life – Page 8 – This Old House 2

Clowns to the left of me…

.. jokers to the right.. here I am.. stuck in the middle with you.

(you’re humming that tune, aren’t ya)

Kinda how I feel right now … what with the Hilary/Trump decision looming. And the kids-leaving-the-nest situation glooming.

Thank you all for your comments and commiseration and kind words and wisdom through experience. We moved my daughter and her boyfriend into their new condo and they are settling in to figure out whether they’re good together for the long haul. I happen to think that’s a very wise choice. M and I did nothing of the sort because it would have been frowned upon by his family and he did not want to rock the boat. So we jumped in with both feet, rocked our own boats dramatically and had a baby a year later. When you do that sort of thing, you had better hope it was a wise choice, because you could also find yourself looking at the other, saying “WHO the HELL are YOU?”. And you know.. by then it’s kinda difficult to extract yourself. SO… I cheer them on and wish them well and miss the clatter of their feet up and down the hallway stairs and the morning chatter and even the bickering when they ask your opinion but don’t really want it. (That’s one of my favorites).

K’s new kitchen..

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.. the manchild and his GF went on their first major shopping excursion last night, because they will need just about everything. I can’t really throw them a “living in sin” party, either… SO…. They decided they really want a new comfy sectional sofa, not the old couch we have in storage.. so they financed it. It’s his first major purchase besides his vehicle, but a good way to build credit. Now, this is the kid who would have to visit three sneaker stores before deciding on a pair… even when he was SEVEN YEARS OLD! I knew what they were in for. … So.. last night while they were out shopping, the text went like this…

Me: How are you making out?……

Him: Struggling.
Sneaker problems.

Long story short, a couch was purchased in espresso, not the off white they almost got.. because I think I brought home the point that eventually someone with new blue jeans was going to sit on that white couch and leave blue dye smudges all over it, and heaven forbid blue jean baby has a glass of red wine in hand and does an oops…. or perhaps the dog will get into the Valentines chocolate box sitting on the sofa table and smear it all over said white couch while you’re out to dinner with your significant other who PAID for it… the couch and the chocolates… (I wish I could tell you I’m not speaking from experience.)

I’m happy for them, and I’m getting used to the idea, and doing what I usually do when I need a distraction. Spend. New blue hydrangea bowl on the dining room table, because *s*t*r*e*s*s*

In the midst of the moving, we’re having some beautiful days… here are a few shots from the garden…

The pansy pot was found out in the woods, it’s a perfect pansy pot, don’t ya think? …. Just to give you an accurate picture of ME right now… picture fingers in my ears… singing La la la la la la la.. and just looking around not really focusing on any one thing… because THIS….

I’m looking at the woman in the mirror

I shouldn’t write this post today, because the emotions that stormed in on me this morning are still brand new and raw. And yet here I go… can’t help my inclination to dump out the emotion du jour, as immediately as possible.

See this chick? That’s me this morning… before the bomb dropped. I took the picture because my profile pic in a few places is so -last year-. I’m currently growing my hair long, just because holy shit, I’m 51 !!!… and how long can you get away with long hair, you know? Some women pull it off in older age rather well. My grandmother Elsie wore hers in an elegant bun and it looked blond and fabulous till the end. I hate buns, and ponytails and clips and barrettes and headbands and scrunchies… because I can’t stand the feel of them on my head. … so that’s not going to be an option lest I go insane trying to deal with the phobia.. or headache of those contraptions.

Oh, the serenity.. the contentment that all was right with the world after some stressful times …… even liked my hair!!!…… it was a fine moment this morning…. lasted almost half a day.

We’ve just learned we are going to be (GASP)……

EMPTY NESTERS.

I envy those of you who actually LOOK FORWARD to the day. Oh, the happy dance I’ve seen some of you do when the last chick flew the coop and you settled in with a glass of wine or scotch on the rocks out on the porch to enjoy the quiet, to come back to the YOU or the TWO OF YOU that you were all those years ago, before the kids came along. Some of you are wishing for the day to hurry up and arrive, bemoaning the hustle and hassle that is often family life. That’s never been me. NO.. I rued the day.

Truth, I love my guy. Second truth – I have always identified strongly as a mom with all the mom stuff that comes with the territory of raising kids and having them, you know.. AROUND a lot. I like a house full of family. No, I love it. And now we’re going to be just two again… the kids out on their own, hopefully happily moving forward into adulthood and all it’s responsibilities.. and the two of us will rediscover what it is to be the two of us. I have faith in my kids for sure, and they won’t be very far away… but still.. the .. Empty… Nest.

We resurrected This Old House six years ago with all of the family still in -growing up- mode. Now, the entire second floor will be … vacant. As much as I love this house and we put every fiber of our being into bringing it back to life.. I look around today and feel the weight of it’s size.

Weird, this. The woman I see in the mirror… someone different now. Reluctantly. Why does a song from Metallica keep playing in my mind…

Here I go…. turn the page…..

Rain and Relationships with a Garden Tour for good measure

Come take a walk with me as I mull over family issues and do morning chores here at the farm… I’ll show you how my garden grows, or doesn’t… too.

First stop is the hen house and rabbit hutch.

Harley (black bunny) had an episode of colic recently and because he looked like he was about to die in ten minutes, off to the vet we went. Did you know that too much of a commercial rabbit pellet diet is not good for them? I sure didn’t. Collard greens, celery, carrots sparingly, parsley, berries, and lots of Timothy Hay are what they should be eating. The pellets you see in pet stores are not meant to be their main diet. I’ve always given my bunnies lots of greens and such, but they always had a big bowl of the pellets as well. Hence, the colic. Harley is better now, and loves his collard greens.

The girls want OUT into the lush grass, but it’s only allowed when I’m out there paying attention to hawk whereabouts. Not happening on a rainy day like today. Their egg laying has been prolific latelely, have I mentioned how much I adore chickens?

Next stop is the barn, where horses have already been banging buckets because they’ve heard me down at the coop.

They don’t like being in, would prefer to be standing out in the rain, truth be told.. but when it’s still this chilly I keep them in until the rain clears. Admittedly, it’s more for me than them. Kinda like their blankets in winter.

The ancient pear tree that is half-hollow is full of blossoms again this year. I loath the day it keels over, but for now it still appears very happy up there on the hill. Thank you powers that be.

After barn chores now that spring has arrived, I head over to the garden to do whatever needs tending. The Arugula is coming up, but not much else. I’m concerned all the rain and cold air temps have thwarted the seed efforts. Time will tell.

Same thing happening in our little greenhouse… slow growing.

I planted six purple sweet potato plants… we’ll see how that goes, first attempt at potatoes. Any advice?

The ancient stand of lilacs are thriving.. Mike limed them last year and it helped.

Will anyone move in to this $7. bird house?

So far, nuthin.

My grandfather was a gardener.. and oh, what a spring tulip

garden he had across his front lawn.

I remember each spring he would take his scissors

outside with me and careful cut a bouquet for me

to bring to my teacher the next day.

When I look at my garden beds this time of year,

I am reminded of him and his love for his gardens..

and the birds, even the squirrels, who he fed peanuts

out of his hand while sitting on the back porch.

So, the rain in this post is obvious, but not the reference to relationships.

Rain IN relationships is inevitable, we’ve all figured that out by now, haven’t we. I have always been a worrier and as a mother that is tenfold in my being. I don’t like it, as the old saying goes… worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere. But it’s not something you can just set down like a heavy purse.. if you’re a worrier. No, it’s more like an extra skin that you can’t shed.

Being a mom, and particularly that mom... when my kids are hurting, I hurt. I always believed the teen years would be the most difficult, and they did have their challenges. I niavely assumed as they got older the worry would subside, the protective instincts. But ooh, nooo… the circumstances just change, not the concern. As they grow into adults they have their own relationships and they need to learn as they grow, just like we did, how to make them work, what doesn’t work… who is worth the effort, who isn’t. It’s painful to watch them struggle when things aren’t going well, but as my wise mother said, no one gets through life without struggle and pain and loss. It’s part of living. The hard part is leaving them be, letting them sort it all out without interferring, because you want to FIX IT for them. Raising children to be good, strong adults means letting them do for themselves, not just being there to FIX. As it should be… but Lord, it ain’t easy.

In the Toilet

Target is getting huge flack for allowing Transgender people to use the bathroom they feel comfortable using. This is what I wrote on their FB page –

Congratulations for being a company with a conscience. I don’t know what it’s like to be born with a mixed gender identity, nor do I know what it’s like to be born with black or red or lily white skin , blue eyes, mental illness or a physical handicap or gay. What I know is none of these things is a choice, we are who we are. Treating those who are not made exactly like we are with hateful behavior is ugly, prejudice, small minded. I think a separate bathroom for ignorance might be a good idea though. Target, I like you even more now. Thank you for standing up tall and treating all with the same respect. As for worrying about your kids and grandkids in public bathrooms- you shouldn’t send your kids into a public bathroom alone – creeps come in all shapes and sizes. Just read some of the comments on this thread. – and there were many nasty comments on that thread.

I’m sure some of you disagree with me. I ask you this – and these are questions that would have to be answered if you continue to go down this thought path logically. Who is going to monitor the “gender” of people as they enter bathrooms? Who’s going to verify the integrity of the monitor and who’s responsible for paying them? I guess they need to be EVERYWHERE, right? There are thousands of documented cases of priests, teachers, coaches… who are PREDATORS. Hell, some of them chose their profession because of it’s access to vulnerable victims, often children. Where are the stats on Trans?… is it such a non-issue that there aren’t any? Therefore…bare with me and keep going down this path of thought… should there be separate bathrooms for adults and children? Should there be separate bathrooms for priests, teachers, coaches?….. Sounds ridiculous, right?…. kinda not do-able at all. So where are you drawing the line? Transgender people were born feeling they were something different than what their parts told them. That alone doesn’t make them dangerous. One thing is clear – Their life ain’t easy if they choose to be what they feel is their genuine self – because of how some people perceive them – as freaks. They may be different than you and I, but that doesn’t make them predators.. or freaks. It makes them different than you and I.

Bottom line in the public restroom procession is…….you’ve been peeing next to trans all your life, maybe you just didn’t know it. It’s not a new phenomenon. It’s becoming more prominent because they are tired of hiding in the shadows. I can’t understand what it is to be them, and neither can you. We can only try understanding, show compassion, humanity. Every being deserves that.

Come. Sit. Stay.

The porch is officially open here at This Old House…. let me not ever live in a house where there is no porch. I grew up in an old farmhouse smack in the middle of a Staten Island, New York neighborhood where houses were stacked close together. Our house was the original, built in the 1800s, before the area became a ‘hood. On the front of that old house was a porch, where many a rain stormy day was spent watching the drops fall around us, perhaps catch the neighbors arguing or playing cards or reading on their own front porch, and it offered shade for sipping lemonade or iced tea on hot summer days.

When we re-built This Old House – we knew what we had to add – a porch. There’s one on the front, facing the road – which we rarely use. The rear porch looks out over our gardens and the hay fields and horses up on the hill. It’s screened in summer to keep out the bugs and glassed in winter to retain some heat. On a cold winter day where the sun shines bright, it warms up enough so that we can still sit out there with a cup of coffee comfortably and enjoy the view, maybe even read a bit of the book currently occupying the nightstand.

(that’s a jeans rug crafted by Hilary of Crazy as a Loom – so durable, just love it)

Today after getting the various “stuff” done that needed doing…. I looked at the beckoning porch and said.. why ever not. I grabbed my new read – Susan Branch’s Isle of Dreams.. and sat in the reading chair, a light breeze flowing through. I highly recommend giving yourself time in your busy day, time to just relax and let go of whatever might have your knickers in a knot.

If you’re not familiar with Susan Branch, she is an author and illustrator who resides on my favorite Island, Martha’s Vineyard. I love her water color illustrations, as well as her writing style.. and oooh, her recipes are divine. Her real life fairy tale story is one of courage in the face of heartbreak, and resilience. My current read – Isle of Dreams, is hand written and illustrated by her- an amazing feat, and feast for the eyes and soul.

Below is just a sample of the writing and illustrations in her books… there are three.

Quotes like this one are sprinkled throughout the books.. you feel the warmth she envelopes around you with her style, her illustrations.. her humor and grace. Kind of like the comfort of sitting on your porch with a cup’a… watching the world go by…

And the sun will rise…

No matter what happens in life (and death) the sun always rises. Life goes on. Sometimes in the greatest losses, that concept seems surreal.

Mom and I flew down to Melbourne, Florida last week to be with family as we said good bye to our Uncle, Father, Husband, Grandfather, Father-in-law, Friend. While the occasion was a sad one, I couldn’t help but note that my Uncle also loved getting together with family and friends. He was always a big presence at gatherings, and more than a few of us felt he was among us in spirit as we gathered from all over the country on the beach and at his service and his home afterward.

I’m not religious, as I’ve stated here before.. but I do believe there is more to the human spirit than we fully understand… our bodies are a series of nuts and bolts that work together miraculously, but it’s our essence.. what makes us individuals, with feelings, emotion, empathy, etc… that cannot be explained by mechanical means. That energy in some form, I believe, remains.

We had a few days to soak up some Florida sun… the weather was perfect and we enjoyed the glorious sunrises and sunsets, as well as time spent with family.

Have you ever tried Frickles? ( basically beer battered fried pickles) Lord, let there be no Heaven where there are no dogs, horses and frickles. – Just sayin.

Gains and Losses

A belated Happy Easter to you !

We got together with some of our extended family and enjoyed a conversation filled -catching up – meal together. While I am not religious, Easter represents renewal for me. We’re spending more time outdoors.. there are buds on the trees, birds hunting for good nest sites…and, I get to spoil my kids with baskets full of chocolate, a few spring clothes items and some silly fun things too. They’re grown now, but the tradition will continue because I can’t bear to give it up, truth.

I picked my father up from the nursing home and he was glad to join us. I imagine one of the hardest realities for him has been giving up his car – his independence. I had to sign him out and it felt weird . He was taken back by that simple act too. However… it is very obvious from his conversations with us and his growing relationships with the staff that he feels safe where he lives now, he is content. Huge gift for both of us. When I brought him back and he returned to his room, he sat down in his big easy chair, exhausted…and at peace. I don’t know how else to describe it. Who would think life in a nursing home would bring comfort… and yet, for some it really does. In this environment he has gained the stability, routine and even companionship that he was never able to establish for himself in his earlier life due to his choices. Now, with no choices, he has what he wouldn’t give himself before… and he is doing well. In his new life path, which he did not choose, it seems he has gained more than he lost. Ironic.

Our family lost a patriarch last week –
I grew up on Staten Island, and at 19 moved to Connecticut to live on my Aunt and Uncle’s horse farm just up the road from This Old House. I brought my adopted ancient horse with me, and lived with them for four years, helping care for their horses while attending college and finding my way to the life I’ve made here with my husband and children. The opportunity they gave me will never be forgotten.
D had conquered cancer about nine years ago, but the harsh treatment rendered him weaker and encouraged Parkinsons to bloom in his system. D was a very vibrant, very active athlete until that time.. and from there, although his spirit never once gave in, his body eventually gave out. My aunt and uncle have been a team since they were both very young – they’ve been through many changes in life together, some hardships, many joyful times. Both have lived their lives fully, and together. Their children and grandchildren gather around my Aunt now, and together they will move forward. My heart goes out to her. I have no doubt she will be OK and I know she won’t be alone. There is no way to avoid navigation through the new reality of life without my uncle, but she’s made of the stuff that will see her through and there is still a life to live. My uncle would want that for her.

Peace be with us all in this season of renewal.

Finding Our Way

My father has been living at a senior care/rehabilitation center for five months now. It’s not the ending to his story that he would have chosen, but due to the choices he has made over the course of his life, he landed where he was steering his ship.
I give him credit in accepting this new life he didn’t want with a certain level of resolve, although for a while there was a resentment toward me for having been the one who actually executed all the transactions it takes to get him to that place. He recently likened me to a hurricane coming in and wiping out all that he possessed. I understand that sentiment. He had been in poor health for many years due to his own neglect.. and finally that last heart attack rendered him too weak to live alone. In just a few weeks time with the consult of many a health care provider, it was determined without someone to live with him, he shouldn’t be alone any longer.
Now.. at first, when he told me his “hurricane” feelings, the proverbial hair immediately went up on the back of my neck, a pattern we have followed our entire relationship. I took a deep breath, ready to defend myself once again…. and it came to me in that instant that he had every right to feel that way, it was his truth. So in five seconds I changed the direction of the wind in my sail and gently explained that it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, to dismantle HIS life and rearrange it in a way I knew he would not choose. I would never have chosen that job myself, but I was the only one available to do it. He said he understood, and knows he is where he needs to be. The short conversation was miraculous given our normal “routine”. A storm headed off at the pass, a blessing.
I visit him weekly, sometimes more often, bringing him groceries for the little refrigerator we bought for his room…and his beloved Subway Sandwich as well. I continue to brace myself every time I walk in… my “be kind” mantra repeated over and over until I reach his room. He is still who he is… and I am still me. He will tell me what I should have brought or how the sandwich should have been made, and I will either get annoyed, or laugh it off. I will never get the love or acknowledgements that I have looked for from him my entire life, and he will never recognize all that has been done for him by more than a few people, regardless of his self centered nature for all those years. He was damn lucky, and still is. The intelligent part of me says “It doesn’t matter, now, Karen. Let it all go. He’s just an old man who needs someone to give a shit. Period “. The little girl in me still wants to know “WHY”… but there is no reason, he sees no fault or lack or shortcoming, and never will. So yes, Karen .. Let it Go.
Yesterday I stopped in to deliver his soda and chips and Boost. When I arrived, as usual, he wanted to talk. He got all serious for a few minutes and said “You know, I have a lot of time to think here. And what I am realizing is… I’ve had a good life. I’ve done a good job in all areas, really… I got to live on a boat for ten years, a dream of mine. I did a good job of raising a family….. (hair up instantaneously, but then I took a deep breath, changed the wind in that sail again, and said to myself.. it doesn’t matter now, let it go.) .. and I have always done a good job wherever I worked.” I’ll give him that, he was dedicated to whatever job he held. He continued ” As I sit here I realize it’s important to feel good about what you accomplished in life, because the memories are what you have left. I can honestly say I feel very good about the person I am.” I smiled and simply replied… I’m glad you have that peace of mind, Dad. And you know? I meant it.
As I sat there listening to him, I realized his absolute inability… or is it unwillingness…. to see himself for who he had truly been. Case in point… does it ever occur to him that he has two daughters, but only one is willing to visit him and do what needs to be done in his last years? That missing daughter is a genuine, decent person. He’s missed out big time in the relationship department.. but he doesn’t feel it, doesn’t see it… doesn’t even ask. Narcissism is one of the worst forms of mental illness. Why do I say that? A narcissistic person, I believe, is so engrossed in his own being, his own needs, happiness, his own agendas, that he or she never really sees their impact or lack thereof on the people around them in life, including their own families. They don’t appreciate good relationships, recognize or nurture them. Judging by the conclusions my father is drawing as he sits in an elder care facility, pondering his life choices, there is no question of forgiving himself or regrets or wanting to right a few wrongs or even appreciating all that is STILL being done for him. No… he’s content and happy with the choices he made and the fact that he has a staff tending to his every need is actually a bonus. That picture he has painted for himself is another gift he has given himself…and.. to some extent I am glad for him.
The little girl wanted to ask him how he could ignore the obvious, but the woman I am becoming.. yes still becoming at the age of 51… is finally able to change the direction of the wind in her sails. Most of the time. A gift I have given to me.

About that thing called LOVE

Are you a Big Fan of what some call the -Lovers Holiday – ? I have to admit, I’m not really the romantic type. Oh, I love People and things, like my husband and kids and animals and extended family, etc…and seaglass and puppies and horses and Marthas Vineyard and vacations on warm sunny beaches with my toes tucked in the sand…. But I’m not particularly demonstrative in the mushy way that some go about Love. Is that good, or is that bad? I don’t know. I’m not an ice cube, to be clear, but over the top, or even anywhere near that summit, I am not.

There are many forms of Love.. many ways to show it, many reasons for it. Romance to me isn’t so much the hearts and flowers and mushy love letters, poems, chocolates, declarations…. nope.. over the years romance is more about the daily interactions – going to the drug store on a bitter cold night to get your significant other the cold remedy they need, or getting up at 1 a.m. to feed the baby or let the dog out or check the fire…. or going to that darned family reunion you don’t want to go to because your partner wants you there. It’s needing something from someone but recognizing they aren’t in a great place at the moment so you let your own needs go so as not to overwhelm them. It’s believing in someone enough to help them follow their dream, even if it’s not quite your own… or having their support as you challenge yourself or follow your own dreams… It’s knowing someone has your back, always…and returning the favor.

I usually make something yummy and chocolate – this year I made pumpkin spiced iced cookies, recipe HERE... but I saw a few other fun recipes on Pinterest (love me some Pinterest) … that I’ve saved for future reference..

Recipe HERE

Great picture tutorial on how to make a heart cake

Something I’ve learned about LOVE over the years… it has to start with you. By you I mean… you gotta love yourself. That was a tough lesson I had to learn, took me many years. Why? I couldn’t tell ya, and I even had some therapy sessions to try to figure it all out. Ultimately, I don’t think it was the therapy that got me to a better place. For me, when I sat in the therapists chair, she was telling me things I already knew, and I nodded my head politely to get through the 45 minutes. No…. I think there came a time when I took a good long look at my life, at my life’s patterns… and discovered I could forgive the mistakes because they weren’t made intentionally, I should forgive the mistakes of others because holding grudges is like drinking poison.. and the person I was as a whole was genuine, kind most of the time, decent and true. If I could use those words to describe myself and know it wasn’t bull, then why didn’t I think I was worthy of my own admiration. Why didn’t I believe it? Life is hard, for all of us in one way or another. We sure as hell don’t need to make it harder for ourselves.

So.. I say…. The “lovers holiday” is not just for those who are romantically linked. And Hey – if you’re the romantic type, and you’ve got that romantic person to do those romantic things with that you see in the movies, have at it! Enjoy. Hallmark loves you especially. If you’re NOT one of those and you’re just wishing for this event to be over with…. I say use this day to acknowledge your own worth.. an appreciation for who you have come to be. For once, don’t focus on any of the things you might have done better, don’t focus on the love you don’t have… blah blah blah. Pay tribute to -you-. Do something nice for yourself.

My husband and kids will get cards (mushy! even) and small gifts from me, plus that plate of cookies on the counter… and a nice dinner. There will be a fire in the fireplace as the temps drop to close to zero overnight and the dogs will be at our feet as the husband and I sip a glass of wine, or Baileys, and watch a movie – (or a rerun of Law and Order Special Victims Unit – because right now we’re hooked) To me… being able to count on that… is my romance. I love it. Every simple part about it. And loving the me I have become… (and it’s still hard for me to even type that without feeling it’s narcistic) … is the icing on the chocolate cake.

Cute Kids craft…

One more thing… if you were to give yourself something for this holiday, what would it be? (Besides the wish for good health and happiness, something we all wish for regularly)… No, I want you to be materialistic right now with your wish… what would it be? If I could get away with it? I’d add a dog to the family – a pomeranian. Oh, how I love these little dogs. The only things that stop me are 1) the husband 2) I’d need to -rescue- it. Buying a dog now that I have been in rescue for a few years just doesn’t feel right. But look at these precious pups…

Indeed, that would be my indulgence. You?

Ps… none of these photos are mine.

Pull up a chair and grab a cuppa… it’s a long one and it goes all over the place

Because SNOW.

It’s 7:40 a.m. and I’ve already fed the dogs, chickens and rabbits, mucked stalls and fed and watered the horses, let them run around for a bit and closed them back in. The snow started to fly about an hour ago and we’re told it’s gonna be a good one. I’ve got work to do at my editors desk here, so being snowed in is probably a good thing.. less distraction to take me away from it when the -inside- is more pleasant than the -outside- .

This picture was taken yesterday during the -pleasant- portion of our winter weather.

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Have I told you lately how much I love being able to work a job I enjoy .. from home?… it’s a big blessing. Back in the day, there was a three year period of time where I worked a secretarial job in a windowless office. For a girl like me, that was very depressing. I need to see the daylight, the sky, branches on trees, the weather…

My son and his girl have been enjoying the sun and sand and 80 degree temps of St. Maarten, returning tonight, weather permitting. As if I needed another reason to worry, of course they fly on a storm day. We have not been to St. Maarten yet.. but the kids have enjoyed it so much and friends have recommended it highly, I think we’re going to take a family trip next January. Of course, it takes two years to get the Mr. to agree to take a vacation. Remember the Fonz… and how he just could not bring himself to say he was Wrrrrrrrrrrr…………….wrrrrrrrrrrrr……………. wrrrrr…rrrrr….rrrrrrrr…..wrong? Just swap that word out for Vaaaaaaa…v aaaaaaaaa..a…..vaaaaaaa……cation.

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The husband and I are trying to avoid gluten, so in the following recipe I will swap out regular pasta (woe is ME!!)… for the gluten free variety. I have yet to find a gluten free anything that tastes as good as the original stuff, but I have to admit I feel so much better when I don’t eat it.

Anyway!… this looks great for a cold winters eve, don’t ya think?

Chicken Bacon Pasta

Recipe HERE

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How about that Superbowl!!!….

I’m a Patriots fan, so it was not my most favorite. Here are my thoughts.. I don’t like extremely cocky players, for me that kind of behavior takes away from the game. Not all agree with me, and that’s OK. SO… I think Cam Newton and his team played outstanding this year and deserved a spot in the Bowl, but there is big attitude in that camp and lots of unsportsmanlike behavior in my opinion… and so perhaps they were knocked back a little and reminded they are not Gods with this loss. Newton certainly appeared rattled, blowing a little tantrum as he lay in the field at one point.

It was a weird game… kinda reminded me of preschool in some ways — there were players with what appeared to be pacifiers in their mouths, some pattycake play, a temper tantrum or three or four…

(pic from another game, but here it is.. the new in-thing, the pacifier! )

As for the poor behaviors – the excess celebratory gestures for even the littlest things, the pushing shoving stomp-on matches,.. the temper tantrums… See, here’s where I think these athletes need to be held responsible for their behavior. They have kids and grown adults looking up to them, idolizing them… they’re paid a ridiculous amount.. so why can’t they be held to a certain standard of behavior? They aren’t curing disease or saving lives, they play damn good ball, that’s it. So .. at least set a good example or pay a hefty fine.. too much to ask?

This guy likes to do the Superman Gesture …

To me the measure of a true athlete who deserves the worship is one who behaves well even in defeat. Sorry, Cam.. Superman, you ain’t. Not because of the loss, dude, everyone loses sometimes…

GOod article in the New York Times about this very thing…. HERE

The Broncos – also not their best, having many opportunities to pull ahead and yet not achieving them. Their defense was stellar, and deserved the win. In the end they managed it, and I’m happy for Peyton Manning.. who is or isn’t retiring after this win.

Weird Bowl for sure.

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I love this tee shirt, decided to order it today from the Sundance catalog… my favorite “shop”. HOwever, they’ve gotten so expensive I don’t order much from them anymore..

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I’ll close the post with a picture of the two sisters who arrived in CT yesterday afternoon – now known as Daisy and Dolly…. Their mom was an aussie, not a lab – I had that info wrong. Dad was probably a rotti, me thinks. These two are adored already – life is good!