Thankfully, not ours to make. But I can’t help thinking about the situation that is plastered all over the media. I’m referring to the 13 year old girl who was declared brain dead after a tonsil surgery that went horrible wrong.. somehow. The details are unclear, but the end result is the body of a young teenage girl being kept in a state of non-decay by a machine that pumps air into her lungs, keeping her heart beating. There is no question there has been no brain activity, no blood supply to her brain for quite some time now. There is no refuting the cold hard fact that there is no hope for her to revive where there will be any kind of function at all. And yet her family will not let her go.
Understandable, the horror of losing a child in such an unexpected and tragic way. I hope I never know the awfulness of having to make the decisions before them. I give no validity to the sincerity of the lawyer who currently stands beside them to fight their fight, however…and he has quite a lot to say. If he were hired by the hospital releasing her, he would be singing a different tune. For him it’s all about the money, the case, the prestige. I wish all lawyers had a little more class. Something integral in that profession gets lost in translation, not meaning to insult the good honest lawyers out there by any means.
There was a similar case years ago – that of Terry Schia*o – you might remember that one too. I thought it was a tragedy to let that poor woman languish in a facility for all those years, and I understood her husbands desire to let her go. I don’t believe he was being selfish. I think he was truthful when he said his wife was a vibrant life-loving person who would never want to lay in a vegetative state for so many years. Her parents felt differently and fought tooth and nail to keep her alive, but her quality of life was nothing more than lying in a bed. No food enjoyment, no recognition of family members, no book reading or comprehension of any sort. This child now being transferred to a facility that will continue her body’s care is in less than a vegetative state.
I’ve talked to my family about this very difficult subject, and I’ve let them know I would never want to be kept in a vegetative state if there was no real hope for recovery. That is not life, that is not living. And that would not be the way I’d want to be remembered or burden my surviving family. My husband feels differently.. he would want months and months to go by so that it is certain that all hope for recovery is lost. These conversations are not pleasant, but they are so important to have. Ofcourse, no one ever wants to think that you should have these conversations with a 13 year old.