We’re all just walking each other home

 

….. one of my most favorite quotes, attributed to Ram Dass, an American spiritual leader of the 1970s.  This country and the world at large is in big trouble on so many levels, all because of the flaws in humanity.  Recently I am making every effort to focus on the uplifting things, and that quote is one of them.  It truly helps me to believe in that simple concept and gives me inspiration to do whatever little good  and truly see it anywhere it can be found.

I don’t have much to say here right now, just that I am enjoying my new grandson immensely and watching my daughter become the wonderful mother we all knew she’d be.

We’ve had some glorious weather and I’ve been out in it, soaking it all up, getting some exercise, enjoy this farm and the woods and the shoreline trails.

Till soon –

 

My Sunshine

 

Being a grandmother is something I have looked forward to since my kids grew into adults.  I have missed the baby stage and all those in between.. with the exception of the moody teenager who knows everything everywhere all at once, with attitude.  Our grandson was born six weeks early and spent two weeks in the NICU just to be certain he was strong enough to come home with his parents.  He was and he is thriving, having had his first pediatric check up yesterday with a glowing report.  He is my little sunshine and I am so very proud of the mother my daughter became instantly.   I love that my own mother gets the chance to be a great grandmother, too.

My daugher-in-law is due with  baby girl in May, stay tuned!  She sent me a picture she found of a beautiful easy-to-make spring centerpiece and I absolutely love it.  So easy to throw together, too…. use a clear vase – almost any shape will do… a bunch of carrots with the greens still attached, a handful of tulips… put the carrots in the vase with greens sticking out of the top, place tulips in the center of the greens, and fill with water 🥕 🌹

The above is mine, and below is my neighbor’s 🐇 – love the purple tulips!

With the warmer weather I’m more inclined to get out for walks/hikes and get those recommended 10,000 daily  steps in.   That’s harder than it would seem, but I have been managing to come close and if I take an extended hike/walk I surpass it.  Of course, I’m using my phone health app to monitor and I don’t wear my phone on my person at all times, so it’s possible I’m getting quite a bit more in than what’s recorded.  A recent physical indicated elevated cholesterol, which runs in my family, but a subsequent scan of arteries reveals no disease  and I really really want to stay away from statins so I’m tweaking my diet (plenty of room to improve!) and sticking to a decent exercise routine.  Can you believe I still haven’t lost the 25 pounds I’d like to lose? Oh, it comes off in little bits and then jumps right back up to that yucky number.  I’m not giving up though… for me, it’s what I’m putting in my mouth, not a lack of working out.  Ask me how much I love food though!  It’s my drug of choice and I like to cook and bake for others, which kinda sucks when there’s a weight loss goal to be achieved.

Bob’s Pond  and Hammonasset River Trail with my trail buddy, Kai.  Yesterday was a beautiful spring day, so we took advantage of the inspiration and explored land trust trails.

 

The sight and sound of the roiling river was music to my soul.  As a hearing impaired person, to be able to still hear this force of water is a gift 🙂

I could talk about the horror of the newest school shooting and that hideous fact that death by fire arms is now the leading cause of death for children in this country, but I am so weary and so disgusted by the lack of any action by the powers that be… and for all the wrong reasons… but I’ll leave it here with my mother’s words below…

*Thoughts and Prayers*
Let’s send thoughts and prayers again.
It worked the last time
and the time before that and the one before that.
It did work, it must have
because we haven’t done much of anything else!
Thoughts and prayers because it can’t be guns.
The NRA says it’s not and they would know
and tell us the truth.
They don’t benefit from a flush gun industry.
Do they?
Thoughts and prayers because….
the Second Amendment says that’s all that’s allowed
according to the NRA and many legislators.
Besides guns don’t kill people, people kill people.
People kill children.
People kill children with guns.
We can put flowers outside the schools, the churches,
the synagogues, the mosques, the supermarkets.
That’s allowed,
Along with the thoughts and prayers, of course.
Just not sensible gun laws.
Meaningful legislation is not necessary.
It will upset the NRA, the Gun Lobby, the Insurrectionists,
the White Supremacists.
Limited magazines not necessary, background checks at gun shows
not necessary!
So, here we are, left with thoughts and prayers
And flowers.
Always the flowers and the candles, against the fences.
As for more mass shootings
Well, tomorrow’s another day.
Mourning in America!
I’m not a religious person but I find myself praying for us all .. often.   I hope all is well in your neck of the woods, thank you for  taking the time to stop in here, your comments and thoughts are always appreciated .

 

Sometimes you just can’t look away from the train wreck

I have been trying to ignore all the political bullshit for my own sanity and I don’t have a “side” or a leaning- except toward rational , common sense, humane and better together mentality. ( for those of you who call me a liberal and as if it’s a dirty word, well if those qualities listed above are a dirty word to you, you’re the damaged one) I vote accordingly, sometimes R, sometimes D but I believe the party system is now failing us big time. But what I am truly saddened by, what is most alarming to me is the mentality of the new Republican Party. Dear friends who are lifelong republicans are expressing the same dismay and some have actually changed to independents. So many hypocrisies. Remember the Incessant Lock her up , Lock him up… but if it’s their guy, no fair going after political opponents, it’s unAmerican. In a time when we are still swamped with healthcare crisis, mental health crisis, poverty, homelessness, how many school shootings and mass shootings is it now per year in this country, crumbling infrastructure, border and immigration issues, the fallout from a pandemic, the list goes on…. R s are focusing on book banning, period regulating, banning people who like to dress up in drag( been happening since the Dawn of time, folks) uterus regulating ( do you think that would ever ever ever happen with a man’s genitals?) and even when it is proven by their own words!! News outlets Exposed! That they knew they lied about big things and they didn’t even like the entity they were promoting and lifting – there are no consequences. Zip. Business as usual.
What. The. fuck.
And all the while, we the people continue our infighting and the great divide widens and I do not understand how every single one of us doesn’t understand that will be our end. Divided we will fall- all because some powerful talking heads twisted our truths and some of us, enough of us.. fell for it.
If you think China and Russia aren’t watching with utter glee our unraveling, well what more to be said…. That.
I literally pray that we the people, all of us, remember why we came together in the first place and what truly made us great, and find a better way than what we are currently electing. Otherwise, we are so very very fucked.

Just Call Me GRAM ! ❤

My first born had her first born on Saturday!! We are over the moon in love with our precious grandson.  He was in a hurry, apparently, so he is six weeks early. However, and Amen… he is healthy and doing great!   So is his mother, whom I am so very proud of ❤

 

    There’s something about being in a hospital that gives you such a diverse slice of humanity. So many stories passing by- the joyous, the tragic, the troubled, and everything in between. The highly educated and skilled and affluent, the poor and struggling, the healthy and the unwell, the families, the elderly, the living and the dying. Those who love their jobs no matter how demanding and draining and fraught with difficulty, both emotional and physical , and those who begrudgingly get through their shift.
I can of course only speak from my own experiences and being so hard of hearing, I pay much more attention to those around me than I suppose the average person might. What I notice are the wealthiest among us are not for certain those walking around with Gucci bags and a stellar wardrobe and a fine education and important meetings and places to be. It’s not even the healthiest among us, although that’s a treasure one should value above all … Nope. It’s the people who have enough love within that they freely shine it on others regardless of their circumstances, in the warm greetings and casual smiles in passing, the little courtesies, the big ones, the sharing of stories and commiseration , the compassion shown to strangers, the nurses and healthcare staff who are exhausted, who have seen so much heartbreak, but still show up and shine their light and do the hard things, and do them with kindness. It’s the people who embrace without effort the notion that we are all in this together , that truly get the most out of life. They have what matters most.
Till soon –

Wonder Women

To all of you out there, cheers to women everywhere. We are life makers, life savers, love makers, career builders, home makers, soul mates, worry warriors, the sounding board, the bulletin board, the safe place, the calm in the storm.. the storm itself when need be…the soft landing, the tough love, the easy love …the Love. And we each know how damn hard that can be at times. But we do it anyway, even when our own reserves are depleted, we find it. Cheers to you, to me.. to all of us ❤

The Happening You Must Focus On

 

 

     It is easy to mourn the lives we aren’t living. Easy to wish we’d developed other talents, said yes to different offers. Easy to wish we’d worked harder, loved better, handled our finances more astutely, been more popular, stayed in the band, gone to Australia, said yes to the coffee or done more bloody yoga.
     It takes no effort to miss the friends we didn’t make and the work we didn’t do and the people we didn’t marry and the children we didn’t have. It is not difficult to see yourself through the lens of other people, and to wish you were all the different kaleidoscopic versions of you they wanted you to be. It is easy to regret, and keep regretting, ad infinitum, until our time runs out.
     But it is not the lives we regret not living that are the real problem. It is the regret itself. It’s the regret that makes us shrivel and wither and feel like our own and other people’s worst enemy.
     We can’t tell if any of those other versions would have been better or worse.      Those lives are happening, it is true, but you are happening as well, and that is the happening we have to focus on. ~Matt Haig
(Book: The Midnight Library) 
    I love that passage so much!  I also read the book, and while it wasn’t one of my favorite reads, it’s a good one… and that group of text above? Spot on.  Who among us hasn’t dreamed another dream, had a few regrets, wasted too much time on what isn’t.  And we all know, life is short and too precious for such nonsense.  I am a firm believer in making the best of every day, even when I catch myself doing anything but.  Then I readjust the sails.
     The new barn has been a Godsend here on the farm. Both of our girlies are very pregnant and I’ve taken over all barn chores again, which means a lot of water buckets and hay bales and stall mucking etc. etc.   With the yoga and stretching/meditation I’ve taken up, my body is faring better than I had expected. 40 plus years of all that work  has left me with some arthritis and worn parts, blah blah. But it’s also made me a strong work horse and I’m grateful to  still be able to do it. And I love those animals so.  They are my heart and my peace and my salvation often.  We got our first real snow of the winter on march 1st.  In New England, that’s just strange. But it’s made all that work easier on this older girl.
      I have always felt the sky is like  a painting we live under, it’s landscape always changing, and all we ever need to do is look up to see the mood of the moment, the beauty of nature, the temperament of the weather gods.  Who hasn’t marveled at a full moon rising, the night stars on a cloudless night, the rolling roiling storm clouds coming across the horizon or the gorgeous colors of a beautiful sunrise-sunset.  On the hill and fields of this farm we have what I call big sky country, a big patch of blue  with  many glorious sunrises and sunsets.
  I made a few more recipes from The Lost Kitchen files…
New England baked beans and brown bread –  first time I ever bought a slab of salt pork, had to ask the butcher where to find it at the store.
 And Waldorf Salad – with apples, celery, Fennel, arugula, lemon juice and zest,  candied walnuts, mayo, salt & pepper… SOOO GOOD!
     The Mr. turned 59!  We had a lovely family dinner at one of our favorite restaurants near our Stella by the Sea.  Our mothers are still with us and we are so grateful they are here to meet their first great grands.
 Cheers to many more years!
 I completed the Woodstock, VT  Middle bridge painting, whose true angles are a bit skewed in any photo taken, so this was a real challenge and it’s far from perfection, but I’m glad I attempted it.  The bridge for me  represents many happy family memories there  and hopefully more to come.  The lighted star up on the hill is the first thing I look for when we drive into town.
   Had a physical this week, and it’s clear I need to get serious about cleaning up my diet.  Cholesterol numbers less than stellar, weight – about 25 pounds overweight.  Bleh.  I get plenty of exercise, so… as the doctor has often said… it’s what you put in your mouth.   Each new day is a chance to get it right.. right? I’m making a concerted effort to improve those numbers.  Being a food loving person and one who likes to cook and bake for others, it ain’t easy.
      I hope all is well in your neck of the woods – till soon 🌹

Mild Winter Days and the Lost Kitchen

 

Hello from Leo and I… Leo is my son’s “first son”….  in this photo he’s doing his typical thing when I go visit him at lunchtime on occasion – I have to coax him out to pee and have a snack, and then he takes up his vigil in the big chair once again looking out over the driveway because *WheresMyDAD*.   The rest of us are just furniture.

Their cat, Lily… well she could be described as a honey badger… if you know, you know.

Yesterday was T-shirt weather here in New England. Crazy for February!  However, with my girlchild very  pregnant with her first child and my taking back over most of the barn responsibilities .. I am so very grateful for the reprieve.  It makes barn chores so much easier.  So many of the mornings have been glorious!

Bella and Star approve of the fine weather.. and they love their new living quarters in the new barn and barnyard.  They’ve got more room to roam and run up and down the front hill, leaping with joy. I love to see it.

Our old man, Max-a-million is doing very well, we’ve been able to manage the glaucoma in his left eye with meds.  After a long show career and service to many people, this is the retirement every horse should get but seldom do.  I am grateful to be able to grant it to him.

Our recently adopted blind mini, Molly is my most favorite horse… she is just amazing with her navigation skills.  Our other mini Lacey tolerates her, and that’s about it.  At least she doesn’t abuse her, which was the case in her previous home.

Beautiful Leah graces us each day with her company.  A very good minded horse, she will always have a home with us, as she is wonderful to ride, will be great for the grandchildren to learn to ride on  someday and while she was bred to show and it’s true she’s a bit fancy for a “home horse”,  we know she much prefers this life to the grueling show life.

Have you been watching The Lost Kitchen (HBO MAX) … with reknown chef Erin French?  I love that show… what a resilient person. Her food is phenomenal and creative, her story remarkable.  I treated myself to her cookbook and her memoir – Finding Freedom.. and The Lost Kitchen cookbook.   SO far I’ve made her fried chicken with perfect potato salad and blueberry sweet and sour sauce,   and her pear cake.  Both are out of this world delicious and not hard to make.   If you’re a foody or just like a great true story of redemption and triumph,  I highly recommend these two books, and I’m not being paid to say it.  Even the photography is gorgeous. You might come to love Maine and its salt of the earth people, too. I already do.

Have you ever cooked with a cast iron pan?  Man, what I have been missing! I was intimidated by the “seasoning” of the thing and the first one I bought many years ago rusted because I washed it like any regular pan.  This time I’m doing it right and you really can’t beat the results.

     I hope all is well in your neck of the woods – Wishing you love and light this Valentines Day – Not everyone has a Romeo in their lives, if you do.. you are very lucky indeed.  There are so many ways to celebrate love.. and most especially for yourself!  Treat yourself in the ways you find comfort, indulge in the good chocolate, make  (or buy!) that chocolate cake.  Buy the fancy dreamy creamy soaps, splurge to frame that painting.  Buy the flowers,  and know this from the bottom of your blessed heart…

you are loved and loavable❤

 

Till soon, friends –

 

 

a Quilt of a post

Well let’s start with an actual quilt! Through blogland I have met some wonderful people, some of whom I consider dear friends.  I have been collecting my son’s old t-shirts from childhood with the intent of having a T-shirt quilt made for him. Finding someone to do it proved difficult.. and then it dawned on me I have a very talented friend who does all sorts of creative things including sewing but mostly weaving beautiful towels, rugs, shawls, etc. for many years.  So I asked Hilary over at Crazy As A Loom if she’d be willing to give this project a go, and boy did she ever! It came out better than I expected, my son loves it too. She said it’s her first T-shirt quilt, and her last, LOL.  As I suspected, it’s a mighty pain in the a&& to make, but I am so grateful she was willing.  My son and daughter in law are  expecting their first child in May and one day this will be an heirloom for generations to come. It’s so warm and cozy.

Not sure if it’s the strange weather, a too warm and then frigid cold  winter we’ve had here in New England… this fibromyalgia body has been in flare.  When that happens I’m tempted to get lazy and slow down but with all the barn chores that’s not really possible and I do find if I keep moving I’m better off.  I walk often and hike occasionally – this weekend we went over to the Scout Camp at Deer Lake and hiked to Fat Man Squeeze.  I’m glad I still fit!   When I adopted Kai he was a timid soul, so much so that on these hikes he would be afraid to go over big logs, afraid to climb rock  and ledge, afraid to go into caves or up the very narrow squeeze.  With the trust we’ve built over the past two years, while he’s still timid, he has come a long way and easily goes where I go without freezing, without me having to carry him up and over as we did initially.  It’s a beautiful thing.  Truly he is the best walking/hiking companion I’ve ever had.

I’m not a bendy person, so certain forms of Yoga make me look like the walking dead…..but yoga is really good for this fibromyalgia body and years ago I found a DVD set and used it for a long time and it really helped. It was great for beginner or low level yoga people like me. We got a new Tv  system and no longer had DVD player and I just stopped, which was dumb. I’m thrilled to say I just found the exact series on Amazon prime $15 purchase and I can do it right in my office while it streams on my screen or on my flat screen tv in the family room via prime video. If this sounds like you to some degree- I highly recommend the Kate Potter series, seasons 1 and 2 in particular. It’s Calming, fun, enough of a work out that you accomplished something, and helps you stay limber, strengthens your core and overall body.

I’ve also carved a little time out for painting… the bridge picture is coming along… still much to do but I’m happy with it’s progress…

The following made me laugh out loud, and anything that does that is worthy of sharing…

Reading a good book right now, that gives a different perspective on the fallout and a different kind of  victim of the Holocaust.. another dimension, another layer I had never given thought to before, and I have mixed feelings about it as well.   I recommend it if you’re a reader – very well written

  I hope all is well in your neck of the woods…  Thank you for stopping by

Till soon!

I’m just trying to get home

It is almost unfathomable that all five men, officers, who beat Tyre Nichols to death participated in such a disgusting, hideous, inhumane act. All five of them .. on one unarmed man. Spraying, tasing, Kicking him in the head! Repeatedly. So far, it appears there was no justification for the traffic stop. Is there really any wonder he ran for his life? His last words were Momma… momma, momma… who’s house was 100 yards away. Every mother was called right then.
When I heard about this I admittedly assumed these officers would be white… because we have heard that narrative before, haven’t we. Shockingly, they were all black. Which makes this even more heartbreaking if that’s even possible .
So many things wrong here. Why such murderous violence, of course… why is skin color ever a part of the equation and yet it’s one of the first assumptions we make when we hear a story like this, am I right? Many layers too- violence and crime numbers are up, we idolize and elect politicians who promote violence, we sell video games that promote violence, we can’t even pass sensible gun laws in this country ( for the 1,oooth time, no one is looking to take away the guns of law abiding citizens). How many mass shootings in the US in the past week alone? We don’t address poverty or mental illness effectively.
Another layer- the distrust and distain these hideous events cause for all the law enforcement out there who put their own lives in jeopardy every day and with the best of intentions and sometimes put in the worst of situations to protect us all. Having two members of our family serving or served as police officers, the danger they and their families live with, the crap they have to put up with and many do with integrity and good will and tremendous courage and grit , it’s also amazing anyone is still willing to put themselves in that position.
And how it’s lost on anyone that violence and damage and looting to protest violence is just one wrong after another and feeds the flame and the stigma .. is beyond me. It’s no solution, it’s simply an excuse for more of the same. But when you feel you are repeatedly unheard, what are your options? More layers.
I hesitated to post about this because what does my two cents really matter, but Jesus, just ignoring something so awful feels really wrong.

The State of Things…

 

I don’t even watch the news anymore, rarely skim the headlines, truly shy away from anyone posting political crap on social media, and I used to be one who chirped.. a lot!  I just cannot believe the utter shit show across the entire political system, our governing bodies.    I decided my sanity and well being is more important than absorbing all the toxic noise, misinformation, ignorance.  And we all know in our deepest well of knowledge that we don’t change the heart or mind of another person who will believe what they want to believe, no matter the detriment to themselves or others.  So I stopped trying to do that, too.  And I must admit, I’m not so sure those I trusted are trustworthy enough.

It’s freeing!  I’m spending more time improving the quality of the work I put into my day job, this farm, the critters in my care, my family, myself. I picked up the paint brush again and completed a piece for a friend, and I have a new one on the easel.  It all feels like the right thing to do.

The completed piece –  this tells the beginning story of an immigrant who was born in this house ( no hospitals anywhere near) and raised here until his family moved (legally!) to this country for a better way of life.  They have worked very hard for a long time with two successful businesses now  and just built a beautiful barn and home  here in town.  He wanted this painting made as a reminder of their journey.

New on the easel… when completed it will be a snowy scene of a Vermont covered bridge in a  town we visit often, many good memories and hopefully more to be made.

The weather has been good and bad and iffy and good and bad again. In between raindrops or frigid temps I’ve been walking with Kai again, and recently my son and I have gone on a few short hikes. It feels good to keep going.. and we’ll get more hikes in when weather permits.

This is Deer Lake Reservation, which has just been sold by the Boy Scouts of America after a lengthy campaign by locals and state representatives to save it from development, to Pathfinders, which will keep it as a camp and public recreation area and wildlife refuge.  There are extensive trails, too.. this is a BIG WIN for nature, for campers and the general public who appreciate and recognize the value of open space.  There are many cabins the scouts and other campers used, and they will be kept up by the new owner and used in summer camp programs.

This quartz wedged in a large boulder looks like teeth!

We’ve also been down to the shore for some winter walks…

This next scene is going to be my next painting, on a bigger canvas for the living room if it comes out decent.  I am so grateful for this New England lanscape, diverse and beautiful in all seasons.

Our girls are in the second trimester of their pregnancies now, we are all so exciting for  Jonathan and Mia to arrive.  The eternal worrier in me keeps praying all will go well for both moms to be and their babies, and the dads as well!   Baby showers being planned, I’ve already got a shelf full of childrens books I’ve been collecting for many years ( I’m a big fan).  The baby clothes nowadays are so much more fun than when we were young mothers!  and the baby equipment too.

I hope all is well in your neck of the woods or piece of the plains,  spit of sand on the shore or your stamp on suburbia…  what have you been doing to stay sane in these troubling times?… creativity, better health, new horizons, perhaps travel again?    Covid is running rampant again around these parts, my son and daughter-in-law just got over it.  People are masking up again….just.. ugh.

closing this post with a few pieces I’ve found inspiring or profound…

 

Till soon-