Tag: life

Sometimes the Success is not about the ribbons

   This weekend marks the first of the 2015 Connecticut Quarter Horse show circuit series. The four day Spring Classic has felt like anything but -spring-… temps in the 30’s at night, 40-50’s during the day. Indeed, we had SNOW for a while on Thursday. Are ya kidding me??….

   Anyway… 
    This weekend, as it turns out, also marks Team KMax’s retirement.  K and Max had to move up this year, to a division that brings a higher level of competition.  We knew from the get-go that we were probably going to find ourselves out of our league, but K wanted to give it her best shot regardless.  In this division, the horses are very specifically bred, bought and trained to perform at a certain industry standard.  Max is Old School quarter horse, and not what today’s standards require.  He’s not as refined as they like to see in the show pen at the higher levels, and we don’t keep him in  constant training at 20 years old to try to get him as close to it as possible.  So, there is compromise. After a few days of riding and mulling it over at the show, K came to a difficult but clear decision.  
“I think we’re done here, mom.  It’s clear we aren’t cut out for this level of competition and I think it’s time to bring Max home and let him retire. I’m really OK with that. I feel like it’s the right thing to do. “
   Where is the success in this story?  There was no attitude, no aggravation at any point, no sulky behavior or sadness or anger when she came out of class without placing.  There WAS a sense of accomplishment for having actually ridden in that level of competition and a peace of mind that comes with discovering the right path and feeling good about it at this point in the journey. 
   Today I am very proud of my girl.. and happy for Max.  After 20 years of the show horse life, he will come home to This Old House and live out his retirement years in comfort and without a heavy workload.  It’s a beautiful thing.

Waiting to exhale

  If you do nothing else today…. click on the link below.. read the post.  Leave your thoughts in her comments section after, please.    I promise you’ve never come across a more courageous, gracious, inspired and inspiring, light of this world person. I hope I never know the kind of war she’s had to wage to squeeze as much life as she can out of whatever time she has left on this earth.  She should have been given enough time to finish raising her sons, she should come to know grandchildren, she should have been a writer from the very start, she is that gifted.   Go see for yourself –  it will only take a few moments of your time, but it might change your perspective in a big way. Then, enjoy today in all its ordinary.   Just that.

Fighting Style

    Three guesses and the first two don’t count – on what kind of fighting style this girl sports.  Have you been a reader here at This Old House 2  for a while?  If we were sitting in an auditorium you’d all be raising your hands with the answer, smirk style, and you’d all be right.  

    I’m the first to admit it – if there is something that’s pissing me off, you’re going to hear about it.  If you’re the one doing the thing that’s pissing me off – you’ll hear it even louder.  I’m married to the same kind of fighter and that makes life interesting around here.     And curses are part of my vocabulary.. is it a New Yawk thing? … Nope.. because I still have friends who grew up right alongside me in New Yawk who say “Gosh”.    If I ever say ” oh gosh”… know there’s something wrong with me.    Not that there’s anything wrong with it, just so we’re clear here –  it is not a dig against -gosh- exclaimers.    It just ain’t me… it sounds so -wrong- coming out of my mouth.
 The good thing about all that is, you’ll always know where I stand.   The bad thing about that is… you’ll always know where I stand.    What’s better – the noise maker who wants everything aired out, cleared up, straightened out and -let’s move forward-… or the quiet one who stews, simmers, maybe even ignores, but makes a statement in another way, which leaves whomever was the pisser offer clueless.. so that there is no positive change because… clueless.  And you know.. that long slow simmer eventually eats your heart out if you ask me. 

   Then there’s the passive aggressive way of fighting… no arguments, no loud exclamations or swear words or burnt offerings. But there is the steady pushing back, the little insinuations, the gestures, the Oops, did I do that?.. things that are a payback, but they don’t really accomplish anything because it’s not all out in the open, you know?  You’re not saying what you REALLY mean, you’re just getting even.  So the other person is left.. .clueless. 
   Now, in a perfect world, there is no fighting.  Fighting should be obsolete! Let’s all get along!…
but where do we live?  In the real world. 
    So what’s your fighting style?  …has it served you well?  I don’t know that mine has.. I didn’t choose it..but it is what it is. 
  

Here we go again!

  First, let me thank every one of you who responded to my “issues” post –  one of the things that makes the difficult parts of life less -difficult- is sharing information, worries, dilemnas, etc with others, gaining valuable insight and knowing you’re not alone.  I don’t blog as often as I used to because – life-, but I’m sure glad you still poke your head in here now and then. Here’s what I decided to do once I read all your comments and went to the Dr. with more questions. 
   I’ve started a new drug (a Beta Blocker) because what I’ve been taking just ain’t cutting it. Very low dose for now, we’ll see where that goes.  I hate meds but I don’t have a choice right now while I tweak other things.   I am drinking more water,  I’m walking, I am making A BIG EFFORT to cut out dairy, gluten, sugar.  I already know when I do that, (ain’t no easy feat)… I feel so much better. The weight comes off, the aches and pains are much less, the blood pressure comes down.  I know some of you are already aware that when there is inflammation present in your body, dairy, sugar and gluten are inflammatory. So why dump it in your body to compound the issue, right?   I am also going to stay with the therapeutic massage to my neck and shoulders – right now I’m going twice a week to get rid of the spasms, but I will stay on a maintenance plan from here on out – maybe once every three weeks.  It’s something I have not done before because… I don’t like lying on that table or spending the money because insurance won’t cover it… but I like feeling awful and immobile even less… so it’s simple science, you know?   AND… I won’t cut out my farm chores, but I’m changing the way I do them. Instead of tackling them with a vengeance, I’m mosying through my morning chores, sometimes taking a break to look at my phone, chat with others, etc.  I’m actually sitting down for 10 minutes every day to stretch and just breathe in and breathe out, slowly, deeply.    
  So… where are we going?… to another Homeward Bound CT Adoption Event!  For the next few days, myself and about 30 other people will be pretty busy helping dogs find homes – there will be smiles, laughs, tears even… and some exhausted people at the end of the weekend – but lets hope and pray and please send positive thoughts that  our 50 dogs will find their homes by Sunday night –   Hooray for the Underdog!….
 
 A few more of our adoptable adorables….

How to break the cycle

…I don’t have a darn clue. 
  I’ve been struggling with the same issue for years now.  Because of the nature of the physical work of shoveling shit for 35 years… and the nature of bending over a computer keyboard on and off for various work related stuff over the years…   I’ve got arthritis in my neck and muscles spasms in the neck/shoulder area that occasionally FLARE. 
     Now throw in High Blood Pressure.  And medicine sensitivities galore. 
  Here’s why that’s aggravating as hell –  I hate BP meds, they make me feel like a slug and aren’t really effective.  I’ve tried three so far – bleh.   If I lose 10-15 lbs, which is about what I’ve gained over the years that I shouldn’t have… the numbers might come down some.  So I start doing some intensive treadmill walking/hiking and a few Yoga routines.  Which throws my neck and shoulders into a tizzy.  Which causes pain, which spikes the blood pressure. 
   Now throw in Anxiety… because when I feel like crap, that factors in too.  The muscle relaxants that are prescribed when the pain gets real bad make me feel like a zombie. Anti inflammatories make me stomach sick.  The Anxiety spirals, the muscles spasm more… 
 and still there is shit to shovel and documents to edit. 
  I’m not getting rid of the horses/chickens/rabbits.   I’m not quitting my day job.  I really need to keep up exercise regimen for health and well being.  
 So I ice my neck. I go to Physical Therapy.  I try to eat almost nothing to lose that 10-15 lbs, and it gets somewhere and then I fall back.  
Round and round it goes, when she’ll figure out what works for good, no one knows.   Or maybe I just don’t want to accept it.  
Anyway… have you found yourself in a negative life cycle that you’d love to resolve?  Did you manage to do so?  What worked for you, do tell…
  
   
  

Where have I been!!???…

   Busy, but in a good way.   In my new old position as editor of our local publication, (because our town is so small we don’t have an actual newspaper) .. I am feeling creative again and contributing to the community, hopefully in a good way.   I love that I can work at home, too. Right now the dogs are laying all around me and I’ve got a candle burning as the snow begins to fly once again.  Oh, did I really just say that?… Indeed….

  We celebrated the big FIVE OH  quietly with family – because of my hearing impairment, big noisy parties and the conversations they require are hard to navigate. I asked only one thing… please, no big party.   I had a lovely day and I can honestly tell you I feel the number is a present to be opened, not a thing to begrudge. Age is a privilege, a gift not all receive.  I’ll take it open handed and embrace each year as it comes, wrinkles and all.  

 Made this recipe the other night and it was a huge hit.  To the arteries, not just the taste buds.  But hey, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do and hope for the best.

Dad’s Swedish Meatballs – Taste of Home Recipe





Ingredients

  • 1 egg, lightly beaten
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1 cup soft bread crumbs
  • 1/2 cup finely chopped onion
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
  • 1/4 teaspoon pepper
  • 1 pound ground beef
  • 1/2 pound ground pork
  • 1/4 cup butter, cubed
  • DILL CREAM SAUCE:
  • 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup heavy whipping cream
  • 1 cup beef broth
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon dill seed

Directions

  • In a large bowl, combine the first seven ingredients. Crumble beef and pork over mixture and mix well. Shape into 1-1/2-in. balls. In a large skillet, cook meatballs in butter in batches until a thermometer reads 160°. Remove and keep warm.

    In a small bowl, combine the sauce ingredients until blended. Stir into skillet. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Serve with meatballs. Yield: 6 servings.

Aging does have advantages

  ….And I’m not referring to all that crap the AARP has started sending my husband and I.  Do they keep a record somewhere  of just exactly when each citizen in the US is going to turn 50 so they can get you to jump on their bandwagon and take advantage of all that they have to SELL you ASAP?  Uncanny how all of a sudden, there it is, in your mailbox, exactly when they think you should start paying attention to their stuff. 
    What I’ve learned in my first 50 years  (hoping for a second 50  but we all know every day is a gift):
It’s true – LIFE IS SO VERY SHORT.  And you don’t really feel or understand that until you’ve lived it for a while. Time does indeed  speed up as we go along.  Remember how ENDLESS summers felt when you were 8 or 9 years old?  It stretched on forever.    Not anymore.. it’s a blip. If you blink three times, you might miss it. Looking at the history of the World, our life span is just a period at the end of a sentence in a long essay.  I have indeed learned to appreciate every.single.day.  
THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS.  Whatever it is that has you crazy at any particular time, you won’t always feel that way. It won’t always BE that way.   Here’s a biggie…some things you have power to change, some things you don’t.  Regardless, don’t waste too much energy in “the craze”… because it isn’t here forever and neither are you.  Let it go, accept, move forward.    (If my family is reading this right now there might be a snort or two.. .just hush – it’s a work in progress. )
TRULY, DEEPLY, AND ABSOLUTELY, LIKE YOURSELF.  I don’t say “love” here, because that doesn’t come easy to a lot of us, so lets be realistic and start with LIKE.   When I was young, oh I had my opinions and my ideas and desires on what I wanted my life to look like and who I wanted to be.  But I also didn’t have a lot of faith in myself – that old self-esteem issue – and caved to what others wanted me to be.  I didn’t often -follow my bliss-, nurture my creative side, pursue what I was capable of accomplishing, I didn’t believe in ME.   First on the agenda as I have matured has been to be true to myself, my beliefs, accept my shortcomings, admit and correct them where needed without beating myself up  –  and nourish creativity. I also don’t give a flying F if someone just doesn’t like me for whatever their reason.      Tell me – Why is it so important, especially for women, that we are -liked-.   It is, though, isn’t it. We want to nurture, protect and take care of… and we want to be liked.   It all starts from within, not outside sources.  Took a long time for me to figure that one out. 
 This is my 50th birthday month. I’m very OK with that, grateful ,absolutely.  I can say without a tinge of cringe.. that I love who I have become.   Perfect?  Heck no.  But good enough for me.  There aren’t a whole lot of pictures of me when I was a younger person… and those that were taken tell the story of someone who does not feel comfortable in her own skin.  Look for yourself…
Graduation celebration when the world was indeed my oyster, but I didn’t know it, afraid to open it! I rarely smiled big back then, because I didn’t trust to be that happy in the moment. 
Taken two days ago… 
I’m more than OK with 50.  I finally like me a lot, wouldn’t want to be someone else, am proud of what I’m accomplishing, accepting where I fall short,  and am trying where I can to leave this world a better place where I am able to touch it. While I’m not jumping for joy over the hearing loss, the wrinkles and dry skin and grey hairs that greet me in the morning, I do like what I see,… I know it’s a privilege. ….and I smile… big. 
 I saw this mug in a store last week and bought one for my daughter and one for myself.    Love the saying.. yes, this. 
  

As far back as I can remember

 …. we have not had this much snow and cold temps for such an extended period of time.  My poor guys have been plowing and shoveling and salting and sanding for what seems like eons.  There is no place to put the new snow that is currently blanketing our blanket of snow. Parking lots in this area look like snow fortresses, the banks are now so high.

 Do any of you remember Bob Ross?  The afro sporting happy God Bless fella who used to have a painting show on TV  – back in the day-?  I loved  him.. .. he could whip up glorious paintings in 20 minutes where if you had all the “stuff”, you could follow along and create something not too horribly awful…. and he was always always upbeat, happy, wishing you well.   
This picture has been circulating FB and it has me laughing…


So today as I sit here typing on my NEW COMPUTER THAT IS INDEED COMPATIBLE WITH ADOBE CLOUD and  finally I am all set and ready to go with no more bullsh*t chats with Adobe techs in India….. I am also looking out over snow covered everything, and it’s still coming down from the skies.

The dogs have been doing a lot of this… 

And I have been dragging out the spring decorations because ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. 

These beautiful owls were intended as Tree ornaments, but I love them so much I found them
a permanent home perched in the little trees on either side of my Marthas Vineyard Blue Moon.

Cadbury Eggs = CRACK,   in case you weren’t aware. 

 As always, thanks for stopping by and I hope you all have a good day. 

Still looking for the silver lining….

  There is major suckitude in the Adobe world, let me tell you a little something. 
   So…. I have taken back an old position as editor of a local publication, right?  Let me be clear that I am thrilled to do so, grateful for the opportunity, thankful that others had faith in me to do it justice.  BUT.. I haven’t done this for the past 10 years.     * Things have changed. 

   For one thing, I can’t use Pagemaker, my long lost friend,  to put the publication together anymore.  Actually when you say that word to any tech store person, they laugh.  Apparently, it’s a dinosaur. Extinct.  Doesn’t matter, though!… Because I am no longer actually putting the publication together, so to speak, I’m just doing the editorial and -helping- to assemble!
 So I’m saying to my little self –  AWESOME NEWS!… 
 Except… there were still glitches.  Apparently, the whole world uses ADOBE products now for this sort of thing and a  host of other -things- that I might or might not have a use for.  Apparently I have been living under a rock.  Have you heard of Adobe Cloud?  It encompasses a whole lot of capability – Indesign,  Photoshop,  ILlustrator, lightroom, Acrobat Pro…   and there… right there… was were I came across THE RUB. 
 While in the process of learning the ropes with my new old job, I discovered I would need to get up to speed with those Adobe products in order to share work with my partner in our little publication.  So I downloaded Adobe Cloud, which I will pay $30. per month for, because you can no longer just go to Staples and buy the CD… Nooooo… it’s a monthly charge thing that you download from a site!  The Adobe site in this case.  Yep, they figured out how to make more money off us.  Anyway.  I download it, right?  And I start rummaging around in the Cloud on my computer. One of the key components in my job is the use of Acrobat Pro.  It is supposed to come with the Cloud package.  For some reason, it wasn’t there.   *sigh. 
How do you get in contact with Adobe for f*ck ups?  Well, you can take your chances in the forums or search 250,000 help articles which they ask you to do ten times before they will actually connect you to   a CHAT session with an Adobe tech.   
How do I make a long story short here. 
First tech:…two and a half hours of all kinds of diagnostics, not getting anywhere, only to have the internet connection cut off and chat session end.    (really?)…. 
Before the disconnect, however…after a lengthy aggravating diagnostic check… We finally figured out one small thing and I said.. 
well, at least we cleared that up, “D”.. Need a Cigarette? ….  
To which “D” replied..  We do not smoke here.   
I don’t either, D.   It was just a joke. 
“D” says… Oh, that is good humor. 
What country do you reside in, D?…. 
Bangalore, India.  
Ok D, I’ll quit the American Humor. 
*SIGH. 
five minutes later, we’re disconnected. 
Second tech:… two hours… all kinds of diagnostics, the same as tech one… still can’t figure out what the issue is.  I’m red in the face at the end of this chat… which ends AGAIN… by internet disconnect.  (Swearing profusely at this point).
Third tech a day later:…. I explain all that has come before this and he apologizes profusely for the inconvenience and he “understands my concern”.  ( I don’t really think so )    He explains there are often disconnects due to the internet connection being dicey. Coming all the way from F-ing India, I am not surprised.   But we go about the same damned dance one more time, and yet, at the end of another two hour struggle we have still gotten nowhere. 
Only.. THIS time.. this tech has the brains to say..
May I ask you.. what Operating System are you using?…
Vista.
OH!..  he exclaims with just a little too much of an underscore of HAPPINESS!…. We can’t help you! Acrobat Pro is not compatible with Vista! You’ll need to contact Microsoft. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

Can you pass a Marguerita through that screen and coat the rim with Xanax?  If not, there’s nothing more you can help me with today. 

                                                           Internet Disconnect. 
So where do I go from here?  Apparently I have to upgrade my operating system in order to get the tools I’ve already paid for and downloaded to my computer.  And apparently that would be costly and a royal pain in the a&&.  Especially because I have an older computer.  So.. this week I’m getting a new computer that has an OS that is compatible with the components I need to utilize in my new old position.  THEN, I will need to go back into the black hole that is ADOBE TECH SUPPORT and hope the first tech I talk to can figure out how to install Adobe Cloud onto my NEW COMPATIBLE COMPUTER SYSTEM so that I can get back to work.  And not charge me twice for it.  What are the odds of that happening without a DISCONNECT- 
 Do you know why Adobe sucks?  They have a monopoly on the design/publishing/photoshop/etc world.  There is no other option if you’re in this business. How is that legal?  Everyone and their brother and third cousin twice removed plus their dogs, parrot and pet skunk uses Adobe.  So, if you want to be compatible with everyone else?  You need the Cloud.

And you know what also sucks?  That they hire all that tech help overseas.  I know plenty of techies looking for a decent job right here in the states.  I have nothing against the good people of India… but we have good people right here that need the jobs to stay .. right here.   That’s the biggest suckitude in all of this. 

 I’ll keep you posted.. next time.. from my expensive new computer, hopefully equipped compatibly.  
   

What Not To Wear After Age 50

I’m reposting this because it’s pretty awesome.  Except I like Holiday theme clothes sometimes. I’ll also be wearing jeans, t-shirts and keds till I’m no longer.  Just sayin. 
_________________________________________________________________________________What Not To Wear After Age 50  by Michelle Combs, Huff Post Blogger 

Google ‘what not to wear after age 50’ and you will have your pick of thousands of articles telling you what looks terrible on your old ass body.
I want to point out to the writer who wrote the ‘no-no’ article, you need to remember you are writing for over 50 women, not preschoolers. I don’t think I’ve said ‘no-no’ since my youngest was a toddler.
We could spend hours studying the clothes we shouldn’t wear and the slang we shouldn’t use and the makeup techniques we need to retire.
Here’s me, weighing in on this topic.
You are over 50 for fuck’s sake. Wear whatever you want. If you’ve made it to 50 and still need to consult articles on how to dress appropriately then you are so missing out on one of the best things about being over 50. One of the best things about getting older is realizing that we don’t have to spend our energy worrying what other people think and we get to be comfortable in our own skin with our own freak flags.
Still, there are a few things that women over 50 really shouldn’t wear:
1. The weight of the world. 
When you wear the weight of the world on your shoulders, you age. If you like the feel of the world’s weight and don’t want to give it up, then try scaling back a bit. Perhaps just wear the weight of a few of the smaller continents. For instance, I am only wearing the weight of Australia and a made up country called ‘Michelloponia’. I think it they have a slimming effect.
2. Shame and regret. 
So few people can carry this look off. Most of us just end up looking haunted or like we were forced to eat liver and onions. Shame and regret are especially hard to wear after fifty. Wearing shame and regret past fifty is one of those things that make your eyes all red and runny looking. The downward spiral just snowballs from there. Once the eyes get old lady looking, then you have to re-evaluate the wisdom of black eye liner. I say give up wearing shame and regret and fuck giving up on black eye liner.
3. Rose-colored glasses. 
Oh, sweetheart, you know who you are. Those glasses do nothing for you. Not only do they make you look like you’ve been smoking weed for days, they also keep you from examining life and your surroundings realistically. Yes, reality sucks, but by the time we hit fifty, we need to suck it up, take those glasses off and dick punch reality into submission. Or just get some really big dark sunglasses instead. They cover all manner of sins.
4. Stiff upper lip.
There is a time and a place for the stiff upper lip, but damn, it can’t be worn all the time. Too much stiff upper lip causes those funky vertical lines between your upper lip and your nose holes. We don’t always have to be stoic. I’m not suggesting that you wear your heart on your sleeve, but that is a much softer look than wearing a stiff upper lip.
5. Too many hats. 
Personally, I can’t pull off wearing one hat, much less many hats. I don’t have a hat head. My hair poofs out and my ears look like car doors when I wear a hat. Wearing too many hats just exacerbates these issues. When you wear too many hats, it’s easy to forget which hat you’re wearing. For instance, are you wearing the “no nonsense corporate” hat when you meant to wear your “quirky and kicked back” hat? We’re not getting any younger, you know. Sooner or later you’re going to accidentally wear your court jester hat to the gynecologist and then where will you be? I’ll tell you where you’ll be. You’ll be in an undignified position and wearing a stupid hat is where you’ll be.
6. Resting bitch face. 
Hahahahaha. Just kidding. Wear that one all you want. Although, it wouldn’t hurt if every once in a while, you had a welcoming and kind look on your face. At least that’s what I hear from other people.
There isn’t anything wrong with getting advice about updating your look or what to wear, but we are just inundated with that shit, aren’t we?
Who says what is appropriate? From where I sit, it seems ‘appropriate’ changes based on geography, social status, income and size. After a while, the advice becomes a confusing blur. I think I’ll just keep wearing my Keds and jeans and black tee shirts.
Oh, I do have one real tip. Stop wearing holiday theme clothes. Seriously.
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