Uncategorized – Page 11 – This Old House 2

The Other Woman

This sort of thing has been going on for a while now, it’s not shocking in today’s world, really. I guess we were behind the times around here, but now he’s done with it. Out with the old, in with the new, as they say. I can’t blame him – She’s fresh and young. She’s sleek. From what I can tell, she doesn’t complain or voice her opinion. She can do things I can’t do. No wonder he was so eager to welcome her into our home… and indeed it’s official… Alexa has moved in.

I really had not a clue what this Alexa thing was, paid no mind, as I can’t hear voices or music very well anyway. Funny thing, though. When music is playing on Alexa, for whatever the reason, I can hear it a little better than if it were coming out of the car radio or our old sound system. Music still sounds like crap compared to what a normal hearing person experiences, but I am getting a little bit more of the instrumentals, sometimes even a voice if it’s a deep one. That’s a gain in my world, a pleasant surprise.

In some ways, it feels like we’re beginning to live in the age of the Jetsons… a mini robot that sits on the office desk and kitchen counter and living room mantel that plays whatever music we ask, tells us what the forecast is, answers any factual questions. All we have to to do is say out loud… Alexa… play the Eagles music. Alexa, what’s the temperature outside right now?

Are you old enough to remember that cartoon? Now if only we could have robot maids like Rosie that vacuum and dust and cook our meals. That’s an Alexa I could really appreciate! I’m sure it’s on the horizon, after all we’ve been living with vacuums that propel themselves along the floor while we’re at work and microwaves that heat or cook food in seconds, minutes. There are hover crafts out there, just not ready for regular population consumption yet.

Times, they are a changing. Not fast enough in Washington, however.

Till soon, friends –

Love On the Rocks

This weekend’s weather can be summed up in one word. WET. And ya know? That’s really just fine, because doing farm chores in the rain is easier than doing farm chores in snow and ice, truth.

M and I took a ride down to the cottage yesterday ~~longing for spring~~ to “check on things” and I brought my big lens in case there were some good shots to be had. Indeed there were… crumby weather can set a great mood in photographs.. as evidenced below. People often think a good picture day is sunshiney and bright, but sometimes you get an even better mood in your photos on a gloomy day.

Below are a few homes that sit on the rocks that are the Thimble Islands, more on those HERE. There’s a fun boat tour you can take to explore the islands, too. Link HERE. I love them all. There are currently a few for sale… you, too, can own your own Treasure Island, all one would need is a big lottery win and a boat, for that’s the only way to get to these islands. Link HERE. And another COLORFUL one HERE. Check out that interior! Our little Stella sits in a cove just around the bend.

We had lunch at our favorite little spot in Stony Creek with the Thimbles out in the distance. It’s a simple place with good, healthy food choices. We covet the marble tables inside, well worn ancient treasures with a history nobody seems to know. If you look real close you can see that old gas pump and a few of the islands out in the distance.

While there we browsed a health food booklet with a recipe for butternut pecan bread the husband wanted to try. We picked up a butternut squash at the nearby market and I made the bread when we arrived home. First, the squash had to be baked and mashed, then the rest of the recipe prepared. It is a delicious treat on a dreary winter day and I just had a piece for breakfast, too.

These ceramic measuring cups are one of my favorite things in the kitchen… found them at a local shop but you can buy them at Wayfair too, link HERE. They are made by Creative Co-op. They’re colorful, easy to use, and look pretty on the counter, which is where I keep them.

I hope wherever you are, you’re having a good day. Till soon, friends –

Grey and Red

Our New England landscape can be summed up in one word – Grey. We’ve got snow flurries and then rain on the horizon, so I fed and watered the boyz up at the barn and the girlz in the coop and cleaned out their living quarters, left top doors open for fresh air and they are snug and dry in the barn for the day.

The horse closest to you in this picture is Max2 , now 31 years of age, that’s ancient in horse-life. He’s owned by a friend of ours. Our Max – in the rear here, is Max1. Opie, my redhead, stands in the middle, the ~~brat~~ boss of our little herd for sure.

Once I got all that accomplished and took a long hot shower to start the day, I drove to the nearest grocery store and picked up a few things to make a good, hearty soup for tonight’s supper. Even the bleak grey days of winter can be beautiful….

I got the idea for this throw together soup after reading Debbie’s post this morning on THIS blog.

Basically, I sauteed some turkey kielbasa in my most favorite cooking tool in the house – my big red Le Creuset pot. Then I removed the sauteed sliced Kielbasa and added a little butter, chopped red pepper and sweet onion. When that was slightly tender and beginning to brown, I threw in some chopped garlic, shredded carrot, chopped celery, and let that saute a little more. Then I added a can of crushed tomatoes, a can of cannellini beans, and chicken stock, enough to make it soupy. Threw the Kielbasa back in and it’s all simmering low on the stove till this evening. About 15 minutes before serving, I’ll throw in a bunch of baby spinach so the spinach is cooked but not drowned. The house already smells like welcome home.

Speaking of which… This starting combination of (red sweet) peppers, onions and garlic always reminds me of the very first time it occurred to me I was really going to enjoy cooking.

The Mr. and I were dating and I was cooking a meal for him for the first time. At that time I had been living with my Aunt, finishing school, held two jobs and a barn full of horses to help take care of. Busy girl, no time for cooking. I had no idea what I was doing and was on the phone with my Aunt several times during the course of the meal prep asking questions with the hope that I wouldn’t royally screw it up. M was at work, thankfully, not aware of the mess I was making in his kitchen.

Well, that first meal consisted of a chicken dish that began with a pepper, onion, garlic sauteed in butter combination. oh, that heavenly scent.. I was THRILLED that I had created that delicious aroma with just those ingredients sauteeing in a pan. From that moment on I paid more attention to the art of cooking, experimented some and followed recipes handed down in my family, most of which I still use today – Mom makes a mean stew and I haven’t tweaked it in all these years. My grandmother and Aunt also legendary in our family for their good home cooking, I guess I got some of that from them. They were all better about doing the dishes immediately after the sit-down,though. On that I am the great procrastinator.

Till soon, friends…

Here and There

Well, darn it, winter is still being wintery ’round here, go figure… We got more snow yesterday and temps were in the teens this morning… just a few inches of the white stuff.

Sadie the hen took two steps outside, took a good luck around, said Oh, Hell No…. and strutted right back inside the hen house where the cozy coop heater is keeping the flock warm. Star, peering out from behind her, took the hint and jumped back up on the roost without placing a mere toe in the snow.

That’s kinda what I’ve been doing every time I attempt to catch a little of the news. Try as I may, I can’t ignore the twilight zone that currently occupies the White House. It’s like trying to look away from a bad accident, you’re just compelled to look back upon it as if you’re not convinced this is really what it appears to be. Wow, by absolutely anyone’s standards, I don’t care who you are or on what side of the proverbial isle you stand, or if you stand in the middle of the isle, outside in the hall, up in the attic, down in the basement or way out in the backyard with your head in the sand… this is all so bizarre.

Onward.

I’ve been playing with my new camera lens and eventually got a few moon shots I’m pretty happy with… one was an evening shot without a tripod so there is blur from the slight motion of holding up a camera with a really big lens…

And a few days later – this morning at 7 a.m., a moonset over the hill behind the barn… The tripod makes a huge difference when you’re trying to capture clarity… see the craters below? Amazing when you think of the distance between me and that moon, what a camera can do?

Meanwhile, down at Stella by the sea, another photographer who catches some beautiful landscape shots on the shoreline took this awesome photo in our cove… that’s one hardy clammer right there at very low tide.

Speaking of the cottage and cove – On one particularly cold afternoon I made this sea glass tree to hang on the wall down at the cottage. It was surprisingly easy to put together, the simple materials not expensive at all, and I love sea glass displayed in a way you can see all the pieces. When the natural light hits this piece, the sea.and.salt tumbled glass looks beautiful. If you’ve got sea glass you’d like to create something with, Pinterest, that great time suck, has tons of ideas.

It’s superbowl time! Do you have a favorite? I’m a Patriots fan.. they have many many fans, and just as many haters, funny thing. I had a football boyfriend in HS and our team back in the day was incredible – our senior year was a shut out season and in a burrough of NY, there’s a lot of talent. Currently one of our schoolmates has just been taken on by the Giants as a defensive coach. I went to every single game wearing one of the BF’s ratty old jerseys, cheering like no one’s business in the stands with my friends. It’s how I came to truly understand and love the game itself, except for the violence in those tackles. Yes I know, there isn’t one without the other, truth.

Here’s a recipe I’m making tomorrow, it’s always a hit and great superbowl fare if you’re serving it up. Easy to put together too, we can all use some -easy-, no?

Pillsbury Antipasto Squares… recipe HERE.

Go Pats! Let’s hope the commercials are not political and just plain fun or inspirational. We could all use a little of that…

Have a good weekend, all –

The care and keeping of souls

Do animals have “souls”? Technically, people and animals consist of the working parts of the body and the powerful mind. I’ve always marveled at what makes us the essence of who we are, though. What gives us emotions and a conscience, or lack of one? Is it the soul? If you’re religious and depending on who interprets it, the Bible implies all living creatures have souls. Heaven isn’t given an absolutely clear description, for how can anyone know it’s truth until they have passed on… but in the bible, animals are mentioned as present in the afterlife. For me, Heaven would be no place to be if there were no animals. Many would argue Jesus didn’t die on the cross for the souls of the animals. I say many animals are more loyal, loving and giving and worthy than some people walking this earth. Animals have been making survival possible for us humans in so many ways for all the years humans have existed, whether working in the fields, as food, as companionship, transportation and protection. …. seems to me only fitting that a kind and loving God would feel they deserve the afterlife, too.

I have loved and taken care of animals since I was old enough to pet the family dog. As a child, having the restraints of living in a suburb, at various times I managed to tend to a pigeon, a goat, our dogs, our cats, a few parakeets, some fancy silk mice, a hamster or two. My parents allowed what was reasonable at our residence but I knew as an adult I wanted to be able to do much more. The logical career choice for a kid such as myself would be veterinarian. It was indeed listed on any school papers where we chose what we’d like to be when we grow up. That all changed when I had to take one of our cats to the vet to remove bee bee’s someone had shot into her hind legs. I tried staying with them for the procedure but the excising made me nauseous and woozy. Onward!

I landed in Connecticut at the age of 19 with an old abandoned race horse that I adopted on Staten Island. He was around 28 at the time and had two more good years in a pasture on my Aunt’s horse farm just up the road from This Old House. From there, after college and while working in a law firm I met and married my husband and together we built our first small horse farm and our family. We currently live on our third farm, so I’ve been taking care of horses on a daily basis for the past 30-plus years.

While living on a farm can seen romantic, it’s a heck of a lot of work and dedication to something you love. Every single day, without exception, regardless of weather, the responsibility demands that you get up and out in the morning to feed and water the animals. Their living quarters needs to be mucked and fresh bedding laid down. They are turned out into pastures if they’re lucky or at the very least, paddocks. Then, whatever you’ve got going on during the day, you need to return to feed them again in the evening, refresh waters if needed, check for any cuts, scrapes, etc. Horses need grooming, regular trims or shoeing from a farrier, they need exercise. It’s a lot to take on and requires real dedication.. and love!

We have dogs and used to have cats too, most of you are familiar with their necessary care. We’ve also got a coop full of chickens, something I decided to set up here about 7 years ago. Chickens aren’t as much work as the horses, but they still require daily care. Their feed needs to be replenished, their water cleaned out and refreshed. I clean out the coop about once a week, unlike the horses daily stall cleaning. Their chicken yard needs to be raked to stay fairly sanitary – no easy feat with chickens, they are messy. I let them out to free range occasionally, but not always. Coyotes and hawks are a big problem around here.

Often I’m asked by family and friends… aren’t you tired of having to do all that work all the time? Every. Single. Day? The answer is complicated.

Yes.. there are days when I really don’t want to trudge up the muddy or snowy or frozen hill in the early morning hours to tend the horses. There are cold winter nights when I don’t want to leave the warmth of the fire or the family holiday gathering to bring in and feed the animals. Having fibromyalgia means there are days when every muscle in my body aches and the last thing I feel like doing is mucking those stalls, lugging those water buckets, throwing that hay. But these animals I have here on this farm have taken care of us over the years. They have been my therapy in troubled times, they have been dependable, sturdy souls who did what we asked of them, and sometimes that was a heck of a lot. We are all middle middle aged now, the horses and myself. They deserve to be cared for properly, they earned it.

If you think animals don’t have emotions, then you’ve never really spent time or developed a relationship with one. Do you define intelligence as the indicator of the presence of a soul? It’s proven Dolphins have a language they use to communicate with each other. Dogs can be taught an amazing array of communicating and they certainly display emotions such as happy, sad, frightened, lonely, jealousy, exuberance, pain, even loss. Gorillas have learned sign language to communicate with humans, and that they do. These are just some example of what I believe are evidence that animals have souls, whatever that may mean.

I call our little crew the geriatric ward now..

Coady and Lacey are mini horses, both have been used as therapy horses in nursing homes, rehab facilities, back in the day. Lacey was a driving horse for myself and a good friend for years as well. Many a mile did we cover in our little carts, Lacey at the helm taking us through the meadows and woods. The photo below was taken at a carriage driving demonstration. Most days our attire was tee shirts and jeans. We’re both a little chubbier now.

Lacey is aging well, but Coady has cushings disease. He requires a daily pill to help manage the symptoms.

Opie is my Steady Eddie. He came to us at 8 years of age and is now 21 years old. We’ve gone on many a trail ride, and when the going gets rough – like a big scary bridge to cross or a stream to get through, we can count on Opie to be the first to walk across and let the other horses know it’s OK to move forward. He can be a little stinker, not wanting to work more than he has to, but he’s always honest and for the most part, predictable. I can put the tiniest babe in the saddle and walk them around the ring knowing he’ll keep his head down and just do his job. He’s aging well, except for an eye condition that occasionally requires two sets of ointments to clear the cloudy.

Max, my daughters horse, is another Steady Eddie – with quite the accomplishments under his belt. He didn’t come to us until he was 18 years of age.. having already traveled parts of the country as a show horse for several other owners. K had three great show years with him and then he colicked, bad. We opted for surgery to save him and he did survive the ordeal, but it was clear retirement was the best thing for him. So, we brought him home to recover and enjoy the good life here on the farm.

Since his surgery Max has trouble keeping weight on, so we keep him warm in winter and feed him plenty of good quality feed and hay and he grazes in the fields during the day. It’s the least we can do for all he has given us over the years and continues in his light work on trails and in the ring.

The girls in the coop aren’t much trouble, and the fresh eggs they provide are wonderful. If you’ve never had fresh eggs off the farm, you’re missing something. Go seek them out and taste the difference for yourself. Right now, in the middle of winter! go figure… some of mine are molting. I have a cozy coop heater in their hen house, so they are able to stay warm when the temps get real low and their water doesn’t freeze.

My little pack of dogs… they are my best buddies. They follow me around the house throughout the day, and if I’m up at the barn and they aren’t outside in the dog yard watching me work, they wait for me to return at the side door. When I’m working at the computer, they are all around my feet. If I’m in the kitchen, they lay in the sun spots at the sliders and listen for the sound of wrappers crinkling or refridge door opening or treat jar cover clanking. They mope when we are away on a mini vacation (which isn’t often… because FARM) and they rejoice when we return even from a half hour errand. They bicker among themselves but never harm each other, and are often found snoozing together in a tight little circle.

Ben, the largest by far, is not the boss. No, the littlest of them all calls the shots. That would be the white fluff, Bailey.

Miss Sally is my most recent rescue. As she as matured her front legs have become extremely twisted. It is a deformity, a result of either some very poor breeding or just crap luck. She manages well, runs like the wind and loves to go for walks. But when sitting or standing still, her little front legs constantly give out so that she is usually laying down rather than sitting or standing. The vet assures me she’s not in pain, it’s more painful for us to see than for her to live with. For now, at least, that appears to be the case.

Frasier is a momma’s boy – he’s very jealous when I pay attention to any other creature, his most favorite place to be is on my lap, and he is fiercely protective of me, even more so than the dane, Ben. He gives me this face when I leave on errands….

He is very definitely my best bud.

So, would I let the horses down at this stage of the game and try to dump them off at an auction or find that ever elusive “retirement” home and hope someone else won’t use then and abuse them in a way that is so undeserving of all the service they have provided us? Nope – it’s not an option. This geriatric crew is here to stay and as long as I’m able, I will trudge up the hill and out to the coop and tend the little chicken flock and dog pack I have here because I love them all dearly, they are family. I wish all people who took on the responsibility of a pet or livestock would understand and honor the responsibility and go the distance in caring for them throughout their life or at the very least, hand them off to someone who will.

Do these animals have souls despite the fact that their intelligence doesn’t match our own (and with some people I question that very thing) ? Their soul is as real as that of any human if you ask me. If there are no animals in heaven, then heaven is not place for me.

Till soon, friends –

Abandoned North Brother Island

Having grown up on Staten Island in New York, it’s hard for me to believe I never heard of North and South Brother Islands in the East River until it popped up on my facebook feed recently. Both Islands are completely abandoned since the early 1960’s. Either that or it was buried in a history lesson at school and distracted youth prohibited me from paying attention.

Note* The island and facilities are not open to the public. The following photos were taken from various photographers and historians who gained permission to access the island. My resources were found on the internet. These are not my images. Hopefully those affiliated with these images won’t mind the sharing, since no money is made on this blog.

A little history – the North and South Brother Islands are a pair of very small islands located in NYC’s East River between the Bronx and Rikers Island (notorious for it’s hardcore prison). North Brother island was originally the location of a quarantine facility built around 1885, the Riverside Hospital, and housing among other outbuildings.

North Brother Island consists of approximately 20 acres, but the number varies depending on source. It had long been privately owned until 2007 when it was purchased by the city.

Aerial view..

In it’s day, the Hospital treated a variety of diseases including typhus, leprosy, small pox, tuberculosis, scarlet fever, venereal disease and drug addiction.

Have you heard of Typhoid Mary? Ever wonder where that expression came from? Mary Mallon was an immigrant cook from Ireland. Although she was immune to the disease, it was discovered she was a carrier for typhus. Working as a cook, she spread the disease in New York to approx. 50 people and long story short, ended up quarantined for over 30 years on North Brother Island even though she was “healthy”.

Historian and photographer, Ian Ference has been given access to the island and took some incredible photos, some of which are used here.

Says Ian…

“This has got to be one of America’s most important places to visit. Historically it has had a notorious and sometimes sinister reputation. It was established as a forced quarantine camp for people suffering from infectious and often fatal diseases such as typhoid, scarlet fever, yellow fever and thyphus. There were six people suffering from leprosy here in wooden huts.

New York was taking in a huge number of immigrants in the late nineteenth and earth twentieth centuries – and new arrivals were forced to live in crowded and unsanitary conditions. Diseases would inevitably spread and once the health authorities identified a person as having a communicable disease they were seized and forced to live on North Brother Island – unless they were rich enough to afford a private clinic. Conditions were bad – the mortality rate among patients was high and the recovery rate low. There was no telephony in those early days so once people were grabbed and taken there – they were often never heard from again by their families.’

Then….

and now…

The island is off limits to the public with the exception of city police and a handful of bird experts, who have a special interest in its colony of black-crowned night herons. Before closing it was used for housing for War Veterans, and then a drug rehabilitation facility until 1963, when the doors on the island buildings and grounds were closed permanently.

If you’re a shutterbug like me, you’ve probably browsed this post thinking the same thing I did – to be able to explore this island with camera in hand would be a dream come true. That this forgotten facility has not found another use, all these beautiful old buildings being pulled back down into the flora and fauna of the island, is a sad tale of ..what, I’m not sure. Poor management on the part of the city? Seems such a waste of potential for the many needs still out there – Homeless Veterans, elderly or affordable housing, homeless shelter, substance treatment facility, rehab facility, animal shelter, ….. the list goes on. If there is such a thing as a haunted place, I imagine many a restless spirit paces these grounds at night..

If these old walls could talk…..

Till soon, friends..

Heavy and Light

For lemon lovers, here’s a cupcake frosting recipe I found on Pinterest, the recipe and photo originated at rosebakes.com.

Lemon Cream Cheese Frosting

INGREDIENTS

2 sticks of real (salted) butter, at room temperature
4 ounces of shortening
4 ounces of cream cheese, at room temperature
1/2 Tablespoon vanilla extract
8-9 cups of powdered sugar
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
2-3 Tablespoons milk

INSTRUCTIONS

In a large mixing bowl, cream together the butter, shortening, and cream cheese until very smooth. Add in the vanilla and mix again.
Begin adding powdered sugar, one cup at a time up to 8 cups.
Your frosting will be very stiff at this point – now add in the lemon juice and 2 tablespoons of milk.
Mix and check the consistency.
From here, I had to add a little more powdered sugar (it was too soft) but then I went too far, so I added a little more milk. Just play with it until you get a consistency you’re happy with! I made mine on the softer side so it was silky smooth …

And since we started with a sugary treat, let’s balance it with something healthy. Oh the struggle is real, a balance I don’t always get right. This recipe and photo courtesy Wellplated.com

Tomato Eggplant Zucchini Bake with Garlic and Parmesan.

Produce

1/4 cup Basil, fresh
1 pint Cherry or grape tomatoes
1 Eggplant, small medium
4 large cloves Garlic
1/4 cup Parsley, fresh
3 Zucchini (about 1 1/2 pounds), medium

Spices

1/4 tsp Black pepper, ground
1/4 tsp Kosher salt

1 tbsp Olive oil, extra-virgin

2/3 cup Parmesan cheese

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease a deep 9×9-inch baking dish or similar 3 1/2-quart casserole dish with nonstick spray.

Quarter the zucchini then cut into 1/2-inch slices and place in a large mixing bowl (each piece of zucchini should be roughly 1/2 to 3/4 inches in size). Next, slice the eggplant into 1/4-inch rounds, then stack the rounds and cut into roughly 3/4-inch pieces. Add to the bowl with the zucchini. Halve the cherry tomatoes and add them to the bowl. Drizzle the cut vegetables with the olive oil, then add the garlic, salt, pepper, 1/3 cup of the Parmesan cheese, and half of the basil and parsley. Toss gently to combine.

Transfer the vegetables to the prepared baking dish. Bake for 25 minutes, cover the pan with aluminum foil, then continue baking for 10 to 20 additional minutes, until the vegetables are tender. Sprinkle with the remaining Parmesan cheese, basil, and parsley. Serve warm.

As for this government shut down – 45 once said it is the President’s fault when the government shuts down – He also said it would never happen on his watch because he is the great deal maker. There is actually a documentary about his first year in office – consisting of his 2000 lies told in this first year. He’s since added at least 50. That this is OK with ANYONE, for any reason and on any level.. is flabbergasting.

Women are marching again this weekend – I’m not attending but I’ve donated to the cause once again and bought the tee shirt too, because I think it’s so important to call this blossoming bullshit what it is. None of it’s new.. but it’s found a stronger foothold thanks to 45, hard to imagine in these “enlightened” times. We’ve gone backward as a society, not forward, and at an alarming speed.

I’m convinced it will be women who save humanity eventually. Men have been in charge till now and look how they’ve managed to f*ck it all up. *** TO BE CLEAR – there are many, many decent men out there. Many. Just not the ones who currently wield all the power… and if you look at our world history – it’s man’s ego and greed that dragged us through the ugliest times. I think it’s women who will eventually make this world a more humane place in every aspect. Not as superiors to men, but as equals. We have certainly earned our place.

On the fitness front – I’ve stopped beating myself up over failed attempts to achieve my best body weight. Life hands you enough insults, no? I’m tired of adding to the heap, so I’ve been working on my interior voice – the one that shouts when I look in the mirror “You’re still fat! WTF! Stop the nonsense! Girl, where’s your will power?”… have you heard that interior voice too? She sucks.. she’s sapping the joy right out of everything and it truly doesn’t help the cause.

So this is what I’m working on…the new dialogue from the inside – OK – today’s a new day – so far you’ve managed a good intake of water and you’ve been out for that hike with the dogs. Most of your food choices were healthy. You need to work on the portion sizes, and you know you didn’t need the cupcake, but it’s done. Let’s do better tomorrow, but you got some good stuff in there today. Onward.

So much better, right?

I’m walking every day that it’s not absolutely frigid – a few miles anyway, up and down hills and some nice straightaways. I’m drinking more water – these two things are so important for all of us, mild exercise regularly and hydration. I have found that filling up a favorite large mug of water and leaving it out on the counter at room temperature has been a successful habit to form. I’m drinking more water and I’m not using all that plastic from refrigerated bottles. Room temperature water is easier to drink, too.

I take Vitamin B12, D3 and Biotin daily. I’m finding sticking to the combination of all these things is helping the Fibromyalgia and I am feeling better and stronger over all. As we get older, any significant slacking off comes home to roost quickly. It’s important to keep moving, keep striving to gain or keep better health. Doesn’t have to be an obsession, just a gentle daily process with a little wiggle room and forgiveness when you don’t get it perfect.

*That word shouldn’t exist, truth be told. Nothing.. is perfect, ever.

What steps do you take for your well being, emotionally and physically? Feel free to share them in the comments below – and I’ll leave you with a little gem a friend shared on her page..

Till soon, friends –

When the new way isn’t the best way

I’m 52 years old. That means I grew up before cell phones, before personal computers, before the term “helicopter parent” was coined. Raised in a suburb of the Big Apple, our neighborhood was our playground. On weekends we were out in the ‘hood till dinner time, then out again till the streetlights went on. If mom wanted me in, she called over the fence or rang the neighbors house in the vicinity of where we were playing. Playing!.. kickball, tag, bikes, skateboards, House Boat in our neighbors lawnmower trailer (our seating consisted of peat moss bags and we considered it luxurious).

Twelve years was the standard age to begin babysitting, and being located in an apparently fertile neighborhood, there were many charges to “sit”. My friends and I jumped right in to the babysitters pool as soon as we were of age. At fourteen I worked at the Staten Island zoo taking care of the ponies at the pony ride track. I also cleaned house for an elderly neighbor and at sixteen I waitressed at a catering hall near our home. That might sound like a lot but it wasn’t, not in that day. Most everyone I knew was doing the same and if you’re near my age or older, your story is probably similar. It was expected of us, and we liked the feeling of making our own money, playing grown-up in this little way, learning.. what it means to be responsible, to be an adult.

In elementary school I walked to and from the school with friends. I was expected to get myself there and home again, along with everyone else. I was bullied a little by a few local boys briefly, but figured out how to show them I wasn’t taking their crap. (flipped one over my shoulder, as he tried taking my hat for the 15th time. We are friends to this day) As teens we experienced a flare of racial tension at the high school and as I traveled to and from school on the public transit bus and joined a predominantly black track team, a few of those girls tried bullying me. I understood their problem with accepting me, they had experienced the ugliness of racism and it’s hard to know who to trust, so the walls go up. Eventually we found our way to a mutual respect and then a friendship. We had all figured out how to turn it around, on our own.

Here’s why I just typed all that out. There’s a trend I’m hearing and seeing in this community and it’s happening all over the country – young people having a really difficult time in their teen years with anxiety, severe depression, eating disorders, behavioral issues, substance abuse. It’s not like those are new issues, but it seems to me and a few friends I’ve discussed this with, that they are far more prevalent now than they ever were before.

My son, now 21, came to have lunch with me at the house today. I asked him what he thought about this particular issue and what he said kinda shocked me, and then made a heck of a lot of sense.

” Kids today have everything done for them. Anything goes wrong, mom or dad sweep in and take care of it. When we were in High School, how many kids actually had a job besides school? Not very many. Even in college, how many had a job? The schools are set up now in a way that if there’s any problem whatsoever, the school steps in and manages the crisis or doesn’t allow the scuffle or makes a team or award all about equal time or participation instead of earned accomplishment. So when a real life crisis comes along or a goal is hard to reach, and those factors like parent or school aren’t in the vicinity to manage it, the kid has no tools to manage it for himself. He/she doesn’t know what to do because he/she has never had to figure it out for himself. ”

He continued… “Social Media is a bad influence- most people post their very best selves, so all you see is a perfect life on the screen, not all the realities. It’s not an honest picture of real life. You’re feeling insecure about your looks or your life and you see how perfect everyone else’s life appears on the screen and it makes you feel worse about yourself. It’s also easier to bully someone if you’re not face to face. Social Media is not a great thing for young people”.

* don’t we all see older people behaving pretty badly on social media as well

BOOM.

It’s not lost on me that I have at times absolutely been a helicopter mom. Funny thing – I have always been a fierce protector of my children and despite all those efforts I have not been able to keep them from experiencing some hard realities life throws at you. Something I think I got right – they were given responsibilities and expected to pull their weight around the house and in their places of employ and at school. There were consequences if they didn’t. I’m very lucky that despite handing them those phones at a fairly young age, and admittedly because it helped me keep in touch with them and keep my own anxiety in check regarding their whereabouts, we have managed to make it through those years and into adulthood without some of the real damage this new way of being has apparently caused so many young people.

Note: Depression and Anxiety among other mental health issues is a very real thing, I’m not making light of it. I deal with anxiety myself, although thankfully it doesn’t cripple me. Genetics and environment play a role, too, and on this subject I am no expert.

What’s the answer? One thought I have – maybe the way we were raised didn’t need much fixing. Maybe doing everything for our kids is actually harming them instead of making life better than how we had it. Maybe how we had it.. was pretty darn good. As for those smartphones- well, it’s real hard to go backwards when the tool itself is so useful in so many ways. I hope we all figure it out before this next generation is ruined. Sometimes, the new way isn’t the best way..

Till soon, friends –

Ice jam and a close encounter of the very best kind

After hours of editing work at the computer yesterday, I needed to get up from the desk and out for some fresh air. Several friends and news channels were talking about the massive ice floes on the Connecticut River and the images were incredible. I grabbed my camera and drove down to what I thought would be a good reference spot…the Chester Ferry dock. This is what I found before reaching the river…

The road to the ferry dock was flooded. We’ve had extreme cold temps lately and that big, long, rolling river actually froze in places. Then we experienced milder temps and rain, which melted the snow and some of the ice, hence flood. Up and down the river, docks are under water. Some residents have had to evacuate their homes, others have been stranded in place, waiting for the water to recede.

A little info about the CT River – It’s the longest river in the New England region of the United States and is approximately 406 miles long. It runs through four US states, rising at the border with Quebec, Canada and emptying into Long Island Sound here in CT.

I gave the Jeep a job to do- drove her through that mess to see if I could get closer to water’s edge. On the other side of the flooded section of road stood a lovely couple who live on a beautiful panoramic rise above the river. The gentleman waved me through the best angle to proceed and I stopped to thank him. Noting my camera and that monstrous lens, they invited me up to take advantage of their view, and oh what a view they have. Bald eagles are regular visitors, can you imagine…

For me, our interaction amounted to much more than access to a stunning panorama. I’ve been letting world news drag me down, been feeling disheartened by the evidence of lack of empathy and the assault on humanity I see in some of our society’s response to 45’s behaviors. I took a few shots with my camera and was invited inside their home, where we talked about gardens, wildlife, wonderful books of which they have authored, good bread baking and home making. Such good and kind and generous people.. our brief encounter was soul soothing, life affirming, a huge comfort. A friend of mind calls this kind of exchange a God wink.

Indeed, this is their view across the river. For more information on Gillette Castle State Park, click HERE.

Docks and wetlands under water ….

Now, from where we were at this vantage point, the water was flowing freely without much ice. Just up river at the East Haddam Bridge, however, there is what they call an Ice Jam. The photo below was taken yesterday by another photographer ….

Ice jams occur when ice covered rivers warm up after a rain and/or snowmelt. They rise quickly and the ice breaks up in big chunks. A jam occurs where the river narrow or goes under a bridge – in this case, the East Haddam Bridge. The ice chunks accumulate and clog. This is not a frequent occurence, and in my 30-plus years in CT I don’t remember it happening before. The Coast Guard is in the process of trying to break through it to get the flow going…

After our visit I left their oasis with a lighter heart and a delicious loaf of bread. I headed up river to the bridge to see what I could see…

Just under the bridge you can see the clog line. The Goodspeed Opera House is on the right.

The blue hues in the ice make it look like gemstone, or an iguana! Fun fact (googled) – Ice only appears blue when it is sufficiently consolidated that bubbles do not interfere with the passage of light. Without the scattering effect of air bubbles, light can penetrate ice undisturbed. In ice, the absorption of light at the red end of the spectrum is six times greater than at the blue end. Thus the deeper light energy travels, the more photons from the red end of the spectrum it loses along the way. Basically, as the air bubbles are squeezed out, the ice becomes denser and bubbles are replaced by more ice crystals. This, along with other optical tricks mentioned above, makes the ice appear blue or turquoise.

Finally I stopped another mile up river at a favorite riverfront marina and dining spot.. the Blue Oar. This area is above the bridge and as of yesterday the jammed ice floe is up in the parking lot and around the seating area. Crazy.

A report from a friend says she spies large junks of ice heading downstream, hopefully evidence that the jam is clearing.

Till soon –

Frozen Cove

We had two days of 50’s temps and pouring rain for one of them, much of the previous storm’s snow gone. It was practically Tee shirt weather, I’m tellin ya! Today.. however.. we woke up to temps in the 40’s… now dipping down and shall reach the teens again.

The Mr. and I drove down to Stella, our cottage-by-the-sea, with the intention of getting a walk in around the island. When we got there, however, the wind and cold changed our minds. I did walk around with my camera to capture the beauty of this frozen world at water’s edge.

Where the water was exposed, the sun’s reflections danced like diamonds… this is not edited.. see the shapes of the sunlight on the water…. it was amazing to behold.

To give you a sense of the scope of the place… that’s me with camera out there on the little jetty off the swimming beach. Those large chunks of ice rise and fall with the tide and current and incoming waves, staying together in their jigsaw puzzle formation as they shift and bobble in the surf. Occasionally there’s a large cracking sound, so deep and loud even my half-deaf self can hear it. Truly peaceful out there today, silent but for those sounds – I breathed deep, let the cold salty air fill my lungs and let the tide of anger and fear for our Country leave me with every exhale.

Till soon, friends….