life – Page 16 – This Old House 2

The Good in Life

We were invited to share a lovely evening filled with delicious food, great friends,

a gathering of community minded people who I am so blessed

to call friends. Uplifting, it was.

Thank you, Tim & Eileen, for doing that thing that you always do –

Bring people together in such a positive way.

A few scenes around this old house this weekend –

The moon rises as the reflection of the setting sun glows in the family room window…

Bailey naps – always reminds me of my favorite Andrew Wyeth print.

I bet some of you know which one I’m talking about.

We now actually USE this big fireplace since the arrival of the sectional couch in the family room.

Ask me how much I love finally making a good furniture decision.

🙂

My new project, coming along slowly…

original photo above, attempt in oils below…

I hope you are all enjoying a peaceful Sunday –

I’ll be looking toward the Thanksgiving table and menu ideas…

Any suggestions for something new to add to the menu??…

Even an easy appetizer??

leave a link to the recipe below in the comments section if you’re so inclined.

I’d love to hear them.

I saw this on Facebook this morning… and while I do not follow a specific religion or God and I consider myself more of a spiritual person who gives a damn about my fellow humans and animals, I agree with a lot of what he has to say. The Idols we worship today, some of the things we choose to take offense to.. are cringe worthy. Who’s driving this ship, anyway? … So If you’re so inclined, read below…

AN UPDATE TO EARLY POST:…. the following statement is not true, you can visit snopes to see for yourself.. however it has been a widespread rumor, thank you Vickie B. for clearing it up… Apparently the White House refers to Christmas Trees as Holiday Trees now. False statement. But…something prompted CBS presenter, Ben Stein,
to write the following…. .or didn’t. Regardless, I agree.

”

My confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does
not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit
up, bejewelled trees, Christmas trees. I don’t feel threatened. I don’t
feel discriminated against. That’s what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn’t bother me a bit when people say, ‘Merry Christmas’ to me. I
don’t think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a
ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers
and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn’t bother me at
all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near
my beach house in Malibu. If people want a nativity scene, it’s just as
fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don’t like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don’t think
Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think
people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around,
period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an
explicitly atheist country. I can’t find it in the Constitution and I
don’t like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we
should worship celebrities and we aren’t allowed to worship God? I guess
that’s a sign that I’m getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who
are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we
knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a
little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it’s not funny,
it’s intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham’s daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane
Clayson asked her ‘How could God let something like this happen?’
(regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound
and insightful response. She said, ‘I believe God is deeply saddened by
this, just as we are, but for years we’ve been telling God to get out of
our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our
lives.And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out.
How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we
demand He leave us alone?’

In light of recent events… terrorist attacks, school shootings, etc. I
think it started when Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her
body found a few years ago) complained she didn’t want prayer in our
schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible
in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal,
and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn’t spank our children when they
misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we
might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock’s son committed suicide). We
said an expert should know what he’s talking about. And we said okay.

Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they
don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill
strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it
out. I think it has a great deal to do with ‘WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.’

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the
world’s going to hell.
Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the
Bible says.

Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail and they spread like
wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people
think twice about sharing.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through
cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and
workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on
your address list because you’re not sure what they believe, or what
they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us
than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it…. no one will know you did. But, if you
discard this thought process, don’t sit back and complain about what a
bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein”

Takes me back…

You know how sometimes you catch an old tune playing

and it brings you right back to a time long ago…

emotions fill you and you are transported.

It’s true I don’t hear what I used to, but my memory is vivid

and I still catch enough of it to bring it all back – a little miracle,

if you ask me, a saving grace for someone who has always

adored music. I am also grateful that I grew up in a time

when there were so many artists making great music

that can still be heard on the radio today…

One of my favorites…

turn up your volume and click past the ad –

http://youtu.be/8NQ-Bk63Hs8

Lyrics below…

I guess you wonder where I’ve been
I searched to find the love within
I came back to let you know
Got a thing for you
And I can’t let go
My friends wonder what is wrong with me
Well I’m in a daze from your love you see
I came back to let you know
Got a thing for you
And I can’t let go
Some people go around the world for love
And they may never find what they dream of
What you won’t do, do for love
You tried everything
But you don’t give up
In my world only you
Make me do for love
What I would not do
My friends wonder what is wrong with me
Well I’m in a daze from your love you see
I came back to let you know
Got a thing for you
And I can’t let go
And though I only want the best it’s true
I can’t believe the things I do for you
What you won’t do, do for love
You’ve tried everything
But you won’t give up
In my world only you
Make me do for love
What I would not do

Well that sucks

I visited my third hearing specialist this morning, and I wish I could say I walked out of there with a renewed hope for some restored hearing.

My journey began in my late twenties, when a ringing in my ears had arrived and never left. After MRI and CT scan and various other tests, it was established that I was losing my hearing but nothing more significant was occurring, so that part was a relief. About 15 years ago I met with a world renown hearing specialist who sold me a $6,000. pair of inner ear hearing aids, state of the art, that he was sure would give me much relief in the world, and I believed him. When I put then in my ears and he began writing on a piece of paper I instantly began to cry, because I could hear the scratch of the pen on paper. My husband teared up a little too.. and we walked out of his clinic thinking we had solved my hearing loss issues. Shortly after, I discovered not only was the inner ear aid extremely annoying and alittle painful, it was not giving me any clarity in speech, just a whole lot of LOUDNESS, which I didn’t need. After a month or two of trying to make it work… and this is what that specialist told me to do…. give it time… I realized it really wasn’t doing a damned thing. So I tossed them aside and moved on.

The next specialist experience was about eight years ago. He could DEFINITELY help me, hearing aids had advanced. I wanted to believe him too… so I went through the testing again and bought the newest and best digital hearing aid available.. just one this time because I was now deaf in the left ear, no need for an aid. I explained that I needed clarity, not volume, and he said the new aids gave much better clarity. $3,000. later, I walked out the door with a whole lot of loud noise….. but no clarity. After a few aggravating weeks I went back. They said I needed to give it more time. I did. All it gave me were headaches. Put back in the box after three or so months, I gave up once again.

Years passed, and my husband has an ear/nose/throat doctor for his ear wax issues. He has talked to him regarding our frustration with my hearing loss and once again … “How does she manage without hearing aids, send her in, we can definitely help her.” Skeptical, I was, of course. But I made the appointment.

That was this morning. I sit down with him and he looks in my ears and down my throat and up my nose and takes my medical history. He asks all the questions I’ve answered before and then he sends me to the booth for my third or fourth hearing test. The woman giving the hearing test says… now, repeat the word to me when I say it to you. I tell her I will not hear the word she is going to say, what would she like me to do when I don’t know what it is? She says “Why are you taking a hearing test if you can’t hear?”… I say.. I’m here because I am significantly hearing impaired and YOU people are supposed to know why I’m here. I did not put myself in this booth. She laughs and says.. OK lets try it.

Of course, I fail magnificently. New Specialist comes back into exam room afterwards with results and says… “WOW, you are significantly hearing impaired, how do you manage? Jeez, do you read lips? “

um, yes. I told them this when I walked into their office, as I do everywhere I go, so that they will look at me directly when they are talking to me.

Is it me, or is this whole thing just a little… unprofessional… or something. I mean, this is what they do for a living… deal with people who have hearing loss, right? Their reactions, although they were friendly, were a little.. odd? Juvenile? Maybe I’m being too sensitive.

Anyway.. the verdict. ” I have nothing that will help you. Hearing aids should not have been sold to you before, because they will not help the type of hearing loss you have.. you have total speech recognition loss and also volume loss.” So basically I blew $10,000 on hearing aids that were never going to help me decipher conversation in the first place. Insurance doesn’t cover hearing aids, in case you didn’t know. Yeah.. because it’s not deemed a life threatening situation, it’s not covered. It IS life altering, I’ll tell you that.

I ask Specialist No. 3 if there is anything on the horizon I might look forward to someday, and he says point blank … “No”. Just that. Awesome.

The one suggestion he has is to have a consult with a cochlear implant specialist. Now, I’ve heard of them and I’ve seen them, it ain’t pretty, but if it would restore my hearing I might consider it someday. I found out the chances are 50/50, and the noise you do eventually hear is not natural noise. You have to retrain your brain to decipher the NEW noises you would hear, if it actually works. I don’t think I’m up for it. I told Dr. No. 3 I didn’t think I could tolerate the hardware on my skull and in my ear, and he said… “well then I guess you’re not desperate enough…yet”.

More awesomeness.

*sigh* I drove home today with mixed feelings. I already knew most of what he told me, because for years I’ve been telling audiologists that their aids were not giving me any improvement and they were just poo-pooing my rejection of their products. Turns out I was validated, I was right. The attitude of Dr. No. 3 was a bit off putting, for lack of a better way to describe it… but maybe I just didn’t like the news he was delivering. I do think he was being completely honest, if nothing more helpful.

So that leaves me with the same hearing loss frustrations I have known for a while, no definite answers and only one new direction I can take that is pretty drastic with no guarantee. I’m writing about this today not for your pity, because there are so many worse things that can happen to a person and so many people who suffer from this and much more difficult ailments. My purpose for putting this out there is to ask any of you if you have experience, if a relative has experience with this surgical procedure, and what their success rate and comfort level has been.

I’d show you pics of the actual surgery, but it’s gross. TMI for now.

It is what it is.

A little whine and art on All Hallows Eve

Can I admit to you here that I am just a little sad that my

own little trick-or-treaters are now grown and

not doing that stuff anymore?

I miss the dress-up, the crunching leaves under feet with flashlights in hand

while little sneakered feet pad up to the door with candy anticipation

and wide eyed curiosity at who will answer the door and what will be

put in their plastic pumpkin.

Since I’m not getting my kiddos ready for halloween festivities

today and we don’t get many trick-or -treaters out here ..

I took a drive to the only art store in this part of Connecticut, about 45 minutes away,

and wallowed alittle in paint brush purchasing pity.

This mural is on the side of Blicks Art Store in Plainville, CT.

I love it!

Gifts

This is my breakfast on this chilly fall morning…

A healthy bowl of oatmeal, berries and honey (just add hot water )…

I remind myself now and again that not all have the many choices I take for granted, something simple like fresh berries in the fridge to throw over oatmeal stocked in the pantry. Dog food under the sink for four dogs that I can afford to feed. A family to nurture and care for (and swat and yell at when they get out of hand 🙂 Horses and chickens up on the hill that.. yes… have to be fed come rain or shine, and their bedding mucked out and water buckets dumped and refilled, etc. etc… but it’s my choice to add these chores to my day, because I love my critters. Choice… it’s truly a gift.

Their after- breakfast ritual.

Speaking of gifts.. I received these in the mail yesterday from a dear friend who I met years ago now in blogland when I stumbled across her blog while doing a Martha’s Vineyard search. Joan, thank you so much for such a thoughtful “play” on our shared obsession and love for Martha’s Vineyard.

Recently I admired a fellow bloggers craft skills and particularly coveted

a pair of mice. Guess what arrived in the mail soon after…

Diane is one of the most cheerful, upbeat people you could ever be lucky enough to know…

She lives in Florida and I’m pretty sure -sunny disposition- is her middle name.

Thank you, Diane –

The manchild has a new girlfriend and from what I hear from others, she is a lovely young woman. So far, all I have to go by is this photograph and the perpetual smile he’s got on his face – This child of mine tends to hold emotions close to the vest..doesn’t share much and I guess that might be typical of the age. That smile, though, gives it all away 🙂 Another gift.

We’ve got the gift of a Dog Days Adoption Event coming up this weekend,

set up starts tonight – let’s hope we find the gift of 100 homes for 100 shelter dogs –

It’s a new day all – you know the drill.

A Weekend full of Wonderful –

It’s been a long time since I’ve had such an action packed weekend, all in a wonderful way. I was the kind of bone tired last night that you welcome after getting some rewarding work done… out like a light at 8pm, I was. Saturday was filled with meeting and greeting neighbors old and new, catching up with friends and family and getting rid of “stuff” we didn’t need here at this old house. We had a tag sale out front and it was well worth the effort. The weather was a perfect mix of fall foliage with the aroma of fading leaves and pine needles, some sunshine and a little chill in the air. A big thank you to Joleen and Lynn for joining in, it made the day so much more enjoyable.

Sunday I got up bright and early. The girlchild took care of the critters for me so I could head to Hammonasset Beach to photograph the Run For The Cove. A wonderful couple I’ve known for many years founded this organization in, I believe, 1995 and it has grown in ways unimaginable… an incredible source of support for grieving children who have lost a parent or family member.. to learn more about THE COVE center for Grieving Children, visit HERE Again, the weather was fall-chilly-beautiful and oh, how very uplifting these people and this event always are.

The reason I don’t have any adult runner pics available is because I mistakenly hit the RAW

button and shot every image in jpeg and raw, which is a huge file. Guess who filled her

camera card before the event was over, and forgot to bring another.

*sigh*

Thankfully there were other photographers on hand and they assured me they would complete

the photographing with adult runner pics.

Live and learn.

Then it was off to Parmelee Farm in Killingworth to help with the First Annual Pumpkin Carving Party organized by the Parm Farm Steering Committee. Sponsors were the Killingworth Lions Club, Pizzeria DaVinci and the Killingworth Chamber of Commerce. What a fun day! So many families came to participate and the smiles and happy chatter and laughter were a breath of fresh air.

A giant leaf corral bordered by hay bales was a big hit with the littles…

There was some awesome artwork among the pumpkins…

A Big THANK YOU to all who helped make this happen,

and to all those awesome families who came out to LIGHT THE NIGHT!

The Spirit of Community.. .it’s a beautiful thing.

Don’t pass up the opportunities in your area to join efforts like these,

the rewards are endless and so good for the soul.

It’s a new day, all ….

make it a good one.

Moody

Once the family was fed and horses and chickens put to bed,

Frasier and I took a walk around the fields last night behind This Old House.

The setting sun created some beautiful moody hues across the sky…

the moon had a halo…

In this picture you can see the garden has been cleared out for the winter

and is being downsized… fencing has been pulled out and the plot will be smaller next year.

You can also see a little light on in the first floor of the house…

that’s the men watching monday night football.

…another goodnight.

Adjustments, Flexibility, Change

Life is all about adjustments, isn’t it. The structure of that sentence deserves a question mark, but it’s not really a question. Nothing is set in stone, nothing is forever, nothing is permanent, and nothing should be taken for granted, I think it’s safe to say. How easily or begrudgingly we make adjustments – or refuse to make them – determines the flavor and tone of our life’s path. Let’s not leave out the word “flexibility”, of which I am not always the best example.

When I was young, I lived in a busy suburb of the Big City…and I couldn’t wait to make an adjustment. As soon as it was possible, I high-tailed it to the country and have never regretted that decision. Then came marriage and the adjustment of living with someone who is in some ways my polar opposite. Oh, there have been trying times, but over the years the adjustments and some serious flexing on both of our parts have created a life that flows forward most of the time in a satisfying and good way.

When children enter the picture there is a whole ‘nother world of adjustment… all good, in my opinion. Easy? Heck, no. To be a good parent you need to be flexible, sometimes bending in three different directions at the same time, but it’s all worth it. Most recently, I’m trying to accept the idea that just because my children have more options than I had at their age, it doesn’t mean they have to take them. Adjust.
I’m slowly changing the behavior of breathing down my kids necks with
worry, no easy feat. My son said yesterday.. “hey mom, you handled my
late arrival last night pretty well, I appreciate you staying calm,
thank you”. He’s almost 18 and he’s been pretty responsible and
respectful. A little diversion brings him home a little late..on a
school night? Flex. Adjust.

In my late forties, I need to change my habits some to give my body the best chance to carry me another 40 years or so, If I’m very lucky. So I’m accepting that I need medication to help regulate my fluctuating hypertension issues, and I’m tweaking my exercise routine and choosing better eating habits most of the time… (don’t browse my blogs recipe list just now, OK?). I’m also helping my husband jump start his efforts too. Adjust.

Another adjustment at this stage of the game… my parents and relatives are aging, and some dear relatives have passed away. You start to feel your own age progressing as you lose those who you have loved and have played a supporting role throughout your life. My father now needs assistance in various ways. Our relationship has always been a strained one and I’m not honest if I don’t say that there has been resentment and anger in our equation. The bottom line is, now he needs me and I can hold on to that heavy stuff or let it go… Adjust, flex. I’m finding it’s easier on the soul to do so…and he has found a way to appreciate it. He, too, is adjusting.

Friends old and new have taught me that through their own difficult circumstances, whether they are dealing with life threatening or debilitating illness, loss of loved ones, financial troubles, etc… their remarkable ability to adjust, to flex, to accept change and make the best of their life circumstances has allowed them to live a full and rewarding life regardless. Vicky… Dawn… Vickie…. Kate… Hilary… Sally…. Sandra…my own daughter K… and so many more.

Regardless of the specific circumstances, which are different for each of us – We alone are responsible for the flavor and tone of our life’s path. If you don’t like what you’re living, it’s not someone else’s fault, no matter how easy it is to cast blame. I’m figuring out that adjusting, being flexible, being open to change and sometimes being the
catalyst to change.. these are definitely key components to a contented
life.

Change
will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We
are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_change.html#P0Uodh50X7KllLoB.99

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time… We are the ones we are waiting for.. we are the changes we seek.

Fall and falling

I can count on it, you know… enter a discussion that involves politics, whether here on this blog or at the dinner table (MISTAKE, ALWAYS)… and ultimately someone is aggravated. We wonder why the people in Washington can’t seem to get it straight, can’t see the forest for the trees, and yet we underscore it with our own behaviors. I’m guilty as charged. Let me just say this… what irks me most is not the actual politics but the hysteria and prejudice we the people (and that includes the politicians) can’t seem to put aside to just get along and get the f-ing job done.

Onward. Fall has been unusual here in New England. For the past few days we’ve been walking around in tee shirts and flip-flops. Tropical Storm “Karen” (ha ha) looms in the Gulf and we’re feeling the warm humid air from that system way up the coast. The colors in the leaves are not as vibrant as usually but I still love this season….oh, the crunch of leaves underfoot, the smell of wood burning in fireplaces, the crisp open-window-good-sleeping air that has not yet graced us with it’s presence…