Lived Moments For Vicky

   Blog friend Vicky ( – visit HERE -)   is in the throws of more Stage 4 cancer treatment.  And to put it in simplest terms, it surely throws her.    She recently wrote that while recuperating from debilitating side effects, she’s living through others, enjoying pictures on FB, stories on blogs, etc.  Her advice is always to live your moments and she’s been doing that very thing herself.

  Won’t you share here in the comments section – an enjoyable moment or experience you’ve had this summer – If you’ve got a blog, dedicate a post to this and title it “Lived Moments For Vicky”. Copy and paste the link to your blog post in my comments section below this post.    A few photos you’ve taken or an uplifting experience or story you have to tell would be awesome.

  I don’t have the readership I used to here on this blog, but lets see what we can generate from those of you who still drop by –

Vicky – these pictures were taken yesterday in Newport, RI.  Not at the mansions, where so many venture – but down at the water, where people enjoy the simplest pleasures –  my favorite Newport experience.

OK, so I lied……..

  … not intentionally.  But today I came to this place and just wanted to blab on, so I guess I’m not  – letting it be –  as much as I originally thought.   Perhaps I’ll just write when it appeals to me and I won’t fault any of you for not stopping by… because who wants to visit a vacant space?  The main reason I started blogging was to document our journey for my family ( who might never bother with this blog ever, but hey, here it is regardless).   Really, it’s for me.

  SO … ME .. wants to share a few things with you today.    Let me tell you about my love of  JEEPS.  I’ve had two… a Laredo years ago when I was very young and madly in love.. .with my Jeep.  When it came time to trade it in for something more practical for our growing family, I cried.  And cried.   On the way to the dealership.. I cried.  AT the dealership… there stood the shiny new Toyota 4 runner… the TRAITOR vehicle..and I cried.  I cried as they handed me the keys and I handed them mine.   I hated that 4 runner probably because it severed me from my beloved Jeep.  I traded that in a year later. No tears shed.

  There were other BIG rigs after that – to pull a horse trailer and loads of luggage when we  went on family excursions and soccer games and baseball games and all the equipment and extra kids that come with it.

   The kids grew up some and I landed another Jeep as the hauling requirements lessened. This next Jeep was the Overland… I did love it.  The Hemi in particular.  BUT… even though I was back in a Jeep, there was something missing… Something…

   Time rolls on, the Jeep wracks up the miles, a few things start going wrong with the electrical stuff and the water pump blows.  Big recall comes in the mail.  That’s all the husband needs to say – Time to turn her in.   And… I see Jeep Wranglers in my sleep, I’m so ready to own one. My kids have their own vehicles now, no need for all that practicality.

    I stop by the dealership, get the numbers.  Now I’m getting excited.  There happens to be a YELLOW with black roof sitting right outside the office windows and my eyes keep going over to it as we’re discussing possible deals.  I am not a fan of yellow, on me, at least.  But something about it.  The Salesman says –  let me go get the keys – take it for the day, try it on.

OMG.

   I drive it around, I drive it home. Everyone is looking at it because –  BUMBLE BEE YELLOW to the 10th power.  I’m starting to like it.  Actually, I’m starting to love it.  Not because everyone’s looking at it, but because I CAN’T STOP LOOKING AT IT.

 And then there was Mike.

   “Good God you are not parking a taxi cab in front of the house every single ever loving day.   NO.   Not happening.  ANYTHING.. but THAT.    It’s a piece of fruit, it’s not a vehicle!”.

  You’re catching his vibe, right?

So I didn’t bother finishing out the day with my queen bee jeep.  I took her right back because  she went over like a  _______________________________  you fill in the blank.

   THIS…. is what I ended up with a few weeks down the road.  And can I just tell you… I am madly in love again.  Even bought her new sneakers.

     

  Now let me tell you about the Jeep Wave.   Have you heard of it?  Do you know it intimately? Even though this is my third Jeep, it’s my first WRANGLER.   Only Wranglers are worthy of the Jeep wave.   If you’re buzzing down the road in your Overland or your Liberty, don’t wave – you’re not part of the phenomenon.    And, to some, the Jeep Wave is only reserved for those who live the true Wrangler Lifestyle – meaning two door vehicles with doors and top off most of the time, mud and scratches and all that goes with off roading clearly visible on your TRUE Jeep… and there had better be some modifications.     For those die hards –  they wave only to those that apply.   A middle aged FOUR DOOR Wrangler girl like myself?  Not worthy of the wave.  I’m not joking you here – just google the Jeep wave and holy hell, you’ll see all the forums.  It’s actually comical.

  So, I rolled out of the dealership on Saturday in my beloved new 4 door Sahara Wrangler and  within five minutes I had passed three Wrangler folks who waved!  Then there was the middle aged woman in the brand new 4 door Sahara Wrangler who didn’t wave.  She’s probably been snubbed by the die-hards one too many times.  And if she hasn’t.. then I want her to get this message –  WAVE, you ninnie!.. you’re ruining the tradition, fortifying the myth that middle aged women in wranglers don’t wave because they’re snobs!    ( There’s that too).

  I’m a waving fool now… in the two days I’ve owned my adored Jeep, I’ve waved to about ten other Wrangler drivers and they were all obliging except the one.   It’s a beautiful thing… the feeling of being a part of something bigger, of sharing a love for a vehicle, and showing a kindness, even just a two second wave, to a stranger.

   Too bad there isn’t a wave just for the humanity of it, something we could all participate in. Something that represents the simple fact that we’re all in this together, regardless of our differences.

  Oh wait.. there is.

The one where she says, Let it Be.. for now.

  So. There’s plenty to share, always.  But I’m finding I don’t have the motivation to do a decent job here lately on this blog.  My comments section has dwindled and followers fewer, and I was asked if I mind that a little.  Well, when I blogged almost daily, it’s true there were many more readers and sometimes 30 or 40 comments. It was wonderful to converse with so many, and get different points of views, tips, tricks, or just shared laughs.   
    But part of that interaction depends on following others blogs as well, and leaving comments there, so they know you’re still paying attention.   While I do still drop in from time to time, especially on the blogs where I have become friends with the author, it’s not a regular practice.  I think having to do a large part of my job on the computer  makes me want to just get AWAY from the computer when I’m done with work. I’ve become friends with some of you on Facebook and I find that to be wonderful – we’re still keeping in touch with each other, even more so.
    I sat down here just now and said.. I really should do a blog post…  But… why is that?  I think I really oughta go fold the laundry and pick the beans out in the garden I know need picking and get going on dinner for the crew.    Jeez, maybe I’ll even finish the book I’m reading  – (Where’d you go, Bernadette? ) –  a good, humorous read if you’re looking for something different.  And if I’m not feeling inspired to share something here with you, why would you be inspired to read it, right? 
   So I think for a little while I am going to just ‘ Let it Be’  – This Old House 2  can sit here by itself for a spell. Know that I’m out living life, and I’ll stop in and visit you from time to time too. Wishing you all good health, contentment and peace of mind.
– Karen


the 4th and things that go bump in the night….

   The 4th of July weekend weather was beautiful – we had just a few family members over for some food and fun and RELAXATION – something we don’t do enough of around here.. if you’re asking me.  The only glitch was poor Frasier, who gets frantic when thunder or fireworks appear. 
     The hay was harvested and we had some fun before the rolls were taken away…

   
  On another note – mom took a tumble in a parking garage in Hartford last week and we spent a bit of time at the Hartford Hospital ER.   Ever try to remain perfectly calm with very little HORRIFIED expression on your face as you sit with a person who’s arm is, you know, NOT ALIGNED and at a peculiar angle …and  said person is asking you if they should look at it… and you try like hell not to sound like you’re hyperventilating as you say.. HELL NO!  DO NOT LOOK AT IT. NOPE!!.. JUST DON’T!… 
I don’t know.. I think I really should have just gone with a simple “Nah, just keep looking over here”. 
But I don’t think I came remotely close. 
Anyway, Mom was a trooper through the whole damned thing – surgery tomorrow.  Say a little prayer for the plate and screw revival.

Sending it up into the Universe – Why ever not

     I’m what some have referred to as a high-rev person.  Even my heart rate is higher than the average Joe, always has been – jeez, I hope I’m not wearing the old ticker out.  I’ve got a lot of energy, some of it -nervous- energy.  That’s not  the most awesome thing,  and because anxiety has seeped into my being at a few difficult points in my life, I’ve searched  for ways to alleviate it over the years.
     One of the benefits of being a fifty year old… and there are indeed benefits, ( who woulda thunk it!?)… is I am willing and able to slow down and appreciate all the little things in life so much more than I ever did when I was younger.    I actually sat down on the porch yesterday at around 2 pm and read a chapter out of the book I’m reading –  All the Light We Cannot See –    (Wow, great read.  Gives you a little unusual perspective on a time in history we are too young to have known.)   I hardly ever take that kind of time, and you know.. why ever not?

    Today I stepped out into a glorious early summer morning with the sun shining, dew on the grass, and gentle breezes from up over the hill that carried the slight scent of ocean.  We’re about five miles from it but we’re way up high, and occasionally the sea air makes it to us. The awareness of it always makes me stop, turn toward the water and breathe it in.

   

      The chickens love their morning treats – today it was left over hard boiled eggs (I know that sounds cannibalistic)..and sunflower seeds.  Then, because the manchild is out there mowing the lawn, I let them out for some free ranging . While he’s making noise on the mower, predators won’t feel comfortable attacking.

 
    Our bunnies, Harley and Cloud, love to get out too.

    After the chickens and rabbits are fed, watered and  pens cleaned up, I head up to the barn to feed, water, turn out and muck stalls.  Glamorous, it ain’t.. but there’s truly no place on earth I’d rather be.  I’ve had the office job, the factory job, the zoo job, another office job.  I’ve known the 8-4:30 deal in a windowless office.  I did it well while I had to… but I can’t express enough how grateful I am that I was able to get away from it and raise my kids myself, till soil and shovel sh*t and pluck eggs from nesting boxes and sweep isles and pull weeds etc. etc. etc.

   On the crappiest weather days I do have to remind myself that I really shouldn’t be complaining.  Well worth the slight discomfort or rain and cold and heat.

     This morning I stopped to watch the boys head up to their favorite grazing field, admiring the shine on their glossy coats from all that pasture grass.  They are lucky lucky horses, and I am a lucky girl to be able to provide this life for them. 

Sometimes, lately, my “barn” clothes consist of something like today’s ensemble…
an upcycled twirly skirt and my red  paisley floral sloggers. 
Why ever not. 

So glad I’ve learned to slow down enough to see and appreciate it all.
Especially the little things.
It’s also refreshing to not take one’s self too seriously, you know?  
I’m sending this up into the Universe….
THANK YOU to the powers that be…
for this life that I have and cherish. 

Tied up.

 Yesterday on FB there was an article posted by a horse publication about the art of tying a horse up to a patience pole.  It’s a very common practice in the western world. I’ve seen it many times.  Horses are tied to a “patience pole” or a stall door or inside their stall or tied to the ceiling of an indoor… for hours at a time.  Some were just ridden for an hour or two, already tired,  and then they are tied… to teach them patience.  Sometimes they’re out in sweltering sun, sometimes their tack is left on.  Sometimes they’re tied so short they can’t move their head six inches. I’m not talking about tying them safely so they don’t get tangled, I’m talking tying them in a way so that they can’t truly rest their head at normal level and they become exhausted.   Very prominent trainers in the horse world use this method, there’s no doubt.   They swear by it and claim there is no cruelty.  Article below by one of the most respected.  I know he believes what he’s saying, as do many many of his fans.  I don’t think he’s a cruel individual.

 I wrote on that post yesterday that I have witnessed the practice many times, and I do feel it is inhumane to leave a horse tied in this way for hours on end and I don’t believe for one minute the horse is standing there contemplating what he was just taught while being ridden.  We’re smarter than the horse and if I tethered you to a pole for three hours after putting you to hard work, I don’t think you’d be contemplating what you had just learned.    HOURS, as in very long periods of time.  That was the jist of my comment. 

  What followed was backlash from fans of the method who called me stupid, naive, smartmouthed, dumb,just plain lucky that I didn’t have to use that method on my horses yet achieved the result of a quiet well behaved horse.  I was asked if I know horses at all, so I explained my background and that I’m not hailing myself as a trainer or calling trainers evil.. I just don’t think some of the methods used are humane.   No matter what I said… the name calling continued… without any conversation at all about why they like this training method.  

 Simple truth  – It wears the horse out. That’s the purpose. They are TIRED by the time they’ve been taken off the pole. Would’nt you be? Mentally and physically.   Now, they’re not beating the horse while it’s on the pole.  Fair enough.  I still find the practice cruel. 

My point here isn’t so much to talk to you about tying horses to poles for long periods of time.  It’s more about the sad state of how we talk to each other when we disagree.    




original article below…  by a very well known trainer who has much success in the show pen.  It’s true, the method obtains the end result they are looking for.   His horses do their job.  Doesn’t make it right in my book.  

—————————Tying a horse up for long periods of time accomplishes many important things in your training. I have a little saying, “End each training session by tying your horse up to the ‘Tree or Post of Knowledge.’” Clinton Anderson Training TipsWhen you tie your horse up after a training session, it teaches him not only respect and patience, but it also gives him a chance to think about and absorb what you have just taught him. 


The very last thing you want to do after a training session is get off your horse, take him back to the barn, unsaddle him, hose him off and put him in his stall to eat. This puts his focus more on getting back to the barn and eating than on thinking about his job. If you get into the habit of tying your horse up for two to three hours after you ride him, he won’t be in such a hurry to get back to the barn. 


Some people will read that and think that I’m being cruel to the horse. But I have to ask, “What’s the difference between a horse standing still in a stall or a horse standing still on a Patience Pole? The difference to me is that if he’s standing tied to a pole, he could be thinking about you and what you’ve just taught him, but I guarantee that in the stall he’s not thinking about you at all.



** my answer to that – the difference between a horse standing in his stall and being tied to a “patience pole” is he can move around freely, drink water, nibble hay, lie down if he’s tired from the workout you just gave him… in short.. RELAX.  He can’t do that on the pole.  I don’t care that he’s not thinking of me once I’ve gotten off of him.  He needs the break after what he’s just been put through in the training.   

 Notice in the picture he can’t put his head down, not where it would normal be if he was untied.  The argument will be that it’s for his safety, tying him high. YES… if you’re tying a horse, you have to be sure he can’t step on the rope or chain or get tangled in it.  That’s not the issue.  Why tie him for hours at all. 

The ONLY answer.. is to wear him out. Mentally, physically, so they’re more pliable in the training. 


 That’s my take on the practice.  I am not a horse trainer. I have been working with horses for most of my life, caring for them here at home and in the show pen as well.  I think that qualifies me to form my own educated opinion on what I believe to be inhumane practices.   

What would be awesome is if we could all talk to each other without name calling harassment if we disagree.   Last night after much back and forth and really nasty sarcastic wise ass comments by a few commenters, I pulled the whole conversation because I don’t think the intention of the Horse publication was to spark that kind of commentary.  




Headlines. Come on over, weigh in…

   Mental illness? Or  is it racism, pure and simple.  Nine people killed in a church in Charlest0n while participating in bible study.   A woman played dead while lying in her sons blood.  Amazingly, she survived. The killer asked one survivor if he had hit her. She said no… and he said… GOOD, I need a witness here, because I’m going to kill myself.   He didn’t.  Coward.     The victims all black, the murderer a white 21 year old punk who had previously let his racist views be known.   He discussed with friends how he wanted the races segregated.  He admits now, in custody, that his intention was to start a race war.   My husband says he must be mentally ill.    I beg to differ – there is still enough ignorance and hate and -dumb-  in the dark corners of our society to produce such a being.   If ever there was a case for capital punishment, this is it. 


   His family is horrified, can’t fathom how this happened.  I don’t know that I believe that, although I believe they are horrified. We find out after the fact in stories like this, and there are far too many stories like this…..  that there were most often signs, warnings, writing on the wall.    How to stop it?  I wish I knew.   I wish we didn’t have to know.  


     Like it or not, we’re all here to stay. Red white black brown yellow green purple.  The conversations we have in our households matter. The attitude we project, display, announce… matter. It starts there, although admittedly it’s not the only influence.  And if you think this doesn’t affect you… it just ain’t true.   We all pay a price, it seeps into all of ours lives in one way or another.  


The families of the victims?  They FORGAVE him,  already… publicly.  Amazing grace, that. 


                                                   ____________________


 The Confederate Flag – how do you all feel about that?  Honestly I hadn’t given it an ounce of thought until the other day when a friend expressed outrage that it’s still allowed to fly – She believes it represents hate, racism, the history of slavery, etc.  Others will tell you it’s merely a symbol of Southern Pride, especially to today’s young people, those who don’t have the memories of our older generations.    


     Interesting fact – did you know the Swa$tika was once an aboriginal symbol of Peace?  What does it represent now to anyone other than Hitl3rs insane atrocities against humanity. For me it’s not just about Hitl3r… how about all those people who followed his command?… That’s what I think of when I see that symbol.  All those willing people.                      
                                                 ______________________






.…  Donald Trump – for President?  The man is as arrogant as they come. He has filed for corporate bankruptcy four times. – 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009.  All connected to over-leveraged casino and hotel properties, all now owned by Trump Entertainment Resorts. True, in very big business, bankruptcy is  explained as merely a restructuring of debt, not the devastation it represents for the average Joe. To me it means arrogant abuse of power and a degree of poor judgement, regardless. Very informative article HERE if you’re interested in learning much more about his inheritance, rise to power, over reaching stumbles, saving-his-ass assistance  by government that he frequently rails against….and a trait I find particularly ugly –  He gives zero credit to anyone but himself for his extreme wealth.  He’s been married.. how many times?    He  lives in over the top opulence.   He’s crass, pompous, disrespectful.  


     Presidential material?   Some of you love him and say you’d vote for him.   Although I love you all dearly and value your opinions almost as much as my own, maybe sorta,  I’m scratching my head here,  Just that.  



                                                 ______________________


     Rachel Dolezal – bizarre? yes.  Deserving of crazy national attention?   I’m leaning toward no.   So she identifies herself as black, why do we care so much?   She’s apparently been lying about her ethnicity for years.   Maybe I don’t know all there is to know, actually probably…. but the only people who this really affects, in my opinion,  are her parents and her children.    The ‘rents have been banned from family celebrations such as her sons graduations,etc… for fear that she would be exposed as -NOT BLACK -.  Now that sucks.   But seriously –  People alter their appearance all the time, it’s commonplace.  Ever dye your hair? Get a perm?  Cosmetic surgery?  Go tanning? I identify with those living on a waterfront villa overlooking crystal blue lagoons in quaint European villages in  the Mediterranean… if I could pull it off and tell you that’s me, I might have done it!  Does anyone care? Why is this such a big deal?  


     She’s been fired from the NAACP, and I don’t think it has to do with her actual ethnicity so much as the lying.  Why lie?  Why not just -be-.  


                                                     ___________________


   


   







Is it me?

  I’ve got a tiny little gripe and I feel like getting it off my chest.  Maybe this is gonna make me sound like a grumpy old lady, of which I hope I never become, but hey if the shoe fits, right?  So you let me know and I’m OK with the answer.

  Do you use the terms BFF, Bestie, Bae?….

 They annoy me.  And here’s why…

Let’s start with “Bae”… which is what some probably-young women call other  probably-young women who are their BFF  or maybe a guy who is their lover, whatever… … this does not necessarily apply to actual couples.  I’m assuming “Bae” is the short form of Babe.  Which is only just one letter shorter, you know?  You’re just cutting off one letter.. one sorta sound,..the B sound which just rolls out of your mouth naturally, it’s not a difficult pronunciation or anything….  so the point of the shortening would be?…….   Just explain it to me, really, if you know..  because I want to understand.

Going out with Bae tonight.. can’t wait to get ice cream with the Bae tonight…. sitting here with Bae, drinking wine.. 

Most of us know what BFF’s are, or Besties.    BFF = Best Friend Forever, and Bestie is pretty self explanitory.   I have friends all over who I cherish, and they’ve all played different rolls in my life. Some I don’t talk to for months or years, but when we catch up, it’s as if no time has passed.  Some I talk to daily because our lives intertwine through jobs or hobbies or volunteer stuff, etc.   A few I’m closer to and share things with more than others.  But would I label anyone a BFF?  Or a Bestie?  I wouldn’t… If I’m  out shopping with my Bestie, are my other friends -lesser-?

Now, if you use the term, you might be annoyed with me right about here.   I’m not really picking on you. All these terms are friendly terms, after all. Cute even!     Maybe  I’m picking on me….. getting older, not riding with the times,  being an old fogey, bucking the new system, if you will.

So, is it me?