Author: admin

A bag of split peas

       I rushed through the isles grabbing this and grabbing that while trying to remember what my Dad needed at the -home- and what my family needed at the homestead.  I felt the usual irritation rising at the prospect of another visit there to drop the stuff off, which was probably driving the rush down the isles (it wasn’t necessary, the hurriedness…. nor was the irritation if I’m being truthful).  I pulled into a checkout line and flipped through the e mail on my phone until it was time to unload the “stuff” onto the belt. I did it with stealth speed, true thing.

      Then I noticed her.  An older woman who looked like she had seen hard times for sure.  She held a single item in her hands, a bag of split peas.  If I had bothered to look around just a little, I would have seen that she had been behind me.. with one item. Although she was waiting patiently, I surely would have let her go ahead of me, had I noticed anything besides my own hurriedness  in that few moments.  When our eyes met, I apologized for not having realized she had just one thing and I surely should have let her go ahead of me.  She was kind with her response, indeed.  No irritation in HER stance.   I had the cashier add her one little bag to my total and said Merry Christmas.  I almost felt foolish doing so, but let me tell you …..

  It may as well have been a bag of gold.  Her eyes lit up as if she could not believe her good fortune at having a simple bag of split peas paid for by a stranger.

One.. Simple.. Little.. Thing.

She has no idea, but she taught me something and she made my day.  Hell, she made my Christmas.  Her face.. her gratitude.. over something so.. little!…

And just like that, my day was turned around.

It’s All Good.

Randomocity

  So tempted to talk about the pathetic list of presidential candidates and their debate behavior, but none of us need another one of those rants right now, do we. Something that irks me more than even Donald Trumps in-your-face obnoxious behavior?  Get religion out of politics.  It does not belong there.  Your religion is not my religion is not their religion. Any of your religious beliefs should not hold law making or program cutting weight.  Enough said.

 
     We’re having a Christmas Eve gathering here of family and friends, and I’ve been making batches of cookies to set out as a big platter with the desserts.  Two new fun things I tried, and they are no bake .. so easy to make, pretty .. and most importantly delicious.

Christmas confetti Truffles….  recipe HERE.

Chocolate covered oreos with crushed candy cane topping.   No recipe. All you do is buy a package of oreos, two bags of Hersheys Special Dark Chocolate chips for baking, etc.  and crush some candy canes. Melt the chocolate in a pot or the microwave, dip the oreos in the melted chocolate to coat them and place on wax paper, sprinkle with the crushed candy canes and allow to dry and harden before putting in tupperware in freezer or refrigerator until ready to serve.  THEY ARE DELICIOUS!

     

  An update on my father – He has settled in to nursing home life as well as can be expected.  He did take a fall a few weeks back and cracked his hip – was walking around unassisted with his door closed, two no-nos they have asked him not to do and he fell into the door.  A week later after pin insertion surgery at the hospital, he was back at the home and is once again not listening to care instructions.   He complains constantly about the food, which is actually very good considering it’s a care facility – and when I bring him something different to eat it’s not the right thing and he would rather have had something else.  The something else is not right the next time.  

I have stopped getting angry. That’s a big step for me.  Finally I see that all his issues have nothing to do with me. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.   It must be very lonely, living in a self that is so –  self centered.  I am glad I don’t know what life is like for someone who doesn’t look beyond their own being, their wants, their ideas… to the vast and interesting and enriching world and relationships that are before us all.

His loss.

 I’ve been running a lot of errands for the holidays and this… this is the face I get when I walk out the door with my Jeep keys in hand….

 Frasier is my rescue dog. I’m telling you.. there is no greater love.  

 Speaking of which, we’re holding an adoption event in Cromwell, CT this weekend for two dogs that have been in a CT shelter and now foster for a while.  We’d love to get them a home for the holidays at last.  If you’re local and interested, go meet Dottie and Nanny  this weekend!

Boys in the Trees

   If you’re my age or older you’ve  probably sung along to at least a few Carly Simon tunes in your younger  mad-love angst-ridden years.  I’ve always loved her music, and that of her famed ex-husband James Taylor too.   Until now I only imagined what their (story-book?) life must have been like as a couple and always thought it a tragedy that they weren’t able to keep it together for a long and at least sometimes happy marriage.  Having never really delved into the whys of their break-up, I just enjoyed the music and hoped for a reunion someday, if not as a couple, then an extremely talented duo who’ve brought so much soul to  music over the years.  One of my all time favorites is a concert Carly gave on the Vineyard Haven docks, Marthas Vineyard.  Not just because I love that island with all I’ve got, but it was her best most natural performance in my opinion, in a place she loves and calls home.  You felt it if you were watching.

   I just read Carlys newly released memoir, Boys In The Trees –  what  in my opinion appears to be a thoroughly honest, (sometimes embarassingly so!)  heartfelt account of her life story. That era was just before my coming of age so I wasn’t fully aware of the movement in the music world back then, but.. wow.    To say I had no idea is an understatement… and for those who want to read it I won’t spoil your read by putting the contents here.  Some of the artists are still entertaining today, it’s an interesting look back.

  Two things I can tell you without spoiling too much.  James Taylor does not speak of or to Carly Simon.  He pretty much “erased her”, in her  words in interviews, after their early 80’s divorce, although she only eludes to this in the book.   She treats him fairly here, but honestly.  Which is to say she doesn’t sugar coat their problems at all –  hers or his.   His heroin addiction since his teen years and chronic infidelities made him pretty much non-present in their ten year marriage and he owns up to it in subsequent interviews too, so it’s not bull.  Her anxiety and  insecurities stemming from the non-approving relationship she had with her father made her disfunctional and accepting of really poor treatment and low self worth, which ruled the landscape of her life for so very long.

      While it’s clear JT suffered depression and the ills of a substance abuser, I still can’t help but like him a lot less now.   Hard to believe the man who wrote and sang so many soulful songs of longing and caring and love and loss is the one who now thoroughly cuts out such a significant partner of his earlier days – one who stood by him when he needed love most.  His children should matter to him more than that.   He actually describes himself as a self absorbed artist who wasn’t fully present for his first set of kids or his first marriage.    

    I guess some habits never die.   You’re so vain, James, and the song wasn’t even about you.

Santa came to town….

  I’m going to share with you some photos from our local Chamber of Commerce “Christmas at the Farm” event yesterday at Parmelee Farm.  Santa came for a visit, and I have to say, one of the highlights of my holiday this year is  getting to take some of their photos.. their reactions were priceless and all over the map… it brought all the  – childhood awe- of the holiday front and center – I don’t know about you, but the jolly old fella scared the crap out of me when I was young.  My son wanted nothing to do with him either, although we admired him from afar and always made sure to leave cookies and milk and grass and treats for the reindeer come Christmas Eve.

 Do you recognize this guy talking to Santa about predicted  flying sleigh travel weather for Christmas Eve?…. I’ve gotta tell you, considering he’s from one of the biggest political dynasties of our time, you’d never know it.  Ted Kennedy Jr. is one very warm and down-to-earth person who really gives a damn about the average Joe, and especially those with disabilities.  It’s refreshing, just that.

  Have I told you lately?… just loving this season for so many reasons.  Those kids above? yeah. That.  Why do we forget it?  Let’s not…  And Liz Jones?  I just received your lovely note, thank you.   This post is for you –


 Susan Branch Christmas Art

Decked again…

   We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and  I hope you all did too. Come friday, as promised, I hauled Christmas out of the basement.   I even trekked out to the grocery store forgetting it was THAT DAY…. and boy let me tell you… if you’re one of those who enjoys Black Friday Insanity…. I just don’t get it.  People lose all sense of – sense- from what I can see. Everyone looks stressed and in a hurry, piles of “stuff” are being sifted and sorted and tossed, you have to park two miles from where you’re actually shopping (well it seems like it) …and … the crowds!!!….Took me fifteen minutes to get past the outlets, just to DRIVE BY them!  There were four cops on traffic duty too where there normally are none. One of them was my nephew, waving the traffic by as I hoped he wouldn’t be hit by one of the impatients.

     So ….Christmas at our house this year – I left some things down in the basement and bought a few new things just to change it up some.  If I were very wealthy I would change the whole theme every year because there are so many ways to decorate and I love them all!  (almost).  My grandmother had a large white christmas tree she put in the bay window for all to see – one year she had all red decorations, another it was all blue.  Sounds gross, right?  It was just gorgeous.   For years now I’ve tried to soften the tree with pastel glass ornaments, I do love them… but… when I decked the tree this year with all that pastel.. it just didn’t say Christmas.  I took a step back… had the men folk come in and give their opinion.. and asked.. what’s missing??… what .. is … missing?

     The husband said – to me…  Christmas is GOLD and RED and GREEN.

     That’s it.

      (Lord help me)  I could see his vision.  And the garland looked like it was strangling the tree, truth be told.   Off came the pastel stuff and the garland with the choke-hold, and I had a field day with GOLD and RED and GREEN.  I sprinkled red berries among the branches too.  While a real tree is ideal, with four dogs who might drink the poisoned water from a real tree (pesticides) , we fake it.

   Pardon the crap photos… I’ve gotten lazy with the iphone.

 

Chocolate covered oreos… is there anything better?….
We’ve changed up the furniture in the “keeping room” of This Old House…
The kitchen table used to be up against that window.. 
(hence the light fixture in weird location) 
and those chairs were next to the fireplace.
We switched them and love the flow of the highly used
living space now and those chairs actually get use. 

Mantel simply decked this year… and lit with tiny white lights at night
 Kitchen window
I’ve got a thing for old fashioned bottle brush trees…

Notice the two automatic foot warmers installed at the 
base of the bed. 
The kids did the outside this year….nice job, guys! 
Since it’s the season where folks return to their roots to
visit with family and friends…  Our sons GF was out on the eve before Thanksgiving
catching up with  friends who also hale from this area. 
Guess who they were chilling with…
If you aren’t a music fan, that’s Nick Fradiani  (last year American Idol winner) 
on the left, our Kenz, one of her friends, 
and are you a Patriots fan?  Camille is a former Pats cheerleader 
and Gronk’s current GF. 
I love Nick… after all he’s been to and through, he’s still just
a down to earth  home town boy.  Way to go, Nick. 
 Happy Holiday Season, All. 
If you’re posting your holiday stories, traditions, decorations,
leave the link to your post in the comments section.
I’d love to share it – 
P E A C E

Of Turkeys and Trees

   I do love Thanksgiving, the sentiment, the food, and I don’t want to be one of those who skips right over it because of the importance of being thankful .. grateful…  But my truth is it marks the beginning of  the Christmas season I love even more.
   I love holiday lights on a hushed snowy night.  I love seeing candles in my friends and neighbors windows.  I love christmas cookies and christmas trees and ornaments and wreaths on doors and Charlie Brown specials on TV – I love finding or making meaningful or useful gifts for my family.  I love trying a new recipe and making some of the old favorites.  I love finding silly things to put in the kids stockings (they are 26 and 19 and I still stuff their stockings)    I love that my kids love our traditions and I hope they keep them through the years and pass them down  in whatever ways hold the most meaning to them.  
    Some of you may think I’m missing the most important thing. The reason for the season in the first place.  Well, I’ve made no secret of the fact that I am not religious.  What I know is that I don’t know, and so I go about this holiday in the spirit I think it is intended whether you are a religious person or not… the spirit of caring, of giving, of sharing, of hope and joy and a wish for peace and good will toward all.
      This week I will gather with family and we will eat and laugh and drink and probably bicker as well.  But we will be together – Amen.
     Come Friday – I’m hauling out Christmas.  

     Happy Thanksgiving, all –

Home

     Something I have always believed in is how important it is to put effort into making your home a place of respite, a refuge, a welcoming space. My grandmother had a small house that she made so warm and inviting for family and friends and I appreciated it even as a child.
      We can’t control what goes on outside but whatever we face, being surrounded by things we love and feeling embraced when we walk in the door is so important. That doesn’t have to mean -money- or big elaborate spaces. A collection of beach rocks….feathers found on woods walks… The kids art projects, dog toys heaped in a big basket,  etc… All free, all add warmth and meaning. Choosing colors you find soothing or energizing for wall paint, sheets, pillows, etc. goes a long way and doesn’t break the bank. Switch up the furniture in a room, gives a whole new feel. Sometimes it gives the furniture a whole new purpose. 
     In my frustration over the horror show that is the news, I’ve taken a look around the house and de cluttered some, switched up furniture, bought a half price sale rug and put it in the bathroom. Feels like rejuvenation without spending much at all. Feeling down? Take a look around and de clutter, swap around, add a color. It’s good for the soul.
     The road home is more enjoyable when you know you’re landing in a place of peace. I wish that for all of you – 


This area held the kitchen table until a few days ago when we moved it over to the fireplace and swapped this stuff into the space instead. Now those chairs are actually getting used
and the kitchen table is in a more open and inviting space.  
It all works so much better now and it looks like we did the place over. 
More pics soon… 
Oh, what a half price sale rug can do for a bathroom… really
warmed it up.  And those two little topiary trees…
you wouldn’t think to put them in a bathroom but they
add just the right non-bathroom  anti-antiseptic touch. 
My Christmas Cactus haven’t even waited for Thanksgiving this year…



the boyz in raincoats…

Bailey with the look thats saying –  “Nooo, really? Now? But I’m comfortable, mom.”  – 
 not wanting to give up her perch so I can change the bedding… 

         The holiday season is upon us and I’m looking forward to sharing food and laughs and stories with others and I pray for peace to blanket the earth, for sanity and Good to trump all else. One can always hope.  As always, thanks for stopping by.

-CLICK –

       At 50 I’m still learning, still growing up  ( and out, just ask my jeans)… but this, I know, is true – you’re never to old for personal growth.. just have to be open to it.  For me that  means letting go of a few things and owning up to a few others.

        Who among us hasn’t experienced  anguish, stress, anger, disappointment, anxiety, loss, regret, embarrassment,   pain – both emotional and physical.   It’s part of the experience of living, can’t be avoided.  The key is to roll with it, not let it consume you, not let it waste the “precious”…… the time we have to enjoy the things that mean the most.  What that is to each of us is probably very similar even in it’s differences.  It’s the little things, the things we might easily put aside if we let the negatives consume us, that can enrich us the most and help us find balance.
       
     One of my pure joys –  I take a lot of pictures.  Remember the little boy in the movie Sixth Sense and his famous line….. “I see dead people”.    If you’re a shutterbug, you know what I mean when I say… ” I see Pictures” … everywhere I go.  Meaning, I see things I want to capture, hold on to, stash in the memory file because I love them so…. in the slant of light on fallen leaves… in the regal stance of my dog on a stump in the field…. in the red hues of the trees behind my red horse.  You get the picture…

….because she looooooooves her cat. 

                            … I get to walk this lane daily… in all seasons its a beautiful thing…

…these halloween geeks.. I love them so. 

   So go.. take pictures mentally or physically, see the beauty in all that is around you. It’s there in the steam off your morning coffee… in the light slanting through your windows, in the crayon scribble masterpiece your toddler left on the newly painted wall,  in the smile from a stranger just because… in the “thank you” your father mouthed as you turned to leave.    –   CLICK  – 

Anger and letting it go

   You all  know I’m opinionated and vocal about it if you’ve been reading here for a while.    I’m getting tired of it.  Quite frankly, it’s not good for me.  The experience with my father that has me dismantling his previous life has put me on edge in a way that isn’t healthy for anyone.   I’ve been at odds with my mother on a few things relating to my dad, my husband for the same reason,  The lawyer I thought I should use for Title 19 issues then realized that was so unnecessary for a heck of a lot of money –  My kids are just there and are probably feeling my frustrations as well, although they have nothing to do with it really.  I took one of my dogs for a walk last night to unwind and I found myself snapping at him just a little too sharply when he strayed too far up the trail.  Like maybe five feet too far.  *SNAP.

  That’s when I said… Whoa.  Who is this.  What are you doing here, Karen.  Is this how you want to be?  Is this what you want to feel every waking moment?  Life is too short. LET. IT. GO.    And what are you holding on to, exactly…. do you even know?    How often have we all heard that simple concept.   Let It Go.

   Even though I said those things to myself last night…. I again found myself aggravated this morning about something that’s not all that important in the grand scheme of things.  And to be honest.. I was just about to type the offense and my defense at the unjust behavior here in this post.  But again… it really does come back to… do I want to feel this way?  These things are gonna happen in life… it is what it is.  People have issues, people struggle. They react because of their own baggage, usually has nothing to do with those they react to unjustly,   Do I let it consume me or do I LET IT GO.

   Hard, hard thing… this kind of change, and yet it seems like it should just be so simple.

   So here I go again… I’m going to try like hell to Let It Go.. and just be and do and see and hear and BREATHE.   Maybe -feel- with a little less hurt and a little more empathy.

   Speaking of which – Update on my Dad –  he is settling in at the nursing home – a good and upbeat one by most standards.  He is subdued, and sits most hours of the day in his lounge chair stairing at the TV in a dark room.  We introduced him to a few very nice men who live at the same facility.  He has yet to reach out,  but he might at some point.  He has a beautiful window that he keeps drawn closed.  My hope is that he finally learns to reach out and expand his life to include others in a way that will enrich his own.    Is it the ending to a life story he would choose?  No.  But he steered the ship to where it landed and I’m doing the best I can to make his ship-ashore experience a comfortable one.  Although our relationship was a strained one, it really does feel good to do right by someone, for no other reason than to know that you are showing some mercy, compassion,, doing some good.

   I think.. I hope.. I actually pray… that I am finding my way there.  Suddenly it feels like it.  Thank you for all your kind words. I so appreciate each of your perspectives. We all live a similar and yet different experience coming from all different places and sharing those things opens us up to a bigger perception.    Amen.