Tag: – Just sayin

Tied up.

 Yesterday on FB there was an article posted by a horse publication about the art of tying a horse up to a patience pole.  It’s a very common practice in the western world. I’ve seen it many times.  Horses are tied to a “patience pole” or a stall door or inside their stall or tied to the ceiling of an indoor… for hours at a time.  Some were just ridden for an hour or two, already tired,  and then they are tied… to teach them patience.  Sometimes they’re out in sweltering sun, sometimes their tack is left on.  Sometimes they’re tied so short they can’t move their head six inches. I’m not talking about tying them safely so they don’t get tangled, I’m talking tying them in a way so that they can’t truly rest their head at normal level and they become exhausted.   Very prominent trainers in the horse world use this method, there’s no doubt.   They swear by it and claim there is no cruelty.  Article below by one of the most respected.  I know he believes what he’s saying, as do many many of his fans.  I don’t think he’s a cruel individual.

 I wrote on that post yesterday that I have witnessed the practice many times, and I do feel it is inhumane to leave a horse tied in this way for hours on end and I don’t believe for one minute the horse is standing there contemplating what he was just taught while being ridden.  We’re smarter than the horse and if I tethered you to a pole for three hours after putting you to hard work, I don’t think you’d be contemplating what you had just learned.    HOURS, as in very long periods of time.  That was the jist of my comment. 

  What followed was backlash from fans of the method who called me stupid, naive, smartmouthed, dumb,just plain lucky that I didn’t have to use that method on my horses yet achieved the result of a quiet well behaved horse.  I was asked if I know horses at all, so I explained my background and that I’m not hailing myself as a trainer or calling trainers evil.. I just don’t think some of the methods used are humane.   No matter what I said… the name calling continued… without any conversation at all about why they like this training method.  

 Simple truth  – It wears the horse out. That’s the purpose. They are TIRED by the time they’ve been taken off the pole. Would’nt you be? Mentally and physically.   Now, they’re not beating the horse while it’s on the pole.  Fair enough.  I still find the practice cruel. 

My point here isn’t so much to talk to you about tying horses to poles for long periods of time.  It’s more about the sad state of how we talk to each other when we disagree.    




original article below…  by a very well known trainer who has much success in the show pen.  It’s true, the method obtains the end result they are looking for.   His horses do their job.  Doesn’t make it right in my book.  

—————————Tying a horse up for long periods of time accomplishes many important things in your training. I have a little saying, “End each training session by tying your horse up to the ‘Tree or Post of Knowledge.’” Clinton Anderson Training TipsWhen you tie your horse up after a training session, it teaches him not only respect and patience, but it also gives him a chance to think about and absorb what you have just taught him. 


The very last thing you want to do after a training session is get off your horse, take him back to the barn, unsaddle him, hose him off and put him in his stall to eat. This puts his focus more on getting back to the barn and eating than on thinking about his job. If you get into the habit of tying your horse up for two to three hours after you ride him, he won’t be in such a hurry to get back to the barn. 


Some people will read that and think that I’m being cruel to the horse. But I have to ask, “What’s the difference between a horse standing still in a stall or a horse standing still on a Patience Pole? The difference to me is that if he’s standing tied to a pole, he could be thinking about you and what you’ve just taught him, but I guarantee that in the stall he’s not thinking about you at all.



** my answer to that – the difference between a horse standing in his stall and being tied to a “patience pole” is he can move around freely, drink water, nibble hay, lie down if he’s tired from the workout you just gave him… in short.. RELAX.  He can’t do that on the pole.  I don’t care that he’s not thinking of me once I’ve gotten off of him.  He needs the break after what he’s just been put through in the training.   

 Notice in the picture he can’t put his head down, not where it would normal be if he was untied.  The argument will be that it’s for his safety, tying him high. YES… if you’re tying a horse, you have to be sure he can’t step on the rope or chain or get tangled in it.  That’s not the issue.  Why tie him for hours at all. 

The ONLY answer.. is to wear him out. Mentally, physically, so they’re more pliable in the training. 


 That’s my take on the practice.  I am not a horse trainer. I have been working with horses for most of my life, caring for them here at home and in the show pen as well.  I think that qualifies me to form my own educated opinion on what I believe to be inhumane practices.   

What would be awesome is if we could all talk to each other without name calling harassment if we disagree.   Last night after much back and forth and really nasty sarcastic wise ass comments by a few commenters, I pulled the whole conversation because I don’t think the intention of the Horse publication was to spark that kind of commentary.  




Is it me?

  I’ve got a tiny little gripe and I feel like getting it off my chest.  Maybe this is gonna make me sound like a grumpy old lady, of which I hope I never become, but hey if the shoe fits, right?  So you let me know and I’m OK with the answer.

  Do you use the terms BFF, Bestie, Bae?….

 They annoy me.  And here’s why…

Let’s start with “Bae”… which is what some probably-young women call other  probably-young women who are their BFF  or maybe a guy who is their lover, whatever… … this does not necessarily apply to actual couples.  I’m assuming “Bae” is the short form of Babe.  Which is only just one letter shorter, you know?  You’re just cutting off one letter.. one sorta sound,..the B sound which just rolls out of your mouth naturally, it’s not a difficult pronunciation or anything….  so the point of the shortening would be?…….   Just explain it to me, really, if you know..  because I want to understand.

Going out with Bae tonight.. can’t wait to get ice cream with the Bae tonight…. sitting here with Bae, drinking wine.. 

Most of us know what BFF’s are, or Besties.    BFF = Best Friend Forever, and Bestie is pretty self explanitory.   I have friends all over who I cherish, and they’ve all played different rolls in my life. Some I don’t talk to for months or years, but when we catch up, it’s as if no time has passed.  Some I talk to daily because our lives intertwine through jobs or hobbies or volunteer stuff, etc.   A few I’m closer to and share things with more than others.  But would I label anyone a BFF?  Or a Bestie?  I wouldn’t… If I’m  out shopping with my Bestie, are my other friends -lesser-?

Now, if you use the term, you might be annoyed with me right about here.   I’m not really picking on you. All these terms are friendly terms, after all. Cute even!     Maybe  I’m picking on me….. getting older, not riding with the times,  being an old fogey, bucking the new system, if you will.

So, is it me?

Bruce

    I know, I know.. you’re tired of hearing it, seeing it… it’s almost worse than the KardASS*ans, right?   Yet I see THIS picture, by the ever awesome Annie Leibovitz, and I can only say – WOW. 
Bruce/Caitlyn looks fabulous, better as a woman than she ever did as a man. And he wasn’t bad looking in a feminine sort of way. 
     It’s just so hard to wrap the mind around the concept that such a masculine sports hero of years gone by could actually do THIS in his sixties. I think he’s sixty-ish anyway…  Kinda drastic. Could be humiliating, even.  Because people will be people. In my own group of FB friends the reaction is mixed.. mostly full out support, and a few who say PLEASE!  and GROSS! 
     Well, here’s my thinking.  I don’t believe it’s fair to judge the guy/girl.  This is not something anyone would do lightly or without YEARS of thought.  In his case, a lifetime! ..because of the backlash and shunning that will come with it, let alone the psychological warfare you must go through within yourself to get to this place.  Bruce Jenner had to be a pretty tormented soul for all those years, if he truly felt this is what he was meant to be.   So I say live and let live.  Bravo to him for having the courage to become the -she- he felt he was all along, regardless of the backlash.  That takes courage, whether you think it’s gross or not.  Who are we to judge when we have not walked in anothers shoes? 
  

What Not To Wear After Age 50

I’m reposting this because it’s pretty awesome.  Except I like Holiday theme clothes sometimes. I’ll also be wearing jeans, t-shirts and keds till I’m no longer.  Just sayin. 
_________________________________________________________________________________What Not To Wear After Age 50  by Michelle Combs, Huff Post Blogger 

Google ‘what not to wear after age 50’ and you will have your pick of thousands of articles telling you what looks terrible on your old ass body.
I want to point out to the writer who wrote the ‘no-no’ article, you need to remember you are writing for over 50 women, not preschoolers. I don’t think I’ve said ‘no-no’ since my youngest was a toddler.
We could spend hours studying the clothes we shouldn’t wear and the slang we shouldn’t use and the makeup techniques we need to retire.
Here’s me, weighing in on this topic.
You are over 50 for fuck’s sake. Wear whatever you want. If you’ve made it to 50 and still need to consult articles on how to dress appropriately then you are so missing out on one of the best things about being over 50. One of the best things about getting older is realizing that we don’t have to spend our energy worrying what other people think and we get to be comfortable in our own skin with our own freak flags.
Still, there are a few things that women over 50 really shouldn’t wear:
1. The weight of the world. 
When you wear the weight of the world on your shoulders, you age. If you like the feel of the world’s weight and don’t want to give it up, then try scaling back a bit. Perhaps just wear the weight of a few of the smaller continents. For instance, I am only wearing the weight of Australia and a made up country called ‘Michelloponia’. I think it they have a slimming effect.
2. Shame and regret. 
So few people can carry this look off. Most of us just end up looking haunted or like we were forced to eat liver and onions. Shame and regret are especially hard to wear after fifty. Wearing shame and regret past fifty is one of those things that make your eyes all red and runny looking. The downward spiral just snowballs from there. Once the eyes get old lady looking, then you have to re-evaluate the wisdom of black eye liner. I say give up wearing shame and regret and fuck giving up on black eye liner.
3. Rose-colored glasses. 
Oh, sweetheart, you know who you are. Those glasses do nothing for you. Not only do they make you look like you’ve been smoking weed for days, they also keep you from examining life and your surroundings realistically. Yes, reality sucks, but by the time we hit fifty, we need to suck it up, take those glasses off and dick punch reality into submission. Or just get some really big dark sunglasses instead. They cover all manner of sins.
4. Stiff upper lip.
There is a time and a place for the stiff upper lip, but damn, it can’t be worn all the time. Too much stiff upper lip causes those funky vertical lines between your upper lip and your nose holes. We don’t always have to be stoic. I’m not suggesting that you wear your heart on your sleeve, but that is a much softer look than wearing a stiff upper lip.
5. Too many hats. 
Personally, I can’t pull off wearing one hat, much less many hats. I don’t have a hat head. My hair poofs out and my ears look like car doors when I wear a hat. Wearing too many hats just exacerbates these issues. When you wear too many hats, it’s easy to forget which hat you’re wearing. For instance, are you wearing the “no nonsense corporate” hat when you meant to wear your “quirky and kicked back” hat? We’re not getting any younger, you know. Sooner or later you’re going to accidentally wear your court jester hat to the gynecologist and then where will you be? I’ll tell you where you’ll be. You’ll be in an undignified position and wearing a stupid hat is where you’ll be.
6. Resting bitch face. 
Hahahahaha. Just kidding. Wear that one all you want. Although, it wouldn’t hurt if every once in a while, you had a welcoming and kind look on your face. At least that’s what I hear from other people.
There isn’t anything wrong with getting advice about updating your look or what to wear, but we are just inundated with that shit, aren’t we?
Who says what is appropriate? From where I sit, it seems ‘appropriate’ changes based on geography, social status, income and size. After a while, the advice becomes a confusing blur. I think I’ll just keep wearing my Keds and jeans and black tee shirts.
Oh, I do have one real tip. Stop wearing holiday theme clothes. Seriously.
_________________________________________________

Dear Linda

A comment left by Linda – 
To bad you had to get political-have you ever heard obama
speak…mr…teleprompter -aren’t you supposed to be a decorating blog…will
not follow…another angry liberal
-Linda

and then another after I responded...

Like I said – you seem to be angry – not interested in hearing your pathetic commentary… so don’t worry I won’t be following.. have fun in your small world.
Dear Linda – I’ve never been a decorating blog. Nor am I an angry liberal.  My mother is a liberal and my husband is a conservative republican.  I believe that sound choices for our country lie somewhere in the middle, and so that’s where I stand – no affiliation.   Am I Angry?  At some things, you’re damn right. I hope you are too as far as the state of our government.  You assume and label pretty quickly… with your own anger. That’s small world living if you ask me.  
I don’t write my blog for followers. I write as a journal for myself and my family, and the blog friends I’ve made along the way… the ones who I have become friends with regardless of whether we see everything in the same light… they are the icing on the cake, the treasure unexpected when I started this blog.  It’s perfectly OK that you don’t want to be among them.    The beauty of a blog is it’s my space to create and express whatever I choose.  I also like to share things with anyone who WANTS to stop by and see whats posted.. like recipes, health tips, decorating ideas,  family triumphs and tribulations.   I like to support other bloggers who are going through a difficult time and I like what I’ve learned by seeing others points of view, even if they don’t match my own.    
 I would have been interested in knowing what you find redeeming about Sarah Palin and even what you find revolting about Obamas speeches or policy.  Instead you throw insults.   That’s what is so troubling about our political world.  We don’t really know how to communicate and accomplish anymore effectively.. instead it’s arrow slinging.
– Just sayin. 
  

Theres an a$$ for every seat

  To the GOP who stood up and applauded last night when the President mentioned in his speech that he had no more campaigns to run… You are a disgrace, as was your foolish, childish mockery.  Actually, I think CHILDREN know better than to behave in such a way.  As for anyone out there who thought that was appropriate behavior aimed at THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, your attitude is part of why our government is such an embarrassment at this place in time.  And after being handed such an ignorant display of behavior, he is chastised for his response?  If you approved the applauding but disapproved of his giving a  response… which referenced winning both elections… you’re showing your true colors. 
 I’ll say it again as I have said here before.. I don’t approve of all ideas and actions President Obama has brought to the table during this two term presidency and I can say that about any politician elected to office that I’ve ever paid attention to.  I think you can say the same. What we have before us now in our government is shameful behavior that brings to mind schoolyard tactics. Other nations are losing respect for us NOT because of any particular man who holds the highest office, but because of the way we do not stand together, work together, have respect for each other right here in our own home, America. Especially on the highest platform.   We are ALL better than this… and yet we keep sinking further down that hole with our cheers and jeers and accusations and discord and idiotic behavior. 
Enough said.  
  
  

Time Off and Stonington, CT

  

  The husband has, for the very first time, given his crew this week off.   On the second day of the  most unnatural- for- him  hiatus -…..  he got antsy.  

    “What was I thinking, taking this week off.. there is SO MUCH TO DO!@#*!.”
   I pointed out for the  two thousand and twenty seventh time in our history together  that in the 27 years I’ve known him there has never been a time when there wasn’t SO MUCH TO DO!@#*!   but life is too short and every single being needs time to unwind and rewind and that included HIM, let alone his work crew.   I don’t know that he’ll ever truly get that memo, but I’ll keep trying.  Needless to say he was in and out of the office all week.  We did manage some fun though.. yesterday especially. 
   So.. off we went on a short ride to Stonington, CT .. a lovely old New England village with gorgeous old houses originally built for sea captains, etc.  Many of the houses on main street date back to the 1700’s and are beautiful kept. Main Street rides out to a peninsula where you get an unobstructed view of the ocean. The color of the water this time of year is deep blue green marine.  Gorgeous, wild, and COLD.
  Stonington is located in New London County, population approx. 18,000.   The first European colonists arrived in 1649 and officially became part of Connecticut in 1662 when CT received its royal charter. The town acquired wealth in the 1790s when its harbor became home to a fleet involved in the sealing trade – where the skins of seals clubbed on the Chilean and Patagonian coasts were sold as fur in China. 
Ugh.  

     Back to the day – First up was lunch at the waterfront  Dog Watch Cafe… loved it.  We found the people to be very friendly and the food delicious… I didn’t snap pictures inside, the shame of it. I can tell you with certainty their Reuben sandwiches, Veggie Burgers, clam chowder and Bloody Marys are the bomb.  The seafood everything looked pretty awesome too, maybe next trip we’ll sample some of that.  

 Then we drove down Main Street and I proceeded to drive  the guy nuts with the stop and go that is necessary for good picture taking.  It was very cold and the wind was blowing, so I darted in and out of the truck with great efficiency and speed, I must say.   Still…. the chagrin   🙂
  There are many charming stores and restaurants along the way… 
 

.. and the jewels in the crown.. all the old homes…..

The beauty is in the details.. everywhere.  Dental and crown molding abounds…  love the design of this window…

The entire village reminds me of one of my other favorite places, Edgartown on Martha’s Vineyard.

 Most of these homes have ocean  in their backyard or just across the way.

 

 I could live here happily… love the color choices. What you see above is this homes backyard. 
 We also visited Stonington Cemetery located at the entrance to town…  a 22 acre non-sectarian burial ground founded in 1849, although there are many graves dating back to the 1700’s.   According to their website…  The Stonington Cemetery was incorporated in 1849 when a small 18th century burial ground was expanded by a group of Stonington residents who created a significant horticultural and aesthetic landscape site.  Many in the group made their fortunes in the whaling and shipping trades and were responding to the “rural” or “garden” cemetery movement of the time.  The intention was to create settings for relaxation and contemplation rather than sorrow or loss.   

Annie  Wheeler was just 15 when she passed. 

 Below is the very gothic Billings Mausoleum. It was a showcase for the art glass of the J & R Lamb Studios but the windows are all boarded up so you can’t view the glass. What a shame – but I suppose vandalism avoidance is the reason.

    The Mr. often talks about wanting a family mausoleum for when we have all passed.  Personally I see it as a big waste.  I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered where they might nourish a tree… or tossed off a cliff into the ocean. Use the money you might have spent on a lavish funeral and burial to donate to an animal shelter or homeless shelter.    I like the idea of becoming one with nature again, instead of a rotting corpse encased in whatever.. forever.     Who .. of the Billings loved ones.. comes to pay their respects now, I ask you?… and this will sit for centuries.. until someone decides it won’t. 
 HERE    is a listing for a lovely ocean front condominium down at the bottom of Main Street in this lovely town… if I win the lotto we can all share it for a little respite now and then, ok?  Ok. 
  It’s a new day all.. while we’re all still here… make it a good one 🙂  
 
 

  

Merry or Happy?

 

You all know by now that sometimes I just can’t keep my opinions to myself, right?  A good friend of mine posted something on FB the other day that got my attention and so I chirped.  You’re not surprised, are ya.  Her question posed the dilemma of what to say to people during the Holiday season so as not to offend anyone.

*sigh*

Maybe I’m being insensitive, but maybe we’re all getting just a little too sensitive. The irony in all these separate religions and beliefs is that no matter what you or I or our neighbor down the street or the tribe on the other side of the world believes…. the simplest and most relevant truth is.. clearly,  we all got here the same way.  Evolution?  An all powerful God?  All the other creators that are worshiped?  None of us knows the real answer for sure, but we have our beliefs.   Whatever your beliefs are, I support you 100 percent as long as you’re not hurting someone else or shunning them because their beliefs might be different than yours. We need to stop trying to be so -separate- and embrace each other with more acceptance and kindness. Period.  That’s where organized religion irks me..   In some ways it divides people, it angers people, it alienates.

Back to the point here –  If you wish me a Merry Christmas or a Happy Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, etc… I’ll assume the intention is good will.  I will not be offended that you didn’t take what might be my religious beliefs into consideration when offering up any of these tidings  because  all of them are about spreading cheer during this holiday season. There’s never too much of that.

Merry Holidays to you and
yours – I hope you enjoy a safe and happy holiday season with the ones
you love and may the coming year bring good health, good fortune and
Peace On Earth to all –

And so it goes

 I’ve been neglecting my blog lately.  Thank you for those who still drop by.  All is well, I’ve just not been motivated in this one particular space with so much else going on, all good, thankfully.  I miss the daily chatter with my blog friends but some of you have found me on FB and I’m glad we can keep in touch there as well.  So many of you are so inspiring in your own way.. creatively or with a strength and resolve and grace during difficult times….  it’s a pleasure to have come to know you.

Here’s some *random* on a Monday Morning… 

 I watched “And So It Goes” with Diane Keaton and Michael Douglas the other night.   I was so looking forward to it because it should have had that same classic down to earth, real life,  good feeling, great sense of humor of some of my favorite movies  – As good as it gets, Somethings gotta give, Hope Springs,  It’s Complicated, etc.  come to mind.   Maybe it’s just me, but I found it to be a big disappointment.  Michael Douglas was just unlikeable and not really believable in his character  and Diane was…. Diane, only throw in some silly and whiney.  Also, pepper it all with really juvenile humor that seemed like it was put there as an afterthought to spice up the movie.. or something. All in all, it was OK, when it had potential to be really great.  

 My daughter is moving into her own place after Christmas.  That’s the way it should be, and I am so very happy because she’s moving into a terrific apartment and is very excited about it.  So here is mom, mourning the fact that we will probably never all be living under the same roof again, the four of us.  I know it’s the natural order of things and it’s what we want for our children, but I am definitely not one of those moms who can’t wait for the kids to finally leave the nest.  I will miss the foursome we were, here, together.  It’s as if a new stage is set, a new chapter has begun.. onward!  But I liked the old chapter so very much I don’t want to leave it.  Me and those darn apron strings, you know.

I’ve discovered one of the down sides of animal rescue and adoption events. Despite all the precautions we take to screen adopters, sometimes… the dog does not end up in the environment we would choose.  Example.. we do home visits after our adoption events to make sure all is going well.  Recently, one of the dogs we adopted out had a home visit.  The people who adopted her are hoarders.. so there is clutter all over the house.  It’s not filthy, just very very cluttered. Because of all the clutter… the dog is kept mostly on a leash in the house or in her crate.  They don’t want her getting into the “clutter”.  She appears to have bonded with her new owner and looks healthy.  The owner has an autistic son who appeared agitated at the home visit and has not bonded with the dog.  We asked if perhaps the dog was too much at this time and could we refund her money and bring *August home.  She flat out refused and said she LOVES the dog.  We told her living on a leash tied to a table inside a house is no way for a dog to live… and she agreed to work on that.   Really, we have no legal leg to stand on in this case and can’t take the dog back.  We will check in with her again and hope she has decided to acclimate the dog properly to the cluttered house and let her live off leash.  Also, we hope the boy is able to bond in some way with the dog so that there is not additional tension in the house. That’s never good for the dog.. or the family.   

 A blog friend of mine is very worried for her family right now. Knowing what they are going through reminds me that  having the pressure of major troubles during what is supposed to be a joyous season can make it a very difficult and sad time indeed.  If someone you know is struggling, reach out in whatever way is comfortable for you. Let them know they are not forgotten during this season of *Hope. 

May your Holiday Season bring you  Joy and Peace of Mind, Courage, Strength, Love and Hope. Those are the gifts I wish I could bestow on all –  *