procter & Gamble, so Ivory was a staple. I still use it, still the great product it’s always been, …will always remind me of her.
Several times in recent weeks I have driven down to visit with her in the hospital while she struggled with failing health. When she learned she was terminal, she said.. “I’ve suffered enough” and signed the paperwork so that all would honor her wishes to let it be. Just days ago we sat around her bed, telling her how much we loved her, asking her questions about the family history, talking about the good times we all shared. She responded when she could find the strength. We had a pizza party in her room, even spilled some soda. We talked, we prayed, we cried, we gestered wildly with flying hands..laughter… laughter… and I told her… “you still know how to get the whole family in one room“.
My cousins and their wives were so compassionate and kind, the tenderness those two big guys showed their dying mother was heartwarming and heartbreaking. She must be so proud of the sons she raised. My Uncle, her soulmate and partner of over 50 years, is heartbroken. Their continuous bond over the years has been an inspiration, even their pissing contests, because ultimately they were still a symbol for all of us of unity ,love and most importantly, family.
I struggled with what to say… what DO you say when you know this is the last of your conversations with this beloved person, this beautiful soul who loved you unconditionally, has given you so much to cherish. What do you want to leave with that person as they begin the journey to where ever we go when we die…. what do you want to take away?….
Ultimately, the only words that really matter are… I love you.
Rest in Peace, Aunt Virginia.
You were truly one of Gods gifts to us all.
