A friend shared this on her FB and Instagram yesterday… and it struck a certain cord with me.
I strongly believe that the relationship a girl has with her father shapes an important part of what she believes of herself , too- and while my father wasn’t evil in any way, his narcissism didn’t make room for him to nurture others, so my sister and I did not have that important corner built into our foundation. I think what I love most about my husband is that he is such a caring, devoted father – with just enough tough and a whole lot of love for our children. I see how it helps them believe in themselves and I hope in my efforts as a mother I did the same.
It took me many years and a lot of living, some big mistakes, some therapy even, and some caring people, good role models in my life , like my mother, to get to this place I am now. I really really like who I am, who I have become. I’m no dope, I’m a decent mom, a good friend, I’m generous where I can be, and I put in more at work than I’m asked. Heck – even at the age of 53 with 25 extra pounds, wrinkles, age spots, grey hair, tired eyes – I like the person I see in the mirror. A lot. The old part of me that is still me thinks what I just typed sounds conceited – don’t I see the fat? the short legs? the small breasts? the imperfect skin? . The wiser me knows I’ve earned every piece of me and it’s all a beautiful gift. That’s true of you, too, and I say it’s time to believe.
So I read that statement up there at the top yesterday and I said .. Yes. Exactly. What am I waiting for? Why the hold up? I’ve been fighting with the same 25 lbs. for years now – When you’re 5’4, 25 lbs is a lot of extra weight to lug around. I’ve taken some off, then put it back on. Then took some more off, then put it back on. I tried the big diets, the little changes. They work and then I fail to follow them. Food is my stress reliever, I don’t drink much or smoke, etc. I do work out, but I don’t love it, I’m no gym rat. Hence – those 25 lbs. But I have a few health issues, High BP and fibromyalgia, that really demand I take better care of myself. I woke up this morning – read that statement up there one more time, and said this is it. Today is the day I figure this out and stick to the plan. Of course I’ve said that 1,000 times before. That doesn’t mean this time it won’t work. That’s defeatism and I’m not about defeat. My life and it’s quality depends on it. The fibromyalgia tells me daily to pay attention to what I’m putting in my mouth, to keep moving. I walk, muck stalls, garden, kayak, light weight train. That’ what I enjoy, so that’s what I’ll stick with.
The other pact I’m going to make with myself is to stop following the news daily – In my opinion, the asshat we currently have in office doesn’t deserve my peace of mind, I will not pay for his ignorance and those of his ilk. I do feel humankind will be the cause of it’s own demise, but I can’t change humankind. I can only do good in the place I reside right here, right now and hope it has some ripple effect. The pebbles tossed in the ocean, you know. I’m also putting the iphone down – not lugging it around everywhere I go – it’s an awful habit I’ve gotten into, almost like pavlov’s dog.
Enough. Are you with me? I kinda love me, do you love you? Feel free to share in the comments below the habits you choose to take care of you, and even what you love about yourself, I want to hear it. – There are plenty of excuses any of us can find and hold on to – If you’ve been stalling, like me… we aren’t a fail, we’re a new jump start. Ready? Let’s do it….. and for Heaven’s sake – smile. Every chance you get.
