Lift

Have you been watching the impeachment hearings/trial? I haven’t. Can’t believe I just typed that, but it’s true. I just cannot believe, in this day and age, that apparently for some of us and a particular sector of our government… law no longer applies. Truth no longer matters. When witnesses and evidence are banned from a Trial, we’re lost. Since he is getting away with everything but murder, I doubt 45 will be held accountable… for anything. It’s how his whole life has panned out despite his corrupt practices both personally and in business, and it looks as if the same will be true of his presidency.

Onward. Last week I took a look in the mirror and realized I hadn’t been for a haircut in almost a year. I did chop a few inches off about a month ago to “clean up” the split ends but the effect was… choppy. So my dear stylist Amber fit me in yesterday and gave me a good shaping cut. I felt lighter walking out of the salon with just that simple lift. I’ve got more grays now but I don’t think I want to get into the habit of having to be at the salon every three-four weeks to douse my head in toxic chemicals to cover the gray. I might change my mind as more come in, but.. for now.. I think I’m just going to see how it looks as it turns.

My weight loss journey continues – I’m getting good exercise in with light weight training and walk/jogging. Plus shit shoveling, hay bale throwing, water bucket lugging, horse blanket swapping. etc. etc. and then some. What I’m putting in my mouth is still the struggle. Will power is not my strong suit. I have indeed lost a few pounds since the last time I blogged about this. And so… I’ll keep moving forward, hopefully, putting less in my mouth. We’ve got a family vacation coming up in which I will be in a bathing suit often, and I really… really.. want to feel comfortable in my suit.

Speaking of suit shopping – man, (that should say woman) if that isn’t the hardest item to shop for. Mostly because I’m just not happy with how I look in a suit. But also, for a girl of a certain age, the suit needs to be comfortable, hold everything in, not too revealing but not a house dress either. I did find a suit that’s made well, does the job, and I feel OK in it. That’s the best I’m gonna get out of that experience, so be it.

LL Bean – she looks better in this than I do, but close enough. It’s their halter tankini, which comes in several colors/patterns and won’t break the bank.

As the news out in the world gets uglier, I’ve been turning away from it and looking around and inward, paying more attention to the relationships I cherish with family and friends, doing some organizing and refreshing here on the farm and at the cottage and in my line of work. It’s the lift I’ve needed and it feels good. Having our daughter and Company right next door has been such a blessing, and our son has begun the build of his home just over the hill. This little farm has become a haven for all of us, and I am so very grateful.

Hoping all is well in your neck o’the woods –

Karen

Treasures found

Often on Sundays during the winter months we drive down to our little coveside cottage, Stella-by-the-sea, to check on her interior and exterior and the little yard and sea wall and stairs to make sure all is holding up.

I found this photo on a real estate listing site for a home in the area, it’s a lovely shot of our cove, and at the bottom you’ll notice that trail through the wildlife refuge area behind it, a clear waterway trail of which I wasn’t aware, and plan to explore this summer via kayak. In some ways the idea of drones gives me the creeps, but for purposes such as this, they’re awesome.

Whenever we arrive and the tide is low, the first thing I’m inclined to do is walk the rocky waterfront in search of sea glass. If I find two pieces, I consider it a good day. I throw back the pieces that aren’t properly “seasoned”, their edges still sharp – but today the bounty was the biggest I have ever found in one hunt. And.. to add to the joy was a sliver of blue – and although it wasn’t properly seasoned… I could not part with it, as the finding is so rare.

Wishing you all a good week ahead, and thank you for your kind words of support. We’re all in this together, and I’m grateful for the camaraderie. Did I spell that right? I’m too lazy to look it up. Till soon, friends….

Karen

My kingdom for a Cookie

I cannot express without sounding a tad ridiculous how very difficult it is for me to “diet”. With the exception of the trauma and recovery of one of my children from a horrific accident years ago, this is the most difficult thing I have ever tried to do. To sound even more ridiculous… it bothers me so much, that if I could wave a magic wand and lose the 25 lbs I need to lose and that weight would stay off for the rest of my life and be able to eat whatever I want regardless… or.. have my hearing restored, I would chose the weight loss. Not even blink an eye, the decision would be easy. Oh yes I know it, that’s undeniably, certifiably….. nuts. But it would absolutely be my choice, given the option.

I started Noom at the beginning of January, and I can tell you it’s a great program for calorie counters, for those who love setting a goal and get excited about meeting that goal each day. It’s similar to WW if you’ve done that too. Been there, done that ! There’s also a great online presence of fellow users of Noom on facebook. Except there are a lot of whiners on that forum, (yep I know I’m currently whining, shush. )

What ultimately happens and in fairly short order for me is… I become resentful of the restriction and then I cheat just a little. And just a little more. And then I don’t log every single thing I eat because it’s just one hershey kiss and it’s just an apple and it’s just a handful of nuts and it’s just a scoop of chocolate ice cream – blah blah blah blah blah. All that adds up, of course, and then the cheating feels awful, and the app become ineffective because I’m not really following the rules and off we go to the races.

I’ve tried the talking to myself approach – Every time I pick up something to east I say to myself… Is this FIGHTING disease or AIDING it? Is this HELPING me lose weight or HELPING ME FAIL ? I’ve looked in the mirror before helping myself to a snack. I’ve gone dairy free for a while, I’ve gone sugar free for a while, I’ve gone processed food free for a while, and reduced meat consumption by a lot. It all helps a little, but ultimately I cave somewhat. Menopause makes it all that much harder.

It’s not about what I’m doing exercise wise – I’m pretty active. As my General practitioner has said to me often, it’s what I’m putting in my mouth. And Jezus H. Christmas, it is soooo hard for me to reduce significantly what I’m putting in my mouth. Such a simple thing, really… and yet.

Food is comfort for me, I love to cook it, bake it, I love to serve it to my family etc., I love growing it, I even love shopping for it. Oh, I am fully aware one can do all those things in moderation and be successful at weight loss…. I just haven’t figured out the combination to that lock yet. I keep spinning the dial hoping to get the numbers to line up just right.

******SIGH…..

Just keeping it real here. And if you are like minded but found what works, please… any tips appreciated.

Here’s a Healthy recipe that looks delish – I’m going to give it a try this weekend.

Sweet Potato & Black Bean Chili

By EATINGWELL TEST KITCHEN

Directions

Step 1

Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add sweet potato and onion and cook, stirring often, until the onion is beginning to soften, about 4 minutes. Add garlic, chili powder, cumin, chipotle and salt and cook, stirring constantly, for 30 seconds. Add water and bring to a simmer. Cover, reduce heat to maintain a gentle simmer and cook until the sweet potato is tender, 10 to 12 minutes.
Step 2

Add beans, tomatoes and lime juice; increase heat to high and return to a simmer, stirring often. Reduce heat and simmer until slightly reduced, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in cilantro.

Tips

Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate for up to 3 days or freeze for up to 3 months.

Note: Chipotle peppers are dried, smoked jalapeño peppers. Ground chipotle chile pepper can be found in the spice section of most supermarkets or online at penzeys.com.

Karen

Back on the horse

Not the equine variety, although we’ve got those here on the farm. I’m referring to the constant waxing and waning of my exercise and diet routine in recent years. Until my 50’s I didn’t really have to worry about my weight and I ate as much as I wanted. Oh, how I love food. I’ve always led an active life – but with my 50’s came fibromyalgia and hypertension and higher cholesterol and menopause and weight gain and a general feeling of -yuck- in my clothes, when I am active, in the mirror, you may know the struggle too.

The answer to these things that I have in my control is better food choices, better portion sizes and stepping up the workouts and walks. If you’re in the same boat, don’t ever quit rowing. We are worth the effort, don’t you think?

So, with 2020 comes a new wave of resolve for me – to not quit even though I haven’t succeeded in losing those 25 extra pounds. The scale annoys me to no end, so I’m not getting on it all the time – How I feel in my own skin and in my clothes will tell me how well I’m doing, or not. I’ve joined Noom, are you familiar with it? It’s similar to WW – calorie counting, some coaching on the phone app, and a great facebook page support group, which I am finding is very helpful. I’m not the “meetings” kind of girl nor will a very restrictive diet ever work for me, so this is something I think I can stick with, and so here we go. Again. and that’s OK

I’m also back in the gym – walking on the treadmill when the weather is not cooperative, and light weight training 3-4 times a week, besides the farm chores and dog walking that are part of my regular routine. Just a few hand held weights stored under your bed or in your closet and some tips online or from your Dr. are all you need to incorporate light weight training into your routine at any age.

In a friend’s Christmas card was an enlightening list I’ll share with you here – I used a photo from my backyard garden as a backdrop. Good advice for anyone.

Wishing us all a Happy, Healthy 2020, and World Peace… oh, if only there were that.

Karen

Vitamin Sea

When I find myself running low on faith in humanity, I’m often refueled while out observing nature.

He comes every day to feed his friends. They are wary of others, but not him, it’s clear there is trust between them. After I observed for a while, he motioned me into his circle, spoke softly and encouraged the birds to take a cracker from my hand, and eventually they did, trusting him next to me.

Santa

Son: “Dad, I think I’m old enough now. Is there a Santa Claus?.”
Dad: “Ok, I agree that your old enough. But before I tell you, I have a question for you. You see, the truth is a dangerous gift. Once you know something, you can’t unknow it. Once you know the truth about Santa Claus, you will never again understand and relate to him as you do now. So my question is: Are you sure you want to know?”
Brief pause: Son: “Yes, I want to know”
Dad: “Ok, I’ll tell you: Yes there is a Santa Claus” Son: “Really?” Dad: Yes, really, but he’s not an old man with a beard in a red suit. That’s just what we tell kids. You see, kids are too young to understand the true nature of Santa Claus, so we explain it to them in a way that they can understand. The truth about Santa Claus is that he’s not a person at all; he’s an idea. Think of all those presents Santa gave you over the years. I actually bought those myself. I watched you open them. And did it bother me that you didn’t thank me? Of course not! In fact it gave me great pleasure. You see, Santa Claus is THE IDEA OF GIVING FOR THE SAKE OF GIVING, without thought of thanks or acknowledgement.
When I saw that Women collapse on the subway last week and called for help, I knew that she’d never know that it was me that summoned the ambulance. I was being Santa Claus when I did that.”
Son: “Oh.”
Dad: “So now that you know, you’re part of it. You have to be Santa Claus too now. That means you can never tell a young kid the secret, and you have to help us select Santa presents for them, and most important, you have to look for opportunities to help people. “

Help each other this Christmas🎅 and when you have a choice, always…..be kind 💗

Wishing everyone on this planet Peace, Joy and an overabundance of Good Will during this Holiday Season and in the new year –

From this old house to yours – Merry Christmas 🌲

No. 3

Not my quote – but it’s in essence what I keep saying to anyone I know who still supports No. 3 and tries to defend it. Truly an ugly soul on every front –

“None of the president’s positives can balance the moral and political danger we face under a leader of such grossly immoral character.”

And women like Sara Sanders who last night mocked Joe Biden’s stutter on twitter? I don’t have to be a fan of Joe Biden or a member of his party to know that’s just a really low blow – an ugly flaw in character, just like No. 3’s mocking of handicapped people, pussy grabbing mentality, attacks on 16 year old climate activists with autism, gold star families and dead DECENT politicians and career military who gave their entire lives to service, – and I am so done with anyone who continues to applaud these people and their degrading bullying childish stupid behavior. Reminds me of all the mean kids in school and how some never grow up. These things have nothing to do with politics and everything to do with who we are as a people.

I believe you when you tell me who you are.

🎇 But in this season it is well to reassert that the hope of mankind rests in faith. As man thinketh, so he is. Nothing much happens unless you believe in it, and believing there is hope for the world is a way to move toward it.

– Gladys Taber

Revisiting The Golden Girls

My mother has always had a wide circle of friends, whether it was within her long career as a public school teacher, as a neighbor or a volunteer (Snug Harbor, Staten Island, Democratic Town Committee, to name just a few). Unlike so many friendships of my generation, they have remained close despite moves, retirements, etc . These four in particular are what I’ve always referred to as The Golden Girls. They have a comfortable friendship that spans decades, still going strong. They’ve each known personal trials, moves to different cities, illnesses, and in one case the worst form of grief. None of these things has frayed the ties that bind these women, and I’m grateful to bare witness to it all. Below is a piece my mother wrote this fall after one of their trips together.

** Mom’s version is spaced properly. For whatever the reason, my tech incompetence, perhaps? I haven’t been able to fix the spacing.. my apologies.

✨ Autumn’s Golden Girls✨

I am picked up at Metro Park by my friend with a sandwich in her hand

for the drive to Cape May

Never at a loss for words the chatter begins there and continues in Dawn’s driveway

Hugs all round and cookies from Staten Island’s Cookie Jar

Soup, talk, and cookies from the Cookie Jar

Gracious Thomas grinds coffee beans for tomorrow’s breakfast

Chattered out, sleep beckons

Plans for the next day revolve around cloudy skies and the threat of rain

A visit to Stone Harbor with the movie “Downton Abbey” in mind

And shopping, of course, clothes today

Autumn colored blouse for Roseann and tailored coat for Dawn

Necklace thrown in there somewhere

Diane and I literally sit this one out in the store’s comfortable sitting area

(Probably meant for bored husbands)

Walk through the boutique hotel The Reeds at Shelter Haven

Menu there for Thanksgiving Dinner

Not bad price, Dawn

Movie theater for snacks—nice set up

And then a reunion with Lord Grantham and other old friends

Whether upstairs or down, Mr. Carson greets us still as Violet raises her brow at the intrusion of the hoi polloi

Dining out at Ebbitts after drinks by their fire

Good food, good drinks, more good chatter

And home to those wonderful cookies

Ball game on, Tommy keeps us posted as we catch up on pretty much everything

families, the state of the younger generations,

old friends, new homes and a LAP POOL , trips enjoyed and those planned

It’s pretty much all good

And now everyone of us is in our seventies (at least until next May)

Where did all the decades go?

The lesson there: Seize the day, every damn day!

So we seize a shopping day, you knew that was coming

For the first time I spend the most, in a Christmas shop no less!

Even need to mail stuff home.

It is the proximity of Rosie egging me on I think.

So yeah, Rosie’s fault.

Lunch at Congress Hall

and more shopping

How do you spend $37 on Birthday cards in five minutes?

Easy at the Whale’s Tale

Diane and Dawn are the most restrained shoppers this go round

Dinner of sandwiches and left overs and cookies

Earlier to bed for tomorrow’s trip home

Breakfast and chatter

Pack up and head out

Train is not missed, Diane is home before it leaves station

Another visit of friends, a little creakier and grayer

But just as happy to share time together, a glass of wine together,

A walk through an iconic town center together

The Cape May of a golden October afternoon

A few thoughts found and cherished about friends and friendships

“Life is partly what we make it,

and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”

Tennessee Williams

“Friendships multiply joys and divide griefs”

“Friendship can’t be a big thing. It’s a million little things.”

Til next time, my friends. While we get grayer the friendships remain golden. And that’s a fact.

More Light

I am so sick and tired of being so sick and tired of the current asshat in chief of this dear ole US of A, not to mention his spineless enablers, I’ve decided to just let that whole mess go for at least a little while. I’m not looking at the news .. much… I’m not reading someone’s spin or fretting over ignorance because really what good comes of it… answer – zilch. I need to breathe clean air, think clean thoughts, see inspiration and act on that. I need to believe most of us are made up of more good than bad.

So what is helping me accomplish this necessary avoidance? Extending kindnesses where a little light needs shining. (if only it would help me stop the holiday EATING… so far, no luck there. Onward….. )

The local veterinarian put out a plea for blankets and cat beds for the foster dogs/cats in their care, and we have an Ocean State Job Lot not far from here where those things are available pretty cheap. For $50 I was able to bring them a nice armload of blankets/beds and that simple act just felt good. Some light.

Recently a local family lost their matriarch, Carol Anne, a joyful woman who has known more heartache than should ever befall one person and yet she always found a reason to be happy. She would say to friends when they asked how she could remain so upbeat -” I have two choices, I can be miserable for the rest of my life, or I can choose Joy. I’m choosing Joy. ” Her home was always decorated to the hilt for Christmas, there were lights and pine garland even in the rafters of the family log cabin. When she passed a month ago, she left two daughters who are afflicted with a similar illness and are missing her terribly. Her favorite color was purple, and as I thought of how difficult this holiday must be for the two girls, an idea arose. Why not put together a Christmas package for each of the girls containing purple things – a nod to their joyful mother in this, their first Christmas without her. Purple no-slip socks, a purple cardinal ornament for their trees, (she loved birds) purple nail polish, purple candy coated chocolates, lavender soap. It didn’t take a lot of effort or a lot of money to do this, and to drop it off at their home, give a hug and reminder that their sorrow is not forgotten, their mother is not forgotten. And once again, it felt good, my soul lifted. More light.

As I left their house I stopped in just down the hill to visit 90 year old Marge . This lady has always known how to make the best of any situation, ever the optimist. She has many friends and family who love her, and she is still living on her own, taking care of a rescue dog I found for she and her now- deceased husband about five years ago. That dog takes such good care of her, and she him. She still cooks for herself and for company on occasion, rarely if ever complaining about the many aches and pains that come with reaching that monumental milestone of a birthday. She’s seen a lot of good times, and some really hard times, watched this world turn upside down more than once. She is concerned for the changes, but she also has faith that things will work themselves out in the end. 90 years of observation have proven it. She is another who is always looking at the bright side. While I thought I was doing something good for her on this visit, turns out she was the one gifting me. More light, still.

If you are weary as you read this, for any of the multitude of reasons this life can provide, I’m wishing you peace in your heart and more light in your life – I promise any light you can shine on another in whatever the ways that are possible for you will reflect back onto you tenfold.

Till soon, friends –

What matters

We had a lovely Thanksgiving dinner here at This Old House and I hope wherever you spent the day and with whom, you did too. The food was delish, minus the Chocolate Cheesecake flop. King Arthur Flour recipe.. ….shoulda worked… .. but… something went wrong and it was so heavy you wouldn’t want to have to hang onto it if you fell in the water somewhere unexpectedly. That doesn’t really make sense, but you know what I mean. It sucked. Thankfully there were two pies and cookies to fill the gap.

Empty plates at the end of a meal are always a good sign, although Frasier was scoping for scraps, hoping for something different.

In these pictures you’ll notice the “theme” is not Thankgiving at all. Indeed, Christmas swooped in the day before, for no good reason other than a rainy day and a little impatience. That would be mine. Mom said… “but… Fall is such a pretty time of year..” Indeed it is, and Fall has been living in This Old House since September. It was time. At least the food reflected the proper holiday decorum, right? 🙂

Is this the weekend you begin your Christmas/Holiday Season? We are officially Decked. While at the tree farm up the road, we discovered the secret to starting young trees…. plant them very very close together in a big patch where they almost look like a carpet – and then transplant once they’ve grown some. This gives them protection while they grow a little more hearty. Ah Ha! That’s why our first few attempts failed. Those poor babies were out on our windy hill all on their own, too far apart from each other to gather the necessary support. What were we thinking.

We got two smaller REAL trees this year instead of the big FAKE one. I’m so done with fake news, ya know? We’ve got one at the corner of the family room where we can also see it from the Mancave, and one in the kitchen/dining room area. I love the heavenly scent of fresh pine.

Yesterday morning as I looked out over the fields from our kitchen window, I saw two bucks up on the hill, one a juvenile – father and son? Brothers? Donner and Blitzen scouting for Santa, perhaps. I managed a few blurry shots before they darted off…

… and was reminded again how very grateful I am for the opportunity to live here on this little farm, for as long as life will allow it.