This Old House 2 – Page 61 – Middle aged musings from farm & hearth

A beginning and an end

I would have liked this post to announce the joys of Spring, renewal, the feeling of Resurrection I associate with Easter and its traditions. Indeed I have begun the cooking and other preparations for this evenings extended family feast here at This Old House. Dyed eggs are in their basket and the sweet bread is on the table with fruit, along with my kiddos Easter baskets full of chocolate and peeps and t-shirts, etc.

Sadly, we received news last night of the passing of a troubled man who had worked for us on and off for many years. He was a good soul, troubled by substance abuse demons he couldn’t seem to kick to the curb. Tim always reminded me of a big kid who hadn’t quite grown up… still loved a good laugh or practical joke, time spent with friends, a fishing pole, a frisbee, tie-dyed t-shirts and the Grateful Dead. He loved his music! He also loved to dull his anxieties with -the stuff- and in the end it did him in. At 45, too young.

Drug and alcohol addiction is a horrible disease. If you think all of those who become ensnared in it’s death grip are loser lowlife no-conscience abusers, you are wrong. It can happen to anyone, some of us are more vulnerable than others. My last encounter with Tim was at the grocery store parking lot… when he saw me coming toward him he jokingly ducked behind his car and then came around and we hugged big. I told him he looked good and I hoped all was going well for him. I meant it.

Be kind the next time you encounter someone you may know is struggling, doesn’t matter that you don’t approve of their situation. You have no idea what they are living with and you never know if it’s the last time you’ll see them. Don’t be afraid or too busy to reach out, either. Sometimes, that is the one thing that saves them. We all wish we had one more chance to reach out to Tim. Just one more.

Today I will cook for my family, enjoy the laughter and the shared stories, the jokes round the table and even the political banter, because we are lucky to be here together. To have this food to share, these stories to tell..and to do it without the demons sitting on our shoulder.

Rest in Peace, Tim. We will miss you.

Out of the mouths….

Him– She just grabbed the keys, see that? No leash either. She’s not taking us, I can tell.

Her- that’s ok, wait till we hear the car start, then I’ll show you where the half empty bag of BBQ chips is. I think you can reach it. Then we’ll pee in her shoes.

Perspective

Saw this posted on facebook – had to share. Couldn’t agree more.

An apparently spontaneous attack on a 93 year old woman by a recently adopted ( alleged) Put bull type dog with no record of aggression in a local town and then… another breed close to my heart biting the face of a family member resulting in 200 stitches has me thinking and pondering motive. I’m often asked why, because people want to understand what causes a sudden attack. I don’t have all the answers. Whenever I’m not sure I look to human behaviour ( sorry I just have to spell it the British way) for clues and ultimately answers.

My conclusion is that sometimes we will never know. And here is why:
Newtown school CT, Fort Hood Army base Texas, Columbine high school CO, Franklin high school Pittsburgh PA, Aurora movie theatre. To name just a few.
Sadly the list of humans who apparently snap and go on killing sprees is endless. And there are those with absolute motive such as the most recent killing of three people at a Jewish community centre in Kansas by a KKK member.

The point is that whilst attacks on people by dogs or any other animals are terrible, they are still very low compared to the number of dogs and humans on the planet and must be kept in perspective. Humans attack one another daily, often without motive, leaving us vulnerable and questioning society, but we don’t ban humans because that’s just not reality. We look to understand the early warning signs so that future tragedies may be avoided. An example was the young man who killed so many children in our home state of Connecticut. He did not fit the typical mould of a mass killer.
We understand so little about one another yet we insist other species share our lives, demanding virtual perfection and wonder why things go wrong when we expect so much compliance from them and they fall short of our expectations.

Maybe we should lighten up a little on those other species when we the superior species just cannot get it right; at least not all of the time. We must hold ourselves more accountable before judging lesser species. A little perspective never hurt anyone.

– Amen.

Dear Anonymous

your question: “Why is it that it is the pit bulls that are always in court or in the News? Why is it most people get attract by pit-bulls?”

My answer to you is simple – My 7 lb. dachshund did not make the news when he attacked the UPS driver because he weighs seven lbs. and did not inflict much damage. My friends who bred cocker spaniels and had several bite incidents with their dogs did not make the news even though stitches were involved because the injuries were not horrendous or sensationalized and they settled with the bite victims away from the law and out of court. I did not press charges against a boarder at my barn when she brought her cattle dog to visit and the dog, without provocation, reached out and bit my hand, leaving holes and drawing blood. If his owner wasn’t right there with him, he might have been able to do more harm before I could successfully subdue him. No cops were called or charges made, because I recognize that a dog is an animal and not thoroughly aware of his boundaries. It’s up to the humans in the situation to prevent those things from happening.

I’ll say it again… pit bulls are an athletic animal with a powerful jaw and they are absolutely capable of severe harm. I’m not disputing that. This is true of any large breed dog. Do you notice pit bulls were not an issue, say, 25 years ago? If you are near my age, you probably weren’t even aware of them. As a matter of fact, they USED to be termed Nanny dogs, all bully breeds, because they were good with children and were prized by families as the family dog. In more recent times, the bully breeds have been used and abused because of their strength by a certain group of people who like to fight them. They want them mean, it’s a status simple to have them wearing heavy, heavy chains around their neck and they routinely torture them to make them mean.

Is is fair to give all pit bulls and bully breeds a bad rap because there are a few who snap? Kind of like people, wouldn’t you say? I say… the better idea is to respect that these dogs are capable of harm, ALL DOGS… and as the owner, you must be responsible in their care, their handling, their environment, who you trust to leave alone with them. Common sense, period. Each dog is an individual, not unlike people. Are there some who are just plain viscous? Absolutely…in every breed.

Visit any prison and you’ll see so many wounded, wounded souls who are in that environment and have made poor decisions because they were horribly abused as a young child and young adult. The “system” did not have answers for them, were not there to protect them or give them other options. They will lash out in anger, because the world hasn’t shown them kindness. If you don’t think dogs have the same responses, then you’ve never known a relationship with a dog. Do we condemn them all? Or do we try to eliminate the abuse and prosecute the abusers and hold owners responsible if they are going to choose to own a dog?

One more thing… because pit bulls have now got this bad reputation, even when the dog IS NOT A PIT BULL, it is labeled so in the news right off the bat, because that’s what brings attention to the article. Therefore, money to the media. You don’t see retractions later when they got their info wrong.

If I have not answered your question to your satisfaction, I’m going to venture to guess we’re just not going to agree.

About those pits

*sigh*

Another story in yesterdays news… a 93 year old woman was bitten by a pit-mix, says the media, while out walking in her neighborhood. Ofcourse what follows is an ugly comment war between pit bull haters and pit bull supporters, and I’m sure you guessed it ……. you-know-who just can’t help but interject.

Here’s my stance. I think pit bulls have gotten a really bad reputation, unjustly so. Are they capable of inflicting BIG harm to a person? You betcha. Anything with teeth is capable. Any breed of DOG is capable of attack and biting. My seven lb. dachsund bit a UPS Driver with the ferocity and intention to lay that sucker down! What has to happen is, anyone who owns a dog needs to be responsible for their proper treatment, care, socialization. If you’ve got a big dog, you need to have it under your control at all times and if you’re not ready for that responsibility, then it’s not for you.

Here’s a truth – Pits have a powerful jaw and they can do serious damage, even causing death in some circumstances. Another truth – There has been mauling and death with other breeds as well, it is not just a pit bull thing. At the hands of certain ill-intending groups of people, The PIT bull, however, has been exploited and bred and trained to fight and kill, earning it the most feared and ugly reputation in the dog world. Those particular dogs have issues, as would any abused soul, and need rehabilitation if they are rescued. Some are beyond help after being so horribly abused, tortured, maimed. That’s a sad fact too.

Years ago, when I was young, it was the rottweiler, not the pit, who had the bad rap. I’ve raised two of those with my children, never was there a moment that I couldn’t trust them with my kids or even strangers, but I was denied homeowners insurance because we had a rotti in the house.

Another truth – because I am in dog rescue, I see many pits around here. I have yet to come across one that is aggressive. Strong, energy packed ? Thick headed with training sometimes? Absolutely, and any adopter thinking of becoming a pit owner should know they have an athlete on their hands. But they are also incredible family members and children and grandchildren are raised with them. Pitbull ownership isn’t for everyone…. I’d tell you the same about my Dane, Ben. At 190 lbs., he weighs more than me and is stronger. I keep that in mind whenever I take him in public and I do not let strangers approach, just because it’s smart to do so. Common sense. There it is.

The hysteria and hyperventilating and name calling and accusations that fly in the comments of that story today are awful. It’s not just the cries to euthanize all pits because they are dangerous, or the nasty name calling and sarcasm and opinions not based on fact.. it’s the way we talk to each other when we don’t agree. How can there possibly be a solution if we can’t be civil in discussing a problem or crisis or issue or claim? And Lord, when will prejudice not be a word in our vocabulary?

*sigh* Just…. sayin.

Glorious

Oh, what a beautiful morning.. .oh what a beautiful day….

Seriously, we’ve had some incredible weather this weekend, and we took full advantage by cleaning up and planting and mucking and brushing horses and walking and talking, etc…

My son picked his favorite chick and has been spending quality time with her….

Driving down Route 1 Saturday night, we spotted this Cupola type vent at the thrift store and Mike is probably going back today to make an offer. This is the same place that I found my Mobo Bronco metal horse, and the man who runs the place isn’t big on -making a deal-.

The side porch has been scrubbed with bleach and Ben is happily sunning himself once again. Danes don’t have much of a coat, so the winter months are hard on a big boy like this… he’s had to be indoors most of the time this winter with brief runs out to the yard to do his business.

I had forgotten all the bulbs we planted last fall around the fenceline in the backyard. They’re coming up in full force, atleast sixty or so tulips, should be a pretty show in a few weeks time.

I got the pansies I bought at Balleks last week in the ground and bought this blue ceramic birdbath for $35 at Ocean State Job lot. It’s huge, a great deal for such a big piece of pottery. I’ve also cleaned up my “seaside real estate garden” and had to dig out some large clumps of grass that were threatening to take it over.

Once the perennials fill in, this area will look much more abundant with blooms

and greenery.

The zinnia seeds have sprouted, veggies still under the dirt.

Last summers geraniums have been brought out to the greenhouse after wintering on a sunny window sill inside….

…and dear Opie was a bit incredulous yesterday as he realized he was going BACK TO WORK! I’m not much of a winter rider with the ground frozen hard and my tolerance for cold weather at ZERO once I’ve spent an hour mucking and breaking up ice buckets . Indeed, I am a fair weather rider, and so Opie gets months of off-duty living. Today he gets front shoes back on and we are set to go! All of the horses are shedding their winter coats. Quite often I return from the barn wearing what they shed off.

We’ve got some busy weeks ahead… an eighteen birthday, Senior Prom, first horse show of the season for K and Max, Easter Dinner here at this old house with the extended family –

It’s all good – and.. it’s a new day, people. Make it a good one.

24 hours in…

… and Hermoine, Luna, Bellatrix, Lily, Minerva, Ginny and Arabella are holding their own. All have perked up today, are drinking, eating, stretching their legs, chirping, pecking at each other, flapping their tiny little wings… so far, so good.

Chick Day !!

You know it’s officially and really truly SPRING

when chick day arrives.

Turkcy chicks!

Auracana chicks…

This morning I picked up seven new chicks at Lakeside Feed

to be raised and introduced to the girls out in the hen house

once they’re old enough.

I have yet to convince Frasier that these are not chicken nuggets!

The poor chicks were born two days ago, delivered to the feed store yesterday,

and took another trip home today with me…

quite a lot of stress for a new baby bird.

I settled them in immediately with heat lamp, food, water and clean shavings.

They promptly fell asleep, some while standing…

Joining my crew are two cuckoo marans (good brown egg layers)

two auracanas (blue egg layers)

two comets (good brown egg layers)

and one Rhode Island Red (also a good light brown egg layer)

A sad fact is, not all chicks survive this stressful journey.

My first time around, one of the eight chicks I started with lasted only a few days.

These guys look so exhausted right now, but I’m hoping all will rally.

Do I even admit this?

… but first I’ll show you the haircut we discussed yesterday (thank you SO much, Stephen, your tips are wonderful and right on, and you are so generous to give us all so much information).

I love my stylist, she is a beautiful, spirited, kindhearted young thing, not to mention talented with hair and color. We discussed some important stuff about hair and a certain celebrity’s hair style, a photo I had in my possession and my reluctance to chop too much of it off even though as we age, most of us can’t really wear the long hair we lust after and pull it off gracefully.

This is what she came up with, and I walked out of there one happy girl. I have naturally shiney hair, but it’s lost a little luster as I’ve aged. A glaze gives hair a beautiful sheen and enhances and deepens your natural color, and that’s what we’ve done here. This was a real simple blowout, too, just took a few minutes with a big round brush, no flat iron necessary. An easy cut that I can maintain. For a girl like me who has little patience for standing in a bathroom primping, that’s really important.

The before shot below shows you the difference in keeping a good cut and its layers

trimmed.. the face framing gives you a face lift!

So I’m going to keep this new layered look neat, a trim every few months

because seriously, that’s an easy face lift, no?

You’re probably wondering what my guy thinks of it, because after all he is the one who told me it looked ratty and needed something. Well… here-in lies the rub. Just before I went to the salon, I visited with a friend’s dog to give it a potty break while it’s family is at work and school. While there, I left my car keys on the bumper of the Jeep. I have no idea why. Just hush.

After the dog walk, I hopped back in the Jeep and headed down the road a few miles, to where said husband was working on a job site. We chatted, he had to go to a meeting, I had a hair appointment.

I start the Jeep…. no I don’t.

What the….????? No keys.

Then I remember… OMG THE BUMPER!!… You see.. those STUPID %&$@# auto start key fobs… will still start your car even if your keys are outside the vehicle on the back bumper!!!!… hence, I got to my next destination. My keys, the ones on the bumper? Did not.

The husband had to go searching for my keys along the route I took while I got my haircut, then he went and got my OTHER set of keys and brought them back to me at the Jeep location. For the past few hours I have been searching for said keys, and I’m sure you can guess that outcome.

As for my haircut? He could give a flying F at this point, the cold truth be told. I just called Jeep dealer and this haircut will cost me about $750. when all is said and done.

Ummm… but I love it?…..

*sigh*

HAIR

We love it, we hate it. We want it where we don’t have enough of it and we want to get rid of it where we have too much of it. Doesn’t seem fair, does it.

I have had long hair, I’ve had sorta short-ish hair. My husband loves REAL short hair on women.. go figure. I don’t know if I’ll choose really short hair unless I’m lucky to get really old. – not that there’s anything wrong with really short hair.

I only go to the hairdresser a few times a year, if that. Lazy about the trims, don’t like sitting in a salon chair for any length of time, although I have a terrific stylist who is fun and spunky and makes the time go by fast.

So, what to do. Two nights ago at the dinner table…

Him: Um… are you going to the hair salon this week? (he never pays attention to these things)

Me: Why, yes I am. I have an appointment on Wednesday.

Him: Good, your hair is looking ratty.

Now, right there I wanted to maybe slap him, or perhaps just an arm pinch and a really mean stare.

But right behind him came the rising son’s remark….

Him 2: Yeah, mom, definitely… get a haircut.

So off I go tomorrow and I don’t know what to do. Help me out here. First, I am getting a glaze, which is not quite a Dye Job, but sort of a rich color wash to deepen and fortify the color. I think.

Shorter days…