Tag: Fibromyalgia

Something Delicious this way comes…

     The Mr. and I have been minding our food intake – and typical of men!!… he lost 13 pounds in the first two weeks on Nutrisystem and I’ve lost 2.   I aim for healthy foods, plenty of greens, smaller portions, much less dairy,  much less sugar, grains, no red meat.   He has more to lose than I do, but still… I’d be more than half way to my goal if I lost 13 pounds by now!  I don’t like Nutrisystem though, even though it works – if you ask me – that’s crap food although it’s tasty,  and if you like eating healthy fresh not frozen and packaged processed stuff, it’s not sustainable for the long haul.  That’s probably why he lost 40 lbs on it last year, and gained it all back when he went off the program.  I think what it does teach is portion control.  So you can succeed on the system once you get off their food program, as long as you keep to the portions, etc.  That’s the trick.

      I’ve always been active due to the horses and farm chores and I like to walk/hike/kayak, etc.  I’ve also got a full weights system out in the garage/gym thanks to the men of this family and I’ve used it frequently for light weight training.  It definitely helps with the fibromyalgia pain to KEEP MOVING.  When I was diagnosed a few years ago after living with chronic all over muscle pain for years without answers, I was given the option to take various meds.  Ask me how much I hate to take pills – and so I opted to try natural ways of coping with this pain-in-the neck condition.  I’m here to tell you – If you suffer with chronic pain from any source – good diet and exercise definitely help.  Choose with your doctor what’s right for you depending on your condition, but no matter what, keep moving. 
     I had my yearly physical yesterday and all is good – blood pressure, sugar, cholesterol, etc.  Low on Vitamin D, which is important, so I’ll take in more dairy and broccoli, etc.. and add a supplement back in.  I’m going to continue with the weight loss goals, hopefully by summer I’ll be 15 pounds lighter.  Or at least 10.  
     That being said!!… there was a recipe in last week’s paper that looked delicious and easy and made with fresh ingredients and I just had to try it regardless of our weight loss goals.  WOW – it’s super good, and super easy. We had it for dinner last night and I’ll share it here with you…  I don’t even like pepperoni, but it was not overpowering in this dish – If you like a good vodka sauce that tastes really  fresh and light? This one’s for you..
Pepperoni Pasta
  • 2-3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 medium sweet onion, diced
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 28 ounce can diced tomatoes
  • 1 jigger vodka  (optional but really adds to the flavor) 
  • 1/2 pound thinly sliced pepperoni
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper  (if you like it spicy, add more, but be careful) 
  • 1/4 cup heavy cream ( I added a little more for creamier texture) 
  • 2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil
  • Fresh grated Parmesan Romano mix cheese
  • 1 pound pasta- the grooved kind hold the flavor of the sauce better, but any pasta will do
* next time I will use less pasta so that there is more sauce, but truthfully it was so flavorful it wasn’t a problem for taste. 
 Fill a large pot with water and cook your pasta of choice – al dente when done. 
While that cooks, in a dutch oven or large skillet, warm oil and add onion and garlic. Cook over medium-low heat until translucent (try not to brown it). Add the entire can of diced tomatoes. When hot, add vodka and cook for about four minutes, at which point most of the liquor will have evaporated.  Toss in pepperoni and stir, cook for another few minutes.  Add salt and pepper to taste and add cayenne pepper. Just a little gives a punch, so don’t overdo it unless you love spicy hot.  After a few more minutes, add the cream.  It should be a pretty coral color.  When pasta is al dente – drain and put it in the sauce in a bowl or the dutch oven, whatever works for you. Toss to coat – then add the grated cheeses and the fresh chopped basil, toss again – and  Enjoy! 
You will not be disappointed with the flavor. 

   
 

I want to be your friend…

   A friend shared this on her FB and Instagram yesterday… and it struck a certain cord with me.

   When I was a young person I never though of myself as attractive. I was a brunette olive skinned  green eyed athletic kind friendly generous warm 120 lb. person, but I thought I was ugly.    There are very few photos of me smiling because I thought I had an unattractive smile… so I didn’t.  I was not the popular  blonde blue eyed girl dressed in designer clothes and pumps in HS, and we’re programmed by peers and society that those things are important, so I believed.  I tried not to stand out.. .just let me blend in, and that’s what I did.  I had trouble focusing on any subjects in HS and college that I wasn’t interested in and I was busy being “busy” with the things that did intrigue me- like horses, animals, time spent with the boyfriend and g-friends, and a few subjects like English, writing, music (band) that I enjoyed.   So I didn’t think I was particularly smart either.  My experiences since have shown me my truths, but that was then, this is now.  How we talk to ourselves, never mind how others talk to us… our self talk is so very important.  Keeping it positive is key to our well being and we are the only ones in control of that conversation.

   I strongly believe that the relationship a girl has with her father shapes an important part of what she believes of herself , too- and while my father wasn’t evil in any way, his narcissism didn’t make room for him to nurture others, so my sister and I did not have that important corner built into our foundation.   I think what I love most about my husband is that he is such a caring, devoted father – with just enough tough and a whole lot of love for our children.  I see how it helps them believe in themselves and I hope in my efforts as a mother I did the same.

    It took me many years and a lot of living, some big mistakes, some therapy even, and  some caring people, good role models in my life , like my mother,  to get to this place I am now.  I really really like who I am, who I have become. I’m no dope, I’m a decent mom, a good friend,  I’m generous where I can be, and I put in more at work than I’m asked. Heck – even at the age of 53 with 25 extra pounds, wrinkles, age spots, grey hair, tired eyes –  I like the person I see in the mirror. A lot.   The old part of me that is still me thinks what I just typed sounds conceited – don’t I see the fat? the short legs? the small breasts? the imperfect skin? .  The wiser me knows I’ve earned every piece of me and it’s all a beautiful gift.  That’s true of you, too, and I say it’s time to believe.

   So I read that statement up there at the top yesterday and I said .. Yes.  Exactly.  What am I waiting for? Why the hold up?    I’ve been fighting with the same 25 lbs. for years now –    When you’re 5’4, 25 lbs is a lot of extra weight to lug around.  I’ve taken some off, then put it back on. Then took some more off, then put it back on.  I tried the big diets, the little changes. They work and then I fail to follow them.   Food is my stress reliever, I don’t drink much or smoke, etc.  I do work out, but I don’t love it, I’m no gym rat.  Hence – those 25 lbs.   But I have a few health issues, High BP and fibromyalgia, that really demand I take better care of myself.   I woke up this morning – read that statement up there one more time, and said this is it.  Today is the day I figure this out and stick to the plan.  Of course I’ve said that 1,000 times before.  That doesn’t mean this time it won’t work. That’s defeatism and I’m not about defeat.   My life and it’s quality depends on it.  The fibromyalgia tells me daily to pay attention to what I’m putting in my mouth, to keep moving. I walk, muck stalls, garden, kayak, light weight train. That’ what I enjoy, so that’s what I’ll stick with.

   The other pact I’m going to make with myself is to stop following the news daily –  In my opinion, the asshat we currently have in office doesn’t deserve my peace of mind, I will not pay for his ignorance and those of his ilk.  I do feel humankind will be the cause of it’s own demise, but I can’t change humankind. I can only do good in the place I reside right here, right now and hope it has some ripple effect.   The pebbles tossed in the ocean, you know.   I’m also putting the iphone down – not lugging it around everywhere I go – it’s an awful habit I’ve gotten into, almost like pavlov’s dog.

Enough.   Are you with me?  I kinda love me, do you love you?  Feel free to share in the comments below the habits you choose to take care of you, and even what you love about yourself, I want to hear it.  –  There are plenty of excuses any of us can find and hold on to –  If you’ve been stalling, like me… we aren’t a fail, we’re a new jump start.   Ready?   Let’s do it….. and for Heaven’s sake – smile. Every chance you get.

  

Rambling Rose

 Because sometimes a post title just doesn’t come to ya. 
  Happy 22nd Birthday to my boy, who I adore more than it seems possible.  We’re so proud of the kind, responsible, hard working young man he’s become.  I’m one of those ridiculous moms who’s children are literally my everything. My children are truly my greatest accomplishment in life.  Is it ridiculous?  I don’t know, I bet most of you moms feel the same way most of the time.  ( we all have those “other” moments)   My life is busy with my editing work, farm chores, volunteer activities, my hobbies and family life – but “family life” is on the top of my importance list, always. 💗
  
   

     Since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia last year, I’ve been struggling with the diagnosis, which is a tricky thing because after all the tests and all is said and done, they can’t tell you why you’re experiencing so much pain and inflammation everywhere – it just is.  What??…. that’s frustrating. 
    If you suffer the same affliction, I can tell you this.  Diet helps.  Cut out the crap, literally.  Sugar and Gluten are not your friend if you suffer from fibro. Too much dairy consumption also isn’t great.  I’ve cut down big time on all three things (didn’t totally eliminate) and it has helped.  Also… exercise. That’s a big one.  It’s real hard to make yourself work out, go for long walks, run on a treadmill, insert whatever form of exercise you prefer… when your body is telling you OW THAT HURTS..with every move you make.  But.. it’s important to do so if you want to keep moving, and even feel better. 
    A wonderful physical therapist I was sent to this fall has taught me some very valuable tools. He said…. “Those who improve from this condition do the hard work – they keep moving, keep exercising, and work on their diet continuously.  Those who give in to the pain and don’t do the hard work,  don’t improve, they get worse.  Also, when you’re exercising, tell yourself that nothing is actually broken, even though your body is sending you pain signals.  Work through the pain, and it will gradually decrease.”   He was so right.  I have now been in a steady work out routine here at home for a few months and I am feeling better.  Not awesome, not perfect, not pain free – but better. Amen.   
     
     What I currently do is watch my diet (but I do slip up here and there – not much willpower, I love food!), I’m using the WW app to track my food intake, and I’m light weight training in the gym at least five days a week, have even increased the weight, three sets of 12 reps of a variety of lifts I was taught by a good friend (Joey), and I either take the dogs on a long hike or  sprint/jog/walk on the treadmill on crappy weather days (MANY LATELY!!). 
   What can I say about the current state of political affairs here in our country… Holy cow, what an absolutely bizarre point in our American History we have reached, on so many fronts.  
      For those who still embrace the 45 Cult,  man, I give you credit for standing by your  man. Sorta like Melania… can you imagine what their cosy evenings at home must look like now? And I’m not making fun of her, she didn’t ask for the three ring circus she now lives in.  Truly feels like he’s just throwing all the sh*t against the wall and hey, let’s see what’ll stick.    
     The thing about 45 is, I don’t totally disagree with some of the things on his “list to fix”.  He just can’t get past his giant ego and his sordid past to lead this country in any sort of respectable, commendable, responsible, honest way. Sad thing.  He is truly his own worst enemy.   That he knowingly had that past history, and didn’t figure out that it would ALL come home to roost for him if he won the presidency, is remarkable.  People in Cult 45 still clamor for 2020, but I bet 45 wants nothing to do with it, now that he sees what this position he holds has done to his and more importantly, his family’s formerly fabulous  unfettered life.  He and they are now in the fishbowl and who knows what price they have yet to pay.  What he did to Obama and others is now being done to him, tenfold. And he keeps asking for more.   Strange times. 
  33 degrees here in Connecticut today – I donned hat and gloves yet again, mid April! to do barn chores this morning.  Our friends in Canada and Vermont still have snow!  We planted seeds, which are now in their containers in the greenhouse – growing, growing, with nowhere to go until we see REAL spring temps.  The forsythia is trying to bloom.. weeks late… but the attempt is half-hearted. 
 Come on, Spring.. the world NEEDS you! 
 Till soon, friends… 
    
   

Heavy and Light

 



    For lemon lovers, here’s a cupcake frosting recipe I found on Pinterest,  the recipe and photo originated at rosebakes.com. 

Lemon Cream Cheese Frosting

INGREDIENTS
  • 2 sticks of real (salted) butter, at room temperature
  • 4 ounces of shortening
  • 4 ounces of cream cheese, at room temperature
  • 1/2 Tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 8-9 cups of powdered sugar
  • 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
  • 2-3 Tablespoons milk

INSTRUCTIONS

  1. In a large mixing bowl, cream together the butter, shortening, and cream cheese until very smooth. Add in the vanilla and mix again.
  2. Begin adding powdered sugar, one cup at a time up to 8 cups.
  3. Your frosting will be very stiff at this point – now add in the lemon juice and 2 tablespoons of milk.
  4. Mix and check the consistency.
  5. From here, I had to add a little more powdered sugar (it was too soft) but then I went too far, so I added a little more milk. Just play with it until you get a consistency you’re happy with! I made mine on the softer side so it was silky smooth …
    And since we started with a sugary treat,  let’s balance it with something healthy.  Oh the struggle is real, a balance I don’t always get right.  This recipe and photo courtesy Wellplated.com
Tomato Eggplant Zucchini Bake with Garlic and Parmesan. 
Produce
  • 1/4 cup Basil, fresh
  • 1 pint Cherry or grape tomatoes
  • 1 Eggplant, small medium
  • 4 large cloves Garlic
  • 1/4 cup Parsley, fresh
  • 3 Zucchini (about 1 1/2 pounds), medium
Spices
  • 1/4 tsp Black pepper, ground
  • 1/4 tsp Kosher salt
  • 1 tbsp Olive oil, extra-virgin
2/3 cup Parmesan cheese

Directions:



  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease a deep 9×9-inch baking dish or similar 3 1/2-quart casserole dish with nonstick spray.
  2. Quarter the zucchini then cut into 1/2-inch slices and place in a large mixing bowl (each piece of zucchini should be roughly 1/2 to 3/4 inches in size). Next, slice the eggplant into 1/4-inch rounds, then stack the rounds and cut into roughly 3/4-inch pieces. Add to the bowl with the zucchini. Halve the cherry tomatoes and add them to the bowl. Drizzle the cut vegetables with the olive oil, then add the garlic, salt, pepper, 1/3 cup of the Parmesan cheese, and half of the basil and parsley. Toss gently to combine.
  3. Transfer the vegetables to the prepared baking dish. Bake for 25 minutes, cover the pan with aluminum foil, then continue baking for 10 to 20 additional minutes, until the vegetables are tender. Sprinkle with the remaining Parmesan cheese, basil, and parsley. Serve warm.



  As for this government shut down –  45 once said it is the President’s fault when the government shuts down – He also said it would never happen on his watch because he is the great deal maker.  There is actually a documentary about his first year in office – consisting of his 2000 lies told in this first year.  He’s since added at least 50.  That this  is OK with ANYONE, for any reason and on any level.. is flabbergasting. 
   Women are marching again this weekend – I’m not attending but I’ve donated to the cause once again  and bought the tee shirt  too,  because I think it’s so important to call this blossoming bullshit what it is.  None of it’s new.. but it’s found a stronger foothold thanks to 45, hard to imagine in these “enlightened” times.  We’ve gone backward as a society, not forward, and at an alarming speed. 
   I’m convinced it will be women who save humanity eventually.  Men have been in charge till now and look how they’ve managed to  f*ck it all up.   *** TO BE CLEAR – there are many, many decent men out there. Many.  Just not the ones who currently wield all the power… and if you look at our world history – it’s man’s ego and greed that dragged us through the ugliest times.  I think it’s women who will eventually make this world a more humane place in every aspect.  Not as superiors to men, but as equals. We have certainly earned our place. 
                    
  On the fitness front – I’ve stopped beating myself up over failed attempts to achieve my best body weight.  Life hands you enough insults, no?  I’m tired of adding to the heap,  so I’ve been working on my interior voice – the one that shouts when I look in the mirror “You’re still fat!  WTF! Stop the nonsense!  Girl, where’s your will power?”…  have you heard that interior voice too?  She sucks.. she’s sapping the joy right out of everything and it truly doesn’t help the cause. 
  So this is what I’m working on…the new dialogue from the inside –   OK – today’s a new day – so far you’ve managed a good intake of water and you’ve been out for that hike with the dogs.  Most of your food choices were healthy. You need to work on the portion sizes, and you know you didn’t need the cupcake, but it’s done.  Let’s do better tomorrow, but you got some good stuff in there today.  Onward. 
So much better, right? 
   I’m walking every day that it’s not absolutely frigid – a few miles anyway, up and down hills and some nice straightaways.  I’m drinking more water – these two things are so important for all of us, mild exercise regularly and hydration.  I have found that filling up a favorite large mug of water and leaving it out on the counter at room temperature has been a successful habit to form. I’m drinking more water and I’m not using all that plastic from refrigerated bottles.  Room temperature water is easier to drink, too. 
   I take Vitamin B12, D3 and Biotin daily.  I’m finding sticking to the combination of all these things is helping the Fibromyalgia and I am feeling better and stronger over all.  As we get older, any significant slacking off comes home to roost quickly. It’s important to keep moving, keep striving to gain or keep better health.  Doesn’t have to be an obsession, just a gentle daily process with  a little wiggle room and forgiveness when you don’t get it perfect.  
*That word shouldn’t exist, truth be told. Nothing.. is perfect, ever.  
   What steps do you take for your well being, emotionally and physically?   Feel free to share them in the comments below – and I’ll leave you with a little gem a friend shared on her page.. 
   
Till soon, friends – 
      

The K-List – Fall edition

     When I was much younger I believed I should have been born down South because the thought of -always Summer- was magical to me.  As I have matured I have come to truly cherish the change in seasons and now  I won’t give it up.   While it’s true Winter in New England can drag on with more grey cold days than I’d like,  it has it’s merits.  Living on a farm means spending much of your daylight hours outside tending livestock and gardens and hay fields, etc.  When winter sets in we’re in the house earlier, hunkered down by the fire most evenings, reading and catching up on the news.   It’s a time to allow ourselves to  be together quietly, to recharge and even  hibernate just a little, to not be so busy out and about.  My dogs seem to recharge  too – they sit in my lap and around my feet near the fire in the mancave or at my desk as I work, and they soak in  sunspots on the floor of the kitchen.

     Speaking of dogs… Miss Sally has blended very well with our family – at seven months she’s a bit rambunctious at times but  Ben, Bailey and Frasier tell her what they think of the new kid on the block without bloodshed and she has slowly been accepted into the pack.

     The light in a New England Autumn is just so warm and inviting. The skies bluest of blue.

    And that moon! Did you happen to glimpse the full moon last night?  It was amazing… I need to buy a zoom lens. My phone and canon with regular zoom did not catch it’s magnificence.

   
**Skip this section if you are avoiding unpleasant current events – and I don’t blame you.  Scroll on down to the recipes… 

   In the midst of enjoying all this fall beauty, we are constantly reminded of all the horrors occurring out there in the world. Sometimes I just want to ignore it all, shut it all out… and yet that seems irresponsible.   The horror of what has happened yet again, this time in Vegas.. Well, to sound cliche-ish – what is our world coming to.  And how can you stop a madman from an act such as this.

   Regarding gun laws – I believe in our right to own a gun responsibly. I also think not enough safety precautions are in place – not enough restrictions, regulations.  Thorough background checks, mental health history checks (oh yes, I know that violates rights, but still… ).. why is it harder to get a drivers license than a handgun?  Why are civilians allowed to buy semi-automatic assault weapons?  Silencers, $50 accessories that make a gun fire more rapidly?   And you know, while it may be true that the bad guys will find a way to get their weapon of choice,  why not put up roadblocks regardless?  Any life that might be saved, any deterrent that might stop the progress of an attack such as the Vegas horror show, why ever not?  I don’t agree with those who believe all gun owners are evil and no one should own one except law enforcement.  We don’t live in a Utopian world, we have to be prepared for the real world,  the madness of which you and I are fully aware.  Gun ownership is not all about  angry white men, as a friend of mine would have you believe.  However, the lack of restrictions and regulations in this country is appalling.  Slippery slope, this issue.  But doing nothing seems criminal.

     It continues to amaze me that 45 still has his seat in the Oval office, and the support of his base as well.  I’m no snowflake – I just believe in truth and maturity and a general sense that our President is here for all of us, not the some-of-us who like his brand of… I can’t even call it leadership.  How we can all see the same behavior and either applaud it or be  horrified and embarrassed by it is beyond my scope of understanding.  I had a conversation with a family member last night about this very thing.  I asked what exactly was it about this POTUS that felt inspirational.   Because that was the word the person used.  The explanation was that what 45 says in rallies makes that person feel pride in being American… it says “screw the establishment,  it hasn’t been working for the people, we’re finding our own way”.     Well… what can I say to that – that is my cherished person’s truth.  What I see is the complete opposite.  How did this come to be?  Clearly, I couldn’t tell ya.  I haven’t been happy with the government corruption and obstructionism among parties, lobbyists, etc. for a long time, so I get that sentiment.    It is a small comfort to see some of the GOP putting their party loyalty aside and standing up for integrity, truths, calling a spade a spade.   Right now it seems our divides in this country and abroad are growing wider.  Where this will all lead is a mystery to just about all of us, no matter what our beliefs.. but chaos is an undeniable part of it and that’s a scary deal for all.

  ONWARD! 

 None of these recipes are mine, all credit goes to the links provided.  It’s my goal to make all of these throughout the season though, and hopefully not eat most of each.  Luckily my grown kids stop in frequently and clear out the glass covered cake dish I try to keep full on the kitchen island.  I’m not ashamed to admit I use a little bribery to lure them in for visits and I love every one, even when  they’re  just drive-bys or bathroom stops or complaint filings.   🙂   

   Note: What’s been helping me to stick to a healthier diet lately is I’m really trying to focus on this gluten free thing, to see if it helps with this lovely fibromyalgia pain.   I’m giving it six months, so I know for sure whether it helps to be gluten free.  Two months in, I do notice much less bloat.  For that reason, I won’t be eating most of this stuff myself, although I sure am a glutton for punishment, eh? The temptation will be extreme. 
**Please add your favorite fall dish of any kind in the comments section if you’d like to share too. 







Chocolate Pumpkin Truffles 
 I’ll be back soon with some genuine Vermont fall flare to share… 
and.. a special something from Vermont for a recipe share
winner in the comments section, chosen by tossing your names
on a scrap of paper into the air
and whomever is selected by my Sally pup on the floor
will receive the surprise gift. 
Yup, that’s sometimes how we roll. 

Life Boats

    Yesterday started out kinda lousy- just about every part of my body hurt from this damned fibromyalgia nonsense.  I was also concerned for my daughter, who was away for a few days with her boyfriend and family and would soon return to a cat sicker than just a few days before, her much loved Phoebe.. a cat she had adopted from a shelter several years earlier.  in the past month she had developed an aggressive mouth cancer.  Surgery would mean removing her lower jaw and then chemo and radiation.  Prognosis, 6 months.  K made the wise decision not to torture the cat with all that nonsense, but that meant soon, a time would come to end her misery.  
    The husband suggested we go down to the cottage after farm chores were done – to cut the grass and chill out for a while.  We did just that.  The humidity had disappeared and the temps were in the high 70’s, lovely breezes.  As soon as I saw the water, I decided to get in it.  Donned that bathing suit again!.. ( so proud of my new resolve to live every day fully and without apologies for my less than perfect self. That is SO silly and a waste of time – if you’re doing it too, stop.  Be. Do. LIVE). 
  The water was so refreshing, my muscles eased as my body relaxed into the salt water.. and I floated.  Stared up at the sky and said.. whatever will be, will be. Let go or be dragged – so I let go. 
   We sat on the platform as the water lapped at our feet (high tide) and the neighbor asked if we’d like to hop on his little boat and head out to tour the Thimbles…. and So We Did.   What a treat!  With the wind in our hair and the salt spray on our face, we cruised out and then slowly motored through the thread of islands – a fascinating place with so many houses, all different styles, and beautiful rock outcroppings – a few bridges spanning one island to the next too…  These pics below are not mine – taken from the internet as I had no camera onboard… 

      It was the shot in the arm I needed – a life boat for the day.  We came home refreshed.  
    Today, I accompanied my daughter to the veterinary hospital with her beloved cat. She made a very humane and selfless decision to end the cat’s suffering, even though she would miss her terribly and hated to let her go.   The veterinarian and her staff were so caring, so compassionate.  Another life boat. Miss Phoebe is now resting eternally among the pines on the side of this old house,  with no more pain.   My daughter is hurting, but grateful for the ability to release Phoebe from that awful disease. 
Rest easy, Phoebe girl.  In your last years you knew love. 
Spoiled, pampered, Love.  That – is a beautiful thing. 

Sometimes you just gotta say it….

   F*ck it. 
    Let me start off by expressing my utter disgust at my little self –  I have been less than stellar in my weight loss journey this year. Oh, I’ve given it the old college try every now and again ( like, back in college, when I was young and fit and could drop ten pounds with a few extra sneezes) … but it’s been now… and again… ever since.     My  husband has lost 60 pounds since January… 60!!! SIX  OH.   He looks and feels fantastic.   I’m so happy and jealous for him.   What’s MY problem?   FOOD.   The general love of it, the preparing of it for others,  STRESS.  Having fibromyalgia doesn’t help matters either.  When you hurt 24/7 and an hour of every single day is spent doing physical work out in the barn/coop/garden/yard shoveling sh*t among other things, it’s kinda hard to say… “Body?  I know you just did all that for me and I thank you profusely for soldiering on despite the constant pain and ache while we together care for the 200 animals I insisted on taking in over the years.  But.. can we just push it a little further?  Like four miles on the treadmill?   Let’s lift a few hundred more pounds, shall we?”
….    you  know what Body says, right?

This had me laughing out loud…. ’cause you gotta keep your humor, hear me? – 

   To be clear, I’m not saying F*ck it to the diet or the exercise . No, we all need to keep doing that, even when it hurts.  Use it or lose it, right?    This is something different, and equally important…
 We had some glorious weather this weekend and spent a good part of it down at the cottage once farm chores were done. Both sets of kids came and went as their schedules allowed and I love the time we all spend there.  
  On Saturday I watched as others swam, water skied, cruised in boats, on paddle boards,  bobbled on and around giants floats – there are several in our cove neighborhood.   It was hot.  A great time to jump in the water.  A great time to don a suit and just jump in.  What did I do?….
I stuck my feet in the water off our cement dock pad and wished I hadn’t been such a slouch this spring in the eating and exercise department. 
Sunday.. another glorious day… THIS TIME… I took a good look around, saw (damn it) the neighbors were all in attendance and entertaining guests, even(of course!)    And I thought of how foolish I’ve been.  I’m 52 years old, damn lucky to be here.  I’m 20 lbs overweight and I don’t look as good as I used to in a suit.  WHO CARES.  WHO… CARES.    And if someone does care?  It’s their problem.   I’ve got enough of my own.

 My son was sitting in my kitchen the other day and I did the standard complaint –  He said Mom, you say that all the time, you’ve been saying it for years.  “Jeez, I’m so fat, that’s it, I’m gonna diet starting right now”.  Stop the complaining, mom, just do it.    He’s right!  I don’t want to be the complainer.  I want to be the doer.  Change only comes if you change what you’re doing. 

So…  Sunday,… to start… I said F*ck it.  I went inside and put on that suit and marched right back out, head held high,soaked up a few rays before slipping into that cool blue water.  The kids joined me and it was SO refreshing. – the water, the letting go, the moving on.    I’m not abandoning my health goals – some weight loss, more exercise, better eating habits.  But I’m done beating myself  up and missing out on some of the real pleasures in life, like enjoying the water on a hot summer day. 

 What.. you thought I’d give you the full body shot?  Not.

  Meanwhile, back at the ranch… I made a BIG decision and it feels right.

Till soon, friends – 






  

Fibromyalgia

   I’ve always been a pretty active person, and shoveling shit, hauling water buckets and chucking hay bales has been part of my repertoire for over 30 years.  So… some muscle ache and pain is to be expected, right?  But lately, my 51 year old self has been in chronic pain.. everywhere.  Every muscle is sore and stiff, especially the bigger ones – the traps, the lats,  arms, the glutes, the calves, thigh muscles.. everything.
   A visit to my GP and a lot of bloodwork, twice, revealed all looks good there.  An Xray shows stable degeneration in the arthritic neck, but nothing horrible.  Off to the rheumatologist I went for further examination and she concluded I am a classic case of fibromyalgia.
   Because I am on meds for high blood pressure and I truly hate being on meds of any kind, I am not going to add pills to this regimen as I am sensitive to just about every med there is anyway.  I am looking for organic ways to improve this fibro pain, and so far what I come up with is mild exercise and good sleep. (ha!)   It’s hard to exercise when every muscle in your body says OUCH with every step.  But, I will do it.  Sleep comes easy but STAYING asleep does not.  Not sure how I’m going to work on that.  Another pill was recommended.  *sigh    I hate that cycle.
    So, if any of you has experience with this ghost disease, would you be willing to share your coping methods/remedies?  I’m all ears (and muscle pain).