75

   The weather was perfect yesterday, the setting serene –  temps in the mid 70’s, sun and blue skies, boats bobbing in the water, gulls soaring overhead. Very fitting for a gathering of family and friends to celebrate my mother and celebrate 75 years of a life well lived.

    The only difficulty –  Mom has many friends, some of her dearest live far away, and travel can sometimes be a heartship. There will be more celebration this summer when the The Golden Girls are reunited, but yesterday was for family and friends who live near.

    Happy Birthday Mom… You are loved by many, but especially me.  And who woulda thunk it, huh?  That rebel teen who probably scared the heck out of you more than once,,,…. now counts on you daily for insight and support.  My children could not have hoped for a better grandmother!

Here’s to many more years of shared celebrations.

Daughters, grandaughters and a good friend… 

Dear friends since childhood – see pictures at the bottom of the post – 

Family…
The Granddaughters….

Friends….

More family…..

What it’s all about…
There were a few toasts… 

and a lot of laughs and some great conversations…

Bettina and Kathy – 

Thank you Peoples family for creating this collage – 
captures Mom well …. 

… it’s a beautiful thing.

Bruce

    I know, I know.. you’re tired of hearing it, seeing it… it’s almost worse than the KardASS*ans, right?   Yet I see THIS picture, by the ever awesome Annie Leibovitz, and I can only say – WOW. 
Bruce/Caitlyn looks fabulous, better as a woman than she ever did as a man. And he wasn’t bad looking in a feminine sort of way. 
     It’s just so hard to wrap the mind around the concept that such a masculine sports hero of years gone by could actually do THIS in his sixties. I think he’s sixty-ish anyway…  Kinda drastic. Could be humiliating, even.  Because people will be people. In my own group of FB friends the reaction is mixed.. mostly full out support, and a few who say PLEASE!  and GROSS! 
     Well, here’s my thinking.  I don’t believe it’s fair to judge the guy/girl.  This is not something anyone would do lightly or without YEARS of thought.  In his case, a lifetime! ..because of the backlash and shunning that will come with it, let alone the psychological warfare you must go through within yourself to get to this place.  Bruce Jenner had to be a pretty tormented soul for all those years, if he truly felt this is what he was meant to be.   So I say live and let live.  Bravo to him for having the courage to become the -she- he felt he was all along, regardless of the backlash.  That takes courage, whether you think it’s gross or not.  Who are we to judge when we have not walked in anothers shoes? 
  

Randomocity

… that is SO a word.

 We’ve had beautiful weather lately except for one thing.  No rain.  None. Nuthin.  Nada.  And that means we are living in a pollen and dust bowl.  Hello Allegra/Zyrtec/Claritin/Flonase.    I haven’t used any of that stuff yet, but I probably should.  Itchy, sneezy, general feeling of yuck – *sigh

 Anyway.. on to the other random –

   We had a glorious Memorial Day Weekend – time spent with family enjoying good food, good weather, a frisbee and good horses, it’s all good.

  Timely, we watched American Sniper… wow, what a story.  And if you need a dose of reality, this movie is it.  The horrors our soldiers endure is hideous.  The mentality over there is … I don’t have an appropriate word for it.  What an incredible man, what a tragic end.

 On to better things –  K & Opie – I’ve been lax in the riding department and Kris has been giving him some much needed exercise.

I just found this funny – 

 A Mother’s Day gift from my son – I love it. At night it casts a lovely
glow over the kitchen sink.  

Speaking of my son – he traded in his car for a really rad
Jeep.  You know we love our Jeeps around here… 
He’s the Black Jeep Of The Family. 
The fellow next to him is my cousin Kev. 
A finer man you might never know – 
He taught my son all about the joys of
GOING TOPLESS the other day…
because sometimes that’s how we roll. 

Don’t do it

   We had a lovely weekend, and there were things I planned to post… but something happened  in town that is more important to share.

  I’m drinking coffee in my kitchen this morning, and I keep looking out at the mist, thinking of the people affected by something terrible that happened up the road just days ago.

    There was a horrible accident at a busy intersection.  I had driven through the area about 20 minutes prior and K came up to it right after.  She said the flames were so crazy she had no idea what was involved in the accident.  The immediate result – One female cyclist was dead at the scene, the other male life starred in critical condition, fate still unknown.   In the news we learned the motorcyclists were from NJ  and were with a group, probably leisure riding through the countryside… when they were hit head on by an SUV driven by a teen who had just gotten his/her license.  The kids in the SUV were unhurt.   Turns out this teen driver is a really good kid,  an honor student at the local HS.  Just got his/her license a month prior.  It’s not clear why he/she veered into the oncoming lane and hit the cyclists head-on,  it was the middle of the day and they were in a stream of cars going regular speed.

But I can take a guess.

   How often have I looked at my phone while driving.   – Did she respond to my e-mail?  Did K get back to me yet? …. who “liked” that funny quote on FB?  – 

    How Stupid.

 Nothing is so important it can’t wait until you’re not driving.  And yet, like Pavlov’s dog, I find myself checking, checking, checking.    I’m making a big effort from now on to put the phone in the purse until I ‘ve reached the destination.  I’ve also lectured my kids and husband, although we’ve done that before.. and  people tend to forget once the horror of someone else’s tragedy fades.

   I feel so badly for the woman who died so horribly.  The man will never be the same if he survives.. and the teens in that SUV?  *sigh   I have no idea what the investigation outcome will be, but this is certain –  it’s a terrible burden to bear for the rest of their lives regardless.

 

Spring Rain and too-smart horses

   After a particularly cold and snowy and dragged out winter, we’ve had a weird spring.  Right now, the grass is parched.  This morning, however, there is a light misty rain and I am so grateful. My gardens need the reprieve.

  This morning when I went out to feed the animals, I discovered Opie had let himself and Max out overnight.  I close my horses in at night so I know they aren’t getting into trouble out in the fields in the dark.  It’s not totally necessary, but it gives me peace of mind.  Any little bit of that I can get, I take.  In the warmer months I leave the top door of their stalls open so they have good ventilation.  Opie.. has discovered how to undo the latches with his mouth.  Last night he opened his own door, then sprung Max out of his stall as well, and the two had a grand old time grazing all night in the light rain.   This is how I was greeted this morning when I came out to feed –

   On mornings like this, when it’s peaceful out in the fields and the animals are happy to see you –  (oh it’s the FOOD, I know)  –  you don’t mind the work so much, you remember why you did all this in the first place.  It’s a beautiful thing.

How cool is that!

    I know a girl who knows a girl who lives down the street from the newest American Idol!!!… somehow that doesn’t excite you, does it.  

   So here’s the deal –  we’ve ALL had the Fradiani Fever thing going on for a while now because he hails from our shoreline and everything and everyone is all  YAY NICK!!!  Storefronts have banners, restaurants are having parties, I’m sure drinks will be named after him in the local bars. …. OUR HOMETOWN BOY!!!…as if he’s actually our son or cousin or BFF since nursery school or ex boyfriend who we still get along with just fine.  (oh, but don’t we WISH!)

   I get it, I do. I think he’s really talented and a very nice young man and wow, what a thing to happen to someone.   The irony?  Just six months ago he was walking through town like the rest of us, just a regular Joe.   Now?  The girls scream when they see him.   My daughter works on the green where he held a hometown concert last week. You may have seen it on TV if you follow AI.   He was arriving at four with a parade and then the concert. I had to drive her in to work because employees were already told there would be nowhere to park. I saw the lines forming at noon.  WOW.

 26 years ago we were married in a church on this beautiful historic green.   What an awesome place to kick off his new life with his hometown crowd…….

 Wishing you the best of luck, Nick Fradiani!   Gee, your parents sure look familiar.. I think we shop the same days at the Big Y.  Maybe we’re cousins!  ðŸ™‚

 

Out on the front porch…

…there is a little bird.  She has built herself a lovely little well-protected nest on the  porch light.

I love her choice of nest material… the remnants of last years perennials
from the backyard. 

I did not discovery the nest early enough to photograph wee little eggs…
But alas, there is this – 

 

Justice?


   Chances are you haven’t been able to completely avoid the fiasco in Baltimore, even if you’re making a concerted effort.  What a tragedy in so many ways.   At the heart of it is a supposed long standing divide between Police officers and young men of the black community.  There is no trust, they say. Cops are suspicious right off the bat, they say.  We’re angry.. they say.   I don’t doubt that’s a factor.   How can it not be.  But lets be totally honest,  look at the statistics.  Who did you see in the news footage looting, robbing, destroying. Who was running from burning buildings to their cars with armloads of clothes, sneakers, pharmaceuticals?  Who torched 144 cars, destroyed 19 businesses? Set their city back at least five years?    As for the young man who’s death caused the protests in the first place? He had a rap sheet a mile long, he was a narcotics dealer among other things.  Was his death a tragedy?  Unless you’re Adolph H*tler or cut from similar cloth, any death is a tragedy.  But how much can we ask of our police officers?   If you’re not breaking the law, not running from the law, not known for drug and stolen property arrests for years on end, chances are you’re not going to die at the hands of a police officers.  It’s that simple.  I’m not denying there have been times when we’ve all heard a story where too much force was used and a tragic death occurred.  Some people shouldn’t be cops. That’s true of any career choice.  Weed out the few, but don’t condemn the whole.  And I hope there will soon be body cameras that do not interfere with an officers capabilities so that their actions can no longer be questioned, and the few rogue cops out there will be identified and lose their status. 


   M talked to one of our friends, an officer who has been at it a long time.  This is what he had to say about the current issue.  ” When we are dealing with a person who is high on drugs, and most of those who are committing a crime or selling dope ARE high on their preferred substance… they are ten times stronger than the average man while on the drug.  They fight with everything they’ve got, even knowing they are going to be arrested and will not win the struggle.  We have a protocol we are supposed to follow and we do it with the best of our ability. Remember we’re packing guns, tasers, other equipment as we’re trying to arrest the person and have to attempt not to use those weapons unless absolutely necessary. The perps adrenaline is running high and they are powerful on their drug, and our adrenaline is running high as we try to protect the life of the one fighting us, our OWN, and anyone who may be in the vicinity. It’s impossible in that kind of situation to have everything go perfectly according to any rule books, but we do the best we can with what we’re handing at that very moment, and we never know what that’s going to be.” 

Makes sense to me.  

I put this on FB yesterday – forgive the repeat if you’re a friend there.  It’s what I believe.    


     I have always been appalled by racism. Disgusted with some of the worlds history.. all forms of racism that exist… We are all PEOPLE OF THIS EARTH. And if you think white people don’t deal with racism, you’re wrong. Just a few of my experiences…and they are nothing in the big picture. I sat on a public bus headed for school and because I was the only white girl that morning on the bus, I was approached and the simple gold chain I wore was ripped from my neck. The group cheered. Here’s an irony – Because of my dark skin and non-Ivy League education, I was frowned upon by a boyfriends family as soon as they met me. He was honest about his parents clear snub and I am so thankful we didn’t last. 


    Of course we can’t change the past. But it’s sure hard to shape the future in a positive way when opportunist thugs use the “justice for” and racial profiling excuse to burn down and loot their cities, damage businesses, homes, neighborhoods. You only fuel the stereotypes when you behave in such a way. You want justice? Respect? The key is to give it. To raise your children so that they have a moral compass, a respect for life, not just their own. Teach them to value education and the law.. Are there rogue cops out there who shouldn’t have a badge? You bet, just like in any other profession. But the majority are hard working people who put their lives on the line every single day and we’re damn lucky they’re willing. I don’t care what the color of your skin is….the conversation needs to change everywhere, but it starts with taking responsibility at home. Period.

   By the way… BRAVO to the people of that community who stood by the officers, defending them, as their neighbors rioted and destroyed and threw bricks.  Bravo to the family of the deceased who, even in their grief,  asked that no violence be brought to the city in the name of their son.  Bravo to those who came out of their homes the next morning with brooms and garbage pails, cleaning up their city. Bravo to the mother who found her son among the looters and  dragged him home, literally. 

 Does racism still exist? As I said above.. you betcha.  Sad deal.  But that’s not the way to fix it.   

ROSA PARKS… refused to give up her seat on a bus.  She didn’t torch it.