Tag: life

When is the last time…

…you made a snow angel?
Built a snow man?
Last night, as we all huddled around the fire
(and the TV and FB via various methods of ipad, iphone, etc)
I stood up and declared I was going outside to build a snowman.
Anyone coming? 
You woulda thought I said I was digging a tunnel to China
with a teaspoon and a thimble. 
However, after a few minutes… 
we were all out in it. 
You’re never too old for this ….

I’ve never had a dog who balled up with snow…
and this is Frasier’s first real snowfall,
being the Southern boy that he is.
He loved the romp in the white stuff! OMG! EXCITING!!!
But not the iceballs after.. or the warm bath to melt them.
I suspect I’ll be rinse-and-repeat-ing all day.
This morning, Smiley doesn’t look so happy.
or maybe he’s just doing his morning yoga.

So.. if you’re one of the lucky ones and you’ve gotten SNOW…
get out there and make a snow angel or a snowman, yes YOU.
Take a pic! If I get a few or more pics, I’ll post them here.

The New Britain Christmas House

   It’s been a sad few weeks around here – horrible tragedies in the news, and my Aunt’s passing in the season she loved most.  I needed something to remind me of the Joys in this world, and Christmas time for me is usually abundant. My cousin posted about a house in New Britain.. the Christmas House… and I knew I had to go.  My daughter accompanied me, with pasta and canned goods in hand for admission… see story exerpts, taken from last years Hartford Courant article, below…

  “Rita Giancola started putting up Christmas decorations in October. Transforming eight rooms, a hallway, a stairway and the front lawn into the region’s biggest Christmas shrine takes time. It’s a labor that Giancola has been doing every year since 1978, and it’s a tradition that she’s determined to keep going.  “I’m never going to retire,” the 87-year-old great-grandmother said. “If I’m 90, I’ll still be doing this.”

By the way… that’s Rita.. in red on the right below…
I didn’t know it till I came home and looked at my pictures.
I missed an opportunity to talk to this wonderful woman!!


Giancola’s rambling Lexington Street house is a landmark for generations of families who show up to see hundreds of Santas, Nativity scenes, plastic snowmen, red-and-green elves — all lit up by thousands upon thousands of holiday lights. The first floor of Giancola’s century-old, three-family house is covered floor-to-ceiling with Christmas décor, dancing angels, mechanical Santa models, ribbons, tinsel, bows and seemingly endless strands of garland.

To get the full tour inside, bring along some nonperishable food donations. Giancola runs an open house for five nights every December to benefit the Prudence Crandall shelter and the local Salvation Army, filling cartons with canned soups, pastas, cereals, paper towels, cleaning supplies and similar items.

Last night’s collection….



She’s lived in the house across from the New Britain Museum of American Art for more than a half century, and recalls that she decorated all the first-floor rooms every year. In 1978, she started the open house and has kept it up ever since. It’s been the topic of a New York Times feature and TV news reports over the years, but Giancola still frets about the chances of few people — and fewer donations.

(members of her family in the kitchen)


“The children’s eyes go everywhere. The grandparents are almost crying with joy,” she said. “People come through and say ‘My parents brought me when I was little’ and now they’re bringing their own children.”


Giancola’s children and grandchildren pitch in decorating the more difficult-to-reach spots, but she figures she still does about 90 percent of the work herself.


“I’m up and down ladders all days,” she said, “and this year I didn’t decorate the second bathroom. I
got lazy.” 

  What an amazing woman.  I have found my Christmas.
Thank you, Rita….

Wings….

  She was a  talented seamstress to begin with. As her family grew, she became not only the thread, but also the fabric of our family and Italian heritage. She brought us all together.  

When I was young and she was able, her house was the center of the Christmas Feast.  Six courses, all prepared for days before the family’s arrival, soup to nuts and everything delicious inbetween.  Sisters and brothers, cousins, uncles, aunts, all together under one roof, gestering wildly with flying hands, laughter… laughter… all because of her efforts.  I couldn’t appreciate it then as I do now… .but I will never forget.  I’m so glad I have told her that over and over again.

   For a while she was my other mother when my own returned to work.  I spent many days playing with spools of thread and bins of buttons,  watching her sew and cook.  There were usually chocolate chip cookies in a tin on the pantry shelf,  sometimes I’d steal a few before lunch.  She’d play my cousins little 45’s for me when they were at school… my favorite?   Sugar, Sugar.. by the Archies.  We’d sometimes dance and twirl on the linoleum kitchen floor. She made my communion dress and knitted my first super cool poncho with fringe, do you remember those?  She always used Ivory Soap at the sink.  The men in our family all worked at Procter & Gamble,  so Ivory was a staple.  I still use it, still the great product it’s always been, …will always remind me of her.

   Several times in recent weeks I have driven down to visit with her in the hospital while she struggled with failing health. When she learned she was terminal, she said.. “I’ve suffered enough” and signed the paperwork so that all would honor her wishes to let it be.  Just days ago we sat around her bed, telling her how much we loved her, asking her questions about the family history, talking about the good times we all shared. She responded when she could find the strength.  We had a pizza party in her room, even spilled some soda.  We talked, we prayed, we cried, we gestered wildly with flying hands..laughter… laughter… and I told her… “you still know how to get the whole family in one room“.

 

My cousins and their wives were so compassionate and kind, the tenderness those two big guys showed their dying mother was heartwarming and heartbreaking.  She must be so proud of the sons she raised.  My Uncle, her soulmate and partner of over 50 years, is heartbroken.  Their continuous bond over the years has been an inspiration,  even their  pissing contests, because ultimately they were still a symbol for all of us of unity ,love and most importantly, family.   

     I struggled with what to say… what DO you say when you know this is the last of your conversations with this beloved person, this beautiful soul who loved you unconditionally,  has given you so much to cherish.  What do you want to leave with that person as they begin the journey to where ever we go when we die…. what do you want to take away?….


Ultimately, the only words that really matter are… I love you.

Rest in Peace, Aunt Virginia.
You were truly one of Gods gifts to us all.

This and that

Whether you like the President or not,
I think he did a good job of saying what needed to be said last night.
His horrified grief has been evident in the wake of this tragedy
 and he’s been a comfort to those families, if there is such a thing.
 I hope he gets the cooperation he needs to make some changes here.
I have never doubted his strong desire to help those in need.
Whether you agree with his politics or not,
I think he’s proven that again and again.
We spent a quiet weekend at home.. work around the farm on Saturday,
cooking, eating and napping on a rainy Sunday – 
Time spent as a family, no hectic schedule, my favorite kind of day. 
All too soon, the chicks will have flown the coop
and you all have heard my -woe is me- drivel already about the
whole Empty Nest thing.
I’ll take what I can get 🙂
I’m happy to report my daughter and her horse Max are the perfect fit…
He takes great care of her and she spoils him daily.
Folks at the barn say he’s never looked better..
“how do you get him so shiney? Is he on supplements?”
..and she says.. yes, OCD!
(she’s not kidding… just saying)
On Saturday morning – a cooooold New England morning –
she and my niece, visiting from Florida, took a lesson together.
When I arrived at the barn at 8:30 am to take a few pictures,
the frost covered the fields
and the horses breath hung in the air.

I knew my niece with her Florida blood
would feel like a popsicle stick by the time she was done riding.
She was a trooper.
I also made my friend Tim’s mother’s Sand Tart
christmas cookie recipe.
I’m telling ya, there’s no better cookie.
The secret ingredient that I didn’t find in any other sand tart recipe…
is the icing.
Thank you, Tim. I’m dropping off a sample to your house
and you can tell me how I did.

It’s a brand new day, all.  A gift, each and every day.
Make it a good one.

The weight of it

 What to post today… anything seems trivial, especially holiday cheer,  when I can’t get the thought of all those families in Newtown, all those bodies at the morgue….out of my head.   All those funeral arrangements to be made just before what is normally a joyful family holiday.  Their gifts are probably wrapped and hidden in closets or under the tree.  The weight of the loss just beginning to crash like waves in the hearts of those affected…

Father of 6 year old Emilie Alice, Robbie Parker –  has a message for the family of the gunman who killed his daughter and 19 of her school mates.

“I can’t imagine how hard this experience must be for you, and I want you to know that our family and our love and our support goes out to you as well,”

He’s a better man than I.

Ofcourse, the shooters mother is dead, by the hands of her son and her own guns. I don’t think any of this guy’s family saw it coming either. Details will surface.. but how can anyone ever truly believe their child is capable of such horror.  And yet it happens.  You almost always hear later.. there were signs along the way.

People all over are using this tragedy to bolster their causes… “SEE??… that’s why we need tighter gun control”…or…  “Where was GOD when this happened?  They don’t allow GOD in schools anymore, remember?”…. 

My personal take? I hate guns. I do think they are necessary in the hands of the right people and for the right reasons. There-in lies the biggest problem.  There’s no real way to keep them out of the hands of the idiots who will use them for evil. And there will always be those idiots.  There’s no way to known when a slightly unstable or mentally ill mind will snap.   Making it harder to get guns might deter some, but honestly if a deranged person has it set in his mind that he’s going to plaster innocent childrens bodies across a classroom to soothe his hatred or make his mark in this world, he’s gonna find a way to do it without any of our permission. 

 Whether prayer was allowed in school or not would not have deterred him either. The saddest truth of all is, there is probably nothing that could have been done to prevent this… no real way to know it would happen. There will always be evil in the world and people who will execute it. 

  What alarms me the most?… it seems to be happening more and more frequently. In so many ways, the integrity of the people of this world is beginning to self-destruct.

  SO! What to post today? Surely there are enough of us out there to offset the evil.  Many of my fellow bloggers and readers do just that on a regular basis. Let’s counter the evil with plenty of good will – and whether religion is a part of your life or not,  send healing thoughts out into the universe, say a prayer in whatever form has meaning for you –  for those all over the world who are hurting today.

 In this… I wholeheartedly believe.

Finding it

   This year I’m reading so many blog posts, FB posts and articles that indicate  many people feel the holiday season is one big colossal stress inducing hassle.  A frequent complaint is  – having a hard time getting into the spirit of things.  Ah, the key right there… It’s the SPIRIT OF THINGS that should be foremost in our hearts and minds, not the spending of money we may not have, the headache of planning around difficult family issues and logistics, the stress of trying to get it all done.  Commercialism puts a damper on the whole thing, too.

     There are ways to simplify- If  the annual big family gathering and meal at your house has you spinning out of control, make it a potluck – the menu is varied and interesting, no one is responsible for an entire meal, and everyone feels like they’ve contributed, bringing their one prized dish to share. Or, scale down the crowd… invite  just a handful of family or friends and relax. 

    Regarding gift giving, a small thoughtful gift holds just as much meaning, if not more, than a more elaborate and expensive item you could buy at a store.   Have you taken a photo that a particular person would cherish?  Frame it and wrap it.  They’ll cherish it always and it doesn’t break the bank.  Are you a baker?  Make a batch of that favorite cookie Aunt Margaret used to have at the holiday table, tie the recipe onto the bow. Awesome for family recipes handed down to other family members.  If only my grandmother were still alive, I’d ask her for that unbelievably delicious cream puff popover recipe. I’ve never had them so good since.

    Missing a loved one who is now departed?  Volunteer for an organization you know they would approve of, or make a donation of any size in their name.  It’s a way of honoring them that you can feel good about and you are contributing to the world in a positive way. That always feels good.

  No time for all this nonsense?  Then cut yourself some slack and just let it be.  There are many little things you can do to find the “Spirit of the holidays”… Take a walk through a “Christmas lit” neighborhood on a snowy night- hear the silence and the sound your footsteps make in the snow. On Christmas Eve, imagine all the excitement the children feel as they drift off to sleep,  one eye open should they hear the sound of hoofbeats on the roof.   Don’t be so hurried that you can’t smile at the checkout clerk at the grocery store and wish him/her a happy holiday.  Do the same to anyone you lock eyes with  as you walk out to your car.  It’s amazing, what a small and brief encounter like this can do for the soul.

   I don’t talk about religion here, only  because I’m not religious in an organized or specific sense of the word, although I was raised a Catholic.  I do believe I’m a spiritual person, and some say that’s a cop out.  I find my religion in being kind whenever possible and helping out where I can in different ways. Being a part of solutions, instead of adding to problems.  I’ve asked myself frequently… do I add to this world in any way to make it a better place, or am I always taking?  The holidays bring this reflection into sharper focus for me and right now I’m pleased with my progress.   That, I’m finding, is a gift.

  Speaking of gifts, my friend Tim has given me a detailed description of his mother Loraine’s Sand Tart Christmas Cookie recipe.  He gave our family a sampling of them last year and words fail me in describing just how buttery-sugary-mouthwatering delicious these cookies are.  I’d never heard of sand tarts until that sampling of his family tradition cookies, I’ll let you know how they turn out under Tim’s carefully guided directions.  This recipe is a gift I will always treasure –

                                             This ceramic basket was made by my Aunt V…

the one hospitalized on Staten Island.. still.
When I was leaving the hospital, she made my Uncle run out to catch me
(no easy feat for him!)
He told me to stop by the house and pick up this basket,
which she wanted me to have.
She has always been a creative and crafty person,
also the glue that held our italian family heritage together.
I will always cherish this piece, made with her hands…
So… what brings the Holiday Spirit to you? 
Are there traditions you count on and nurture?
PS. I’d share Tim’s Sand Tart recipe with you all,
but then I’d have to kill you.
Sorry.

Floored and Decked

 I’m still floored by the mess that is the Staten Island shore.. since that post, and pics I put on FB, I have heard from a few of my Staten Island friends… people I went to school with… who are telling me the Red Cross isn’t even a presence there, nor is the Salvation Army.  The people affected are basically relying on the help of neighbors and people who are willing to go down there and help clean up, bring supplies, cook on outdoor grills and feed the masses.   Staten Islanders taking care of their own.  WHERE THE HECK IS EVERYONE????   Bring our troops home then, let them help where we need them most… AT HOME!… How about prisoners who are not violent offenders… let them come.  Heck, there are enough police officers on the street corners to keep watch. 

I saw Fema tents (see pics in yesterdays post)… but there were only a few cars parked there, and the only activity I saw was the junk heap backhoe and excavator.  NO where, did I see anyone else helping, other than desperate bone tired residents.  Is this going to be another Katrina disaster?  I sure hope the people of Staten Island are screaming at officials to send in aid. 

Anyway…

Seems kinda frivolous to post pictures of This Old House decked out in holiday finery, knowing that just two hours down the turnpike there are many hardworking folks without heat, water or a bed to sleep in today.   I need to get my head out of the wreckage though, so here we go…

Mike and crewmember Frank putting lights on the tree..

Wreaths up…
Tree trimmed..
My favorite ornaments are those made by my kids
when they were little…
I always place small poinsettias at the kitchen window
A decked dog
…and Lots a lights

 I hope as the holiday season decends, we all find there is still peace on earth, helping hands when needed, and a bounty of good will . These are the gifts I would give every soul on the planet if only it were possible. The irony is, these things are free. We can give of them easily if only every one of us would try.    

Seasons Greetings, All –

The Face of Devastation

   My mother and I returned to our Hometown yesterday.  I braced myself for a visit with my Aunt, who is very sick and currently recuperating in hospital from emergency surgery.  Throughout my life she’s been a strong and loving presence and to see her so weak and in pain was heartbreaking.  Prognosis is still vague, more tests needed, quality of life questionable.

   The face I was not prepared for, the face of total devastation… was the south shore of Staten Island itself.  The hospital sits on the outskirts of the destruction.   Hurricane Sandy did a real number here, a place that has never known this kind of horrific storm or massive flooding.  So many of these are the homes of the blue collar working class of New York.  Block after block… hundreds of homes.. destroyed.

 The air is heavy with “debri pollution”.. a light smog of destruction dust is everywhere.

 People wear surgical masks on the street, there are cops on every corner.  NYPD helicopters circle the area and squad cars patrol the streets.  While people await insurance inspections, repair work,  etc… they sleep outside in their cars because they are not allowed to occupy their homes, too dangerous. Stickers mark the houses that are livable, condemned or restricted use (you can come and go to get your stuff, but you can’t live here).

 Black mold has taken over the first and second floors of homes  that  otherwise look like they might have survived the worst damage.  There are people shoveling soot away from their steps, piling trash out in the streets… I don’t know how many are getting help and I don’t know when or who will pick up all that trash.  On a Monday afternoon, all I saw were cops standing guard and residents scraping at the remains, tossing things to the curb.

FEMA Tents…
trash heap next to the tents…
It  almost seems an impossible task, the rebuilding of these neighborhoods. Most who lived here and lost their homes cannot afford to rebuild in this area. Word on the street is, the vultures have already begun to swoop in and offer money for what will be considered prime waterfront community lots. These modest homes were once a little slice of affordable heaven near the shore and just across from the Big City where many worked.  They’ll be forced to relocate and those with greater resources will take it over. 
I hope the word on the street… is wrong. 

It is what it is

 We are enjoying some glorious weather…. and this week the glory continues so I plan to do some  dog walking on the beach (which did not see as much destruction on Ct’s coast as last year’s Hurricane Irene).

 The guy and I ventured out yesterday, as did many others… it was great to see so many people in good spirits, faces up to the sun and out over the water, marveling at the beauty of the day.

 Now that the election is over, flared tempers have subsided and tension has eased at This Old House… I think we like each other again …..

It’s all good.