Tag: life

A Rambler

   I joined Weight Watchers yesterday after a good friend told me how much success she’s had with it so far.  Menopause hit me last year and the ensuing ten pounds plus the extra 15 I was already carrying  have been miserable to get off.  As in.. despite my regular exercise efforts and all the barn work I do,  it hasn’t budged.   Having been newly diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year too,  I think the extra weight isn’t doing me any favors in that department either.  
     
    Part of the problem is I’m definitely  a) a grazer and b) I LOVE FOOD.  I mean I LOOOOOVE food.  And I like making and baking it for others too.   I’m not much of a drinker, an occasional glass of wine or Gin andTonic at a social gathering is about all I might have, so that’s not a piece of the equation.  So far I’m finding WW is easy to follow, the phone app that helps you keep track of the points system is extremely useful.  I’ve already cut gluten out of my diet and now I’m cutting out as much sugar and salt as is humanely possible.  Yep, I meant humane…  because ME.   I’ll let you know how it goes – day 2, so far, so good.  My mission is to lose 25 lbs and no, I’m not going to share my starting weight because OMFG.     Pardon the profanity. It fits. 
*ahem. 
    Netflix is new to the husband and I this winter, and although we aren’t big TV watchers, it’s been so darn cold here in New England we’ve had plenty of time at night sitting by the fire to catch up on all those series others have recommended.  
     Grace & Frankie –  I absolutely love it.  I’ve seen all kinds of hate posts in reviews of the show about Jane Fonda, she’s anti American, blah blah blah… and although I was too young to fully have a grasp of  the Vietnam horrors until reading about them after the fact, I’ve read the stories of her  protests of the war and some behavior I’m sure she wishes now she never engaged in.  Actually she has said that very thing.   And the most basic truth here – can anyone blame her for being against that atrocity of a war?   Anyway, she and Lily Tomlin along with the rest of the cast are hilarious and the show does tackle real life issues and gives that podium to our older generation. 
     Homeland –  Well, what should I say  – there’s some tremendously good acting here – and you come to really care about some of the characters – but after a while, the constant high pitch intensity  and how many times can one person be kidnapped or blown up and survive and move on to the next crisis, like immediately…  is exhausting.  In the series, Claire Danes’ character, Carrie, suffers from bipolar disorder. I give the show and Claire credit for what I believe is handling the difficult road of managing that illness well.  I can’t help but feel the entire show is trying to handle it’s own version of a difficult illness, though,  because of the constant hyperactive loop it and she  runs through over and over.   The series is  so good in other ways I keep returning to watch the next episode. 
   Game of Thrones –  The first time I tuned in, years ago, I thought it looked like nonsense and I didn’t bother finishing the episode.  Well, hell.. I was wrong.  If you watch from the beginning, it is amazing to me how much of it can be applied to real life circumstances of today, real struggles in our societies, leadership, governing law.. and lawlessness, good versus evil, power, greed, corruption,  redemption and love.  There’s some  eye candy, of course, and dragons – always a good thing –  and the period dress and sets/scenery are beautiful.  My favorite character?  Surprised me!   – Tyrion Lannister played by the remarkable Peter Dinklage.  His character in my opinion is one of the most intelligent and intriguing of all.  Some of the lines in the show, and many by him… are priceless. 
     I ‘ve seen some pretty hateful posts on some of my friends  FB feeds lately and I’m trying to just leave it. That in itself is a miracle for me, I admit it .
     I said this on my own page, though, and I’ll say it here … it’s possible to express concerns and opinions without hateful comments, without sharing false information, without trying to shame people, without cruelty. The current President would cheer us on and uses that brand of behavior himself…  and that’s a damned shame… but we don’t have to feed off of it.
    We are better than this ugliness and I’m getting tired of seeing it in my own feed.  We don’t all agree on some big issues, but that’s life. Whether we agree with each other on any current issue or not, let’s debate it,or not, with the respect we would display if face to face. I wish folks would stop sharing fake news, seriously –  spend the moments it takes to verify.  Can’t we leave the hate out of  comments and stop share hateful material just because it lines up with one’s beliefs. 
      It’s possible to get the ear of someone who may think differently if we can all do it respectfully. That kind of communication builds roads instead of blowing them up. The only way to fix this clusterf*ck we have now is to come together instead of encouraging divide and hate. Pardon the profanity again – it still fits. 

   Are you still with me?   If you’ve trudged through all the above,  you deserve a great cake recipe I found on another blog.   I’m making this for my son’s birthday next week – will let you know how it turns out.  Looks delicious and a Spring kind of refreshing, doesn’ t it?   (Just Hush) 

Orange Cake 🍊
– recipe found HERE. 

The VIP Room

    
    We are lucky to live right up the road from a very good restaurant.   Our town used to be labeled as “out in the sticks”, but that’s not really true anymore.  We still don’t have a grocery store or an official post office, but we are fairly close to those things in the next town over and we do have local restaurants, a Dunkin, A Subway, a good bakery, a big hardware store, a few gas stations and packages stores (of course!)  and a bunch of other small businesses, with the bustling CT shoreline and outlet centers just three miles down the road. 
   Last night we gathered at that very good restaurant to celebrate a family member’s birthday, and because Wednesdays are a slow night and the owner appreciates our friendship and occasional business, we were given the VIP room, normally reserved for Very Important People.
   

   
      Being hearing impaired,  I tend to observe people more than participate in conversations in a situation like this.  What I saw last night where cousins and brothers and sisters and moms and dads an restaurant workers, patrons  and business owners relaxed and happy, laughing and enjoying each other’s company.  It didn’t matter what was being said… the mood was evident, refreshing, downright inspiring.  Remember that coke commercial back in the day?   “I’d like to teach the world to sing.. in perfect harmony”….   that.  
   I’m still riding that wave we all caught last night, and I plan to encourage it wherever I can. 
    We celebrate several birthdays at this time of year and I have cake in my thoughts and prayers, lol.  This one… oooh dear.  I think I’m gonna try it, gluten free if that’s possible.  Click link for recipe. 





   I’m in love with that jadite cake stand.

   Current situation at This Old House…  the storm two days ago brought about 10 more inches of snow, and there’s talk of another on the horizon next week.   Uncle. 
   
Till soon, friends – 

Heart Attack Snow, and some things you just can’t know

 

   You’ve heard of the term “heart attack snow”, right?  That’s what we got about a foot of during Wednesday night’s storm…..that wet heavy stuff  that soaks through your jacket five minutes out and feels like each shovelfull weighs a ton.
     Power, cable and internet was just restored a few hours ago on our road, and some folks are still waiting for it. Days without power is a scary thing when it’s cold outside and there are trees and wires down on roads, bad enough that some folks are still trapped in their driveway or at the end of their street, not able to get out, heaven forbid there were an emergency.  
      We lost about 7 or eight trees on the property, mostly in the cedar and pine groves on either side of the house.  I hate when that happens – they are like old friends, these trees.    The “giving tree”.. my beloved ancient half hollow pear that lives in the mini horses paddock has lost a large limb.  I don’t know how much more insult that poor tree can take.  With every storm I look up toward that tree on the hill and hope it’s still intact. 

 

 The Egg Plant below, covered in blasted snow.  You can see some of the trees bent over behind it.. four down on that side. 

 The girls looked bewildered yesterday when I let them out  and their coop yard was a muddy mess.

     You see those bewildered looks above?   They were making little half hearted and sometimes raised pitch clucks.   If it’s in the chicken dictionary, WTF is what they were probably saying. 
  This morning, my favorite girl child came over bright and early. We ate blueberry pancakes and headed out into the barnyard –  K mucked out the stalls while I cleaned up the coop and chicken yard.

     With grapes and spinach leaves to pick on and the sun shining bright upon melting snow, the girls quickly concluded all was right with their world once again. 
     The boys are out in the groves today clearing up all the broken trees.  Temps are supposed to drop tonight, say a little prayer for all those still without power.  
   Once farm chores were done for me and the girlchild, I called Dad at the nursing home to let him know I hadn’t forgot him and asked if he needed anything at the store… 

Two Things! he said…  Milkbones for the dog  and candy for the girls!   So I did our shopping and his. 
   When I arrived, he was playing cards in the rec room with one of his buddies. They looked very serious about the game in hand, coffee and danish at the ready.    I love seeing that.  While some (including me) cringe at the idea of living in a nursing home, for my father it  has been a blessing.  They take better care of him now than he ever did for himself.   While he was alone most of the time before moving there, he is in the constant presence of people, both friends and staff who are very, very kind to him now.  
     The milkbones are for a  therapy dog golden retriever who visits three times a week with his owner.  The dog knows Dad will have a treat for him, so as soon as he walks in the front entrance, he first checks Dad’s usual hang out at the front lobby, and if he’s not there he tugs toward his room just down the hall about 30 feet.  He knows where the  man-of-the-treats “lives”… and it thrills Dad to no end.  Since this has become a regular thing, I thought…    I’ll see your box of milkbones  and raise you a bag of Bacon strips.    So I brought both.  You’d have thought it was Christmas morning. 
     The candy bowl on his dresser  is kept stocked with tootsie rolls , T’s favorite! (my dad’s favorte! nurse) , smarties and wrapped chocolates that reflect the nearest holiday – today we filled it with Russell Stover foil covered eggs, you know the ones).  Dad loves attention, so he also loves to wear Tee shirts that say something funny.   The last one I brought him said Politically Incorrect.   Because Dad.   Today I stopped at the Bong Shop on route 1 just across the street from him.. yep, it’s a bong shop and holy hell does it smell like one… and picked up this tee for  him to wear in this month of St. Patty’s day. 
      He’s now in his second year of living at the home.  I can’t express exactly how emotionally draining that time was for all of us – his third heart attack, his further decline – the continued struggle with what was or wasn’t our relationship –  that ugly decision to sell his home and move him to that place.  It turned out to be a blessing, anything but the curse it felt like at the time.    His new life is a classic example of  this simple truth –  it’s all what you make of it.  While I didn’t think he had it in him, I sold him short in this way.  He’s doing just fine.   
Till soon, friends –

    
     
      

Here we go again –

      And that’s the most accurate forecast I’ve heard all morning.   
So… I’ve mucked the barn  and coop, all critters snug for the day and into the evening….  This was the face that mirrored mine as he stepped out into the crapitude…  Yep I know it, Opie… 
      Once chores were done I took a shower and brushed my teeth and my temporary crown fell out pronto.  So I  hauled ass to the Dentist before the storm hit, got that squared away, hit the grocery store with two hundred thousand seventy eight people, got the ingredients for a decent paleo dinner I want to try because I’m on that never ending quest to lose weight and I want to fool myself once again for the two hundred thousand seventy eighth time that I CAN DO THIS!!!!   Jesus, it’s just 25 lbs but you’d think it was 300.   I cannot believe how hard this shit is once you hit your fifties.  Holy cow.  
  Anyway… my dogs aren’t loving the weather either… they’re huddled together wherever I am… If I’m cleaning the bathroom or folding laundry or away on errands… they’re here…   Side note:  Who needs a throw at the bottom of your bed when you’ve got three dogs that fit perfectly, provide warmth and match the decor, I ask you?   Extra side note: I’m as horrified as you are at the totally uncentered position of the print on the wall.  It’s a heavy print.. really big nail that makes a really big hole… hating the other hole making, so I haven’t… yet.  
   
    Or under the plant table in the kitchen if I’m working at the island or sink or stove.  Sally’s toy basket is on the right..  I pick up all the toys on the floor and she proceeds to take them back out one by one, feigning interest for a few seconds with each. 

    I’m tempted to talk about all the political crapitude we are seeing on the news, on our FB feeds, on the web… but I am so damned disgusted and weary of it all it seems better to just… drop the mic. 
    Speaking of TV –  Have you watched Grace and Frankie at all on Netflix?   I am loving it.. binge watched it for a few evenings, now all caught up.  Also just caught up with how the last season of the Bachelor finished off… I hate reality TV,  dumbs down america if you ask me.   Only watched one season of the Bachelor many years ago when it first came out and was horrified at how those women and men put themselves in such an awkward and humiliating situation.  I know.. they knew what they were signing up for… and Money.  … but this last one in particular.. brutal if you ask me.  What a player the bachelor is.. and after “falling in love” with two accomplished beautiful women and leading them both on with the I Love You So Much crap, he dumps one (as they all do).. then proposes to the other, then in the follow up he dumps the fiance ON TV and goes back to the original dumpee.   All this after he was a dumpee on the Bachelorette.   What is enjoyable about this show, is this really entertainment? 
  I’ll leave you with some funnies as I go attempt that paleo recipe  while glaring at the falling snow, which is coming down heavy now  – 
    
Till soon, friends – 

From a distance

     I took some shots of the moon at 5:30 a.m. this morning, almost full, incredible orangey peach hues.. all three of these shots taken in the same 60 second window, just different settings on the camera.  
    As I stood out in the cool morning air gazing at this gorgeous moon, I thought of all the other people around the world who look up and admire the very same.  We live in such a beautiful, miraculous place in a myriad of ways. Why we can’t all get along at least in the most basic sense of the word so that we each live in comfort and harmony is heartbreaking.  It’s absolutely possible, totally obtainable.. we just can’t get out of our own way to get there.   
    
    I love this song, performed by Bette Midler…  In these turbulent times it’s more fitting than ever… 
     From a Distance 
From a distance the world looks blue and green
And the snow capped mountains white
From a distance the ocean meets the stream
And the eagle takes to flight
From a distance there is harmony
And it echoes through the land
It’s the voice of hope
It’s the voice of peace
It’s the voice of every man
From a distance we all have enough
And no one is in need
And there are no guns, no bombs and no disease
No hungry mouths to feed
From a distance we are instruments
Marching in a common band
Playing songs of hope
Playing songs of peace
They are the songs of every man
God is watching us
God is watching us
God is watching us from a distance
From a distance you look like my friend
Even though we are at war
From a distance I just cannot comprehend
What all this fightings for
                                                                        Till soon, friends… 

Winterscape

  We woke up to about 4 inches of beautiful fluffy white snow and clear skies.  By Tuesday, the temps will hit 60 degrees.  T’is  true what they say about New England weather… don’t like it?  wait a few minutes…. it’ll change… 

     My little southern peach, Sally,
 with her little twisted legs absolutely loves the snow… 

The Other Woman

      This sort of thing has been going on for a while now, it’s not shocking in today’s world, really.  I guess we were behind the times around here, but now he’s done with it.  Out with the old, in with the new, as they say.  I can’t blame him –  She’s  fresh and young.  She’s sleek.   From what I can tell, she doesn’t complain or voice her opinion. She can do things I can’t do.    No wonder he was so eager to welcome her into our home… and indeed it’s official… Alexa has moved in. 
   
    
     I really had not a clue what this Alexa thing was, paid no mind, as I can’t hear voices or music very well anyway.  Funny thing, though.  When music is playing on Alexa, for whatever the reason, I can hear it a little better than if it were coming out of the car radio or our old sound system.  Music still sounds like crap compared to what a normal hearing person experiences, but I am getting a little bit more of the instrumentals, sometimes even a voice if it’s a deep one.  That’s a gain in my world, a  pleasant surprise. 
   In some ways, it feels like we’re beginning to live in the age of the Jetsons… a mini robot that sits on the office desk and kitchen counter and living room mantel that plays whatever music we ask, tells us what the forecast is, answers any factual questions.  All we have to to do is say out loud… Alexa… play the Eagles music.    Alexa, what’s the temperature outside right now?  
     Are you old enough to remember that cartoon?  Now if only we could have robot maids like Rosie that vacuum and dust and cook our meals.  That’s an Alexa I could really appreciate!  I’m sure it’s on the horizon, after all we’ve been living with vacuums that propel themselves along the floor while we’re at work and microwaves that heat or cook food in seconds, minutes. There are hover crafts out there, just not ready for regular population consumption yet. 
 Times, they are a changing.  Not fast enough in Washington, however. 
 Till soon, friends – 
    

Grey and Red

      Our New England landscape can be summed up in one word – Grey.  We’ve got snow flurries and then rain on the horizon, so I fed and watered  the boyz up at the barn  and the girlz in the coop and cleaned out their living quarters, left top doors open for fresh air and they are snug and dry in the barn for the day. 
  The horse closest to you in this picture is  Max2 , now 31 years of age, that’s ancient in horse-life. He’s owned by a friend of ours.    Our Max – in the rear here, is Max1.   Opie, my redhead,  stands in the middle, the brat  boss of our little herd for sure. 
     Once I got all that accomplished and took a long hot shower to start the day, I drove to the nearest grocery store and picked up a few things to make a good, hearty soup for tonight’s supper.   Even the bleak grey days of winter can be beautiful…. 
  I got the idea for this throw together soup after reading Debbie’s post this morning on THIS blog.
   Basically, I sauteed some turkey kielbasa in my most favorite cooking tool in the house – my  big red Le Creuset pot.   Then I removed the sauteed sliced Kielbasa and added a little butter, chopped red pepper and sweet onion. When that was slightly tender and beginning to brown, I threw in some chopped garlic, shredded carrot, chopped celery, and let that saute a little more.  Then I added a can of crushed tomatoes, a can of cannellini beans, and chicken stock, enough to make it soupy.  Threw the Kielbasa back in and it’s all simmering low on the stove till this evening.  About 15 minutes before serving, I’ll throw in a bunch of baby spinach so the spinach is cooked but not drowned. The house already smells like  welcome home. 
   Speaking of which… This starting combination of  (red sweet) peppers, onions and garlic always reminds me of the very first time it occurred to me I was really going to enjoy cooking.  
    The Mr. and I were dating and I was cooking a meal for him for the first time.  At that time I had been living with my Aunt, finishing school, held two jobs and a barn full of horses to help take care of.  Busy girl, no time for cooking.   I had no idea what I was doing  and was on the phone with my Aunt several times during the course of the meal prep asking questions with the hope that I wouldn’t royally screw it up.  M was at work, thankfully, not aware of the mess I was making in his kitchen.   
     
     Well, that first meal consisted of a chicken dish that began with a pepper, onion, garlic sauteed in butter combination.  oh, that heavenly scent.. I was THRILLED that I had created that delicious aroma with just those ingredients sauteeing in a pan.  From that moment on I paid more attention to the art of cooking,  experimented some and followed recipes handed down in my family, most of which I still use today –  Mom makes a mean stew and I haven’t tweaked it in all these years. My grandmother and Aunt also legendary in our family for their good home cooking, I guess I got some of that from them.  They were all better about doing the dishes immediately after the sit-down,though.  On that I am the great procrastinator.  
      
 

   

        Till soon, friends… 
        
     

The care and keeping of souls

     Do animals have “souls”?   Technically, people and animals consist of the working parts of the body and the powerful mind. I’ve always marveled at what makes us  the essence of who we are,  though.  What gives us emotions and a conscience, or lack of one?  Is it the soul?  If you’re religious and depending on who interprets it, the Bible implies all living creatures have souls.  Heaven isn’t given an absolutely clear description, for how can anyone know it’s truth until they have passed on…  but in the bible, animals are mentioned as present in the afterlife.  For me, Heaven would be no place to be if there were no animals.  Many would argue Jesus didn’t die on the cross for the souls of the animals.  I say many animals are more loyal, loving and giving and worthy than some people walking this earth. Animals have been making survival possible for us humans in so many ways for all the years humans have existed, whether working in the fields, as food, as companionship, transportation and protection.  …. seems to me only fitting that a kind and loving God would feel they deserve the afterlife, too.   

      I have loved and taken care of animals since I was old enough to pet the family dog.  As a child, having the restraints of living in a suburb,  at various times I managed to tend to a pigeon, a goat, our dogs, our cats, a few parakeets, some fancy silk mice, a hamster or two.  My parents allowed what was reasonable at our residence but I knew as an adult I wanted to be able to do much more.  The logical career choice for a kid such as myself  would be  veterinarian. It was indeed listed on any school papers where we chose what we’d like to be when we grow up.  That all changed when I had to take one of our cats to the vet to remove bee bee’s someone had shot into her hind legs.  I tried staying with them for the procedure but the excising made me nauseous and woozy.            Onward! 

     I landed in Connecticut at the age of 19 with an old abandoned race horse that I adopted on Staten Island. He was around 28 at the time and had two more good years in a pasture on my Aunt’s horse farm just up the road from This Old House.  From there,  after college and while working in a law firm I met and married my husband and together  we built our first small horse farm and our family.  We currently live on our third farm, so I’ve been taking care of horses on a daily basis for the past 30-plus years. 

     While living on a farm can seen romantic, it’s a heck of a lot of work and dedication to something you love. Every single day, without exception, regardless of weather,  the responsibility demands that you get up and out in the morning to feed and water the animals.  Their living quarters needs to be mucked and fresh bedding laid down.  They are turned out into pastures if they’re lucky or at the very least, paddocks.  Then, whatever you’ve got going on during the day, you need to return to feed them again in the evening, refresh waters if needed, check for any cuts, scrapes, etc.   Horses need grooming, regular trims or shoeing from a farrier, they need exercise. It’s a lot to take on and requires real dedication.. and love! 

   We have dogs and used to have cats too, most of you are familiar with their necessary care.  We’ve also got a coop full of chickens, something I decided to set up here about 7 years ago.  Chickens aren’t as much work as the horses, but they still require daily care. Their feed needs to be replenished, their water cleaned out and refreshed. I clean out the coop about once a week, unlike the horses daily stall cleaning.  Their chicken yard needs to be raked to stay fairly sanitary – no easy feat with chickens, they are messy.   I let them out to free range occasionally, but not always. Coyotes and hawks  are a big problem around here.  

   Often I’m asked by family and friends… aren’t you tired of having to do all that work all the time? Every. Single. Day?   The answer is complicated.  





 Yes.. there are days when I really don’t want to trudge up the muddy or snowy or frozen hill in the early morning hours to tend the horses.  There are cold winter nights when I don’t want to leave the warmth of the fire or the family holiday gathering to bring in and  feed the animals.  Having fibromyalgia means there are days when every muscle in my body aches and the last thing I feel like doing is mucking those stalls, lugging those water buckets, throwing that hay.  But these animals I have here on this farm have taken care of us over the years.  They have been my therapy in troubled times, they have been dependable, sturdy souls who did what we asked of them, and sometimes that was a heck of a lot.  We are all middle middle aged now, the horses and myself.  They deserve to be cared for properly, they earned it.  

     If you think animals don’t have emotions, then you’ve never really spent time or developed a relationship with one.  Do you define intelligence as the indicator of the presence of a soul?  It’s proven Dolphins have a language they use to communicate with each other.  Dogs can be taught an amazing array of communicating and they certainly display emotions such as happy, sad, frightened, lonely,  jealousy, exuberance, pain, even loss.  Gorillas have learned sign language to communicate with humans, and that they do.  These are just some example of what I believe are evidence that animals have souls, whatever that may mean. 

I call our little crew the geriatric ward now.. 

Coady and Lacey are mini horses, both have been used as therapy horses in nursing homes, rehab facilities, back in the day.   Lacey was a driving horse for myself and a good friend for years as well. Many a mile did we cover in our little carts, Lacey at the helm taking us through the meadows and woods.  The photo below was taken at a carriage driving demonstration. Most days our attire was tee shirts and jeans.  We’re both a little chubbier now. 


    

 Lacey is aging well, but Coady has cushings disease.  He requires a daily pill to help manage the symptoms.



    
    Opie is my Steady Eddie.  He came to us at 8 years of age and is now 21 years old.  We’ve gone on many a trail ride, and when the going gets rough – like a big scary bridge to cross or a stream to get through, we can count on Opie to be the first to walk across and let the other horses know it’s OK to move forward.  He can be a little stinker, not wanting to work more than he has to, but he’s always honest and for the most part, predictable. I can put the tiniest babe in the saddle and walk them around the ring knowing he’ll keep his head down and just do his job.  He’s aging well, except for an eye condition that occasionally requires two sets of ointments to clear the cloudy. 



 Max, my daughters horse, is another Steady Eddie – with quite the accomplishments under his belt.  He didn’t come to us until he was 18 years of age.. having already traveled parts of the country as a show horse for several other owners.  K had three great show years with him and then he colicked, bad.  We opted for surgery to save him and he did survive the ordeal, but it was clear retirement was the best thing for him.  So, we brought him home to recover and enjoy the good life here on the farm.



Since his surgery Max has trouble keeping weight on, so we keep him warm in winter and feed him plenty of good quality feed and hay and he grazes in the fields during the day.   It’s the least we can do for all he has given us over the years and continues in his light work on trails and in the ring. 




  The girls in the coop aren’t much trouble, and the fresh eggs they provide are wonderful. If you’ve never had fresh eggs off the farm, you’re missing something. Go seek them out and taste the difference for yourself. Right now, in the middle of winter! go figure… some of mine are molting.  I have a cozy coop heater in their hen house, so they are able to stay warm when the temps get real low and their water doesn’t freeze. 




  My little pack of dogs… they are my best buddies. They follow me around the house throughout the day, and if I’m up at the barn and they aren’t outside in the dog yard watching me work, they wait for me to return at the side door.  When I’m working at the computer, they are all around my feet.  If I’m in the kitchen, they lay in the sun spots at the sliders and listen for the sound of wrappers crinkling or refridge door opening or treat jar cover clanking.  They mope when we are away on a mini vacation (which isn’t often… because FARM) and they rejoice when we return even from a half hour errand.  They bicker among themselves but never harm each other, and are often found snoozing together  in a tight little circle. 







Ben, the largest by far, is not the boss.  No, the littlest of them all calls the shots.  That would be the white fluff, Bailey. 

 Miss Sally is my most recent rescue.  As she as matured her front legs have become extremely twisted.  It is a deformity, a result of either some very poor breeding or just crap luck. She manages well, runs like the wind and loves to go for walks.  But when sitting or standing still, her little front legs constantly give out so that she is usually laying down rather than sitting or standing.  The vet assures me she’s not in pain, it’s more painful for us to see than for her to live with.  For now, at least, that appears to be the case. 



     Frasier is a momma’s boy – he’s very jealous when I pay attention to any other creature,  his most favorite place to be is on my lap, and he is fiercely protective of me, even more so than the dane, Ben.  He gives me this face when I leave on errands….


 He is very definitely my best bud. 





     So, would I let the horses down at this stage of the game and try to dump them off at an auction or find that ever elusive “retirement” home and hope someone else won’t use then and abuse them in a way that is so undeserving of all the service they have provided us?  Nope – it’s not an option.  This geriatric crew is here to stay and as long as I’m able, I will trudge up the hill and out to the coop and tend the little  chicken flock and dog pack I have here because I love them all dearly, they are family.  I wish all people who took on the responsibility of a pet or livestock would understand and honor the responsibility and go the distance in caring for them throughout their life or at the very least, hand them off to someone who will. 

   Do these animals have souls despite the fact that their intelligence doesn’t match our own (and with some people I question that very thing) ?  Their soul is as real as that of any human if you ask me.  If there are no animals in heaven, then heaven is not place for me.  

Till soon, friends – 




When the new way isn’t the best way

   I’m 52 years old.  That means I grew up before cell phones, before personal computers, before the term “helicopter parent” was coined.   Raised in a suburb of the Big Apple, our neighborhood was our playground.  On weekends we were out in the ‘hood till dinner time, then out again till the streetlights went on.  If  mom wanted me in, she called over the fence or rang the neighbors house in the vicinity of where we were playing.  Playing!.. kickball, tag, bikes, skateboards, House Boat in our neighbors lawnmower trailer (our seating consisted of peat moss bags and we considered it luxurious).  
   
   Twelve years was the standard age to begin babysitting, and being located in an apparently fertile neighborhood, there were many charges to “sit”. My friends and I jumped right in to the babysitters pool as soon as we were of age.   At  fourteen I worked at the Staten Island zoo taking care of the ponies at the pony ride track.  I also cleaned house for an elderly neighbor and  at sixteen I waitressed at a catering hall near our home.   That might sound like a lot but it wasn’t, not in that day.  Most everyone I knew was doing the same and if you’re near my age or older, your story is probably similar.   It was expected of us, and we liked the feeling of making our own money, playing grown-up in this little way, learning.. what it means to be responsible, to be an adult.  
   In elementary school I  walked to and from the school with friends.  I was expected to get myself there and home again, along with  everyone else.  I  was bullied a little by a few local boys briefly, but figured out how to show them I wasn’t taking their crap. (flipped one over my shoulder, as he tried taking my hat for the 15th time. We are friends to this day)  As teens we experienced a flare of racial tension at the high school and as I traveled to and from school on the public transit bus and joined a predominantly black track team, a few of those girls tried bullying me. I understood their problem with accepting me, they had experienced the ugliness of racism and it’s hard to know who to trust, so the walls go up. Eventually we found our way to a mutual respect and then a friendship.  We had all figured out  how to turn it around, on our own. 
    Here’s why I just typed all that out.  There’s a trend I’m hearing and seeing in this community and it’s happening all over the country – young people having a really difficult time in their teen years with anxiety, severe depression, eating disorders, behavioral issues, substance abuse.  It’s not like those are new issues, but it seems to me and a few friends I’ve discussed this with, that they are far more prevalent now than they ever were before.   
   My son, now 21, came to have lunch with me at the house today.  I asked him what he thought about this particular issue and what he said kinda shocked me, and then made a heck of a lot of sense.   
  ” Kids today have everything done for them.  Anything goes wrong, mom or dad sweep in and take care of it.   When we were in High School, how many kids actually had a job besides school?  Not very many.  Even in college, how many had a job?   The schools are set up now in a way that if there’s any problem whatsoever, the school steps in and manages the crisis or doesn’t allow the scuffle or makes a team or award all about equal time or participation instead of earned accomplishment.  So when a real life crisis comes along or a goal is hard to reach,  and those factors like parent or school aren’t in the vicinity to manage it, the kid has no tools to manage it for himself.  He/she doesn’t know what to do because he/she has never had to figure it out for himself. ”  
  He continued…  “Social Media is a bad influence- most people post their very best selves, so all you see is a perfect life on the screen, not all the realities. It’s  not an honest picture of real life.  You’re feeling insecure about your looks or your life and you see how perfect everyone else’s life appears on the screen and it makes you feel worse about yourself.   It’s also easier to bully someone if you’re not face to face.  Social Media is not a great thing for young people”. 
* don’t we all see older people behaving pretty badly on social media as well 
  

BOOM. 

    It’s not lost on me that I have at times absolutely been a helicopter mom.  Funny thing –  I have always been a fierce protector of my children and despite all those efforts I have not been able to keep them from  experiencing some  hard realities life throws at you.   Something I think I got right – they were given responsibilities and expected to pull their weight around the house and in their places of employ and at school.  There were consequences if they didn’t.    I’m very lucky that despite handing them those phones at a fairly young age, and admittedly because it helped me keep in touch with them and keep my own anxiety in check regarding their whereabouts,  we have managed to make it through those years and into adulthood without some of the real damage this new way of being has  apparently caused so many young people. 


  Note:  Depression and Anxiety among other mental health issues is a very real thing, I’m not making light of it.  I deal with anxiety myself, although thankfully it doesn’t cripple me.  Genetics and environment play a role, too, and on this subject I am no expert. 
   What’s the answer?  One thought I have – maybe the way we were raised didn’t need much fixing.  Maybe doing everything for our kids is actually harming them instead of making life better than how we had it.   Maybe how we had it.. was pretty darn good.   As for those smartphones- well, it’s real hard to go backwards when the tool itself is so useful in so many ways.  I hope we all figure it out before this next generation is ruined.  Sometimes, the new way isn’t the best way.. 
   Till soon, friends –