Love

It took a lot of years of beating myself up over whatever my physical and emotional shortcomings have been, perceived and real, to come to a place of acceptance and even love for myself. Why is it often the case that it is easier to be kinder to others than to ourselves? Life is so much more comfortable when we fully accept who and what we are made of, fully appreciate and nourish and celebrate! the good, embrace it whole heartedly. This I have discovered to be profoundly true. When we are capable of that, even the people we love, those who round out our lives and make them whole, benefit.

Love and Kindness are never wasted, they always make a difference, even when it’s not obvious – they bless the person who receives them, and they bless you, the giver. Happy Valentine’s Day, All – Wishing you much love in any of the many forms it can be found 💗

If Cake could fix it…

… this would be the one, I’m tellin ya – yes it’s from scratch, and there’s more work involved than throwing the mix in the bowl with a few eggs and water and mixing it up, bake, open the tub of fake frosting and pile it on. But…. the extra elbow grease for this one is soooo worth the effort. Delish! and so fresh tasting. This is not my recipe or photo, found it on the web somewhere…. I made it less complicated with just two layers, no one complained and it was almost inhaled, it was that good.

STRAWBERRY MOSCATO CAKE with CREAM CHEESE BUTTERCREAM FROSTING

Ingredients

Cake Ingredients:

- 4 large eggs,
- 1 1/2 C strawberry puree
- 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
- 2 tsp strawberry extract
- 1/2 cup Moscato (that’s a sweet white wine in case, like me, you are clueless)
- 2 to 3 drops Pink gel food coloring
- 3 C cake flour
- 1 3/4 C sugar
- 1 tbsp plus 1/2 tsp baking powder
- 1 tsp kosher salt
- 1/4 C canola oil
- 1/2 C unsalted sweet cream butter
- 10 large strawberries sliced thinly to go in-between the cake layers
- 1/2 cup moscato reserved- saved for after its baked ( I didn’t do this, forgot! )

Cream Cheese Buttercream Frosting ingredients

3 – 8 oz box, cream cheese, softened
3/4 C unsalted sweet cream butter, softened
6 C powdered sugar
4 tsp vanilla extract
5-7 TBSP heavy whipping cream

Instructions

Strawberry Moscato Cake directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and spray the cake pans with pam baking spray, set aside
2. In a separate bowl, combine eggs, strawberry puree, moscato, vanilla, strawberry extract, pink food coloring, whisk until combined
3. Using a standing mixer, whisk together the cake flour, sugar, baking powder and salt until combined
4. Slowly beat in the butter and canola oil until combined
5. Once the mixture looks like coarse sand, gradually beat in the egg mixture until combined. The batter will be very thick and fluffy but so good!
6. Evenly divide the cake batter in the prepared pans
7. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let the cake cool in the pans 10 min. then turn out.
8. drizzle the remaining 1/2 cup of moscato over each cake evenly (more if desired or forget this step altogether like I did)

Frosting Directions:

1. Using a standing mixer, cream together the cream cheese, butter, vanilla, powdered sugar and heavy whipping cream until combined and creamy and stiff with peaks

Directions to prepare the cake:

Once cake rounds have cooled, remove from cake pans and place onto a cutting board
Using the cake leveler, remove the domes of the cakes
Place one cake round onto the cake board
Scoop 1 C of the frosting onto the middle of the cake
Using the angled spatula, smooth the frosting out
Layer some thinly sliced strawberries onto the frosting
Place the second cake layer onto the first layer
Repeat steps with the frosting and remaining cake layer
Scoop 1 C of frosting into the piping bag and set aside
Once you have built your cake, scoop the remaining frosting onto the top of the cake and use the angled spatula to smooth it out
Frost the entire cake until smooth
Using the piping bag, pipe dollops of frosting around the edge of the top of the cake
Place sliced strawberries onto the dollops
Enjoy!

I’m trying to untangle myself from the anger and disbelief and yes, grief I feel every time I pass by the big screen in the mancave and see the news blaring at my significant other. I’m also trying to avoid glancing, however briefly, at the headlines on CNN and the like when on my computer .. BUT.. what I won’t do is bury my head in the sand all together. So I am still proactive in doing whatever my tiny little self can do, me, this drop in the proverbial ocean – I’m donating where I can, I’m volunteering where I can, I’m looking for the good anywhere and everywhere, and I’m trying to ignore the fact that some of my friends and family are supporting something I feel is absolutely intolerably unsupportable in any decent frame of mind, because I don’t want to hate people I used to care about, I don’t want to be disappointed continuously, it’s no way to live.

Have you ever heard of The Dowager Duchess of Devonshire? No?… me either.. until I saw this picture – and wanted to know more.

I ordered her memoir on Amazon, titled Wait For Me! It looks like just the tonic needed for my weary brain. That’s her up there …. this is me…

Uncanny resemblance, AmIright? … lol..

Sharing one more thing with you before I head up to the barn for dinner feeding and eye med administration to our old boy, Max. Are you a tea drinker? I’m not so much, however I love this tea – Harney & Sons Dragon Pearl Jasmine… the best way I can describe the unusual taste…it’s like a walk through the local nursery greenhouses when everything is in full bloom even though just outside the glass doors exists that thick New England winter-grey curtain, yet to be lifted by the greening tendrils of Spring.

Till soon –

This neck o’the woods

I could write all day about the current list of atrocities and tragedies in the news, but let’s heed the advice we’ve been giving each other here on this blog and focus on the good things in our lives, shall we? I want to thank each of you who stop by to read my musings and join the conversations, it’s encouraging to hear from like minded people, truly. #MakeAmericaKindAgain #MakeAmericaSaneAgain either would do.

It’s maple sugaring season here in the Northeast, but you wouldn’t know it by the current weather trends. We’ve had very little snow so far, the trees are tapped on our farm with a little flow, but the temps have not been cold enough overnight to get the sap flowing when the heat rises during the day. We don’t have a sugar shack here on our farm, so we take ours to the community farm Sugar Shack in our town, where volunteers process it, bottle it and sell it to continue to support the farm. You might wonder why pure maple syrup is so expensive compared to the fake stuff like Aunt J*mima, and the answer is there is so much work that goes into it, and so much tree sap is needed – 40 gallons of clear tree sap boils down to one gallon of actual syrup.

Have you tried Maple Water? I have found it in a few of the grocery stores in this area, but not all. I absolutely love it – light, refreshing, with just a hint of maple – it’s the pure maple water(sap) that comes out of the tree, is flash pastuerized and sold in stores. YUM! And it’s hydrating, it’s actually good for you! I’m not getting any compensation for saying it – treat yourself to a bottle if you find it in your local stores. Canadian runners have been using it to refuel for some time.

In my better health/better weight quest I have lost a few pounds and have gained some muscle, I’m not perfect with the food intake but I’ve made some headway. My clothes are starting to feel better on me and that is a good beginning. I continue to walk/hike/jog with the dogs, light weight training and all of this helps greatly with the Fibromyalgia I’ve been dealing with for the past five-six years give or take. If you suffer from the same, in my experience, keep moving – that’s the best line of defense. And.. eat much less sugar and dairy, much less processed foods.

L-R – My Sally and Frasier, K’s Gizmo on the right. Now that we live nextdoor to each other, we often take the dogs on walks together. It motivates us both to get out there and keep moving.

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

– Henry David Thoreau

Our dear old retired showhorse, Max, is now dealing with Glaucoma in one eye, thankfully not the painful variety. He’s on four different meds to try to stave it off for a while and seems to be learning to live without vision on the left. I’m glad we can give him the peace to deal with the handicap and he will not be shipped off to a kill pen like so many others, no longer useful. Another reason to be so very grateful for what this old farm affords us.

Our son has begun the construct of his home just over the hill, the foundation is poured… and I am over the moon to have both kids so close by. Over the years we will all benefit from this little patch of farmland not far from everything else, just the right mix of country and suburb. He and his GF have worked hard to begin and build their careers and are very excited about the plans they’re making for their future together, it does my heart good. 🧡

That’s my mom in the red hoodie up there, the one who leaves awesome comments now and then and hates her picture to be taken but I do it anyway because – I GOTTA BE ME- .. and I love my mom.

One more update – I’m not happy about global warming so a mild winter is concerning, BUT… I do believe, because it’s been so mild… this batch of christmas trees might just actually survive. Third time’s the charm? Stay tuned…

I’ll close this post with something to ponder. Why is it that men or the kids think they’re doing us a HUGE service when they lift a finger in the direction of cleaning up after themselves such as… oh, say… changing the toilet paper roll or washing the dinner dishes or flipping the load of laundry into the dryer or taking the trash out or putting the sneakers back in the closet instead of under the bench in the mudroom. Aren’t they also the ones making the mess? AmIright? Just sayin –

Karen

WTF

First the denials, then when caught red handed, the denial is twisted into a “so what”. How many arrests of people in his inner circle? How many times does he have to outright lie right to all of our faces, not fake news , bend our laws to suit his needs, hide his information from we the people? – BELIEVE HIM.

For those who think it’s OK for a draft dodging pussy grabbing tax evading lying cheating adultering porn star fucking reality TV President to abuse his power, to ask outside FOREIGN HOSTILE entities for help in his re- election, to withhold aid to foreign entities in exchange for help in his re election, to lie almost daily and sometimes multiple times in a day, to hide his finances from us, to mock and slander generals and intelligence community and women and children and gold star families and military who “had a headache” whose immediate family gains FAR more nepotistic benefit in the White House and financial gain opportunities than Hunter Biden or Chelsea Clinton or any other you want to smear or bring up ever could, conflicts of business interest in every fucking major country, is continuing to trash animal welfare and environmental welfare… he is truly one disgusting human being on every fucking level.

This is not about guns or rights or the economy or jobs or immigration – there are many problems that need solving and I happen to agree with talking points and solutions all across the political spectrum.

This is no longer a “Oh, this is just politics, they all lie, they all cheat” thing – This man is the devil. FOR GOD’S SAKE Believe him when he shows you who he is. I am so sad for this country, I am sad for what the GOP has turned into, not the Republican Party of my younger days and more importantly I truly thought we were a better nation, a more decent people. I’m seeing people I know mock teenagers, mock women for their looks, mock victims of sexual assault, mock women for standing up for women’s rights, (are you kidding me? How quickly we forget, or how ignorant we truly are, which is it?) Jew hate , gay hate, Immigrant hate, black hate, white hate, brown and yellow hate – racism is alive and well and stoked by the fires of the ignorant would-be King who spews garbage all over his social media regularly as do the hate groups that embrace him. The irony of the religious who support him!

Today’s outcome via the spineless bought and paid for GOP proves there are no checks and balances, we are a sea of fools adrift without a moral sail or rudder and we will be the cause of our own decline. We already are. Truth no longer matters, decency no longer matters, Greed will be our end. For those of you who will mock this post, Fuck you. You’ll never meet a kinder soul, and I’d give you the shirt off my back regardless of our differences if you needed it, that’s exactly why this is so horrifying to someone like me, to see the complete moral destruction of the fabric of this nation.

– Not a fucking snowflake, Not a Dem, not a Liberal, not a Republican – just an ordinary decent resident of these United States, Heartbroken for us all 💔

Lift

Have you been watching the impeachment hearings/trial? I haven’t. Can’t believe I just typed that, but it’s true. I just cannot believe, in this day and age, that apparently for some of us and a particular sector of our government… law no longer applies. Truth no longer matters. When witnesses and evidence are banned from a Trial, we’re lost. Since he is getting away with everything but murder, I doubt 45 will be held accountable… for anything. It’s how his whole life has panned out despite his corrupt practices both personally and in business, and it looks as if the same will be true of his presidency.

Onward. Last week I took a look in the mirror and realized I hadn’t been for a haircut in almost a year. I did chop a few inches off about a month ago to “clean up” the split ends but the effect was… choppy. So my dear stylist Amber fit me in yesterday and gave me a good shaping cut. I felt lighter walking out of the salon with just that simple lift. I’ve got more grays now but I don’t think I want to get into the habit of having to be at the salon every three-four weeks to douse my head in toxic chemicals to cover the gray. I might change my mind as more come in, but.. for now.. I think I’m just going to see how it looks as it turns.

My weight loss journey continues – I’m getting good exercise in with light weight training and walk/jogging. Plus shit shoveling, hay bale throwing, water bucket lugging, horse blanket swapping. etc. etc. and then some. What I’m putting in my mouth is still the struggle. Will power is not my strong suit. I have indeed lost a few pounds since the last time I blogged about this. And so… I’ll keep moving forward, hopefully, putting less in my mouth. We’ve got a family vacation coming up in which I will be in a bathing suit often, and I really… really.. want to feel comfortable in my suit.

Speaking of suit shopping – man, (that should say woman) if that isn’t the hardest item to shop for. Mostly because I’m just not happy with how I look in a suit. But also, for a girl of a certain age, the suit needs to be comfortable, hold everything in, not too revealing but not a house dress either. I did find a suit that’s made well, does the job, and I feel OK in it. That’s the best I’m gonna get out of that experience, so be it.

LL Bean – she looks better in this than I do, but close enough. It’s their halter tankini, which comes in several colors/patterns and won’t break the bank.

As the news out in the world gets uglier, I’ve been turning away from it and looking around and inward, paying more attention to the relationships I cherish with family and friends, doing some organizing and refreshing here on the farm and at the cottage and in my line of work. It’s the lift I’ve needed and it feels good. Having our daughter and Company right next door has been such a blessing, and our son has begun the build of his home just over the hill. This little farm has become a haven for all of us, and I am so very grateful.

Hoping all is well in your neck o’the woods –

Karen

Treasures found

Often on Sundays during the winter months we drive down to our little coveside cottage, Stella-by-the-sea, to check on her interior and exterior and the little yard and sea wall and stairs to make sure all is holding up.

I found this photo on a real estate listing site for a home in the area, it’s a lovely shot of our cove, and at the bottom you’ll notice that trail through the wildlife refuge area behind it, a clear waterway trail of which I wasn’t aware, and plan to explore this summer via kayak. In some ways the idea of drones gives me the creeps, but for purposes such as this, they’re awesome.

Whenever we arrive and the tide is low, the first thing I’m inclined to do is walk the rocky waterfront in search of sea glass. If I find two pieces, I consider it a good day. I throw back the pieces that aren’t properly “seasoned”, their edges still sharp – but today the bounty was the biggest I have ever found in one hunt. And.. to add to the joy was a sliver of blue – and although it wasn’t properly seasoned… I could not part with it, as the finding is so rare.

Wishing you all a good week ahead, and thank you for your kind words of support. We’re all in this together, and I’m grateful for the camaraderie. Did I spell that right? I’m too lazy to look it up. Till soon, friends….

Karen

My kingdom for a Cookie

I cannot express without sounding a tad ridiculous how very difficult it is for me to “diet”. With the exception of the trauma and recovery of one of my children from a horrific accident years ago, this is the most difficult thing I have ever tried to do. To sound even more ridiculous… it bothers me so much, that if I could wave a magic wand and lose the 25 lbs I need to lose and that weight would stay off for the rest of my life and be able to eat whatever I want regardless… or.. have my hearing restored, I would chose the weight loss. Not even blink an eye, the decision would be easy. Oh yes I know it, that’s undeniably, certifiably….. nuts. But it would absolutely be my choice, given the option.

I started Noom at the beginning of January, and I can tell you it’s a great program for calorie counters, for those who love setting a goal and get excited about meeting that goal each day. It’s similar to WW if you’ve done that too. Been there, done that ! There’s also a great online presence of fellow users of Noom on facebook. Except there are a lot of whiners on that forum, (yep I know I’m currently whining, shush. )

What ultimately happens and in fairly short order for me is… I become resentful of the restriction and then I cheat just a little. And just a little more. And then I don’t log every single thing I eat because it’s just one hershey kiss and it’s just an apple and it’s just a handful of nuts and it’s just a scoop of chocolate ice cream – blah blah blah blah blah. All that adds up, of course, and then the cheating feels awful, and the app become ineffective because I’m not really following the rules and off we go to the races.

I’ve tried the talking to myself approach – Every time I pick up something to east I say to myself… Is this FIGHTING disease or AIDING it? Is this HELPING me lose weight or HELPING ME FAIL ? I’ve looked in the mirror before helping myself to a snack. I’ve gone dairy free for a while, I’ve gone sugar free for a while, I’ve gone processed food free for a while, and reduced meat consumption by a lot. It all helps a little, but ultimately I cave somewhat. Menopause makes it all that much harder.

It’s not about what I’m doing exercise wise – I’m pretty active. As my General practitioner has said to me often, it’s what I’m putting in my mouth. And Jezus H. Christmas, it is soooo hard for me to reduce significantly what I’m putting in my mouth. Such a simple thing, really… and yet.

Food is comfort for me, I love to cook it, bake it, I love to serve it to my family etc., I love growing it, I even love shopping for it. Oh, I am fully aware one can do all those things in moderation and be successful at weight loss…. I just haven’t figured out the combination to that lock yet. I keep spinning the dial hoping to get the numbers to line up just right.

******SIGH…..

Just keeping it real here. And if you are like minded but found what works, please… any tips appreciated.

Here’s a Healthy recipe that looks delish – I’m going to give it a try this weekend.

Sweet Potato & Black Bean Chili

By EATINGWELL TEST KITCHEN

Directions

Step 1

Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add sweet potato and onion and cook, stirring often, until the onion is beginning to soften, about 4 minutes. Add garlic, chili powder, cumin, chipotle and salt and cook, stirring constantly, for 30 seconds. Add water and bring to a simmer. Cover, reduce heat to maintain a gentle simmer and cook until the sweet potato is tender, 10 to 12 minutes.
Step 2

Add beans, tomatoes and lime juice; increase heat to high and return to a simmer, stirring often. Reduce heat and simmer until slightly reduced, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in cilantro.

Tips

Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate for up to 3 days or freeze for up to 3 months.

Note: Chipotle peppers are dried, smoked jalapeño peppers. Ground chipotle chile pepper can be found in the spice section of most supermarkets or online at penzeys.com.

Karen

Back on the horse

Not the equine variety, although we’ve got those here on the farm. I’m referring to the constant waxing and waning of my exercise and diet routine in recent years. Until my 50’s I didn’t really have to worry about my weight and I ate as much as I wanted. Oh, how I love food. I’ve always led an active life – but with my 50’s came fibromyalgia and hypertension and higher cholesterol and menopause and weight gain and a general feeling of -yuck- in my clothes, when I am active, in the mirror, you may know the struggle too.

The answer to these things that I have in my control is better food choices, better portion sizes and stepping up the workouts and walks. If you’re in the same boat, don’t ever quit rowing. We are worth the effort, don’t you think?

So, with 2020 comes a new wave of resolve for me – to not quit even though I haven’t succeeded in losing those 25 extra pounds. The scale annoys me to no end, so I’m not getting on it all the time – How I feel in my own skin and in my clothes will tell me how well I’m doing, or not. I’ve joined Noom, are you familiar with it? It’s similar to WW – calorie counting, some coaching on the phone app, and a great facebook page support group, which I am finding is very helpful. I’m not the “meetings” kind of girl nor will a very restrictive diet ever work for me, so this is something I think I can stick with, and so here we go. Again. and that’s OK

I’m also back in the gym – walking on the treadmill when the weather is not cooperative, and light weight training 3-4 times a week, besides the farm chores and dog walking that are part of my regular routine. Just a few hand held weights stored under your bed or in your closet and some tips online or from your Dr. are all you need to incorporate light weight training into your routine at any age.

In a friend’s Christmas card was an enlightening list I’ll share with you here – I used a photo from my backyard garden as a backdrop. Good advice for anyone.

Wishing us all a Happy, Healthy 2020, and World Peace… oh, if only there were that.

Karen

Vitamin Sea

When I find myself running low on faith in humanity, I’m often refueled while out observing nature.

He comes every day to feed his friends. They are wary of others, but not him, it’s clear there is trust between them. After I observed for a while, he motioned me into his circle, spoke softly and encouraged the birds to take a cracker from my hand, and eventually they did, trusting him next to me.

Santa

Son: “Dad, I think I’m old enough now. Is there a Santa Claus?.”
Dad: “Ok, I agree that your old enough. But before I tell you, I have a question for you. You see, the truth is a dangerous gift. Once you know something, you can’t unknow it. Once you know the truth about Santa Claus, you will never again understand and relate to him as you do now. So my question is: Are you sure you want to know?”
Brief pause: Son: “Yes, I want to know”
Dad: “Ok, I’ll tell you: Yes there is a Santa Claus” Son: “Really?” Dad: Yes, really, but he’s not an old man with a beard in a red suit. That’s just what we tell kids. You see, kids are too young to understand the true nature of Santa Claus, so we explain it to them in a way that they can understand. The truth about Santa Claus is that he’s not a person at all; he’s an idea. Think of all those presents Santa gave you over the years. I actually bought those myself. I watched you open them. And did it bother me that you didn’t thank me? Of course not! In fact it gave me great pleasure. You see, Santa Claus is THE IDEA OF GIVING FOR THE SAKE OF GIVING, without thought of thanks or acknowledgement.
When I saw that Women collapse on the subway last week and called for help, I knew that she’d never know that it was me that summoned the ambulance. I was being Santa Claus when I did that.”
Son: “Oh.”
Dad: “So now that you know, you’re part of it. You have to be Santa Claus too now. That means you can never tell a young kid the secret, and you have to help us select Santa presents for them, and most important, you have to look for opportunities to help people. “