Porch Sitting and Community gathering and OH, what a SUCKY MOVIE, but a few good books

  I wish for every person to have a place to call home where there is a porch to sit and contemplate, to rest, to find respite from the troubles of the world.  It need not be fancy – it need not be decorated with fine furnishings and fancy trinkets.  Heck, where I come from a folding chair out in the driveway or in the open-door garage would suffice as you watched the action out on the street or watered the postage stamp “lawn”.   (That always cracked me up – a neighbor just two doors down had a lawn about 20 x 20 with a sidewalk down the middle – and don’t ya know that lawn was perfectly edged and fertilized and watered, always. )    I’ve talked about porches before, forgive me for singing their praise here again.  I just feel right now especially.. we all need a porch sit. 
 This is my backyard view, can you see the hummer at the feeder? 
    Thank you to the few who braved comments in my previous posts.  I don’t ever swear that I will agree with you and I almost always have more to say.  But.. I am grateful for your comments when they are genuine and not with malice.  I think we accomplish that most often, even if we don’t walk away in agreement.  I wish that for the world too… and the porches. 
Saturday was the second farm market of my four market season.  The turnout was terrific and the vision of neighbors, children, strangers,  vendors and volunteers coming together, sharing good conversation, browsing the “stuff” and just enjoying something that is NOT the stuff of headlines.. well, it was so good for my soul.  If you’ve got these kind of community markets or town picnics, etc. in your area, don’t pass them up.  They are an affirmation of all that is GOOD out there, so be a part of it when you can. Join in, support your locals, talk to your neighbors, strangers, children, vendors, volunteers, etc. etc. etc.  

 Our sons went to school together and this guy is just always with a smile
on his face and a willingness to lend a hand.  We need more of that. 
   Mike and I watched  BY THE SEA last night –   Don’t waste your time on this movie.  Directed by and starrring Angelina and Brad Pitt,  it was terrible.  Briefest summary – nothing but glamour shots  of two shallow people dressed to the nines with very little substance underneath.  We kept watching because we thought  – surely there’s more to it than this…. but.. there wasn’t.  When they finally reveal something that is indeed a tragedy for some people, you don’t even care, these guys are so shallow.  And.. someone please throw her a cheeseburger, with bacon.. every day for the next six months.  I had high hopes, because although there didn’t seem to be much chemistry in their Mr. and Mrs. Smith roles, Angie did such a great job with her first to directorial movies, I thought this would be a hit too.  This one was so bad I don’t know what she was thinking other than an opportunity to wear what she perceives as fabulous cloths while she sulks around in beautiful malta.  Clearly she failed at directing herself.
    Are you a reader?  I am at a loss when I don’t have something to read on my bedside table. Hard to fall asleep without reading at least a little bit before lights out.  I just read Anderson Coopers new book, a correspondence between he and his mother (you may have seen the interview on TV)… and I have to tell you… I like him a lot, I like her very very little.. to be blunt, what a flake.  Just received both Nobodys Fool and Everyones Fool from Amazon, looking forward to diving into those as I’ve heard they are a good read.  I need to leave the TV off for a while, too disgusted with no answers …nothing ruins sleep better than the nightly news as of late… 
… Off.. to the porch. 

ALL LIVES MATTER

All lives matter! I sympathize with every single human who loses their life unjustly and lord knows there is injustice In this world daily. Sadly, racism ( of all kinds!) still exists and I doubt it will ever be eradicated fully due to our less than stellar human nature. Sad,embarrassing fact. I hope all of you who encourage the Black lives matter slogan are just as horrified this morning as five innocent cops lie dead and six critically wounded as you were yesterday for the two black men who were presumably unjustly killed. More so- why? Because you have no idea what your life would be like without the law should you need protection. We are damn lucky there are men and women willing to put their life on the line every single life- loving day for YOU and ME, regardless of color. If we keep encouraging separatism we are adding fuel to the fire. Are there some rogues? You betcha. In every walk of life. What we need to do is work on poverty and education issues, and people need to step up and help themselves and stop destructive behavior- whatever their color. ALL LIVES MATTER.

 


Viewer discretion advised

    I’m about to upchuck TR*MP nonsense, because it’s my party and I’ll do what I want to.   Bare with me and Bear with me, both apply. 

    This is where I ask any of you, if you are indeed a Tr*mp supporter… please, in the name of all things that are holy, sacred, sane, rational and within reason.   Tell me here, please.. tell me…. why you are willing to give that man the power of being the President. Of .The.United.States.of.America.    All I ask is that you don’t just say “I want something different.” or …you know, what we all feel… “f*ck the government”.  Because if you say that, and you vote for the wrongest candidate to ever hit the podiums just because  – f*ck the government –   and he actually wins… we’re all f*cked.  You included.


 And I gotta say this… from the very beginning when he came on the scene and I thought it was surely a joke (ha!)  …. I don’t believe he really wants the job!  Can you imagine The D*nald leaving the comfort and security of his ultra lavish home(s) to live in the paltry by comparison White House with all it’s high security and staff and demands and necessary regimens and you know, people that he’d actually have to answer to and work with and not just boss around? …. You think he actually wants to be so CONTAINED??…. Hell.. no.  No, I don’t think he ever really wanted the job.. but now with his cult following and that ginormous ego, he’s STUCK.  Unless he finds a save-face way out.  Like getting fed up with the GOP and going independent.  I wouldn’t put that past him, because I honestly don’t think he WANTS THE JOB.    

I was rude to a friends friend on Facebook yesterday.   My friend posted something..  and the gist of it was she doesn’t understand how any woman can vote for Trump… and this is what her friend upchucked, like a hairball, if you ask me.  There was more in her initial comment but this is the gist. 
She: I want something different. I’m going to take my chances on Trump. 

Here’s where I opened my big mouth:   Me: Somehow, XXXX, I bet you don’t approve of racist pompous woman demeaning egotistical bigotry either. His own Mother said he would be a terrible President. He was certainly a horrible husband at least twice. For some reason some people are turning a blind eye to some really important facts.

She: Speaking of horrible husbands Bill was no angel ; Hillary has a law degree and plenty of connections…why didn’t she send the bum packing…she didn’t need him . She wants to be president yet she didn’t show much backbone…unless she just didn’t care what he did or with whom.I have not been impressed with her performance over the past decade.I’m willing to take a chance on Trump. I’m so sick of political correctness. I referred to someone as being Oriental and someone jumped all over me and said that’s now considered racist…well crap on that …like I meant any harm to some ASIAN I didn’t even know! And please tell me if I should say Black or Afro-American? At least I can get what Trump is saying and I like him be-cause he is genuine but that’s just me. By the way,Karen XXX XXXXX, it’s been nice talking with you. Want to be friends?

Me:  XXXX,  I’m not a Hillary fan either but she has shown more backbone in her lifetime than Trump, who thinks only of his bottom line. I’m not just saying it, you need only look at the facts. Something Trump supporters just don’t want to do. You sure are taking a chance on Trump, and as far as -getting what Trump is saying-? A kindergarten student can get what he’s saying, there’s not much substance to it. F political correctness- how about just common courtesy, how about diplomacy, not belittling women, people of other ethnicity and those with disabilities? You think he’s genuine?? Please- other than chirping some of the dissent we all feel, show me where he has proved to be something other than a genuine self serving self adoring prick? That includes his personal and professional life. It hasn’t been nice talking to you, XXXX , because I’m horrified that there are so many following that train wreck like sheep because they – want something different- I do too- but that ain’t it. That’s like hoping for an alligator instead of a gecko and getting Godzilla. I hope that’s a reference you can understand. Pardon the political incorrectness of insulting your intelligence, but then again, it’s something Trxmp does regularly, so you’re good with that, right?


*silence


 I’m guessing XXXX no longer wants to be my friend.  But seriously, folks.  I want to hear from you if you’re a TrXmp supporter.  Give me an intelligent answer, one that shows thought and reason and logic and FACTS, the real ones.  Not mine, not yours… real proof that that man comes within two continents distance of being what we all hope for as Presidential material to lead this great nation.  I’m all ears if you’re all heart and without malice.  Ready?  Go …. 
  

*sigh

     This week has had some horrible headlines.

49 people killed by an insane  axxhole who’s wife knew he was planning a mass attack and yet let it happen. She even visited the site of his crime with him several times and “tried to talk him out of it”.  …. She should be arrested. She should be on a terror watch list.  Oh wait..   HE  was on a terror watch list and had been investigated at least two times… and yet he had a permit go carry and buy guns.   He was employed.. as a security guard.   This time the axx was a homophobe.  And actually, now it appears he may have been secretly gay… maybe he just couldn’t stand himself and his reality and so he lashed out at a people who would have embraced him if he could have embraced himself.   Really, people, we all need to get over ourselves and even our chosen religions.  Before religion there were just humans. Before segregation there were just humans.  Before travel became a thing and we weren’t stuck to just one region where everyone looked the same, we were just humans.   The world was a kinder place then, despite the lack of all the convenient technology that is supposed to make life so much easier.  We all need to be – just human- again…

     The anti-gun restrictions people are full of hysteria over – it’s not the guns that kill, it’s the people.   Don’t take my guns away, blah blah blah blah.   We own guns in this house, to be clear.  We would pass criteria checking on our mental health status and our criminal record or rather, the lack of one.  I don’t mind someone checking into that.  If you have guns, I want you to pass that checklist too.  Why is that such a hard pill for gun owners to swallow?  It may not stop the madmen from their act, but it would sure make it harder. Doing nothing is not the answer.  It’s not any answer at all.  When the politicians and the religious leaders say “Let us all pray for the families of the victims”…    well prayer is nice and good and maybe even comforting, but it sure as hell isn’t enough.  It’s becoming a joke, that statement, used by those who have the power to do more about it, but don’t.

                                     **************************************

     Last night a family was enjoying Movie Night on the beach at the Grand Fl*ridian Disney resort. Their 2 year old boy just yards away from them, was splashing around in less than a foot of water at the lagoons edge.  A sandy beach lagoons edge. You’ve probably read it already – he was taken by an alligator right in front of his parents.  They’re still looking for his body.  What a horrible, horrible thing.  Already, insensitive people are chirping about the ignorance of the family who lost their boy in one of the most horrific ways you could imagine..right in front of them as they tried to pull him from the jaws of the alligator.  Disney has “no swimming” signs posted along the beach, but they truck in loads of sugar white sand to encourage people to gather there.  No signs say “WARNING: ALLIGATORS”.   You can bet the ranch if any of us saw a sign that says that, we wouldn’t be chilling on that sugar white sand beach making sandcastles, right?

M and I, years ago along the shores of that same lagoon…. Look like alligator territory to you? Back then there were no “no swimming” signs either.

 

 I feel so badly for the families in Orlando today – all of them.

Chicks.. on several levels.

   Some girls grab a book and head to the beach to relax.  Me?  You can find me at the coop with another kind of Chicks and Buns….  This life I live ain’t always easy – it looks beautiful, but it’s also hard work and my aching neck tells that story well.  There are some real perks, though.  This is one of them.

 My mom is a breast cancer survivor, as are several of my friends, Pam Fox is one of them.  Pam is an amazing person – a true champion for the Underdog – canines and humans alike.

   She’s walking the Avon walk in NYC to help raise funds – Won’t you please consider a donation in any amount, even $5. gets them that much closer to a cure.  Link for donation below..

http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk/NewYork?px=8114340&pg=personal&fr_id=2486

Banned

 So the Mr. and I decided to take an evening ride down the shoreline on Saturday night, because it was such a glorious (summer!) evening.  We went semi topless, as that’s a heck of a lot easier than taking the entire top off the Jeep.   The evening was enjoyable, relaxing, a welcome reprieve… until…

Here’s where it got ugly.

  I take pride in being one of those Jeep Wrangler owners who participate in the long standing tradition of the Jeep Wave.  If you’re interested, here’s some insight from a serviceman on it’s origin…  If not.. scroll down to the post, continued…

New Jeep owners soon discover a tradition that has been around perhaps as long as Jeeps, the Jeep wave. Some may think its strange or even silly, but before you judge perhaps take a moment and consider this.

During WWII the Jeep was always on the move, often running back and forth from the front lines delivering vital supplies or urgent messages, or carry wounded soldiers, attempt rescues or bring reinforcements. Some say this is where the Jeep wave began as a way to know friend from foe or acknowledge an officer without a salute that might alert enemies of a high ranking official. Or perhaps it was just a simple gesture from soldier in one Jeep to another Jeep as they passed. A sign of camaraderie and respect between courageous souls in dark and dangerous times.

Others say the Jeep wave began after the war when the soldiers returned home. During the war the Jeep had earned a place in the hearts of many soldiers and as a result, many of those who made it home, wanted to own their own Jeep. Often the drivers of Jeeps passing on roadways would wave at each other, as they knew most likely each other had served. 

Finally some claim the wave began only when civilians started buying Jeeps and taking them off road. They shared fun and excitement of tackling seemingly impossible trails and obstacles in the nimble Jeep, naturally builds a kinship with other Jeepers. The wave acknowledges that shared understanding and appreciation of the Jeeps amazing capabilities and the enjoyment ownership can bring. So next time you see a Jeep, give a wave and if you don’t get one in return, don’t be offended. Just consider it a wave for the ‘One and Only Jeep’ and what it represents, our freedom and he brave souls who fought for it!

Being a Military Service Member myself, I think the wave started in WWII where many brave souls gave us our freedom we cherish to this day. For without what so many did for this country, we as fellow Jeepers would not be able to enjoy the freedoms of off road parks, trails, and just the simple freedom of driving down the road in the summer, top down and cruising. 




   So, particularly on Memorial Day Weekend, you see why the wave is increasingly important to uphold, right?   Apparently.. the Mr… doesn’t wave.  He’s one of those who thinks it’s silly, and if YOU are one of those, just hush.

   My mistake was  I let him drive.  Every Wrangler we passed – and admittedly there are many –  I could tell those who were going to wave as they approached. I can spot the snobs a mile away now, no kidding.  I said, please wave.. don’t be a snob.  He.. Did.. Not.    I began waving FOR him as we rode down the waterline,  the shoreline neighborhoods, The Boston Post Road.  There are several waves, to be clear. Some hold up their hand, some stick them out the side window, a side wave. Some give the peace sign (me) and some lift there hand and wave the full out wave, side to side.   He started holding my hands down, giggling!!…  The nerve.


SO…  He is no longer allowed to drive my Jeep, which while in my possession will represent the upholding of the time-honored tradition of the Jeep wave.


    To all the service men, women and service animals who have given of themselves over the many years of our country’s history, Thank you for your bravery and courage.  Thank you for the freedoms we have, Thank you for your service.  










  

Reaching out, taking in…

    So.. last weekend we had another adoption event –  64 dogs out of 69 found homes.  That’s no easy feat, considering each adopter is screened thoroughly before they can take their dog home – by their vet references, and personal references, and approval from Landlord if there is one.  Connecticut has some very generous folks, I’m proud to say. You know the reputation New Englanders have –  cold, snobby, aloof?  I don’t see it, I see generous people.  


   My favorite dog at last weekends adoption event was Ollie, an American bull dog mix. He would have come home with me if not for my 180 lb. horse, Ben. He has hit the jackpot with a wonderful home and sibling. It’s a beautiful thing. One of my favorite fb sightings are the after pics of shelter dogs in their new homes, finally the life they deserve. I’m so grateful to know the people who are cogs in the wheel that together make these things happen . Life lessons- think beyond just your own needs- Surround yourself with positive people, reach out to help whatever cause that holds meaning for you, it doesn’t have to be monetary, it can be actions, deeds- and your life becomes that much more rewarding.




      This morning was another stunner… the mist coming in off Long Island Sound traveled a few miles upland and landed in our fields… the scent of sea air was intoxicating…  another life lesson – (can you stand me this morning?..lol… )

    Enjoy the little things.. notice them, take them in, don’t let them pass by you unappreciated.   I had a conversation recently with a photographer friend. We were talking about picture quality and how so many people don’t really see the beauty that is all around them, and you can tell by the way they take a picture.  It’s not even about the subject.. because there can be beauty in a simple, simple shot.. like this one below.. it’s just a hay field and misty blue sky, nothing dramatic, no clear subject.  Look closely at all the nuances, there are many layers if you truly –see-.

  Have a good day, All –  and as always, thanks for stopping by.

Glutened

    I’ve been wrestling with the same issue for years now.  My will power, or more accurately the lack thereof… is pathetic.  Having led a fairly healthy lifestyle for my entire life, i.e. no smoking and not much drinking, moderate exercise but perhaps not enough of it, you’d think it would be no big deal.  Plenty of fruits and vegetables but also some of the crap, like chips and donuts and cakes and cookies and CHOCOLATE. 

     What I discovered a few years back, while dealing with chronic IBS type symptoms and bloat and  headaches and muscle ache and anxiety and hypertension……… after doctor visits and naturopath visits and natural supplements and  physical therapy and finally diet change…. was that the only thing that had a real effect.. was the diet change.   I went gluten free and dairy free for the heck of it, cut out most sugar but not all, stopped eating processed foods for the most part… and within months MOST of my symptoms were gone or minimized greatly, plus.. I lost the extra 15 lbs I was lugging around.  My blood pressure also dropped, a good thing, since I have hypertension.

     Fast forward to today … I got lazy. I fell off the gluten free dairy free less-sugar  diet. I do physical labor every day with the horses and farm work, etc.  I still eat far less gluten, but I picked up the dairy again and occasionally snuck a little bit of a gluteny thing. I slacked some on the exercise and yoga.    I gained back 20 LBS,  not 15… and yesterday I picked up donuts from a new source that has THE BEST F_ING DONUTS YOU HAVE EVER DEVOURED…. and I caved and ate a few. *ahem.   Then last night the guy and I went out.. and instead of ordering the salmon for dinner, I ordered a Reuben, because hell, already ruined it with the donuts, might as well go for the gold and get back to dieting tomorrow, right.

     Well, tomorrow is today.. and I have such a gluten hangover from all that crap.  I feel fatigued, anxious, like I’m coming down with the flu, my stomach hurts, my head is foggy, my muscles are sore.   And yet some doctors still don’t believe that there is such thing as gluten sensitivity if you’re not a Celiac, which I am not.  

What’s frustrating is that I KNOW what works, and yet PIZZA.

   If you have struggled with any of the same issues, or conquered your bad eating choices and mastered better health, tell me how you did it, I really want to know.

Clowns to the left of me…

.. jokers to the right.. here I am.. stuck in the middle with you.

(you’re humming that tune, aren’t ya)

 Kinda how I feel right now … what with the Hilary/Trump decision looming.  And the kids-leaving-the-nest situation glooming.

 Thank you all for your comments and commiseration and  kind words and wisdom through experience.  We moved my daughter and her boyfriend into their new condo and they are settling in to figure out whether they’re good together for the long haul.  I happen to think that’s a very wise choice.  M and I did nothing of the sort because it would have been frowned upon by his family and he did not want to rock the boat.  So we jumped in with both feet, rocked our own boats dramatically and had a baby a year later.  When you do that sort of thing, you had better hope it was a wise choice, because you could also find yourself looking at the other, saying “WHO the HELL are YOU?”.   And you know.. by then it’s kinda difficult to extract yourself.   SO… I cheer them on and wish them well and miss the clatter of their feet up and down the hallway stairs and the morning chatter and even the bickering when they ask your opinion but don’t really want it.  (That’s one of my favorites).

K’s new kitchen..

     Meanwhile, back at the ranch.. the manchild and his GF went on their first major shopping excursion last night, because they will need just about everything.   I can’t really throw them a “living in sin” party, either… SO….  They decided they really want a new comfy sectional sofa, not the old couch we have in storage.. so they financed it.  It’s his first major purchase besides his vehicle, but a good way to build credit.   Now, this is the kid who would have to visit three sneaker stores before deciding on a pair… even when he was SEVEN YEARS OLD!  I knew what they were in for. … So.. last night while they were out shopping, the text went like this…

Me:  How are you making out?……

Him:  Struggling.
          Sneaker problems.

     Long story short, a couch was purchased in espresso, not the off white they almost got.. because I think I brought home the point that eventually someone with new blue jeans was going to sit on that white couch and leave blue dye smudges all over it, and heaven forbid blue jean baby has a glass of red wine in hand and does an oops…. or perhaps the dog will get into the Valentines chocolate box sitting on the sofa table and smear it all over said white couch while you’re out to dinner with your significant other who PAID for it… the couch and the chocolates…   (I wish I could tell you I’m not speaking from experience.)

  I’m happy for them, and I’m getting used to the idea, and doing what I usually do when I need a distraction.  Spend.   New blue hydrangea bowl on the dining room table, because *s*t*r*e*s*s*

     In the midst of the moving, we’re having some beautiful days… here are a few shots from the garden…

  The pansy pot was found out in the woods, it’s a perfect pansy pot, don’t ya think? ….   Just to give you an accurate picture of ME right now… picture fingers in my ears… singing La la la la la la la.. and just looking around not really focusing on any one thing… because THIS….

I’m looking at the woman in the mirror

 
   I shouldn’t write this post today, because the emotions that stormed in on me this morning are still brand new and raw.   And yet here I go… can’t help my inclination to dump out the emotion du jour, as immediately as possible.

 See this chick?    That’s me this morning… before the bomb dropped.   I took the picture because my profile pic in a few places is so -last year-.    I’m currently growing my hair long, just because holy shit, I’m 51 !!!…  and how long can you get away with long hair, you know?  Some women pull it off in older age rather well. My grandmother  Elsie wore hers in an elegant bun and it looked blond and fabulous till the end.  I hate buns, and ponytails and clips and barrettes and headbands and scrunchies… because I can’t stand the feel of them on my head. … so that’s not going to be an option lest I go insane trying to deal with the phobia.. or headache of those contraptions.

Oh, the serenity.. the contentment that all was right with the world after some stressful times …… even liked my hair!!!……  it was a fine moment this morning….  lasted almost  half a day.

 We’ve just learned we are going to be  (GASP)……

EMPTY NESTERS.

  I envy those of you who actually LOOK FORWARD to the day.  Oh, the happy dance I’ve seen some of you do when the last chick flew the coop and you settled in with a glass of wine or scotch on the rocks  out on the porch to enjoy the quiet, to come back to the YOU or the TWO OF YOU that you were all those years ago, before the kids came along.    Some of you are wishing for the day to hurry up and arrive, bemoaning the hustle and hassle that is often family life.  That’s never been me.  NO.. I rued the day.

  Truth, I  love my guy.  Second truth –  I have always identified strongly as a mom with all the mom stuff that comes with the territory of raising kids and having them, you know.. AROUND a lot.    I like a house full of family. No, I love it.   And now we’re going to be just two again… the kids out on their own, hopefully happily moving forward into adulthood and all it’s responsibilities.. and the two of us will rediscover what it is to be the two of us.  I have faith in my kids for sure, and they won’t be very far away… but still.. the .. Empty… Nest.

   We resurrected This Old House six years ago with all of the family still in -growing up- mode.  Now, the entire second floor will be … vacant.   As much as I love this house and we put every fiber of our being into bringing it back to life.. I look around today and feel the weight of it’s size.

 Weird, this. The woman I see in the mirror… someone different now.  Reluctantly.  Why does a song from Metallica keep playing in my mind…

Here I go…. turn the page…..