Are you as hopeful today as I am?

Mr. President, Dr. Biden, Madam Vice President, Mr. Emhoff, Americans and the world, when day comes we ask ourselves where can we find light in this never-ending shade? The loss we carry asea we must wade. We’ve braved the belly of the beast. We’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace. In the norms and notions of what just is isn’t always justice. And yet, the dawn is ours before we knew it. Somehow we do it. Somehow we’ve weathered and witnessed a nation that isn’t broken, but simply unfinished. We, the successors of a country and a time where a skinny black girl descended from slaves and raised by a single mother can dream of becoming president only to find herself reciting for one.

And yes, we are far from polished, far from pristine, but that doesn’t mean we are striving to form a union that is perfect. We are striving to forge our union with purpose. To compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters, and conditions of man. And so we lift our gazes not to what stands between us, but what stands before us. We close the divide because we know to put our future first, we must first put our differences aside. We lay down our arms so we can reach out our arms to one another. We seek harm to none and harmony for all. Let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true. That even as we grieved, we grew. That even as we hurt, we hoped. That even as we tired, we tried that will forever be tied together victorious. Not because we will never again know defeat, but because we will never again sow division.

Scripture tells us to envision that everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree and no one shall make them afraid. If we’re to live up to her own time, then victory won’t lie in the blade, but in all the bridges we’ve made. That is the promise to glade, the hill we climb if only we dare. It’s because being American is more than a pride we inherit. It’s the past we step into and how we repair it. We’ve seen a forest that would shatter our nation rather than share it. Would destroy our country if it meant delaying democracy. This effort very nearly succeeded.

But while democracy can be periodically delayed, it can never be permanently defeated. In this truth, in this faith we trust for while we have our eyes on the future, history has its eyes on us. This is the era of just redemption. We feared it at its inception. We did not feel prepared to be the heirs of such a terrifying hour, but within it, we found the power to author a new chapter, to offer hope and laughter to ourselves so while once we asked, how could we possibly prevail over catastrophe? Now we assert, how could catastrophe possibly prevail over us?

We will not march back to what was, but move to what shall be a country that is bruised, but whole, benevolent, but bold, fierce, and free. We will not be turned around or interrupted by intimidation because we know our inaction and inertia will be the inheritance of the next generation. Our blunders become their burdens. But one thing is certain, if we merge mercy with might and might with right, then love becomes our legacy and change our children’s birthright.

So let us leave behind a country better than one we were left with. Every breath from my bronze-pounded chest we will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one. We will rise from the gold-limbed hills of the West. We will rise from the wind-swept Northeast where our forefathers first realized revolution. We will rise from the Lake Rim cities of the Midwestern states. We will rise from the sun-baked South. We will rebuild, reconcile and recover in every known nook of our nation, in every corner called our country our people diverse and beautiful will emerge battered and beautiful. When day comes, we step out of the shade aflame and unafraid. The new dawn blooms as we free it. For there is always light. If only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.

 

Amanda Gorman – Inaugural Poet

Therapy

 

Holy Government Shit Storms, Batman.   I just don’t have appropriate words.  Or rather I’m too disgusted by it all to speak without many, many expletives right now and we just don’t need any more of that, do we.

GOAT THERAPY!   I know I’m repeating a post theme here.. but I just love my goatgirlz…. Star and Bella provide daily entertainment and just plain love in the ways goats show it.  They call to us constantly if we’re out in on the property in range of their view,… so much so that Star actually gets laryngitis on occasion….  and when we enter their pen they’re on us like white on rice.

ART THERAPY!  I’ve been painting more too…. and managed to auction off one of my St. John paintings to benefit the animal rescue I have befriended on St. John – for $650.!  I’m no professional, so that’s a big chunk for one of my little paintings, I was thrilled.  St. John lovers from from all over the country were bidding and can you believe the winning bid, which I determined within hours of starting the process… lives about 10 miles from me?  Just over the river.   What are the odds?

This one just finished… the Nathan Hale House with an early evening sky….

Some funnies for you before closing….  and if you can’t relate on some level, you’re truly special 🙂

I’m not a  ritual-practicing religious person, but I find myself praying for our country’s soul lately.  Please… powers that be.. above all, Good over Evil.

 

Till soon, Friends…. thank you for stopping by – 

 

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas….

…. and for most of us that’s exactly what it will be, a “little” Christmas compared to what we’re used to.  Strange times indeed.  This past month I have taken a step back from newsfeeds and my appalled reactions to so much of it.   I am grateful for this family’s health including our mothers and for the promise of better days ahead.  I hope you are weathering the multitude of storms and are feeling some optimism for the future.

I put Christmas up here in this house before Thanksgiving was done – we needed the cheer so I pulled out all the stops – even the SnowVillage that’s been in big bins in the basement for years came back out.  It’s true we won’t have the bigger family gathering we usually do, but that’s OK – it helps to know we are placing some insurance on having everyone round the table again next year by being cautious this year.  This will be the first Christmas without Dad. (Fuck Covid)  Last year he brought with him a mini drone that he loved – we pushed it around between us and had a good laugh…. I can tell you for certain it will not matter, whatever the issues in a push and tug relationship, once they’re gone, you’ll be reminded of the good, the bad, and you’ll miss them.  Also, no matter what you thought you were doing right while they were around, you’ll find regrets.

 

From the looks of these gingerbread men you’d think we’d been drinkin –

 

Sally’s favorite seat in the mancave…

We’ve had some beautiful snow, although it makes barn chores a little more difficult. My goatgirls Bella and Star are not impressed with the white stuff, but have adjusted .. eventually.

SO much joy I get from these two… they talk to us all the time, huddle around our legs, I’m grateful I can hear some of their little goat girl mumbles… mehhh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh.

More snow pics here on the farm….

My daughter’s home next door can be seen in the photo below…

My son’s home is deep in the mist of the picture below.   Happy News to share with you on that front in the next post…

Some laughs to share with you next…. and wishing you all a very Merry Christmas, a joyful, peaceful holiday season in whatever the ways you celebrate, and good health and much happiness in the New Year – XO

Sharing this beautiful song , one of my all time favorites… click on the link and click skip the ads… enjoy ❤

https://youtu.be/ChcR2gKt5WM

 

Till soon, friends…

Amen, America. Amen.

How refreshing it is to hear an intelligent rational all inclusive uplifting inspiring speech intended for All Americans and the World tonight . Amen and God Bless Us All- 💙🇺🇸❤️

A poem written by an unknown author (to me anyway)

I learned how to flinch.
Oh god.
Every lie. Flinch.
Every casual cruelty. Flinch.
Every appeal to hate, to division. Flinch.
Every grasp at more power. Flinch.
Tear down health
tear down decency
tear down protections to the earth
when our clock is ticking and the world burns.
Tear down science.
Tear us apart.
Flinch flinch flinch.
Drag us backwards with each all caps Tweet
with each temper tantrum
each demand for mindless loyalty.
Follow him
take off the mask
die for him.
Flinch.
I have been pulling inward for years
holding my breath
desperately numbing my emotions
afraid disgusted ashamed under siege
helpless
flinch
flinch
Vote
Vote
oh please my country vote
and I kept vigil each long election week night
watching results come in
refresh
refresh
refresh
bleary eyed
7 tabs open
afraid
watching the numbers
hold out hold out just a bit more
stretched taut
maybe maybe
please
take a sleeping pill and wake and back to the vigil
again
again
And Wisconsin is blue
and Michigan is blue
and I begin to hope
but I have learned to flinch.
And Georgia is blue
and I begin to believe.
Wait. Wait. Refresh.
And in a pre dawn vigil
Pennsylvania flips blue.
And I know.
And 4 years of compressed pain
comes roaring up
in a torrent of
ugly cry
shaking
sobbing
wailing relief tears
And I don’t flinch from them.

All Votes Matter

Republican candidates for Congress generally outperformed their polls, they had a good election season. WHAT THAT MEANS… is Republicans showed up to vote, their votes were counted, … and enough of them chose not to vote for Trump. Also, Trump has been saying all along he wanted his supporters to show up at the polls even though his own votes are always mail in, as are the military not currently home to vote. So, naturally- the initial tallies would reflect a Trump lead. The dems have been telling their folks to get their votes in early – no surprise there are so many mail -ins….and due to COVID concerns, many people chose that option, dems and reps alike. It’s not rocket science, it’s not illegal and so far, despite even republican leaders asking the President and his campaign to show any proof at all that there is election fraud – ZERO. ZIP. CRICKETS. I’m seeing all kinds of crazy conspiracy crap and you know who’s whining the most? Those FUCK YOUR FEELINGS flag wavers. The most heartbreaking thing about this election for me is to see how nasty it has become, that neighbors and friends feel comfortable waving that particular flag on their houses, their boats, their trucks, their places of business.
Both parties have a lot of work to do. What we need is a government who can work together on the myriad of issues we have before us. What we need is for health care to be affordable, taxes to be fair and not outrageous as they are now for many, wages to be fair to the employer and the employee, equality for all in all aspects of life, we need to support our police, law and order and that does not exclude fair application of it. We need honesty and integrity from our elected officials, a rejuvenation of our infrastructure, a healthy respect for our environment and climate change, support for the business community and especially small businesses, and for all to realize that a pandemic should NEVER be a political talking point – we are all in this clusterfuck together and if we don’t start coming together no matter what they do in DC, we are all screwed. Every one of us. The Democratic and Republican parties have lost their way in some respects and we are all paying the price. Middle ground is the only way to come together and if you’re one of those chirping Civil War!… how you don’t see you will lose too is beyond the beyond.
We need a middle ground, and we need to stop attacking each other. We need a new breed of government who represents sound economic, health and environmental policy that benefits us all, not the elites who currently fund them. They aren’t in it for you, and the sooner we all figure that out, the better we will be for it. All of us, red, blue, white, black, yellow, brown, green.
I’ve had people mock me (of course behind my back but those things have a way of coming around) because I put my thoughts on the current state of things out here. I don’t see it as a waste of time…. I have always wanted what is best for this country, our people and our neighbors, the people in my life and outside of it… we all benefit from a better, kinder world. If my little space here containing my words sends out one little enlightening, encouraging ripple into a better world… it’s worth your criticism.
I pray that this election is proven to be a fair one, and if there is election fraud, let that be clear and resolved quickly, not fabricated.. and whomever wins ultimately, I pray that the first priority is to heal this divided nation – UNITY above all else. .. and that the majority of us wish for the same .
God Bless America 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Where we go from here….

What a night. While decision is not yet in, still… half of this country supported what should never be supportable.   I am so sad and embarrassed for our country at this point no matter what this particular election outcome ultimately turns out to be, that’s my simple truth. Here’s what I am taking away from it – There has always been the potential for good and evil in this world, and it all comes down to the very basic and flawed realities of the human makeup. What an absolutely beautiful world it could be for every living being on earth if not for those human flaws – ego, greed, prejudice, jealousy, cruelty, hate.
So where do we go from here? I choose not to wallow in anger, disbelief, disgust, add whatever negative you want here – Each of us continues to have the ability every day to make choices, to take steps in the decent, humane, kind, rational, truthful, intelligent direction with the general purpose of living our best lives and doing no harm to and even lifting others as we go. I’m choosing to spend this one precious life in the company of and alongside the actions of those who clearly do the same. I am so blessed grateful to know many of you – 💕👊
Onward –

One has to wonder what toxic crap has oozed out of the ozone layer…

Yesterday Trump embraced the actions of Trump Train supporters in Texas who surrounded a Joe Biden campaign bus in an attempt to slow down the bus and run it off the road. Police were called and had to arrive to break up the attempt so that the bus could get to it’s destination.
Trump tweeted a video of the caravan surrounding the Biden bus with the caption, “I LOVE TEXAS!” I couldn’t care less if he were a citizen, whatever, dude. But he is the President of The United States- the behavior is disgusting coming from the highest office in the land.
Yesterday in this small town, a group of older women stood near a previously antagonistic Trump supporter, both holding up signs for the candidates of their choice. The good news – the normally antagonistic was kind, even took pictures for one another, it was the kind of encounter we should all be capable of. Meanwhile, several times young men driving by waved “the finger” at the group of women as they drove by. The President probably loves those young men of Ktown too.
Trump embraces the divide in this country, in fact he encourages it. Not fake news – his words and action speak volumes on their own without help from the media. How anyone hasn’t yet learned from the lessons of history that divided we will ALL FALL is beyond my comprehension. This is no longer about politics, tribalism is front and center and some of you are embracing it whole heartedly. Sadly, what I’ve come to know is, those who continue to embrace and cheer on Trump’s asshole rhetoric can only do so because that type of behavior, those “values” are part of their makeup as well. With some it comes as no surprise to me because I’ve seen it via bullying or juvenile mocking or racism in your makeup long ago.
For others, I’m sad that tax breaks for the wealthy and a false narrative that police are going to be “defunded” and the bullshit line that Christianity is being attacked are enough for you to not do the research to know that’s simply not true. For some reason you believe a five time draft dodging, never religious science and climate denying three time married cheating lying bankrupt foreign dictator coddling racist narcissist idiot is your hero – all these things proven by his past narrative and actions, not fake news. It’s as if some toxic crap dropped out of the ozone layer and half of us were affected.
FUCK THAT. We need more than thoughts and prayers to turn this country around, we need a government that works in a unified fashion and ends the divide of We The People, and I just don’t see that coming to fruition with the current cast of characters and while so many of We The People continue to embrace the divide, the hate, the rhetoric, no matter which side of the divide it’s coming from. One thing is absolute – It should NEVER come from the President of the United States in the blatant way it is now.
Tuesday one way or the other will not heal that divide.. it’s ultimately up to We The People, because our governing officials all across the spectrum are failing us. I already know who will be offended by this post if they bother to read it through, and that knowledge both saddens me and releases me from ignoring what I think is no longer ignorable.
Onward –

Some inspiration when inspiration is hard to find

 

Did you watch last night’s debate?  The moderator did an excellent job staying on point  and didn’t allow any steamrolling. I think the threat of mic shutting down kept the two men in check.  That tactic should be used in every debate moving forward, don’t you think? If only we could install a buzzer for any lies.    We did get some answers, and as usual, Tr*mp peppered his responses with many falsities.  I don’t think Joe did enough to rebuke Trumps’ claim that in all his years in politics he got nothing done.  Bottom line is, I don’t think either of them performed in a way that will deter their supporters or gain new support.  It is what it is. 

As I have stated here many times before, this farm and the animals in our care keep me grounded and I am so very grateful for their presence in our lives.

…and Fall in New England is just so darned  beautiful…. There’s no question in my mind it is truly a blessing to live in this region where each season brings it’s own brand of natural beauty –

Swans on the Connecticut River

Chapman Falls at Devil’s Hopyard

 

The Hammonasset River

Dealing with more of a stay-at-home approach during the pandemic has given me the opportunity to focus more on painting – this is my newest piece to be gifted to my daughter – her house on a misty morning in the field next door.

 

Wishing you good health and peace of mind as we all muddle through the election season  and pandemic issues and whatever the outcomes shall be – Hopefully we come out the other end of this year in better form all around.

Till soon, friends –

 

 

This and that and out and about

Just when we thought 2020 couldn’t get any more bizarre……

I need to make this clear before I go any further… I don’t wish harm or illness on anyone, ever.  That being said… it’s no surprise that the POTUS contracted Covid, is it?   As well as almost half his staff and a family member or two.  Not to mention the myriads we don’t know about who attended his maskless rallies in recent months and the myriads of dead (over 200,000 now and counting)  because he chose to treat the whole thing as a  “Democratic Hoax” in the initial, crucial first months.  He has no one to blame but his own arrogance, ignorance, greed.  It’s mind boggling.  A day ago I thought to myself….. perhaps… this experience will humble him some and he will come out of it with more empathy and smarts for the rest of us moving forward.    No… yesterday’s photo-op in a sealed car where he is again putting his secret servicemen at risk proved otherwise.  When he was initially diagnosed he also attended an event knowing he tested positive.. without notifying anyone until he was back at the WH.     He is so unfit for the position he holds.. on so many levels.   There are no excuses worthy of keeping him there.  I implore anyone reading this.. PLEASE.. vote him out in November.  Please.

The debate?  What a sh*t show.  What a shame.  And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

My son’s house just over the hill is almost complete – move-in day is just two weeks away and I am so excited for them.  As with my daughter’s home next door, the upstairs will remain unfinished for now, an effort to keep the mortgage down, expenses manageable.  When either start a family of their own,  the second floors will be finished.  When we bought This Old House and renovated her beginning in 2009, this was exactly what we had envisioned for the property – Being in the home building business, my husband has a good eye for property potential and I have been in love with this old house (“Saving Grace ” or Gracie as I call her) since my teen years.   We are so very lucky to have been able to acquire her and bring her back to life, and turn this farm into a family compound.  That both of my children are as enthusiastic about this farm as we are is more than just icing on the cake.

M  & M… at the granite/marble warehouse picking out counter granite…

Installed last week, and it is beautiful…  She is also an “M”… when she saw the kitchen almost finished she said… I am not worthy of this kitchen!… but she absolutely is, in spades.  Not only has she worked hard to pursue a career in the optics field, she is already a good cook as well.  I couldn’t be happier for my son, who has chosen a great partner to share life with.  More announcements on that front in the near future.

Meanwhile… I continue to find respite on this farm, my Saving Grace.  The GoatGirlz, Star and Bella are thriving here.  We are all enamored with these two silly girls and their calls to us whenever they spot us nearby.

Leah has become very comfortable with being a “home” horse instead of a show horse…  and we’re thinking we aren’t going to return to the show world in the near future.  The Sh*t Show is still out there.

On the health front, I have lost a solid 10 pounds in the last month, the next ten will be harder.  My relationship with food is complicated.  I love it, I love to make it for myself and especially for others, it is my anxiety and boredom reliever and has been for my entire life.  Bad habits are hard to break!   But.. with less sugar and carbs in my diet, I am feeling better overall – the fibromyalgia pain is less.    Onward…

We have not gotten as much use out of our little seaside cottage this year, too much going on around the farm and work, and of course not having the bigger gatherings there  due to Covid concerns.  Stella continues to be a refuge regardless and next year we’ll spend more time there for sure.

I’ve been trying to instill this next thought in my husband’s mind for 32 years now.  All work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy.  It actually makes him a very grumpy, overworked overtired boy.  Last weekend I did manage to get him to take a day trip to one of his favorite destinations, Vermont… and he actually smiled for a while and took a few deep breaths.  We came home with apples, cider and a pie from the Scotts Farms Orchard in Dummerston and cheese from the Grafton Cheese Factory – it was a very good day.  The colors are not quite peak here in New England, and after the recent tropical storm, here near the shoreline there are a lot of BROWN trees from the sea salt-stained winds.

Wishing you all good health and the happiness to be found in the places we call home, the family we love and the time we make for ourselves – it’s so important.

Till soon –

 

 

 

This and that on a rainy Sunday

 

Not very creative with the blog post title, ay?   But it is raining on this Sunday afternoon and I can justify sitting here to blog for a bit.

How have you all been, what’s it like in your neck o’the woods regarding pandemic living?  Here in New England, many are abiding the mask wearing in public tight quarters spaces.  Our town Hall is still only open by appointment and working via e-mail, phone, etc. for the most part.  Businesses are open with the restrictions many of you are familiar with.   Strange times.  I don’t yet feel comfortable sitting indoors in a restaurant, but we have dined at a few with outside patios.

I feel sorry for the teachers who are dealing with a mess of kids wearing masks (talk about awkward and frustrating) … and the fear some of them are feeling being so exposed if they’ve been very vigilant in their own social distancing.  And I feel sorry for the youth who have been so restricted in their socialization and education experience.  Parents are trying to assuage their fears, balance work and home and childcare needs, a nightmare, really.   Healthcare workers are now seeing the second wave, according to my friends in that field.  Every sniffle, every achy muscle day (for me that’s always, damned fibromyalgia) every scratchy sore throat brings a little thread of dread – is it the virus?  The bad kind, the mild kind or the no symptom kind? .. should I quarantine?   Should my husband and I be sleeping in separate beds?  (hey, sometimes that’s actually appealing anyway) Jeez I wore my mask, washed my hands,…. the anxiety of it all rolls on and on….      I no longer wipe down every single surface of every item I bring home from the grocery store though, as I did initially. That got old and tedious and felt like overkill. Washing the produce and washing my hands after handling feels like it’s enough.

We’ve been getting stuff done around the farm, my daughter and her significant other love their home nextdoor and it’s a joy to see them mowing lawn, weeding garden,  seeing the back door light go on at night while they let the dogs go potty.  And having my daughter nearby to share the barn chores again is a huge blessing.  My son is building his home on a lot at the back of our farm.   I may have mentioned it’s what we do for a living, home building, so this is one area where we -get stuff done- in rapid succession and at a more reasonable price than the typical homeowner.

A glimpse of my son’s home to be –  the red “barn” is his garage… the interior of the home being done slowly as materials, labor and bartering come along, the upstairs will remain unfinished until they become a young family.  The goal is to have as minimal a mortgage as possible (young couple and all that goes with it).

The joy these two goat girls give us are immeasurable. They are so friendly, talking to us all the time, from a distance and right up close.  Truly they are like two toddlers looking for our companionship and attention whenever we are outside.

The upcoming election – oh, man.  ( here’s where you skip the next two paragraphs if you still remain a 45 supporter, I’m not looking to insult anyone) – It has taken a toll on me, watching what I believe is the slow unraveling of America as we (I? I shouldn’t speak for you)  believed it to be.   I’m sad for us all.  I’m not a huge fan of B*den but I also recognize he’s not the slow sleezy do-nothing some would have you believe.  His running mate choice was his best option in my opinion. I look forward to watching K*mala debate the deadwood P*nce.  I am encouraged by some of my republican friends who are now saying there is no way in hell they would vote for Tr*mp again. One dyed in the wool republican neighbor said 45 is a trainwreck he’s ashamed he voted for and he will vote B*den come November.   I’m hoping there are many many more out there like him.  And yet…. there’s the uncertainty of what  will happen should he lose.  I doubt he’ll accept the results, no matter what they are, unless he is the winner.  And there are so many nuts threatening civil war, it’s frightening.  We are at a crossroads, this country… and I hope and pray and beg and plead for our collective soul to rise and rid itself of all the corruption, hate and fueled divide – especially the politicians, including the current P*TUS, who feed it relentlessly.   We the people deserve better.

Yesterday it was reported the P*TUS lost his younger brother, of which he was close.  I would imagine that is a very tough loss for him, and even more so now.  While I despise what he’s doing to our Country, I find I have empathy regardless.  Although the reason for his brother’s passing has not been revealed, I suspect he may have contracted COVID-19.  When he was first reported as ill was precisely the same time the P*TUS started wearing a mask occasionally in public.  I don’t know if we’ll ever know the truth of it.  After having dismissed initial warnings about the virus and playing it down repeatedly for a length of time, well.. the irony and indeed the tragedy of it is what comes to mind.  Of course, I’m speculating only.

Stella by the sea remains a respite for all of us.  We each use it together and separately when free time comes up.  It does my heart good to see the kids enjoy the kayaks, the  grilling of burgers and hotdogs and roasting of marshmallows in the firepit with their friends  (small safe gatherings are possible outdoors). I am loving my new kayak – the one that is discontinued and  I bought for a bargain price.  She glides through the water easily and while a little more tippy than my old steady Ruby, she’s fairly stable regardless and is more agile, lighter to carry.   I have yet to come up with a name for her that feels right- but every vessel must have a proper name…… suggestions welcome.  She’s red orange and yellow.

A photo I took while kayaking  – some of the Thimble Islands out in the distance..

We finally laid my father to rest thanks to the kindness of dear friends who have a lovely old  1976  Egg Harbor boat.   It was a small gathering, just my sister and I, my husband, my niece, and the lovely couple who took us up the Connecticut River  to the mouth of the river into LI Sound –  just beyond the lighthouse at Saybrook Point.   Since it’s not technically legal to dump ashes there , that’s not technically what we were doing .   There was the traditional burial Psalm 23 reading, we tossed white roses out into the waves along with what wasn’t really my father’s ashes in a biodegradable urn,   and  read the following   below as well…     my tears were for several reasons, but the most important one was the overwhelming knowledge in my heart that it was exactly as my father would want it – exactly where he wanted to be in the end.  I felt a sincere closure for him and for me, and that is such a blessing.

Wishing us all good health and peace of mind during these trying times –