Tag: life

The one where she can’t come up with a post title….

 .. because I’ve taken back an old editorial job where I’m constantly trying to come up with better, easier, more creative ways to say something.   Not that I’m particularly good at it!  

   We’ve got more snow on the horizon… feels like we’re living in a perpetual snow globe.  There is a very small deck outside my kitchen sliders that has three steps down to the backyard and gardens.  Sometimes on a cold winter day if the sun is shining bright, I can lay out on that little deck comfortably in a t shirt and jeans and soak up the warmth and light.  The wood decking absorbs the heat from the sun and it feels glorious against my  sore back muscles.   


Currently…the snow is inches ABOVE the lip of the deck… that just ain’t right.  
 Despite the snow and cold temps, we’ve also had some glorious sunsets.  This came straight from my iPhone… the sky was that amazing. 
 We had some fun with good friends on Sunday.. took a ride to the far corners of the State to see a very old  house that needs restoration.   What a glorious place..  I can’t share pictures with you at this point but I will when it’s OK to do so.  You’ll fall in love, just as we have. 

  She was braver than I with her good camera in hand, climbing over a snow embankment to capture a snow covered garden yard.

 So.. more snow.  And because of that, I need some inspiration…… 

 A beautiful spring CUPCAKE!… because.. …snow. 





Lets ramble through…

 Feel free to chime in on any of the below mentioned items…..

 How about them Patriots?!!!…. Yes I’m a fan.. and boy did they come through in a clutch, once again.  I can’t stand the arrogance in the Seahawk camp and while it was very unfortunate that they made a really bad mistake at the very end of the game, they deserved it.  As for deflate gate, funny video here.  But.. they’re all lying… because I AM THE LOCKER ROOM GAL. 
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Sarah Palin… I know some of my readers are fans.  I have never understood the following, and the fact that she still has some support and is given any platform at all is just.. wow.  But.. I’m going to venture to guess that the brave souls who still stand in her camp are quietly backing away at this point because… the freedom speech.  And hey, if you’re going to defend her with  “Her Teleprompter broke!”…. then my answer is…. Yeah.. so you got the REAL DEAL right then and there. Boom.  
   I get that we are all weary and want change.  Change is needed, no doubt… but this -ain’t it – .  
Didn’t catch the speech?  Here’s just an excerpt.. one of the more coherent. 
“Things must change for our government. Look at it. It isn’t too big to fail. It’s too big to succeed! It’s too big to succeed, so we can afford no retreads or nothing will change with the same people and same policies that got us into the status quo. Another Latin word, status quo, and it stands for, ‘Man, the middle-class everyday Americans are really gettin’ taken for a ride.’ That’s status quo, and GOP leaders, by the way, y’know the man can only ride ya when your back is bent. So strengthen it. Then the man can’t ride ya, America won’t be taken for a ride, because so much is at stake and we can’t afford politicians playing games like nothing more is at stake than, oh, maybe just the next standing of theirs in the next election.”

Ouch. 
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 It’s snowing, sleeting, raining again here in Connecticut.   I’ve just come in from shoveling paths to the dog run, the barn, the chicken coop and rabbit hutch.  These are the times when I ask myself the question… .”Why do I have all these animals again??”… but you know.. the consolation is.. I love to eat.  Without all this work, I’d probably weight 200 lbs.   And theres all the love.    All you need is LOVE… and a dog. (.. or four….. and a few horses, rabbits, chickens and fish… apparently). 
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I’m going back to an official work status and the task of turning my office back into an actual office meant we had to toss Bens queen size mattress and buy him something smaller, a twin.  He’s still getting used to it.  Most of the time he has figured out how to fit his entire being on it quite nicely. 
Sometimes it’s just all wrong. 
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Apple Chicken Sausage recipe HERE
Delicious, healthy, easy to make and comforting on a cold winters night. 
Speaking of recipes.. I’m not much of a drinker.. but now and then 
a good one is just refreshing and the load becomes a little lighter
with just a little buzz. I was recently introduced to this drink and it’s a winner in my book.
Dark & Stormy
Ingredients:
Goslings Ginger Beer
Goslings Dark Bermuda Rum
Lime, Ice
Fill a tall glass with ice. Pour in about an inch of  rum. Fill the rest of the glass with Ginger Beer. Squeeze a large wedge of lime into the drink and drop the slice in.  Stir.. enjoy.   YUM!
It’s a new day, all!.. Let’s make it a good one. 

Blizzard 2015 and prayer for a special person

  Business as usual… weathermen all aflutter over what might be the Blizzard of 2015.  If you live in the northeast, have you stocked up on the essentials yet?  Toilet paper, bread and milk are the three things we apparently can’t live with out.  Speaking of milk… we’ve discovered a new product that we love beyond whats reasonable, I’m pretty sure.. it’s called FAIR LIFE – read more HERE.   I’m not being paid to herald it, we just really love the taste and the concept of cows living humanely and we consumers -consuming- a healthier product. 
  My thoughts keep returning to a blog friend. She is  struggling greatly and if you’re so inclined, please visit THIS post and  leave a kind word, send a little prayer.  I cannot fathom what she must consider daily now and her grace under such enormous weight is amazing, a lesson for us all.  It occurs to me as I type this that the  concept of prayer might seem like hypocrisy coming from someone who claims  she is not religious.  I don’t know what to say to that… only that in times when it seems appropriate and necessary, I pray to the powers that be that there will be healing, peace of mind, comfort for those who need it, including me.
 
    

A whole lot of random, but useful just the same

   I took the tree down yesterday.  It was indeed a pretty tree… My mother thinks that’s a travesty but ’round here – when it’s over, it’s over.  My neighbor across the road just put hers up on Christmas Eve. I know that’s a tradition going way back, but it seems a month behind to me.   That wasn’t useful, was it. 🙂 
                                                                     *****
   A great article in the Huffington Post  HERE   on the 7 habits of chronically unhappy people… I think everyone should read it and evaluate and perhaps… adjust accordingly.  I wouldn’t say I’m an unhappy person but I am indeed a worrier.  Worriers should read this article too.  Really – click on the link, it’s worth the effort. 
                                                                     *****
   A fantastic recipe I made last night, shared by a good friend.  I used Almond flour instead of regular flour and let me tell you, folks.. it was delicious. Devoured in an hour.   I recommend it highly, with the glaze.  Of course, once I devoured 1/4 of the loaf  before bedtime, I was up all night due to the sugar content, I’m pretty sure.  I’ve read articles that claim sugar really doesn’t make people/kids hyper, but I think that’s just crap.  It gives me palpitations and a racing heart if I eat too much of it… every time.   So you’d think I’d stay completely away, right?   *sigh   right. 

                                                                          ******
           Another plane absolutely completely and totally…missing…..
 this is getting really… really.. strange.
Anyone got any theories?  I’m not going to post mine.

UPDATE:  Debris found….  

*****  
“There’s this youth culture that is really, really powerful and really, really strong, but what it does is it really discards people once they reach a certain age. I actually think that people are so powerful and interesting – women, especially – when they reach my age. We’ve got so much to say, but popular culture is so reductive that we just talk about whether we’ve got wrinkles, or whether we’ve put on weight or lost weight, or whether we’ve changed our hair style. 
I just find that so shallow”.
–Annie Lennox, who just turned 60.



Related in a different way – a very attractive, very fit friend of mine in her mid forties is
so very critical of herself – her appearance and the beginning signs of aging
 – and it’s an awful thing to witness.
… we need to stop the self torture, really.
It’s a privilege to age and it’s societies unfair standards that have brought
us to this. Lets stop the nonsense. Every morning when you look
in the mirror, truly see the beauty that is before you.
Do you have crows feet?  You must have lived some happy times, because
you’ve been smiling.  What a gift.
Do you have laugh lines?  Ditto.
Stretch marks from child rearing?
What an accomplishment… a miracle!
Kind eyes?  a generous mouth?
 Allow yourself to recognize your own beauty.   Just that.

*****

We have a new year upon us… 
Resolutions…what say you? 
 I plan to be kinder to my aging self…
to embrace each day, even the trying ones.. because indeed every minute is a gift. 
to try my best to be a positive force on this earth
and not  a user, or a taker, as my deceased father in law would say.
A Happy, Healthy, Peaceful 2015 to all!



  
   

And so it goes

 I’ve been neglecting my blog lately.  Thank you for those who still drop by.  All is well, I’ve just not been motivated in this one particular space with so much else going on, all good, thankfully.  I miss the daily chatter with my blog friends but some of you have found me on FB and I’m glad we can keep in touch there as well.  So many of you are so inspiring in your own way.. creatively or with a strength and resolve and grace during difficult times….  it’s a pleasure to have come to know you.

Here’s some *random* on a Monday Morning… 

 I watched “And So It Goes” with Diane Keaton and Michael Douglas the other night.   I was so looking forward to it because it should have had that same classic down to earth, real life,  good feeling, great sense of humor of some of my favorite movies  – As good as it gets, Somethings gotta give, Hope Springs,  It’s Complicated, etc.  come to mind.   Maybe it’s just me, but I found it to be a big disappointment.  Michael Douglas was just unlikeable and not really believable in his character  and Diane was…. Diane, only throw in some silly and whiney.  Also, pepper it all with really juvenile humor that seemed like it was put there as an afterthought to spice up the movie.. or something. All in all, it was OK, when it had potential to be really great.  

 My daughter is moving into her own place after Christmas.  That’s the way it should be, and I am so very happy because she’s moving into a terrific apartment and is very excited about it.  So here is mom, mourning the fact that we will probably never all be living under the same roof again, the four of us.  I know it’s the natural order of things and it’s what we want for our children, but I am definitely not one of those moms who can’t wait for the kids to finally leave the nest.  I will miss the foursome we were, here, together.  It’s as if a new stage is set, a new chapter has begun.. onward!  But I liked the old chapter so very much I don’t want to leave it.  Me and those darn apron strings, you know.

I’ve discovered one of the down sides of animal rescue and adoption events. Despite all the precautions we take to screen adopters, sometimes… the dog does not end up in the environment we would choose.  Example.. we do home visits after our adoption events to make sure all is going well.  Recently, one of the dogs we adopted out had a home visit.  The people who adopted her are hoarders.. so there is clutter all over the house.  It’s not filthy, just very very cluttered. Because of all the clutter… the dog is kept mostly on a leash in the house or in her crate.  They don’t want her getting into the “clutter”.  She appears to have bonded with her new owner and looks healthy.  The owner has an autistic son who appeared agitated at the home visit and has not bonded with the dog.  We asked if perhaps the dog was too much at this time and could we refund her money and bring *August home.  She flat out refused and said she LOVES the dog.  We told her living on a leash tied to a table inside a house is no way for a dog to live… and she agreed to work on that.   Really, we have no legal leg to stand on in this case and can’t take the dog back.  We will check in with her again and hope she has decided to acclimate the dog properly to the cluttered house and let her live off leash.  Also, we hope the boy is able to bond in some way with the dog so that there is not additional tension in the house. That’s never good for the dog.. or the family.   

 A blog friend of mine is very worried for her family right now. Knowing what they are going through reminds me that  having the pressure of major troubles during what is supposed to be a joyous season can make it a very difficult and sad time indeed.  If someone you know is struggling, reach out in whatever way is comfortable for you. Let them know they are not forgotten during this season of *Hope. 

May your Holiday Season bring you  Joy and Peace of Mind, Courage, Strength, Love and Hope. Those are the gifts I wish I could bestow on all –  *

Throw me a land line… or not.

    For the past two weeks we’ve had heavy static on our home phone line.  I called AT & T to report the trouble and they sent a technician out the very next day. He went in the basement, he went out to the road, he went in the basement.. came up and said he had one more visit to the pole at the road and was all set.   Didn’t see him again.

Still Static.  I waited a bit, figuring maybe he was still working on the problem.   Days later, nope. Called A T & T again… reported heavy static still on the line.. this time it took four days for an A T & T Truck to show up on the street, but they never came in the house.  They were gone before I could tell them there was still static on the line. 

I just called to report Static on the line again.. this time I did not use the automated trouble reporting service they WANT you to use.  I figured out how to talk to an actual person and told her I want to SEE and TALK to the technician next time he/she comes out here to “fix” this problem.

Mike and I are wondering… why do we still have a land line?  Almost every form you fill out nowadays asks for your cell phone number. We both have cell phones, as do the kids, and everyone uses them far more often than the land line.  Even relatives who don’t have a cell phone can still call you on your cell.  SO… land line, or not?

What  say you? Have you given up your land line yet?  I know many have.  What do you think of it?  Or, if you’ve kept your land line, what are your reasons?   It’s a hard habit to break after all these years… but, maybe it’s time to let it go.

Forgiving

   One of the toughest things we are asked to do in this life is to “forgive”.  It’s wonderful to hear stories of forgiveness, even of some of the most heinous crimes. We are so inspired by the people who have the grace to rise above the evil act to forge ahead without malice or ill will, but when it is asked of us individually, that row can be tough to hoe.  Anger and blame are eager to keep a firm grip on our ability to do so…. and don’t ever underestimate it’s power to hold you back from living your best life.   Did you know that many studies have shown that one of the keys to a long life and good health is a habit of gratitude and letting go of things that have hurt us instead of holding on to them?  

  I recently learned something about someone I love that initially really hurt me.  Anger and blame… yep, my first reactions. But as I sat with myself and this roiling boil of anger, if I’m being honest I have to remember that the person in question is a good soul in so many ways.  The issue itself was not an intentional wound inflicted on my being.. it was a typical thoughtless behavior when one is ‘caught up in the emotion of the moment’.   And you know… sometimes you might have contributed to the reasons the offense happened in the first place.  I’m not implying that’s always the case, but when it is…it’s hard to admit to oneself  that it might be truth.

   Then there is the judging which is ooh, so easy to do.  Have I been a model human being every step of the past 49 years?   Hell no.   Have I hurt others, even if it was unintentional?  Yep.   Most of the time, every fiber of my being wants to avoid -hurting- anything… but somehow I have managed now and again.   And there’s that feeling.. you probably know the one… of dragging around that weight of anger…. so damaging to your own self – it’s really just not worth it.

  I’m getting better at this forgiveness thing as I get older. And part of that process is forgiving myself for not being 100 percent of what I WANT to be made of 100 percent of the time.  We are human, we are imperfect, we all make mistakes.  The key is to learn and grow from them.  And to forgive when it’s possible, forget if you can… or at the very least.. acknowledge it, because you have to…. and then…. let it go.

  One of my favorite places to escape to unwind and throw my wounds to the wind is the ocean.

  I swear I was a mermaid in another life.

  
 

On growing Old – gracefully.

    Most of us hope we achieve – truly  old – someday.  Of course the -being old- isn’t easy, but it’s a privilege  not everyone gets to enjoy.  As for my own thoughts on the subject… I hope I am lucky enough to live long,  to have family and friends to continue to love,  that I don’t carry the burdens of too much sorrow, and I am healthy and sound of mind enough to take care of myself until I just find myself -passed-.

   My grandmother lived independently until she was 85.  What a gracious woman she was, and so generous to those she loved. Her warm presence is still missed  many years later.  She put herself together every single day, hair up, nice clothing and jewelry that matched.  Never stopped cooking for a crowd.   On her last morning, she was in the midst of putting herself together, sat down in a chair in her room, and that was that.   We should all be so lucky.

   As I am getting older I observe others in the generations ahead of me now reaching that old age. There is a big difference in the quality of the lives of those who lived their younger days in a self-absorbed cloud.  Those who shared their lives with others in a generous way, who found nurturing friendships and family relationships to be just as rewarding as nurturing themselves… tend to have more to look forward to each day in their last years of life.  The Golden Years are more golden, enriched by those ties that bind, the friendships and family that were cared for and nourished.  Those relationships remain and they sustain.

   I know from experience it’s a sad thing to witness an old person’s existence after they’ve  lived a full life…. but one that was geared around their needs and wants only.  It seems to me their world becomes so very very small in the end because they did not nurture relationships with others in a way that would render  willingness or want for reciprocation. No real relationships were forged, earned, nurtured, so they don’t exist when they are most important.    Being selfish works while you’re still young and capable.  But what does it look like when you’re old and need  some assistance?  Pretty lonely.

  My advice is not professional, nor am I awesome with all my relationships.  I’ll share with you what I learn as I grow, regardless –  I think it’s important to keep yourself open to the ones you love. Don’t let old baggage hold you back from living fully and including others in the things that are your life.  Care about others, lend a hand when you can… think about things beyond your own existence and your own needs, no matter how frazzled you are with your own troubles, how wrapped up you are in your own triumphs. 

   From what I can see…. It matters.   You reap what you sow.

 

Weary

 Lately I try not to take in too much of the news,  the images that flash before my eyes on the computer screen, the hysteria we call news coverage on the TV set (FOX, you are a disgrace) … nor do  I engage as robustly in conversations about anything relating to current events in our world.    – ok, that last line is gonna take some work, still.

I used to think that was irresponsible, the turning away.

But…my soul is weary.  I feel it to my very core.  There is still the need and want to do something significant that can right the ships, heal the wounded, change the negative behaviors, erase the prejudice, stop the abuses.  At 49 I have not yet found a way to do so significantly, and without the ignorance of my youth I now know the limitations, feel the hopelessness that develops with time and experience.  Like a wet wool blanket.. the realization that I am a drop of water with so little control or power  in an ocean of turmoil.. on so many fronts!.. my soul is smothered with that cold, heavy truth.   Sometimes it feels as if I am traveling with a constant undertow of frustration for things I can’t fix. 

  Last night I walked with my daughter and two of our dogs down a little country lane to the docks where we took in the scene – a serene cove dotted with little cottages, boats bobbing in the water, gulls overhead, the setting sun splaying it’s golden rays over all of it and us –  I breathed deep and stepped in the water, letting the salty air cleanse.. and heal… accept..and let go.

 
 
   I’m not giving up on the idea of helping where I can, and having the big mouth that I do, I doubt I will shut up all together when I feel I need to say something, do something –  but from here on out I am going to try like hell to leave the baggage at the door.  I don’t have to argue every single cause or injustice just because the opportunity presents itself.  Sometimes it’s OK to just let stupid people be stupid. 
 
    None of us knows how much longer we’ve got on this earth, which is in all it’s frailties and dangers, still a wonderful place to be.  This drop of water is going to do the best she can to sail through the changing oceans tides with the best of intentions and hopefully a little less stress.  

  This morning as I type this I’m listening to one of my favorite songs – brings tears to my eyes damn-near every time I hear it… One of my favorites by Stevie Nicks, and now in my middle middle age, it’s my anthem. – Landslide –

Lyrics below

I took my love and took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I’ve been afraid of changing
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older too

Well, I’ve been afraid of changing
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older too
Oh, I’m getting older too

I take my love, take it down
I climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Will the landslide bring you down
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Will the landslide bring you down, oh, oh
The landslide bring you down

It’s a new day, all –  I hope you’re able to get out there and make the best of it.  Thank you, as always, for stopping by This Old House 2 now and again and being a part of my conversations.

 

It’s not Black & White

     Let me start this post with a clear and honest statement.  I believe strongly that I am not a racist.  Racism in this day and age disgusts me.  By now we should know better.  We’ve got a long, ugly history behind us that tells us just how WRONG it is.  It is my opinion, and  perhaps with arrogance I believe it should be everyones opinion, that we are all human beings who deserve our life on this earth to begin and play out without prejudice and judgement that many still base on our ethnicity.  If you are a religious person and you don’t agree,  then you are at the very least, a  hypocrite. God created all equally, right?  He loves all his children?  You believe everything on this planet is his creation, correct?  Explain your view, please,  if you are a racist but you believe in God.  I’m not being sarcastic here.. I want to try to understand you, because I have trouble getting past that particularly irony.

   All that being said,  I’m bullsh*tting you if I don’t come clean and say that if you’re a big person wearing baggy gangsta style clothes that might or might not be concealing a weapon,  with your pants half way down your ass, you’re staring me down with a dead look and a swagger that says –get out of my way, b*tch –  as we walk toward each other on a deserted street,  I’m getting out of your way, quickly.     If that’s how you are presenting yourself, it’s reasonable to assume fear is what you’re trying to provoke, aggression and bullying  is your MO, so you’ll get the reaction you were asking for.  Notice I didn’t say, though, whether you are black or white. A big white dude presenting himself in the same way is going to get the same reaction from me. Maybe even a small white dude.   Am I prejudice against big or small dudes dressed gangsta-like with attitude?  No.. I’m cautious around someone exuding negative aggression, because I’d be stupid not to be.

   We all read about the Trayv*n Martin case, and now the Micha*L Brown story. Both losses are tragic. Neither  young men were armed.  I don’t believe we will ever know the exact sequence of events, emotions, knee-jerk reaction? responses – appropriate or inappropriate that occurred in either of those stories.  We have to rely on eye-witness accounts that are tainted with emotions,  with prejudices of their own. If it was all clear in a video surveillance camera, we wouldn’t have to trust an eye witness. But most often we don’t have that clarity and so those other factors come in to play… emotion… prejudice, fear.

    Regarding this newest case – This is what we know for sure.  MB was a young black man. He was unarmed. He had just acted like a bully and shoved a convenience store clerk around with threatening behavior as he robbed him of a $50 box of cigars. Then he ambled down a public street, blocking traffic, which is what prompted the officer to approach him.  Another bully behavior. Clearly his mindset at that time was that of defiance and aggression.  Did he deserve to die because of it?  Absolutely not. 

   Lets talk about the police officer, who now has the terrible burden of knowing he shot and killed a young unarmed man.  The guy had a solid six year record, no disciplinary issues.   What we know for sure – the young man in question was acting defiantly. He was behaving in the way that dangerous and armed people typically behave… with arrogance, breaking the law.  Given this scenario, the officer is now on high alert for any other signs of something about to go wrong. He is trained to do so.  Experience has taught him that things can go horribly wrong in an instant.   The officer says the young man, when questioned and asked to stop walking down the center of the road, blocking traffic,  tried to grab his gun.  If this is true, really really stupid move on the young mans part.  I call that extreme aggression and the officer had a right to assume the young man was going to try to shoot him with his own gun. The officers life is just as valuable as the young mans and he has a right to protect it.   If it’s not true, and the officer was attempting to pull the kid into his car – (friend of victim, eyewitness claim)… and then the young man just backed up and was shot at repeatedly as his hands were up…. then the officers response was grossly -wrong-.

  Why do we assume the outcome of this tussle would have been different if the young man was white?  Or the officer was black?   Well, statics show that this type of shooting death by an officer occurs much more often when the perp is black.   Is it because there are more blacks doing these type of crimes or does racism play a roll?   I keep wanting to take the color out of the question.  Seems that simple to me.. just take the color out of the question. But I am a white woman who has not had to warn her children that the color of their skin might make them targets of unwarranted bigotry and hate.  That reality exists.

  What makes sense to you?   In this case – Why would the officer pull the young man INTO his car window and start shooting…and then keep shooting as the victim backs away. Keep in mind.. at this time the officer had no idea he was looking at the guy who had just robbed the store. His reaction was based on however that young man presented himself at that very moment.  Just backing away with hands up???      The eyewitness to all this was the victims friend… and accomplice in the robbery at the convenience store earlier.  He’s not going to defend the cop’s judgement and betray his dead friend and implicate himself  for that matter in threatening behavior.   But…  there stands his statement that the kid was just walking along innocently, the officer in question stopped to question him and then just opened fire as he put his hands up, killing him with repeated shots.  I find that last scenario very had to believe.   And it’s not because the young man was black.  When analyzing this picture… it should have nothing to do with his color.  It has everything to do with his known behavior and state of mind before this tragedy occurred. The officers reputation has to count for something too.

Regardless of what anyone believes,  it’s a horrible tragedy all around.  The pain and loss  MBs family is suffering should never have come to be.   A young man is dead who may have needed some discipline but  did not deserve to die, and a  police officer has killed someone and will have to live with that outcome for the rest of his natural life.  I can’t tell you whether racism played a roll. You can’t either.  But as long as we all keep fueling that fire, it’s going to burn long and strong. The people of Fergus*n who are looting among the protesters are only adding  more fuel to that fire.

-Just sayin