How cool is that!

    I know a girl who knows a girl who lives down the street from the newest American Idol!!!… somehow that doesn’t excite you, does it.  

   So here’s the deal –  we’ve ALL had the Fradiani Fever thing going on for a while now because he hails from our shoreline and everything and everyone is all  YAY NICK!!!  Storefronts have banners, restaurants are having parties, I’m sure drinks will be named after him in the local bars. …. OUR HOMETOWN BOY!!!…as if he’s actually our son or cousin or BFF since nursery school or ex boyfriend who we still get along with just fine.  (oh, but don’t we WISH!)

   I get it, I do. I think he’s really talented and a very nice young man and wow, what a thing to happen to someone.   The irony?  Just six months ago he was walking through town like the rest of us, just a regular Joe.   Now?  The girls scream when they see him.   My daughter works on the green where he held a hometown concert last week. You may have seen it on TV if you follow AI.   He was arriving at four with a parade and then the concert. I had to drive her in to work because employees were already told there would be nowhere to park. I saw the lines forming at noon.  WOW.

 26 years ago we were married in a church on this beautiful historic green.   What an awesome place to kick off his new life with his hometown crowd…….

 Wishing you the best of luck, Nick Fradiani!   Gee, your parents sure look familiar.. I think we shop the same days at the Big Y.  Maybe we’re cousins!  ðŸ™‚

 

Out on the front porch…

…there is a little bird.  She has built herself a lovely little well-protected nest on the  porch light.

I love her choice of nest material… the remnants of last years perennials
from the backyard. 

I did not discovery the nest early enough to photograph wee little eggs…
But alas, there is this – 

 

Justice?


   Chances are you haven’t been able to completely avoid the fiasco in Baltimore, even if you’re making a concerted effort.  What a tragedy in so many ways.   At the heart of it is a supposed long standing divide between Police officers and young men of the black community.  There is no trust, they say. Cops are suspicious right off the bat, they say.  We’re angry.. they say.   I don’t doubt that’s a factor.   How can it not be.  But lets be totally honest,  look at the statistics.  Who did you see in the news footage looting, robbing, destroying. Who was running from burning buildings to their cars with armloads of clothes, sneakers, pharmaceuticals?  Who torched 144 cars, destroyed 19 businesses? Set their city back at least five years?    As for the young man who’s death caused the protests in the first place? He had a rap sheet a mile long, he was a narcotics dealer among other things.  Was his death a tragedy?  Unless you’re Adolph H*tler or cut from similar cloth, any death is a tragedy.  But how much can we ask of our police officers?   If you’re not breaking the law, not running from the law, not known for drug and stolen property arrests for years on end, chances are you’re not going to die at the hands of a police officers.  It’s that simple.  I’m not denying there have been times when we’ve all heard a story where too much force was used and a tragic death occurred.  Some people shouldn’t be cops. That’s true of any career choice.  Weed out the few, but don’t condemn the whole.  And I hope there will soon be body cameras that do not interfere with an officers capabilities so that their actions can no longer be questioned, and the few rogue cops out there will be identified and lose their status. 


   M talked to one of our friends, an officer who has been at it a long time.  This is what he had to say about the current issue.  ” When we are dealing with a person who is high on drugs, and most of those who are committing a crime or selling dope ARE high on their preferred substance… they are ten times stronger than the average man while on the drug.  They fight with everything they’ve got, even knowing they are going to be arrested and will not win the struggle.  We have a protocol we are supposed to follow and we do it with the best of our ability. Remember we’re packing guns, tasers, other equipment as we’re trying to arrest the person and have to attempt not to use those weapons unless absolutely necessary. The perps adrenaline is running high and they are powerful on their drug, and our adrenaline is running high as we try to protect the life of the one fighting us, our OWN, and anyone who may be in the vicinity. It’s impossible in that kind of situation to have everything go perfectly according to any rule books, but we do the best we can with what we’re handing at that very moment, and we never know what that’s going to be.” 

Makes sense to me.  

I put this on FB yesterday – forgive the repeat if you’re a friend there.  It’s what I believe.    


     I have always been appalled by racism. Disgusted with some of the worlds history.. all forms of racism that exist… We are all PEOPLE OF THIS EARTH. And if you think white people don’t deal with racism, you’re wrong. Just a few of my experiences…and they are nothing in the big picture. I sat on a public bus headed for school and because I was the only white girl that morning on the bus, I was approached and the simple gold chain I wore was ripped from my neck. The group cheered. Here’s an irony – Because of my dark skin and non-Ivy League education, I was frowned upon by a boyfriends family as soon as they met me. He was honest about his parents clear snub and I am so thankful we didn’t last. 


    Of course we can’t change the past. But it’s sure hard to shape the future in a positive way when opportunist thugs use the “justice for” and racial profiling excuse to burn down and loot their cities, damage businesses, homes, neighborhoods. You only fuel the stereotypes when you behave in such a way. You want justice? Respect? The key is to give it. To raise your children so that they have a moral compass, a respect for life, not just their own. Teach them to value education and the law.. Are there rogue cops out there who shouldn’t have a badge? You bet, just like in any other profession. But the majority are hard working people who put their lives on the line every single day and we’re damn lucky they’re willing. I don’t care what the color of your skin is….the conversation needs to change everywhere, but it starts with taking responsibility at home. Period.

   By the way… BRAVO to the people of that community who stood by the officers, defending them, as their neighbors rioted and destroyed and threw bricks.  Bravo to the family of the deceased who, even in their grief,  asked that no violence be brought to the city in the name of their son.  Bravo to those who came out of their homes the next morning with brooms and garbage pails, cleaning up their city. Bravo to the mother who found her son among the looters and  dragged him home, literally. 

 Does racism still exist? As I said above.. you betcha.  Sad deal.  But that’s not the way to fix it.   

ROSA PARKS… refused to give up her seat on a bus.  She didn’t torch it.  








Sometimes the Success is not about the ribbons

   This weekend marks the first of the 2015 Connecticut Quarter Horse show circuit series. The four day Spring Classic has felt like anything but -spring-… temps in the 30’s at night, 40-50’s during the day. Indeed, we had SNOW for a while on Thursday. Are ya kidding me??….

   Anyway… 
    This weekend, as it turns out, also marks Team KMax’s retirement.  K and Max had to move up this year, to a division that brings a higher level of competition.  We knew from the get-go that we were probably going to find ourselves out of our league, but K wanted to give it her best shot regardless.  In this division, the horses are very specifically bred, bought and trained to perform at a certain industry standard.  Max is Old School quarter horse, and not what today’s standards require.  He’s not as refined as they like to see in the show pen at the higher levels, and we don’t keep him in  constant training at 20 years old to try to get him as close to it as possible.  So, there is compromise. After a few days of riding and mulling it over at the show, K came to a difficult but clear decision.  
“I think we’re done here, mom.  It’s clear we aren’t cut out for this level of competition and I think it’s time to bring Max home and let him retire. I’m really OK with that. I feel like it’s the right thing to do. “
   Where is the success in this story?  There was no attitude, no aggravation at any point, no sulky behavior or sadness or anger when she came out of class without placing.  There WAS a sense of accomplishment for having actually ridden in that level of competition and a peace of mind that comes with discovering the right path and feeling good about it at this point in the journey. 
   Today I am very proud of my girl.. and happy for Max.  After 20 years of the show horse life, he will come home to This Old House and live out his retirement years in comfort and without a heavy workload.  It’s a beautiful thing.

Waiting to exhale

  If you do nothing else today…. click on the link below.. read the post.  Leave your thoughts in her comments section after, please.    I promise you’ve never come across a more courageous, gracious, inspired and inspiring, light of this world person. I hope I never know the kind of war she’s had to wage to squeeze as much life as she can out of whatever time she has left on this earth.  She should have been given enough time to finish raising her sons, she should come to know grandchildren, she should have been a writer from the very start, she is that gifted.   Go see for yourself –  it will only take a few moments of your time, but it might change your perspective in a big way. Then, enjoy today in all its ordinary.   Just that.

Fighting Style

    Three guesses and the first two don’t count – on what kind of fighting style this girl sports.  Have you been a reader here at This Old House 2  for a while?  If we were sitting in an auditorium you’d all be raising your hands with the answer, smirk style, and you’d all be right.  

    I’m the first to admit it – if there is something that’s pissing me off, you’re going to hear about it.  If you’re the one doing the thing that’s pissing me off – you’ll hear it even louder.  I’m married to the same kind of fighter and that makes life interesting around here.     And curses are part of my vocabulary.. is it a New Yawk thing? … Nope.. because I still have friends who grew up right alongside me in New Yawk who say “Gosh”.    If I ever say ” oh gosh”… know there’s something wrong with me.    Not that there’s anything wrong with it, just so we’re clear here –  it is not a dig against -gosh- exclaimers.    It just ain’t me… it sounds so -wrong- coming out of my mouth.
 The good thing about all that is, you’ll always know where I stand.   The bad thing about that is… you’ll always know where I stand.    What’s better – the noise maker who wants everything aired out, cleared up, straightened out and -let’s move forward-… or the quiet one who stews, simmers, maybe even ignores, but makes a statement in another way, which leaves whomever was the pisser offer clueless.. so that there is no positive change because… clueless.  And you know.. that long slow simmer eventually eats your heart out if you ask me. 

   Then there’s the passive aggressive way of fighting… no arguments, no loud exclamations or swear words or burnt offerings. But there is the steady pushing back, the little insinuations, the gestures, the Oops, did I do that?.. things that are a payback, but they don’t really accomplish anything because it’s not all out in the open, you know?  You’re not saying what you REALLY mean, you’re just getting even.  So the other person is left.. .clueless. 
   Now, in a perfect world, there is no fighting.  Fighting should be obsolete! Let’s all get along!…
but where do we live?  In the real world. 
    So what’s your fighting style?  …has it served you well?  I don’t know that mine has.. I didn’t choose it..but it is what it is. 
  

This I know for sure…

    … life is so enriched when you have the love of and for a dog.  If you never take anything else away from reading my blog drivel… please know.. believe…  that they feel, they love, they adore, they cherish, they hurt, they worry,  they grieve.  For those who have said to me – Oh, it’s all about the food, you give them the food and so they follow you around –   well,  if you believe that … you are missing out on one of the best relationships ever bestowed on us –  truth, that. 
   I will never forget an experience I had with my dachshund, little Rudy – the piss pot.   My daughter had just been in a horrible car accident and was lying in a coma at Yale.  I came home to change clothes and collapsed on my bed in tears. It was the first time I let loose since the accident and the sobs wracked my body. Suddenly I realize I heard a wailing beside me that was not my own.  It was Rudy – who had jumped up on the bed, laid next to me and began crying right beside me. 
    Ben is a very sensitive soul – he does not like when we argue in this house and lets us know immediately if there is tension in our voices.  And hey – we’re Italian, it is what it is.   He loves his bed and blankets and pillow and walks in the hayfields behind the house.  His face actually scrunches up in a smile when I tell him -let’s go for a walk-.  
   When I was sick on the bathroom floor with a migraine (you might know that kind)… Frasier sat beside me, tucked up against me, worried. 
  Bailey LOVES bedtime where she can tuck up against Mike or myself for the night.  On nights that I can’t sleep (thank you, menopausal mania) .. she watches Golden Girls reruns with me. 
  When I meet the shelter dogs who come into our fold while we try to get them homes, they are sooooo grateful to be out of whatever hell they just came from.  The emotion is amazing.. can’t explain it any other way. 
  Let me not got to any Heaven where there are no dogs…. 

WOW, what a weekend

We had a fantastic adoption event – all went smoothly – 40 out of approx. 50 dogs went to their forever homes!  The remaining few are in foster or went back with their rescue.  We are so very grateful for all the volunteers and adopters who show up and help us make  this monumental task a success.  I always go home exhausted and inspired with some of my faith in mankind restored after these events.  It’s a beautiful thing. 
Just a few of the 200 pics taken this weekend – 
These two dogs are brother and sister – they were dropped off at the kill shelter when their owners got divorced and neither wanted the dogs.   They were adopted together yesterday – the highlight of our event.  -awesome. This couple gets a Gold Star – 

If A picture can say a thousand words.. this one is it. 

Here we go again!

  First, let me thank every one of you who responded to my “issues” post –  one of the things that makes the difficult parts of life less -difficult- is sharing information, worries, dilemnas, etc with others, gaining valuable insight and knowing you’re not alone.  I don’t blog as often as I used to because – life-, but I’m sure glad you still poke your head in here now and then. Here’s what I decided to do once I read all your comments and went to the Dr. with more questions. 
   I’ve started a new drug (a Beta Blocker) because what I’ve been taking just ain’t cutting it. Very low dose for now, we’ll see where that goes.  I hate meds but I don’t have a choice right now while I tweak other things.   I am drinking more water,  I’m walking, I am making A BIG EFFORT to cut out dairy, gluten, sugar.  I already know when I do that, (ain’t no easy feat)… I feel so much better. The weight comes off, the aches and pains are much less, the blood pressure comes down.  I know some of you are already aware that when there is inflammation present in your body, dairy, sugar and gluten are inflammatory. So why dump it in your body to compound the issue, right?   I am also going to stay with the therapeutic massage to my neck and shoulders – right now I’m going twice a week to get rid of the spasms, but I will stay on a maintenance plan from here on out – maybe once every three weeks.  It’s something I have not done before because… I don’t like lying on that table or spending the money because insurance won’t cover it… but I like feeling awful and immobile even less… so it’s simple science, you know?   AND… I won’t cut out my farm chores, but I’m changing the way I do them. Instead of tackling them with a vengeance, I’m mosying through my morning chores, sometimes taking a break to look at my phone, chat with others, etc.  I’m actually sitting down for 10 minutes every day to stretch and just breathe in and breathe out, slowly, deeply.    
  So… where are we going?… to another Homeward Bound CT Adoption Event!  For the next few days, myself and about 30 other people will be pretty busy helping dogs find homes – there will be smiles, laughs, tears even… and some exhausted people at the end of the weekend – but lets hope and pray and please send positive thoughts that  our 50 dogs will find their homes by Sunday night –   Hooray for the Underdog!….
 
 A few more of our adoptable adorables….

Tank

  We had a fundraiser yesterday (and today but I’m not today’s crew) at Pet Valu in Guilford   –  pets or children’s picture taken with the Easter Bunny for a $5. donation to Homeward Bound CT – the proceeds will help us pay for the next adoption event – which is NEXT WEEKEND!!!  
 This big boy was such a happy fella – loved everyone he saw, including the big bunny.  If this breed of dog didn’t come with so many health problems, I’d love to have one.  Now and then they do come up on the rescue radar, but not too often.  He has a very good home with his own family so he does not need rescuing, I just wanted to hug him. I think he’s three feet wide and two feet tall – 
 

Anyway – A good time was had by all, except for just a few dogs who thought the Easter Bunny was something sent up from Hell to torment them specifically, judging by their reaction.  
Here are a few highlights…
My favorite….

These girls are golden- good friends, good hearts, good souls. It’s a great feeling to get involved in a cause and accomplish things for the better with like minded people.  Doesn’t matter how big or small the contributions might be – I highly recommend finding a cause you feel passionate about and get involved in whatever way is doable in your life.  It does a body ( and soul)  good.